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Kabir's POV

I got up and didn't find Kavya on the bed. Maybe she has woken up and went downstairs. Today is Sunday, so once again I called Kavya's security guards and reminded them to start their work from tomorrow and then I called Raut uncle before going to washroom.

I went downstairs to see her having a cup of coffee.

'Good Morning. Sorry, for yesterday, I am getting involved too much in your personal life, right?' she asked.

'Kavya, it's nothing like that and I was not angry at you. I just remembered some memories which I didn't want to remember so I left from there and went to bed before those hurtful memories consume me. Anyways, do you have some plans today?' I asked.

'No. Why?'

'Then, let's go to beach today,' I said.

'What? Why?' she got confused.

'I am feeling like taking you there,' I said.

I just wanted to spend time with her as much as I can before Raj rejoins school.

Yes, there's another week left, but, what if I got busy and cant spend the last week with her?

'You don't have to go to the hotel?' she asked.

'Kavya, why are you asking so many questions? If you don't want to go with me, tell me directly.'

Raut uncle scolded me early in the morning when I told him, I will not come today because many works are pending as I already took leave but I just want to spend some more time with Kavya and yesterday night after our conversation on the terrace, I had decided to take her to the beach.

'Kabir, calm down. I will come with you. We will not take Raj?' she asked.

'No. Aunty will take Raj to her house so that he can play with her grandson,' I replied.

'And, don't act as if you are doing a favour by coming with me, Kavya,' I shouted.

By her tone, I felt like she was doing a favour by agreeing to come with me to the beach.

'How did you get this idea?' she seemed perplexed.

'By your tone,' I said.

'I have not gone to the beach in my entire life. Of course, I want to come and I am sorry, if my tone gave you a wrong impression,' she said calmly.

'One moment, you are so sweet and next moment you get so angry. Why are you like this?' she asked.

'I am like this only and I will try to change myself but it will take time for me to change myself, till that, please understand,' I pleaded.

'I am trying to understand you. Anyways at what time will we leave?' she asked but still she seemed upset.

'4 p.m.'

'Okay,' she said and I went back to my room to call Raut uncle and discuss some work related matters.

*****

'Okay, Kia. I will check the mail,' I said and there was a knock on the door. I opened it and Kavya came inside.

'Wait a minute,' I said to Kia and looked at Kavya.

'It's 2 p.m. Let's go to have lunch,' she said and I looked at the time.

I did not even realize that it's 2 p.m. My day went by talking about work with Raut uncle, getting freshen up, again talking with uncle and checking some mails and now talking with Kia.

'I will finish the call with Kia and come downstairs,' I told her.

'Oh. Okay,' she said after few minutes and then left the place and I resumed my talking.

*****

'Nobody waited for me till now, but everyday, you wait for me,' I said as I sat beside Kavya to have lunch.

'I don't like eating without you when I am with you,' she said as aunty served us lunch. Aunty looked at us and smiled and went back in the kitchen.

'Thank you,' I said as I didn't know what to say other than that.

'Raj had lunch?' I asked.

'Yes. He wanted to wait for you but he had to take the medicines so he had lunch. Now he is taking a nap. I just checked few minutes back,' she told me.

'Okay,' I said and took a bite.

'What if somebody clicked pictures of us and post it on social media?' she asked after some time.

'We will wear a mask and goggles and I will not take my car but I will take the car which Raj uses to go to school,' I told her and she nodded in understanding.

'You seemed upset with me in the morning. Are you okay now?' I asked.

'Yes. I am trying to understand you. I am fine now,' she said and smiled at me.

'Thank you for everything,' I said genuinely.

'No. Thank you for everything, Kabir,' she said and took another bite.

Specially, thank you for waiting for me to have breakfast, lunch and dinner.

'By the way, you had your breakfast?' I suddenly remembered that I forgot to have break fast as I was working.

'No.' She shook her head.

'What should I say?' I said with a sigh.

'Just don't scold me like you scolded me yesterday,' she said and that made me smile.

'Yesterday, I scolded you out of concern as you are not used to having dinner late,' I said.

'Still! I don't like you angry. I like it when we are like this,' she said.

'I will try.'

'You know, I am new to this emotion,' she said as she took her last bite and went to wash her hands.

'What? Anger?' I asked as she came and sat beside me to have water.

'Yes. My dad and mom used to fight sometimes,and in anger they used to shout in loud voices but in few days again, they seemed happy and in love. When I grew up, I asked them about it, my dad said that, they fight but after that fight their love increases and mom said that I will understand after my marriage and one of my colleague also said that one day couples fight and then after some time, again they love each other but I don't understand it.'

'Why?' I was curious to know.

'Me and Sohum never fought,' she told me.

'Never?' I asked and she nodded in a no.

'So, I sometimes get scared when you get angry at me,' she said softly and I took her hand in mine.

'I will try, Kavya. Now, go and take a nap for half an hour and then we will leave. Okay?' I said softly.

'Okay,' she smiled at me and left and I thought that I will try to talk calmly with her.

Her husband never got angry at her and maybe, that's why god united them. He was perfect for her but what her parents colleague said was right?

They said that it's okay to get angry and make up after fights and afterwards, the relationship became more strong. I don't know anything about it as I have never been in love and never looked around people in love as I hated it, and my parents, let's not talk about them. When I was young, once or twice, I saw them really happy, and in love, cuddling and all like Kavya said, but slowly everything changed.

Anyways, I will think about all this later. Now I have to go and finish checking the remaining mails uncle send me before leaving.

*****

I stopped the car in front of a beach and we got out of the car. She was wearing blue top with jeans. I am glad that she started wearing jeans and top.

'The sunset is looking so beautiful,' she said as we started walking towards the beach. We still had our masks on, in case any worker or guest who knows me sees me here. Usually, very few people have seen me as I am usually in my cabin unless there are some difficult customers but still, I don't want to take risk and ruin her day.

'It's so beautiful. I don't know why we never came here. It's just two hours away from the city,' she said as we were walking.

Here also, she is still thinking about her husband. She is with me physically, but her her heart is with her husband and I don't like it.

'Thank you so much for bringing me here, Kabir,' she said and I could sense a big smile on her lips behind the mask.

'I am glad that you enjoyed it, even though you would have felt more happy if it was your husband instead of me,' I said and she looked at me and rolled her eyes.

'You are unbelievable. I am here, with you and enjoying this day with you,' she emphasized on the word 'with you' and I didn't argue further.

'Come let's sit,' I said and we opened our shoes and sandal and sat on the sand.

'I thought you will not sit on the sand,' he said.

'Raj taught me this,' I said and we laughed.

I looked around to see few couples and some group of friends roaming around enjoying their day.

I was so busy with Raj in my college days and studies that I never enjoyed my college days.

'What are you thinking? Are you interested in that girls?' she asked looking towards the college students.

'Your head goes in that direction only, na?' I said making us laugh.

'What to do! I am a romantic,' she replied.

'I was thinking that I never enjoyed all these during college days,' I answered her previous question.

'Why?' she asked.

'Let's enjoy the waves. I will tell you some other day,' I said and started writing my name on the sand to distract myself and a wave came and my name washed away. She also started making some drawings on the sand and waves washed them away.

'Thank you once again for taking your time out and bringing me here,' she thanked me once again after we stopped drawing on the sand. I just looked at her with a smile on my face, which I am sure she didn't notice due to my mask and went back to enjoy the nature.

I looked at a couple where the girl was running and boy was trying to catch her and then they fall on the sand, boy on the top of the girl. I looked at Kavya, looking at them.

'You cannot enjoy all this with me, right? If Sohum was here, you both would also have enjoyed like this.'

'More than me, you are remembering Sohum. Sohum was not even in my mind. I was thinking about us, you and me.' she said making me shock.

I like that 'us.'

'Really? What were you thinking?' I asked.

'Just because I am looking at someone, doesn't mean I am thinking about that topic. Sometimes, I am looking at something, but some other thing goes in my head,' she continued her previous statement without answering me.

'I am sorry. What were you thinking about us?' I asked, again.

'How we both have become so close with each other. You know, after Sohum died I thought my life has ended. I was just living but not actually living, but after you came, I actually started living,' she said and it bought an instant smile on my face.

'Really?' I asked.

'Yes. You know, now I am feeling happy,' she said and I just scooted close to her and held her hand in mine.

'Thank you so much, Kavya.'

'Today, I want to tell you another thing, Kabir,' she said and she didn't pulled her hand away and I am glad for that.

'What?' I asked.

'I feel safe with you,' she said and as soon as those words came from her mouth, I just hugged her tightly.

I think this is the best thing someone has said to me.

'Even with my angry nature, you feel safe with me?' I mumbled in her hug.

'Yes, because, I know that you will never do anything to me,' she replied and broke our hug.

'But, in the morning, you said you get scared when I get angry?' I wanted to clarify.

'Yes. I get scared but I feel safe,' she emphasized on the word 'feel.'

'I get scared when you get angry and start shouting at me, but overall, I feel safe with you,' she clarified.

'I know you will never hurt me. And, I even feel safe, in terms of sharing anything and everything with you. I know, you will not judge me,' she continued.

'I am no one to judge you, Kavya. Nobody should judge anyone. We all are imperfect and have our flaws,' I said, truthfully.

'Sh!t! Today is 19th. Today was the last day to submit our assignment,' we heard a girl shouting and Kavya's facial expression changed.

'What happened? Are you okay?' I asked.

'Shit! Shit! Shit!' she started panicking.

'What happened, Kavya?' I asked again.

'Today is 19th,' she screamed.

'Yes. Why are you shouting?'

'Shit! How can I forget it? I never forget this day.Now, what should I do? God! What he must be thinking about me? How can it slip out of my mind? He must be so upset? God! I am sorry,' she said and was almost on the verge of tears.

'He must be waiting for me whole day and I am here enjoyed on the beach with another man. Wow, kavya, wow,' she said and teardms rolled down her cheeks.

Suddenly she moved away from me, covered her face with her hands and started crying loudly. Everybody was looking at us with question in their eyes.

I scoot closer to her and again she moved away and I got the message and didnt try to move towards her and let her cry.

'Tell me what happened?' I said after she stopped crying.

'Today is Sohum's death anniversary,' she said.

Shit!

That's why she is so upset.

'For the first time, I forgot about it. I should not have stayed at your house. If I was at my house, I wouldn't have forgotten. Today is his death anniverary and I am enjoying at the beach with another man. Wow, kavya, wow,' she laughed at herself.

'Don't belittle yourself by saying like that and don't belittle me and us,' I said firmly.

'What do you do every year?' I asked.

'I wake up early in the morning, get freshen up, put his photo on a table, bring garland and tie it around his photo. Make his favourite dishes, put in front of him and then go to a nearby orphanage to give donations on his name, but, how can I forget it?,'

'Let's go to your house and do all the things or is it some rule to do it early in the morning?' I asked.

'I do it early in the morning,' she said.

'Okay. This time, let's do it now,' I said.

'Okay, but today we can't go to the orphanage, as it closes at 6 p.m and it will already be evening by the time we reach home,' she said.

'Then we can go there some other time. First, let's go to your house,' I said.

'Okay,' let's go,' she wore her sandals, and started walking, almost running, towards the car leaving me behind. She went in some different zone as she realized that she forgot her husband's death anniversary.

At the end, Sohum will always be important for her and it's natural as he was her husband and she loved him but it still hurt.

By the time, I reached towards the car she was already standing near the car. I unlocked the car and she hurriedely sat inside. I also went and sat on the driver's seat.

'Let's go to the market and buy everything and then go home,' she said and I nodded my head and started the car.

*****

I looked at him sitting and looking at his picture. I don't know what she is thinking. I suggested to even buy the food he liked from the market with other things, and she also agreed to it as she realized it will be late till she reach home and prepare food.

Now everything was done, and she is sitting on the floor and looking at him and tears were rolling down her cheeks.

I decided to go and stand in the balcony to give her some privacy. I wanted to leave but I can't leave her alone.

I don't know what I am actually feeling. I am feeling sad for her and after seeing her looking at him with so much love and adoration, there is a wierd sensation in my heart and I can't figure out what I am feeling.

The way she felt guilty and left everything and ran from the beach and the way she blamed herself for enjoying with me didnt made me angry but I got hurt. It's not her fault. God! I dont kow what I am feeling right now.

'What are you thinking?' she came and stood beside me.

'Nothing. I wanted to give you some privacy. Are you okay?' I asked.

'Yes. I am okay,' she said and I didn't knew what to say further. From the time, we travelled from the beach to her house, things have changed and something in us became awkward.

I saw her buying everything she needs and felt like an intruder. I felt like coming between them and I was feeling suffocated so I came in the balcony and another reason was too give her some privacy with him.

'Okay, then, I will leave,' I said and started leaving. I was feeling suffocated and just wanted to run from here.

'You will not take me?' she asked and I turned around and looked at her. She must have seen the shock on my face.

'What?'

'You will not take me?' she asked, again.

'You don't want to stay here with your husband? You want to leave your husband and come with me?' I asked her and she just stared at me for few seconds.

'I am scared of the burglars. What if they attack me this time and I am feeling bad for leaving the beach so suddenly and ruining our plan,' she said and ran towards the bedroom and I realized she was crying.

'Hey! Why are you crying?' I asked as I sat beside her

'Because I am feeling guilty and now your questions are making me more guilty. Leave, I will handle myself,' she said and was still crying.

'You wanted to leave, na? Leave then,' she yelled as she wiped her tears but again tears started rolling down her cheeks.

'Kavya, what happened. Tell me exactly, what you are feeling?' I wanted to know everything she was feeling.

'Leave,' she shouted as tears were continuously rolling down her cheeks.

'I will not leave unless you tell me everything that is going in your heart,' I said softly.

If it was some other person, I would have not tolerated their yelling, but there were two reasons for tolerating her behaviour. First, she was Kavya, and secondly, I dont like when she cries.

'I was thinking that you must be feeling lonely and went in the balcony to accompany you and you are running away like I am some plague. While I was performing rituals, I was thinking about how you must be feeling as we have to leave the beach so early for me. I am feeling so guilty for thinking about you while performing Sohum's ritual and the person I am thinking about is making me feel more guilty for thinking about him and choosing him instead of my husband. Now you got your answer, leave,' she yelled the last part and more tears started rolling down her cheeks.

I did the first thing that came to my mind after listening everything. I pulled her closer to me and hugged her tightly. She wanted to come home with me, instead of staying here with her husband so that I will not be upset.

In my hug, slowly she stopped crying.

I held her tightly, as if she was mine, as if she belonged in my arms even though I know that she can never be mine, but atleast, in this moment, she was mine. In my arms.

'I don't like you. You always hurt my feelings,' she mumbled in my hug making me chuckle.

'I am sorry, baby,' I said and instantly realized the endearment I used.

Shit! Why did I say that?

'Let's go home,' I said and hoped that she didn't hear what I called her.

I think she had not heard it, otherwise she would have questioned me by now. She was still in my arms. She didn't pull herself away from me, that means she has not heard it.

Slowly, she wrapped her hands around my waist, which surprised me and pulled me closer to her leaving no gap between us.

'Tell me, I should not feel guilty, kabir. Tell me I am not wrong for thinking about your mood, while doing my husband's ritual. Please, kabir, tell me I am not wrong,' she said and once again started crying loudly.

I broke our hug and wiped her tears.

'You are not wrong, Kavya. If you are thinking about what your friend must be thinking as you left the beach so suddenly, then you are not wrong, Kavya. It's natural to think like that. Now that we are very good friends, you can feel bad by thinking that you have made me upset even though it's not true as I understand how important this day is for you,' I tried to explain to her.

'But...' I wanted to share my thoughts with her but stopped myself.

'But?' she asked.

'From the time, we left the beach, something changed, I felt like a third person coming between a husband and wife so I went in the balcony to give both of you some privacy. And, you are right, I wanted to run away from here as I was feeling awkward,' I told her the truth.

'From the time we left the beach, your facial expression changed, and as time passed I realized that you were upset, and that bothered me so much that I could not even concentrate on the rituals which made me feel guilty and then your questions made me feel more guilty.'

'I am sorry for questioning you, Kavya. You were just being a good friend,' I apologized.

'You want to come with me as you are afraid of burglars but another reason is that you don't want me to feel upset, right?' I asked.

'Yes.'

'I will not get upset, Kavya. You don't have to come with me. I will call and ask the security guard to start the work from today itself. You can stay here,' I said and her face lit up.

I don't know this happiness was because I said that she can stay with Sohum or because I said that I will not get upset even if she doesn't come with me.

'Thank you for asking the security guards to work from today,' she said and I called one of the security guard but he was not picking up the phone. I called again but still he was not picking up the phone. I called the other guard and his mobile was switched off.

I have to talk to them about it. I have to ask them to pick up the calls and never switch their phone.

'They are not picking up,' I said.

'Oh.'

I tried again and again but there was no response.

'I will stay with you for the night,' I said.

'No. You don't have to,' she panicked.

'I want to stay with you. I dont want to take any risk.'

'But, can you leave by 5 in the morning? Sorry. I mean... if someone sees you leaving, they will think something different,' she said and I looked at her.

I am not some dirty secret that she wants to hide but it seems like this. I know what people will think, but, still I didn't like it.

'I am not your dirty secret, Kavya,' I said firmly and there was shock on her face.

'How can that thought come to your mind? In general, society questions everybody and it is multiplied if you are a widow, Kabir,' she explained.

'You are my friend. You are the best thing that happened to me. Why will I treat you like a dirty secret but to live in this society, sometimes we have to do things we dont want to do,' she continued further and a big smile came on my lips by hearing the first part.

How can her words affect me so much? She can make me happy and angry too. She has so much power on me and I don't know, when did she started having so much power on me.

'Okay. I will leave by 5,' I said.

'Thank you. I thank god for giving you friend like me,' she said with a smile on her face but that word 'friend' irked me even though I said it to her few minutes back.

'Anyways, will Sohum's cloth fit you? Your clothes has became dirty as we were sitting on the sand,' she asked and looked at me from head to toe.

I don't want to wear his clothes.

'I don't think it will fit you as you are more muscular than him. Wait! My brother forgot a set of clothes here. That will fit you,' she said.

Thank god.

'Okay.'

'I will search for it.'

'Till then I will call aunty and ask her to let Raj stay in their house for a night,' I said.

'Okay. I will go and bring you clothes,' she said and left.

The fact that the other reason of her coming with me was because she was worried about my mood made me so happy. While being with Sohum also, she was thinking about me being upset, made me happy.

Suddenly, my eyes went towards my shirt and realized a part of my shirt has got wet due to her tears which reminded me of our hug.

This time, the hug felt different. At that time, I felt that she belonged to me and that feeling increased, when she pulled me more close to her. I felt that she is mine. I have never felt that she belongs to me till now but today something changed.

Maybe, because, I hugged her after knowing that among me and her husband, she chose me and was even ready to go to my house with me just to see me happy.

*****

I hope you liked the chapter.

Did you like their beach part?

And kavya's confession of being safe with him?

What do you think? Why did she and Sohum never fought?

She forgot his death anniversary? What do you think is she moving on? Or is she going five steps ahead only to go ten steps backward?

What do you think about their hug?

And little fight?

AND,

Fire has burned in both sides, but what do you think, who will confess the love first, Kabir or Kavya.

It's a long chapter.

Please VOTE and COMMENT if you liked the chapter.

*****