sub
1
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,649
OK. Let's see where we are.
2
00:00:17,549 --> 00:00:20,339
Get rid of this, get rid of that,
kill that...
3
00:00:21,374 --> 00:00:22,454
That kinda freaks me out...
4
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,042
Don't need her, we can get
rid of that...
5
00:00:26,347 --> 00:00:27,854
OK, we can start with this.
6
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,082
I know it's a hard editing piece,
but come on, you guys.
7
00:00:30,532 --> 00:00:33,075
It's the internet. We need traffic,
traffic, traffic. What you got?
8
00:00:33,381 --> 00:00:35,976
-How about this?
-Perfect!
9
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,205
Now doesn't she look smart and
knowledgeable about immigration reform?
10
00:00:38,940 --> 00:00:41,524
Yeah! She does, right?
I'm fucking with you, people!
11
00:00:41,559 --> 00:00:44,091
This isn't a porn site! What are we,
nerds trying to look at boobies?
12
00:00:44,933 --> 00:00:46,149
Come on, keep looking.
13
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,593
Shit!
14
00:00:47,990 --> 00:00:48,793
Hello?
15
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,733
Hey, baby. Where are you?
Are you still at work?
16
00:00:50,796 --> 00:00:52,169
No! Not even close.
17
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,912
Just so you know, the movie
starts in 10 minutes.
18
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:55,408
-I know. Give me your pants.
-What?
19
00:00:55,685 --> 00:00:57,063
-I'll buy you lunch tomorrow, come on.
-No.
20
00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:58,975
I'm your boss. Give me your pants.
21
00:00:59,150 --> 00:01:01,495
Please, try not to be late.
I really hate missing the beginning.
22
00:01:01,698 --> 00:01:02,620
I know, I know.
23
00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:05,725
Give me your pants.
24
00:01:05,950 --> 00:01:07,808
I'm coming, baby.
I'm almost there.
25
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,136
-How far away?
-I think I see you.
26
00:01:12,016 --> 00:01:13,928
-Where are you? I'm here.
-So am I.
27
00:01:14,345 --> 00:01:15,560
So many people.
What are you wearing?
28
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,041
I'm wearing the only clothes
outside the theatre...
29
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,797
because I'm the only person
outside the theatre.
30
00:01:21,193 --> 00:01:23,083
I love that outfit. You look
so sexy in that.
31
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:24,680
You know that I love this movie.
32
00:01:24,996 --> 00:01:27,249
If a prostitute and a ruthless
businessman...
33
00:01:27,564 --> 00:01:29,870
can fall in love, then anyone can.
34
00:01:30,365 --> 00:01:32,133
I know this means a lot to you,
which means it means a lot to me.
35
00:01:32,514 --> 00:01:34,978
-Well apparently it doesn't.
-I'm looking at you right now, I can see you.
36
00:01:35,518 --> 00:01:37,566
-Jamie.
-Hey!
37
00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,074
-Oh, you made it.
-Yeah.
38
00:01:41,909 --> 00:01:44,406
-Sorry I'm late.
-It's OK. I got us sandwiches.
39
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:46,893
I got you turkey, no cheese.
40
00:01:47,388 --> 00:01:49,020
Are you sure this was prepared
in an air-free facility?
41
00:01:49,728 --> 00:01:51,134
Yes, I'm fully aware
of your allergies.
42
00:01:51,629 --> 00:01:52,842
Hey, I'm here.
43
00:01:53,916 --> 00:01:56,555
-I'm really sorry.
-We missed "Your body is a wonderland".
44
00:01:56,795 --> 00:01:58,670
OK, only one song.
That's not so bad, right?
45
00:01:58,974 --> 00:02:00,318
It was fucking "Your body is a wonderland".
46
00:02:00,452 --> 00:02:03,441
Well good news is he has so many...
good ones.
47
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:06,726
Here's an idea. Next time,
instead of being late...
48
00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:08,908
just shit on my face coz that's
kinda of the same thing...
49
00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,306
as missing "Your body is a wonderland".
50
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,194
OK we really got to go in.
Julia Roberts is about...
51
00:02:12,475 --> 00:02:13,634
to put on her really tall boots.
52
00:02:15,533 --> 00:02:16,513
We need to talk.
53
00:02:20,685 --> 00:02:21,743
I think we should take a break.
54
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,972
I just feel like we should
chill for a while, you know?
55
00:02:24,156 --> 00:02:25,865
-You're doing this!
-You're breaking up with me?!
56
00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:28,376
-You said I was your soul mate.
-I did? When?
57
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,849
When we were at that B&B
having sex.
58
00:02:31,105 --> 00:02:32,526
-You know, that doesn't...
-Doesn't what?!
59
00:02:32,637 --> 00:02:33,730
Count.
60
00:02:33,766 --> 00:02:35,563
I was tied up at work.
I'm sorry.
61
00:02:35,887 --> 00:02:37,847
Maybe you should care a little bit
less about work...
62
00:02:38,174 --> 00:02:39,659
and a little more about the
girl that you're dating.
63
00:02:40,671 --> 00:02:43,585
Coz last time I checked,
work doesn't reassure you that...
64
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,038
liking a finger up your ass,
doesn't make you gay.
65
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,773
I never said go up, OK?
66
00:02:49,166 --> 00:02:52,112
I just said lightly around...
It's like a little button...
67
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:53,989
You know what?
Not your issue anymore.
68
00:02:54,255 --> 00:02:56,801
Is this why you were late? You were
worried about how to break up with me?
69
00:02:57,086 --> 00:02:59,148
No, no. I was trying to decide
what to wear.
70
00:02:59,321 --> 00:03:01,249
-So you went with sneakers and a hoodie.
-Yeah.
71
00:03:01,536 --> 00:03:03,249
What, you were gonna take SATs after this?
72
00:03:03,435 --> 00:03:05,791
Don't lash out, OK?
You're better than that.
73
00:03:05,822 --> 00:03:06,989
I'm really not.
74
00:03:07,165 --> 00:03:08,536
I think we're heading in
different directions.
75
00:03:08,684 --> 00:03:10,888
Yeah, you to the John Mayer concert
and me not.
76
00:03:11,277 --> 00:03:12,767
Thank you for doing this before
the concert, by the way.
77
00:03:13,328 --> 00:03:15,173
Best break up ever.
78
00:03:15,338 --> 00:03:17,570
He is the Sheryl Crow of our generation.
79
00:03:17,746 --> 00:03:19,056
Let me just ask you one
quick question.
80
00:03:19,263 --> 00:03:22,859
And just know, that I am not at all
crushed by this break up.
81
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,569
So be honest.
Why?
82
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,730
-Is this a trick?
-No, just pure anthropological research.
83
00:03:28,193 --> 00:03:29,916
OK. You want someone to sweep
you off your feet...
84
00:03:30,164 --> 00:03:32,504
but you're more interested in getting
swept of your feet...
85
00:03:32,774 --> 00:03:34,056
than in someone who's
doing the sweeping.
86
00:03:34,473 --> 00:03:35,989
You seem like you got it
totally together...
87
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:37,689
but you're actually really
emotionally damaged.
88
00:03:38,284 --> 00:03:41,446
Also, you have like really big eyes
and that freaks me out sometimes.
89
00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:43,292
Thank you. That's enough.
90
00:03:43,531 --> 00:03:45,845
-It is not you at all.
-Of course it's me!
91
00:03:46,129 --> 00:03:48,040
You can't say that.
You're breaking up with ME!
92
00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:50,718
It's not, it's me.
I don't like you anymore.
93
00:03:51,042 --> 00:03:53,227
This is my fault.
You deserve better than me.
94
00:03:53,447 --> 00:03:57,637
You're a great guy. A little too
emotionally unavailable, if you ask me.
95
00:03:57,869 --> 00:03:59,990
-I didn't.
-I really wanna stay friends.
96
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,406
-Let's stay friends.
-Sure.
97
00:04:01,716 --> 00:04:02,520
Totally.
98
00:04:06,368 --> 00:04:08,124
John fucking Mayer!
99
00:04:09,305 --> 00:04:13,141
Come here you.
You're gonna get through this.
100
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:17,167
Why do relationships always
start out so fun...
101
00:04:17,505 --> 00:04:19,620
and then turn into suck a bag of dicks?
102
00:04:20,081 --> 00:04:22,264
I really have to stop buying into
this bullshit Hollywood cliche...
103
00:04:22,703 --> 00:04:23,772
of true love.
104
00:04:24,672 --> 00:04:26,798
Shut up, Katherine Heigl!
You stupid liar!
105
00:04:27,732 --> 00:04:30,477
Just gonna work and fuck.
Like George Clooney.
106
00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:33,054
I'm just gonna shut myself down
emotionally.
107
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,464
Like George Clooney.
108
00:04:47,181 --> 00:04:48,441
Sit up please, sir.
109
00:04:48,981 --> 00:04:50,331
Is that the Hudson river?
110
00:04:50,759 --> 00:04:52,728
No. It's the East river.
111
00:04:53,211 --> 00:04:56,294
So we won't be landing on
it then like that...flight.
112
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,591
You know, with that captain
they keep giving medals to.
113
00:05:00,828 --> 00:05:02,451
That pilot was a hero.
114
00:05:04,678 --> 00:05:05,725
Asshole.
115
00:05:07,154 --> 00:05:09,044
Plane actually did a lot of the work.
116
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:12,274
I think I found the perfect guy
to fill that job at GQ.
117
00:05:12,925 --> 00:05:14,771
He's landing and I'm scrambling.
118
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,831
He's not sold on the job yet, but I'll
get him there, I always do.
119
00:05:18,517 --> 00:05:20,160
I'm even picking him up in a hybrid.
120
00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:22,725
He's from LA, I figured he's into
all that bullshit.
121
00:05:23,659 --> 00:05:25,346
Hey sir, what's that tall building
over there?
122
00:05:26,371 --> 00:05:27,439
The Empire State Building.
123
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:31,163
No, no. The other one. The really, really tall one.
With the antenna on top of it...
124
00:05:31,962 --> 00:05:33,887
-the windows...
-The Empire State Building!
125
00:05:34,741 --> 00:05:36,574
Oh yeah. You're right.
King Kong.
126
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:43,955
Hey, are you done with this?
127
00:05:44,923 --> 00:05:47,206
Welcome to New York Ms. Renderghast.
128
00:05:58,799 --> 00:05:59,992
Oh no!
129
00:06:01,252 --> 00:06:02,647
Excuse me, sorry.
130
00:06:07,518 --> 00:06:09,004
-Can you get me my bag?
-Sure. Which one?
131
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:10,849
-The one with the strips.
-OK.
132
00:06:14,258 --> 00:06:15,563
Welcome to New York, sir.
133
00:06:19,861 --> 00:06:20,850
Excuse me.
134
00:06:22,234 --> 00:06:23,765
-That's me.
-Which one, the blue or the yellow?
135
00:06:24,541 --> 00:06:26,735
No, the makeshift sign made
out of lipstick. That's me.
136
00:06:27,772 --> 00:06:29,356
-You're Dylan Harper.
-I am.
137
00:06:29,795 --> 00:06:31,775
-I'm Jamie-.
-You're picking me up from the airport.
138
00:06:32,506 --> 00:06:33,857
Yes, I am.
139
00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:36,320
You always pick people up like this?
140
00:06:36,759 --> 00:06:38,616
You know, I like to keep things interesting.
Welcome to New York.
141
00:06:38,835 --> 00:06:40,202
Thank you.
142
00:06:40,448 --> 00:06:42,565
You're not exactly what comes to mind
when you think "head hunter".
143
00:06:43,025 --> 00:06:44,432
Yeah, I prefer "executive recruiter".
144
00:06:44,815 --> 00:06:46,041
Head hunter sounds a little creepy.
145
00:06:46,514 --> 00:06:48,314
You did stalk me for 6 moths.
Kinda creepy.
146
00:06:49,270 --> 00:06:50,755
Here, I'll take it.
147
00:06:50,964 --> 00:06:52,976
You're really gonna carry my bag?
You're that girl?
148
00:06:53,203 --> 00:06:55,811
No. I'm gonna change your life.
I'm THAT girl.
149
00:06:57,113 --> 00:06:58,354
My life is already pretty great.
150
00:06:58,647 --> 00:07:01,631
Oh really? Coz you wouldn't be here
if your life was already pretty great.
151
00:07:02,412 --> 00:07:04,140
A free trip to NY, I'd be an idiot
to turn that down.
152
00:07:04,574 --> 00:07:06,715
Well then I guess you must have been an
idiot for the past 6 months.
153
00:07:07,418 --> 00:07:09,709
Oh, a lot of people would say
longer than that.
154
00:07:10,738 --> 00:07:12,205
It's a huge opportunity, Dylan.
155
00:07:12,357 --> 00:07:14,962
Art director of GQ magazine,
this is the big leagues.
156
00:07:15,694 --> 00:07:17,337
No offense to your little blog
on the internet.
157
00:07:17,547 --> 00:07:19,327
Which got 6 mil. hits last month.
158
00:07:19,431 --> 00:07:21,813
I could put up a video of me mixing
cake batter with my boobs...
159
00:07:22,196 --> 00:07:23,647
and it would get 8 mil. hits.
160
00:07:24,008 --> 00:07:24,817
It's been done.
161
00:07:25,351 --> 00:07:27,683
-dunkinmytitshynes.com.
-Really?
162
00:07:29,391 --> 00:07:31,692
There is no question that you are
talented at what you do...
163
00:07:32,007 --> 00:07:33,345
but this is GQ!
164
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:37,891
NY is so crowded. Look around.
I'm from LA, OK?
165
00:07:38,251 --> 00:07:39,646
I like my open spaces.
166
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,683
What are you, a gazelle?
167
00:07:41,964 --> 00:07:43,670
What's really worrying you about this?
168
00:07:45,774 --> 00:07:49,100
I don't know. I don't want to be
the guy who took something legendary...
169
00:07:49,550 --> 00:07:51,725
and shit the bed with it.
Excuse the expression.
170
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:54,918
Well, don't be the guy who shits the bed,
excuse the expression.
171
00:07:55,828 --> 00:07:58,082
Be the guy who made the bed legendary again.
172
00:07:59,307 --> 00:08:01,793
We'll get some coffee before the
interview, you'll be fine.
173
00:08:02,660 --> 00:08:06,745
I'm sorry, not coffee. Some green tea-soy-
organic-hemp bullshit.
174
00:08:08,420 --> 00:08:09,455
It's really hot in NY.
175
00:08:09,902 --> 00:08:11,233
It gets hot in LA.
176
00:08:11,329 --> 00:08:12,909
Yeah it gets hot in LA,
but it's the humidity.
177
00:08:13,221 --> 00:08:15,204
In LA it's 90F, it feels like 90F.
178
00:08:15,554 --> 00:08:18,592
When it's hot in NY, 90F
is like 100.000F.
179
00:08:18,963 --> 00:08:20,786
This conversation about the weather
is really fascinating...
180
00:08:21,146 --> 00:08:23,142
but lucky for me, we're here.
181
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:29,370
So, good luck.
182
00:08:29,584 --> 00:08:32,622
Just do me a favor. Act like you do
so that I look good.
183
00:08:33,015 --> 00:08:34,399
-I can do that.
-OK.
184
00:08:34,872 --> 00:08:36,391
-Go get 'em.
-This is great by the way.
185
00:08:45,877 --> 00:08:47,415
Ugh!
186
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:58,884
-Hey!
-You're still here?
187
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,875
Yeah. Well, it's my job.
188
00:09:03,145 --> 00:09:04,735
So, tell me how did it go?
189
00:09:06,186 --> 00:09:07,896
They bought it. You're safe for
a little while longer.
190
00:09:08,740 --> 00:09:10,135
Thank you. I owe you one.
191
00:09:14,410 --> 00:09:16,312
-This is from you.
-It's your offer.
192
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:19,203
-Wait...I got it?
-They called about 5 minutes ago.
193
00:09:20,719 --> 00:09:23,424
Congratulations. Offer expires at midnight.
194
00:09:24,266 --> 00:09:26,100
Why didn't you just tell me
instead of texting me?
195
00:09:26,323 --> 00:09:27,889
Coz it's more dramatic.
196
00:09:30,375 --> 00:09:31,883
Dylan, you're not gonna shit the bed.
197
00:09:32,467 --> 00:09:34,212
I've seen your work, it's amazing.
198
00:09:34,777 --> 00:09:37,902
It's a huge move. Would you uproot your
entire life for a job? Be honest.
199
00:09:38,304 --> 00:09:41,862
For a job, probably not.
But for NY...
200
00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:44,495
Yeah, I would.
201
00:09:44,607 --> 00:09:46,552
Which is why I'm not gonna try to
sell you on the job...
202
00:09:46,923 --> 00:09:48,059
I'm gonna sell you on NY.
203
00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:50,467
It's NY! I've seen Seinfeld.
204
00:09:50,627 --> 00:09:52,617
Not the bullshit tourist version.
205
00:09:54,968 --> 00:09:56,553
Puppy dog eyes.
Nice touch.
206
00:09:56,942 --> 00:09:59,051
Yes! Come on.
Let me buy you a drink.
207
00:10:02,607 --> 00:10:03,530
What's wrong?
208
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:06,932
-What are you waiting for?
-The light to change.
209
00:10:07,109 --> 00:10:09,955
You LA folk are so cute.
Come on.
210
00:10:11,762 --> 00:10:12,969
See? I'm gonna die!
211
00:10:13,394 --> 00:10:17,255
Here we have Brooklyn bridge,
downtown Manhattan...
212
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,395
and right in front of us...
an outdoors bar.
213
00:10:21,406 --> 00:10:24,175
Ha! Alcohol!
Now we're talking.
214
00:10:27,504 --> 00:10:28,731
You know, I like you.
215
00:10:29,238 --> 00:10:30,622
I'll give you a choice of closes.
216
00:10:31,118 --> 00:10:31,948
What?
217
00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:33,703
How I'd close you on this job.
218
00:10:34,373 --> 00:10:39,481
So we have the flattery close:
"Dylan, you're so good at what you do".
219
00:10:39,802 --> 00:10:43,763
The take it or leave it close:
"Man, I don't care if you take it, I get paid regardless".
220
00:10:44,203 --> 00:10:46,417
The sympathy close:
"You see, my kids..."
221
00:10:46,650 --> 00:10:49,415
Why do women think the only way
to get a man to do what they want...
222
00:10:49,701 --> 00:10:50,675
is to manipulate them?
223
00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:54,089
History, personal experience,
romantic comedies.
224
00:10:55,564 --> 00:10:57,432
You're here for a reason,
whether you want to admit it or not.
225
00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,213
Yeah, to explore an option.
226
00:10:59,587 --> 00:11:00,733
Who wouldn't want to know their options?
227
00:11:00,899 --> 00:11:03,571
-Someone who's in a perfect situation.
-Are you in the perfect situation?
228
00:11:03,799 --> 00:11:07,963
Job? Absolutely.
Everything else? None of your business.
229
00:11:11,734 --> 00:11:12,759
Shaun!
230
00:11:13,503 --> 00:11:14,683
Jamie!
231
00:11:16,603 --> 00:11:18,193
You look great, you've been working out?
232
00:11:18,266 --> 00:11:19,701
No, just been eating a lot.
233
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:21,635
OK. You want a drink?
234
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:23,142
-Yeah.
-Let me get you a drink.
235
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:24,707
Careful!
236
00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:28,240
Hey bro, that was like
a double McTwist 1260.
237
00:11:30,034 --> 00:11:31,529
Yeah, like the trick.
-Yeah!
238
00:11:31,847 --> 00:11:33,233
-Dylan.
-Jamie, you wanna get this guy...
239
00:11:33,572 --> 00:11:35,045
out of my face before I break
his fucking skull?
240
00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:38,116
Sorry, bro. No disrespect.
I'm a huge fan.
241
00:11:38,321 --> 00:11:41,311
You don't fucking know me, man.
Don't talk to me like you know me.
242
00:11:41,863 --> 00:11:43,843
What, you think I'm all chill because
I snow board and shit?
243
00:11:44,348 --> 00:11:46,806
One more word and I'll fuck you
up like dynamite.
244
00:11:47,477 --> 00:11:50,143
-Dynamite...
-Nah, I'm just playing, bro.
245
00:11:51,156 --> 00:11:53,216
Any friend of Jamie's is cool with me.
246
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,116
It's all good, man.
247
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:58,436
I'm whispering in the ear
of a dead man.
248
00:11:59,425 --> 00:12:00,989
-See you later.
-Bye, honey.
249
00:12:02,429 --> 00:12:04,433
Shaun White seems really great.
250
00:12:05,135 --> 00:12:06,198
Nice dude.
251
00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,723
-How do you know him again?
-I took his virginity.
252
00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:11,148
Oh, so you guys have known each
other for a while?
253
00:12:11,521 --> 00:12:12,904
No, it was like 8 months ago.
254
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:16,313
Wow. So does the carpet match the drapes?
255
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,338
It's the hardwood floors,
if you know what I mean.
256
00:12:19,992 --> 00:12:20,914
My God!
257
00:12:21,263 --> 00:12:22,938
-Teribble visual.
-Totally kidding, by the way.
258
00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:24,785
Just an old friend of mine.
259
00:12:25,685 --> 00:12:27,395
You guys use the same leave-in conditioner.
260
00:12:27,898 --> 00:12:29,260
Your hair has nice body.
261
00:12:33,894 --> 00:12:34,975
-What are you looking for?
-The cops.
262
00:12:35,404 --> 00:12:36,932
-Come on.
-The cops?!
263
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,583
-Where you're taking me?
-You'll see.
264
00:12:58,420 --> 00:12:59,637
Here's your open space.
265
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,034
Run, gazelle.
Run!
266
00:13:07,235 --> 00:13:08,706
Wow! It's unbelievable.
267
00:13:12,406 --> 00:13:13,972
OK, this was not on Seinfeld.
268
00:13:15,008 --> 00:13:16,314
What your dad think about all this?
269
00:13:18,968 --> 00:13:19,733
About what?
270
00:13:20,599 --> 00:13:23,232
He must have an opinion,
he used to write for LA Times for 23 years.
271
00:13:24,749 --> 00:13:26,315
Somebody did their homework.
272
00:13:26,629 --> 00:13:29,914
I have this thing at work,
it's called Google.
273
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,429
Come on, what does he think
about the job?
274
00:13:33,769 --> 00:13:34,916
Actually, I didn't ask him.
275
00:13:35,602 --> 00:13:37,122
Well, you must know what he'd say.
276
00:13:41,216 --> 00:13:45,191
He'd tell me to go with my gut
and that he'd be proud of me no matter what I did.
277
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:48,983
Sounds like a really great man.
278
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:51,930
Yeah, he is.
279
00:13:52,283 --> 00:13:54,124
Hey, do you wanna see something
really cool?
280
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,115
I always wanna see something really cool.
281
00:13:57,567 --> 00:13:58,490
Come on.
282
00:14:03,147 --> 00:14:05,398
Only place in the city you
can actually see the stars.
283
00:14:08,457 --> 00:14:10,258
-Pretty awesome.
-I know.
284
00:14:11,056 --> 00:14:13,138
I like to come up here to think.
Just when it gets a little too much...
285
00:14:13,464 --> 00:14:17,076
for me down there, it's like...
my NY version of a mountain top.
286
00:14:17,998 --> 00:14:19,034
Best part?
287
00:14:19,547 --> 00:14:20,886
No cell reception.
288
00:14:23,721 --> 00:14:24,845
You take all your recruits up here?
289
00:14:26,931 --> 00:14:28,888
Actually never really
taken anyone up here.
290
00:14:29,824 --> 00:14:31,777
-Really?
-Yeah.
291
00:14:31,970 --> 00:14:33,078
Thanks.
292
00:14:33,244 --> 00:14:34,433
If you tell anyone about this...
293
00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:36,705
I will rip your ears off
and staple them to your neck.
294
00:14:38,314 --> 00:14:40,532
Everyone in this city seems
really violent.
295
00:14:42,207 --> 00:14:44,008
Oh, come on let's go.
One last stop.
296
00:14:44,896 --> 00:14:46,632
-We're just getting comfortable.
-I know. Come on, buddy.
297
00:14:50,659 --> 00:14:53,022
Oh, you show me Times Square!
This is not touristy at all!
298
00:14:53,097 --> 00:14:54,552
Oh, would you shush!
Come on!
299
00:14:54,664 --> 00:14:57,241
-Do we have to power walk everywhere we go?
-Yes.
300
00:14:58,172 --> 00:15:01,729
So everybody just kind of...
walks wherever they want then...
301
00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:03,305
Right here.
302
00:15:04,136 --> 00:15:05,499
-What do you mean?
-We're here.
303
00:15:11,618 --> 00:15:12,880
My God, it's 1988.
304
00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:15,264
All right smartass, give it 5 seconds.
305
00:15:37,913 --> 00:15:40,275
-What is this?
-It's a flash mob!
306
00:15:41,509 --> 00:15:43,291
-Oh, like on Oprah!
-Exactly!
307
00:15:44,121 --> 00:15:46,957
-Should we get out of the way?
-No, no! Enjoy it. Take it all in.
308
00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:51,910
-Pretty damn cool!
-Right?
309
00:15:58,805 --> 00:16:00,066
Do these people get paid for this?
310
00:16:00,708 --> 00:16:03,182
No, no! They kinda just
do it for fun.
311
00:16:04,386 --> 00:16:06,346
It's nice to feel like you're
a part of something.
312
00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:08,405
NY can be a little bit lonely at times.
313
00:16:08,681 --> 00:16:10,229
And you're trying to sell me on it?
314
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,794
Every place can be
a little bit lonely sometimes.
315
00:16:17,969 --> 00:16:19,680
-Be careful!
-God!
316
00:16:28,927 --> 00:16:30,007
Shit! Get back down.
317
00:16:40,156 --> 00:16:41,055
I'm in.
318
00:16:41,572 --> 00:16:42,462
What?
319
00:16:42,854 --> 00:16:44,156
You sold me.
320
00:16:44,409 --> 00:16:45,731
-Really?
-I'll take the job.
321
00:16:45,895 --> 00:16:47,385
-Oh my God!
-Are you surprised?
322
00:16:47,835 --> 00:16:48,971
No, no!
323
00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:57,130
-You can all go home now. Thank you.
-Very funny.
324
00:16:58,025 --> 00:17:00,796
Congratulations, sellout!
325
00:17:01,171 --> 00:17:02,607
Thank you, thank you!
326
00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:05,656
All I'm saying is, it wasn't so much the pilot's
skill that landed that plane on the river...
327
00:17:06,005 --> 00:17:07,332
as much as the mechanics of the aircraft.
328
00:17:07,538 --> 00:17:09,324
Are you saying that captain Sully
wasn't a hero?
329
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,823
No,no! There was just other factors.
330
00:17:13,196 --> 00:17:14,859
Are you not an American?
331
00:17:26,401 --> 00:17:28,730
Hey, do you wanna get
your shit out of my car or what?
332
00:17:31,938 --> 00:17:34,363
Welcome to NY.
Go and fuck a dick.
333
00:17:59,298 --> 00:18:02,358
So, all I ask is that you give me a little
bit of time to gain your trust.
334
00:18:02,763 --> 00:18:04,844
I know that I'm new at this but what I
lack in experience...
335
00:18:05,497 --> 00:18:07,095
I make up for in cliches.
336
00:18:07,646 --> 00:18:08,827
So, my door is always open.
337
00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:13,386
Seriously, my door is always open.
338
00:18:16,726 --> 00:18:19,068
My first order of business...
lighter doors.
339
00:18:21,722 --> 00:18:22,847
Thank you, guys.
340
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,603
Hey man, Tommy-sports editor.
341
00:18:26,548 --> 00:18:28,686
Tommy! I read your articles.
Love your writing.
342
00:18:29,293 --> 00:18:31,793
Just trying to keep it realsies.
Listen, I'd love to take you out...
343
00:18:32,108 --> 00:18:33,548
one night and trawl for cock.
344
00:18:33,799 --> 00:18:34,943
What?
345
00:18:35,303 --> 00:18:39,365
You got some pretty boys out there in LA
but the quality in this town is ridiculous!
346
00:18:39,939 --> 00:18:41,737
We can tear this shit up!
347
00:18:42,435 --> 00:18:44,167
-I'm not gay, Tommy.
-Really?
348
00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,953
I just assumed Art director, and..
349
00:18:47,531 --> 00:18:49,061
Hey no skin, more pipe for me.
350
00:18:49,601 --> 00:18:52,695
By the way, doing a piece on racism and
hockey. Would love to get your...
351
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:57,713
concepts on the font. I'm thinking Helvetica,
but I could be persuaded to Courier New...
352
00:18:58,084 --> 00:19:00,920
but what the fuck do I know?
I'm just a sports editor.
353
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:05,083
-You sure you're not gay?
-Yep, I'm sure.
354
00:19:11,281 --> 00:19:13,363
I'd knock, but you don't have a door.
355
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:14,848
I don't.
356
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:16,535
Hey, check this out.
357
00:19:18,943 --> 00:19:21,397
-That really does exist.
-I told you. But not that, this.
358
00:19:24,367 --> 00:19:26,425
-Awesome!
-But even more awesome if this happened.
359
00:19:28,665 --> 00:19:31,218
-Wait for it.
-Nice!
360
00:19:31,781 --> 00:19:33,253
I got in touch with the guy that puts
flash mobs together.
361
00:19:33,804 --> 00:19:35,493
I'm thinking about using them for
guerilla advertising.
362
00:19:36,291 --> 00:19:38,013
Taking something so pure and
commercializing it?
363
00:19:38,721 --> 00:19:40,398
-I found the right guy.
-Here I am.
364
00:19:40,982 --> 00:19:42,907
Ok here's your contract. Sign it
and I'll be out of here.
365
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:48,477
A whole year?
366
00:19:49,219 --> 00:19:51,840
Why do I get the feeling this is the first
real commitment you ever made?
367
00:19:52,481 --> 00:19:55,542
It's not. T-Mobile. Two years.
And fuck do I regret that one.
368
00:19:56,138 --> 00:19:58,130
Do me a favor. Don't quit or get fired
before the year is up...
369
00:19:58,456 --> 00:19:59,738
because otherwise I don't get my bonus.
370
00:20:00,322 --> 00:20:01,370
You mean I can leave whenever I want?
371
00:20:02,180 --> 00:20:04,173
-What's the point of this contract?
-Just sign the damn thing.
372
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,338
Nice doing business with you, Dylan Harper.
373
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,382
Hey, I was thinking of getting some lunch.
Do you know a place?
374
00:20:15,826 --> 00:20:17,165
Are you asking me out?
375
00:20:18,099 --> 00:20:20,597
I'm not asking you out, I'm asking you
to show me a restaurant.
376
00:20:20,878 --> 00:20:23,241
I mean, I'm the only friend you have in NY.
You don't wanna complicate that.
377
00:20:23,509 --> 00:20:25,074
I know, I'm not asking you out.
378
00:20:25,257 --> 00:20:28,393
Sure, we'd have fun, roll around, get in
some erotic humiliation fantasy...
379
00:20:28,719 --> 00:20:30,691
Erotic! Could you just slow...
380
00:20:31,241 --> 00:20:34,154
I'm not fucking asking you out,
I swear to God!
381
00:20:34,526 --> 00:20:36,449
OK, you don't like me like that.
382
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,662
You don't have to be so mean about it.
383
00:20:39,312 --> 00:20:40,759
I'm sorry...
384
00:20:42,581 --> 00:20:44,934
God, you're such a girl!
Come on, it's my treat.
385
00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:47,643
So, was it an easy move?
386
00:20:48,151 --> 00:20:50,854
Sucked leaving my dad, my sister
gave me some shit...
387
00:20:51,457 --> 00:20:53,201
but timing was right.
388
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:56,764
Timing was really right.
389
00:20:56,898 --> 00:20:58,833
-Is that your sister?
-No, my ex.
390
00:20:59,102 --> 00:21:01,228
She's great. Loves John Mayer.
391
00:21:02,343 --> 00:21:03,781
Wants us to stay friends.
392
00:21:05,274 --> 00:21:08,006
She's also convinced she can cure me
of my emotional unavailability.
393
00:21:09,975 --> 00:21:11,662
-You're emotionally unavailable?
-Oh yeah.
394
00:21:12,247 --> 00:21:15,319
Oh my God! I'm emotionally damaged.
I haven't seen you at the meetings.
395
00:21:16,084 --> 00:21:17,659
I'm done with the relationship thing.
396
00:21:17,742 --> 00:21:20,038
Girl, you are preaching to the congregation.
397
00:21:20,191 --> 00:21:21,403
-Choir.
-What?
398
00:21:21,532 --> 00:21:23,553
Preaching to the choir. You're supposed
to preach to the congregation.
399
00:21:23,701 --> 00:21:24,865
That's the expression.
400
00:21:25,031 --> 00:21:27,110
Did you understand what I was saying?
Then don't be a dick about it.
401
00:21:29,146 --> 00:21:31,487
-Oh my God. Do you mind?
-Please.
402
00:21:32,094 --> 00:21:34,760
Hello. You've reached Dylan Harper's
cell phone.
403
00:21:35,143 --> 00:21:37,955
-He's emotionally unavailable but...
-John fucking Mayer!
404
00:21:38,686 --> 00:21:39,676
Hello?
405
00:21:41,656 --> 00:21:43,793
You really do have shitty cell service.
406
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,594
-Right?
-Yeah.
407
00:21:48,024 --> 00:21:49,104
I'm gonna have some friends
over tomorrow.
408
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:51,230
Why don't you come and
you can meet some new people.
409
00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,132
I'm gonna have to check my schedule.
410
00:21:53,212 --> 00:21:54,865
I'm really busy. I work at GQ now.
411
00:21:55,091 --> 00:21:56,530
It's not some little blog on the internet.
412
00:22:00,076 --> 00:22:01,437
Hey, you made it.
413
00:22:02,044 --> 00:22:03,597
-Sorry I'm late.
-No, please come in.
414
00:22:04,655 --> 00:22:06,365
Thank you.
Hey, everybody!
415
00:22:07,041 --> 00:22:09,425
This here is Dylan.
He's from LA.
416
00:22:11,473 --> 00:22:13,273
He's the reason I can afford
all this beer.
417
00:22:19,944 --> 00:22:21,253
Am I an animal?
418
00:22:22,806 --> 00:22:23,773
Yeah.
419
00:22:24,763 --> 00:22:25,990
I'm pretty good at this.
420
00:22:50,681 --> 00:22:53,573
Lt.Kali is a west coast street artist
I got into about 5 years ago.
421
00:22:54,529 --> 00:22:55,642
His post-modern interpretation...
422
00:22:56,014 --> 00:22:57,759
-This shit is amazing!
-I know, right?
423
00:23:20,968 --> 00:23:22,138
I can't do this anymore.
424
00:23:24,186 --> 00:23:26,065
No, I think we both need to go
get happy.
425
00:23:27,122 --> 00:23:28,776
It's not adding up to a hundred anymore.
426
00:23:30,047 --> 00:23:31,521
It's like NY is all out of blueberries.
427
00:23:32,298 --> 00:23:33,681
Goodbye, Brice.
428
00:23:38,373 --> 00:23:40,466
Why do all these movies have
such bad music?
429
00:23:40,983 --> 00:23:42,704
So that you know how to feel
every single second.
430
00:23:43,661 --> 00:23:45,383
"I'm heartbroken".
431
00:23:46,935 --> 00:23:48,803
"I'm getting married to the
man of my dreams".
432
00:23:51,795 --> 00:23:53,482
"I'm sneaking through an office".
433
00:23:57,150 --> 00:23:58,613
Maddison, wait!
434
00:24:03,361 --> 00:24:06,387
Brice! How did you know I was
at Grand Central Station?
435
00:24:07,220 --> 00:24:09,100
You're not. You're in LA.
Where this movie was shot.
436
00:24:09,504 --> 00:24:11,675
I know you better than you know
yourself.
437
00:24:12,992 --> 00:24:14,432
And your crazy friend Suzie across the hall.
438
00:24:15,850 --> 00:24:17,031
Suzie!
439
00:24:18,054 --> 00:24:19,911
-Why are you here?
-To tell you...
440
00:24:21,655 --> 00:24:23,117
I love that sunsets make you cry.
441
00:24:24,164 --> 00:24:26,109
And I don't care that you failed
your real estate exam.
442
00:24:27,415 --> 00:24:29,036
And I'm glad that you have
a 5 date rule.
443
00:24:31,793 --> 00:24:33,897
-I love you.
-Not as much as I love you.
444
00:24:39,327 --> 00:24:41,037
God, I wish my life was a movie sometimes.
445
00:24:42,095 --> 00:24:43,568
I'd never have to worry about
my hair...
446
00:24:43,928 --> 00:24:45,414
or having to go to the bathroom.
447
00:24:45,886 --> 00:24:49,183
And then, when I'm at my lowest point,
some guy would chase me down the street...
448
00:24:49,678 --> 00:24:53,988
pour his heart out and we kiss.
Happily ever after.
449
00:24:56,034 --> 00:24:58,442
I mean, a horse and carriage?
Come on!
450
00:24:58,970 --> 00:25:00,974
That is...awesome.
451
00:25:01,180 --> 00:25:04,709
Not as awesome as this ambiguously upbeat
pop song, that has nothing to do with the plot.
452
00:25:05,249 --> 00:25:09,411
They put it at the end to try to convince you
that you had a great time at this shitty movie.
453
00:25:10,885 --> 00:25:13,203
Why don't they make a movie about what
happens after the big kiss?
454
00:25:13,732 --> 00:25:15,409
They do.
It's called porn.
455
00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:18,717
God, I miss sex.
456
00:25:20,055 --> 00:25:21,844
Sometimes you just need it.
It's like...
457
00:25:23,385 --> 00:25:25,050
like cracking your neck.
458
00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:26,923
Why does it always have to come
with complications?
459
00:25:27,059 --> 00:25:28,933
-And emotions...
-And guilt...
460
00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:30,364
Ugh, guilt.
461
00:25:30,553 --> 00:25:31,881
It's women's fault.
462
00:25:32,056 --> 00:25:33,557
-What?!
-You heard me!
463
00:25:33,838 --> 00:25:36,032
"Hold me! Let's spend the rest
of our lives together".
464
00:25:36,214 --> 00:25:37,686
Please, you're no better!
465
00:25:37,861 --> 00:25:43,683
"Yo, baby. Come on, say my name.
Yeah...oh...I'm done. How was it?"
466
00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:45,563
Who you've been with?
467
00:25:46,607 --> 00:25:49,045
Why can it not be like that?
It's a physical act.
468
00:25:50,187 --> 00:25:52,016
Like playing...tennis.
469
00:25:52,859 --> 00:25:54,547
Two people should be able to have sex
like they're playing tennis.
470
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,507
No one wants to go away for the weekend
after they play tennis.
471
00:25:58,709 --> 00:26:01,129
It's just a game. You shake hands
and get on with your shit.
472
00:26:01,725 --> 00:26:03,086
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
473
00:26:05,215 --> 00:26:06,398
You want more beer?
474
00:26:15,607 --> 00:26:17,085
-Jamie?
-Yeah.
475
00:26:17,136 --> 00:26:18,402
Let's play tennis.
476
00:26:18,529 --> 00:26:20,439
-What?
-Let's have sex like we're playing tennis.
477
00:26:20,587 --> 00:26:22,065
Get the hell outta here!
478
00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:23,565
Don't laugh.
479
00:26:23,824 --> 00:26:25,748
This could be great, this could take
all the weirdness out of it.
480
00:26:26,254 --> 00:26:28,190
We talked about this.
I don't like you like that.
481
00:26:28,582 --> 00:26:30,811
I don't like you like that either.
That's why it's perfect.
482
00:26:31,801 --> 00:26:33,161
I don't even know if I find
you attractive.
483
00:26:33,545 --> 00:26:34,648
That's cute.
484
00:26:35,097 --> 00:26:36,706
I do have a thing for jerks.
485
00:26:37,572 --> 00:26:39,699
-Do you even find me attractive?
-That's cute.
486
00:26:40,081 --> 00:26:42,557
No, no. Before you got to know
my awesome personality...
487
00:26:42,961 --> 00:26:43,962
strictly physical.
488
00:26:44,964 --> 00:26:46,134
First time you saw me.
489
00:26:47,844 --> 00:26:49,601
-This is just two people talking.
-Yeah.
490
00:26:50,341 --> 00:26:52,784
Two girls, over drinks at Bennigans.
Go.
491
00:26:54,628 --> 00:26:57,528
I liked your eyes. I didn't think I'd ever seen
such big beautiful eyes.
492
00:27:00,131 --> 00:27:03,044
Your lips. Thought you might be
a good kisser.
493
00:27:03,584 --> 00:27:04,698
I am.
494
00:27:05,361 --> 00:27:06,711
-Your breasts.
-What about them?
495
00:27:06,763 --> 00:27:07,849
They intrigued me.
496
00:27:08,027 --> 00:27:08,911
-Really?
-Yeah.
497
00:27:09,064 --> 00:27:10,700
I think they're so tiny.
498
00:27:10,865 --> 00:27:12,899
-Still breasts.
-Thanks.
499
00:27:13,128 --> 00:27:14,250
I liked your hands.
500
00:27:14,336 --> 00:27:15,623
-Mouth.
-Butt.
501
00:27:15,647 --> 00:27:16,714
-Voice.
-Chest.
502
00:27:16,871 --> 00:27:17,749
-Eyes.
-You said that.
503
00:27:17,933 --> 00:27:19,650
I meant it.
504
00:27:22,181 --> 00:27:24,296
You swear you don't want anything more
from me other than sex?
505
00:27:24,710 --> 00:27:26,187
You swear you don't want anything more
from me?
506
00:27:27,233 --> 00:27:29,618
I know how you girls get...
507
00:27:31,868 --> 00:27:32,770
What are you doing?
508
00:27:33,511 --> 00:27:35,593
I'm pulling up my Bible app.
509
00:27:36,125 --> 00:27:38,387
-You have a Bible up?
-Yes, I'm a good girl.
510
00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:43,220
I can't figure this out.
511
00:27:46,100 --> 00:27:47,484
Keep your hand still, I'm moving...
512
00:27:50,422 --> 00:27:51,569
There we go.
513
00:27:55,530 --> 00:27:56,373
No relationship.
514
00:27:57,183 --> 00:27:58,162
No emotions.
515
00:27:59,130 --> 00:28:00,130
Just sex.
516
00:28:00,547 --> 00:28:01,425
Whatever happens...
517
00:28:01,943 --> 00:28:02,978
we stay friends.
518
00:28:03,529 --> 00:28:05,205
-Swear.
-Swear.
519
00:28:14,801 --> 00:28:16,879
So, I guess we should just start.
520
00:28:20,598 --> 00:28:23,073
-I'll serve.
-That's enough of the tennis.
521
00:28:23,756 --> 00:28:24,888
Go to the bedroom.
522
00:28:25,362 --> 00:28:26,947
What's wrong with the couch?
It's less emotional.
523
00:28:27,341 --> 00:28:28,567
The bedroom has better light.
524
00:28:28,927 --> 00:28:30,626
And since we're just friends, I don't have to
be insecure about my body.
525
00:28:31,841 --> 00:28:33,232
Come on, OK? You're beautiful.
526
00:28:33,580 --> 00:28:35,155
You have nothing to be insecure about.
527
00:28:37,169 --> 00:28:40,920
You see, that is way too emotion supportive
and you need to just lock that down.
528
00:28:43,113 --> 00:28:44,964
-Your ass is a little boney.
-Much better!
529
00:28:45,576 --> 00:28:47,736
My nipples are sensitive,
I don't like dirty talk...
530
00:28:48,130 --> 00:28:50,369
and had I known this was gonna happen,
I would have shaved my legs this morning.
531
00:28:50,986 --> 00:28:53,360
My chin is ticklish,
I sneeze sometimes after I cum...
532
00:28:53,630 --> 00:28:56,202
and had I known this was gonna happen,
I wouldn't have shaved my legs this morning.
533
00:28:56,643 --> 00:28:58,317
Okie dokie.
534
00:28:59,014 --> 00:29:01,567
Oh. I keep my socks on.
Intimacy issues.
535
00:29:02,231 --> 00:29:03,843
Great, coz feet gross me out.
Daddy issues.
536
00:29:09,038 --> 00:29:10,320
I can work with that.
537
00:29:13,459 --> 00:29:14,461
Should be fine.
538
00:29:17,321 --> 00:29:18,458
I can't believe we're doing this.
539
00:29:19,032 --> 00:29:20,202
Can we stop? We could just
go for a run.
540
00:29:20,584 --> 00:29:21,844
No, we're getting too old for this.
541
00:29:22,553 --> 00:29:24,353
-Sex?
-No, casual sex.
542
00:29:26,345 --> 00:29:27,415
Feels a little college-y.
543
00:29:27,724 --> 00:29:28,781
I can sing some Third Eye Blind.
544
00:29:29,119 --> 00:29:32,886
"Closing time, one last
call for alcohol..."
545
00:29:33,313 --> 00:29:34,721
-That's not Third Eye Blind.
-Pretty sure it's Third Eye Blind.
546
00:29:40,379 --> 00:29:41,831
-What's wrong?
-We're just doing this once.
547
00:29:42,156 --> 00:29:43,191
-I totally agree.
-OK.
548
00:29:44,329 --> 00:29:46,210
-Little faster.
-More circular.
549
00:29:46,373 --> 00:29:47,647
Watch my chin.
550
00:29:47,806 --> 00:29:48,897
Touch my ears.
551
00:29:50,719 --> 00:29:51,664
Kiss my neck.
552
00:29:52,857 --> 00:29:53,958
-Say my name.
-Dylan Francis Harper Jr.
553
00:29:54,353 --> 00:29:56,255
-Not my full name.
-Sorry took a lot of that out of your paperwork.
554
00:29:57,976 --> 00:29:59,539
Oh my God, you really...oh.
555
00:30:07,291 --> 00:30:09,058
-Dylan, I...
-Relax.
556
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:11,444
Just a friend going down
on another friend.
557
00:30:11,625 --> 00:30:14,739
Oh yeah, baby!
Tornado!
558
00:30:17,158 --> 00:30:17,990
What?!
559
00:30:18,305 --> 00:30:20,084
What are you trying to do,
dig your way to China?
560
00:30:20,431 --> 00:30:21,490
-I'm good at this!
-Says who?
561
00:30:21,917 --> 00:30:23,066
Every girl I've been with.
562
00:30:23,369 --> 00:30:25,314
Well, they're either lying
or their vaginas are made out of burlap.
563
00:30:25,743 --> 00:30:27,340
So, relax. You're not a lizard.
564
00:30:27,767 --> 00:30:29,038
-OK fine!
-OK fine!
565
00:30:29,635 --> 00:30:31,435
"So gather up your jackets..."
566
00:30:32,245 --> 00:30:33,347
-A little to the right...
-OK.
567
00:30:33,662 --> 00:30:35,001
-A little bit more to the left.
-Copy that.
568
00:30:35,295 --> 00:30:36,678
-Now, go down...
-Here we go!
569
00:30:37,072 --> 00:30:38,635
-Oh! Too far!
-Sorry!
570
00:30:44,588 --> 00:30:45,532
-What's wrong?
-Nothing!
571
00:30:45,993 --> 00:30:47,420
Women start to scream,
it can be misconstrued.
572
00:30:47,424 --> 00:30:49,077
Just keep going!
573
00:30:57,999 --> 00:30:59,057
Yeah, you know it!
574
00:31:03,828 --> 00:31:05,628
Let me tell you how I like it.
575
00:31:06,325 --> 00:31:09,183
Most girls think you should
start out soft, but if you just get in...
576
00:31:23,911 --> 00:31:25,687
Yeah. You know it.
577
00:31:43,842 --> 00:31:46,047
-Let's go with Obama.
-No, no, no!
578
00:31:46,519 --> 00:31:49,222
It's too easy, too predictable.
Go with Shaun.
579
00:31:49,750 --> 00:31:53,800
He's stylish, trancedant of sport.
Has an ass like a kumquat.
580
00:31:54,836 --> 00:31:56,115
I hear he's kind of a jerk.
581
00:31:56,453 --> 00:31:57,510
No, he's not.
582
00:31:57,893 --> 00:31:59,806
You're just threatened by him because
he's the greatest snow sport athlete...
583
00:32:00,098 --> 00:32:02,600
in the universe and he gets more
squirrel than an oak tree.
584
00:32:03,073 --> 00:32:04,626
Hey, Dylan. Jamie-in the
lobby for you.
585
00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:06,145
OK, thanks.
586
00:32:06,752 --> 00:32:08,147
Let's hit this after lunch,
OK guys?
587
00:32:09,001 --> 00:32:11,016
Nobody wants to fuck Obama, bro.
588
00:32:11,387 --> 00:32:13,884
He's got ears like an elephant. That's not
the part of an elephant you want.
589
00:32:18,373 --> 00:32:19,498
-Hi!
-Hi!
590
00:32:22,877 --> 00:32:25,219
-Sorry to show up like this.
-No, no. It's fine.
591
00:32:30,084 --> 00:32:31,277
-Wanna take a walk?
-Love to.
592
00:32:39,284 --> 00:32:41,331
-OK, so about what happened...
-It was crazy and we shouldn't have done it.
593
00:32:41,781 --> 00:32:44,044
Exactly. No, no! Exactly!
It is so not me.
594
00:32:44,449 --> 00:32:46,124
I totally agree. Let's forget it happened.
595
00:32:46,608 --> 00:32:51,165
Great! Look, I've had one night stands.
We both have had one night stands.
596
00:32:51,592 --> 00:32:53,303
-None of which we're proud of, but...
-Well...
597
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:54,720
Really?
598
00:32:56,037 --> 00:32:59,615
OK, so say that you and I could just have sex
without it compromising anything, but it's just so...
599
00:33:00,356 --> 00:33:01,335
Misguided.
600
00:33:01,609 --> 00:33:02,821
Exactly.
601
00:33:02,834 --> 00:33:04,331
I was gonna call you this morning.
602
00:33:04,492 --> 00:33:06,173
-But you didn't.
-But I didn't.
603
00:33:06,319 --> 00:33:09,673
See, it's already coming between us
and I really just don't want it to.
604
00:33:10,212 --> 00:33:11,203
It's not going to.
605
00:33:11,607 --> 00:33:13,868
I know I act all tough, and I talk
all tough, but really it's...
606
00:33:14,185 --> 00:33:16,321
...it's just a front to protect yourself
from your own vulurnability.
607
00:33:17,368 --> 00:33:19,102
What, you're my fucking therapist now?
608
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:20,758
No, I'm a friend.
609
00:33:21,410 --> 00:33:23,189
Who knows that every time you curse,
you blink.
610
00:33:24,065 --> 00:33:25,405
Like your body is rejecting the word.
611
00:33:25,809 --> 00:33:28,026
-It does not. Fuck you.
-Blinked.
612
00:33:28,487 --> 00:33:29,815
-I didn't fucking blink.
-Blinked again.
613
00:33:30,332 --> 00:33:31,772
-Shit.
-Ah, you didn't blink.
614
00:33:32,171 --> 00:33:33,368
"Shit" you're OK with.
615
00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:35,372
-We were stupid.
-Yes.
616
00:33:35,719 --> 00:33:37,070
-We're friends, let's stay friends.
-Yes, yes.
617
00:33:37,519 --> 00:33:38,926
-I don't wanna lose this.
-Me either.
618
00:33:40,862 --> 00:33:43,112
Portraits for the lovely couple.
619
00:33:50,683 --> 00:33:51,899
-What the hell are we doing?
-I don't know.
620
00:33:54,427 --> 00:33:55,588
Grab my hair.
621
00:33:55,881 --> 00:33:56,905
Kiss my neck.
622
00:33:59,358 --> 00:34:00,539
-Watch my nipple.
-All right.
623
00:34:02,350 --> 00:34:03,621
-I didn't know you had a tatto.
-Yeah.
624
00:34:04,026 --> 00:34:05,445
Why didn't I notice that before?
625
00:34:05,589 --> 00:34:06,624
Because we were drunk.
626
00:34:06,837 --> 00:34:08,348
-Is he your dog?
-No, never had one.
627
00:34:08,977 --> 00:34:11,395
But everyone else did, and I thought
having a dog might get a normal family...
628
00:34:11,699 --> 00:34:13,128
which at 17 I desperately wanted.
629
00:34:13,533 --> 00:34:14,704
So as a sign of rebellion,
you got a tattoo.
630
00:34:15,412 --> 00:34:16,638
The most conventional thing
you could think of.
631
00:34:17,423 --> 00:34:19,351
-It was super awesome back then.
-Check it.
632
00:34:19,772 --> 00:34:21,923
-A lightning bolt?
-18. Wanted super powers.
633
00:34:23,283 --> 00:34:25,220
I was a little into Harry Potter
back then.
634
00:34:25,384 --> 00:34:27,559
-You were also gay back then?
-Harry Potter doesn't make you gay!
635
00:34:28,534 --> 00:34:30,215
-You sure about this?
-Are you?
636
00:34:30,419 --> 00:34:32,307
-No.
-Me either.
637
00:34:36,106 --> 00:34:37,088
How was your day?
638
00:34:37,393 --> 00:34:39,513
It was OK. I had a turkey sandwich
for lunch.
639
00:34:39,962 --> 00:34:41,999
-How was that?
-It wasn't that good. How was your day?
640
00:34:42,136 --> 00:34:44,741
Still trying to figure out
the subway system. It is tricky.
641
00:34:55,056 --> 00:34:56,672
-My butt.
-What?
642
00:34:56,824 --> 00:34:58,558
-Oh, my butt.
-Really?!
643
00:34:58,710 --> 00:35:01,543
No! I mean, my butt is cramping.
Can you grab a pillow?
644
00:35:03,647 --> 00:35:05,498
-So, no butt?
-No.
645
00:35:08,699 --> 00:35:10,083
Really? Already?
646
00:35:10,544 --> 00:35:12,085
Just kidding.
647
00:35:15,829 --> 00:35:17,940
-Do you like this position?
-Yeah, it's all right.
648
00:35:20,636 --> 00:35:22,719
To be honest, I feel a little emasculated.
649
00:35:23,570 --> 00:35:27,067
A naked girl is lying on top of you
and you feel emasculated?
650
00:35:28,617 --> 00:35:29,441
Little bit.
651
00:35:29,653 --> 00:35:30,735
You do know what that word
means, right?
652
00:35:31,119 --> 00:35:32,594
Yeah, I know what it means
and I feel it.
653
00:35:32,848 --> 00:35:35,024
OK, all right.
You big baby.
654
00:35:35,764 --> 00:35:36,991
???? fire drill.
-OK.
655
00:35:42,868 --> 00:35:44,469
-Do you feel manly now?
-I do.
656
00:35:44,759 --> 00:35:46,103
OK, put it in.
657
00:35:47,141 --> 00:35:47,869
That's not funny.
658
00:35:48,555 --> 00:35:49,984
-Yeah, it's funny.
-Kinda funny.
659
00:35:54,586 --> 00:35:55,556
-Hold on.
-What's wrong?
660
00:35:55,692 --> 00:35:57,130
I have to go to the bathroom.
661
00:35:57,238 --> 00:35:59,358
-Now?
-Yes, now. I had a lot of water melon.
662
00:36:10,147 --> 00:36:11,015
What's going on in there?
663
00:36:11,150 --> 00:36:12,686
Do you know how hard it is
to pee with a hard on?
664
00:36:12,839 --> 00:36:15,380
-No, actually.
-It's like two lanes of traffic merging into one.
665
00:36:15,524 --> 00:36:16,650
It takes time.
666
00:36:22,074 --> 00:36:23,469
-Are you pooping?!
-No!
667
00:36:23,941 --> 00:36:25,595
-Why are you sitting down?
-It's easier to control.
668
00:36:25,775 --> 00:36:28,205
-You want a mess in here?
-No, no. Sorry.
669
00:36:47,591 --> 00:36:49,245
-Oh!
-What, did I leak?
670
00:36:49,425 --> 00:36:50,685
Did you wash your hands?
671
00:36:51,314 --> 00:36:53,284
Dude, I know we're just friends
but I'm still a lady.
672
00:36:53,834 --> 00:36:56,659
Get back in there, wash your hands
and then bring that fine ass back here.
673
00:36:57,108 --> 00:36:58,380
You're talking to me like that?
674
00:36:58,662 --> 00:37:00,225
I'm not gonna come back.
675
00:37:04,838 --> 00:37:06,075
My hammies are killing me.
676
00:37:06,211 --> 00:37:07,798
Have a banana, they're in the fridge.
677
00:37:07,938 --> 00:37:09,687
Why do you keep bananas
in the fridge? It drys them out.
678
00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,532
It doesn't. They have a peel.
679
00:37:11,582 --> 00:37:13,174
It's not armor, air still gets in.
680
00:37:13,328 --> 00:37:14,615
Do you want a banana or not?
681
00:37:14,687 --> 00:37:16,370
Not if they're dry,
I'm not an animal.
682
00:37:18,058 --> 00:37:20,770
At least I have food in the house.
All you have at home is drinkable yogourt.
683
00:37:21,635 --> 00:37:23,301
I like to drink my yogourt,
it's a time saver.
684
00:37:23,999 --> 00:37:25,606
You think you could use that time
to shave your stubble.
685
00:37:25,989 --> 00:37:27,295
Your whiskers are like knives.
686
00:37:27,786 --> 00:37:30,814
Now see, if you were my girlfriend,
I couldn't tell you to shut up right now.
687
00:37:31,376 --> 00:37:35,134
And because you're just my buddy, I can tell you
that if you don't start shaving up here...
688
00:37:35,742 --> 00:37:38,277
I'm gonna stop shaving...down there.
689
00:37:44,250 --> 00:37:45,240
Mom!
690
00:37:47,163 --> 00:37:49,088
My eyes are covered.
I don't know what you're doing.
691
00:37:49,796 --> 00:37:51,573
I can't see you putting on
your black underpants.
692
00:37:52,338 --> 00:37:54,027
Jamie baby, I've missed you.
693
00:37:55,669 --> 00:37:56,602
Did your boobs get bigger?
694
00:37:57,142 --> 00:37:58,177
Mom, I'm over here.
695
00:37:59,022 --> 00:38:00,745
Oh hey baby,
No, they didn't.
696
00:38:01,341 --> 00:38:02,116
What are you doing here?
697
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,333
Victor turned out to be
a total lombard.
698
00:38:04,771 --> 00:38:07,765
L.O.M.B.A.R.D.
Lots of money but a real dullard.
699
00:38:08,282 --> 00:38:09,452
Victor, her fiancee.
700
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,589
-Ex fiancee.
-What happened?
701
00:38:11,994 --> 00:38:14,560
Nothing, he was just blah.
I mean, nice, but it was like talking to dirt.
702
00:38:15,011 --> 00:38:17,451
I woke up one day and I said
"Lorna", I'm Lorna.
703
00:38:18,611 --> 00:38:20,691
-Dylan.
-I said "Lorna, this is not your bliss".
704
00:38:21,625 --> 00:38:23,178
-Just because you're 39...
-48.
705
00:38:23,493 --> 00:38:25,833
...it doesn't mean you have to settle.
He's not an insurance claim...
706
00:38:26,104 --> 00:38:27,589
so I got the first plane off the island.
707
00:38:27,982 --> 00:38:29,247
Cleveland is not an island.
708
00:38:29,584 --> 00:38:30,946
Oh, baby, it is.
709
00:38:31,317 --> 00:38:35,090
Anyway, here I am. So good to see you.
You never told me you had a hot boyfriend.
710
00:38:35,518 --> 00:38:36,834
He's not my boyfriend, mom.
711
00:38:37,352 --> 00:38:38,353
That's right, we're just friends.
712
00:38:38,724 --> 00:38:41,447
Oh, I love it. It's like the '70s in here.
713
00:38:42,572 --> 00:38:45,611
That was a better time. Just sex.
A little grass, a little glue...
714
00:38:46,566 --> 00:38:49,232
Not during pregnency...
well, not during the final trimester.
715
00:38:49,649 --> 00:38:51,595
But no complications. Great!
716
00:38:53,114 --> 00:38:54,869
Well, that's technically I guess
what this is.
717
00:38:55,555 --> 00:38:56,807
That's exactly what this is.
718
00:38:57,223 --> 00:38:58,809
So my daughter is just your slam piece.
719
00:38:59,102 --> 00:39:00,384
No! Slam piece?
720
00:39:00,992 --> 00:39:02,713
Just kidding. Slam away.
721
00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:05,503
I think this is great. The only thing is it
takes you off the market...
722
00:39:06,111 --> 00:39:08,866
but what the hell? The whole reason you
go to the market is to buy the produce...
723
00:39:09,181 --> 00:39:10,700
which you already got.
724
00:39:12,219 --> 00:39:13,355
It's so good to see you, baby.
725
00:39:14,244 --> 00:39:15,808
I'm only gonna be here a few weeks.
726
00:39:16,258 --> 00:39:17,540
I'm starving. You got any gin?
727
00:39:17,966 --> 00:39:19,710
In the kitchen.
728
00:39:20,587 --> 00:39:21,667
You gotta go.
729
00:39:22,534 --> 00:39:24,323
-Was she wearing AXE body spray?
-I don't know.
730
00:39:24,819 --> 00:39:26,528
Bananas in the refridgerator?
What are you, Puerto Rican?
731
00:39:27,271 --> 00:39:28,497
That is terrible, mother!
732
00:39:28,868 --> 00:39:30,298
Just joking. Your dad was Puerto Rican.
733
00:39:30,803 --> 00:39:32,345
What? You said that he was Greek.
734
00:39:32,682 --> 00:39:33,965
Potato, potato.
735
00:39:36,248 --> 00:39:36,980
Just go.
736
00:39:37,352 --> 00:39:38,960
Just put these on on the bike?
OK.
737
00:39:39,965 --> 00:39:41,990
It was nice to have met you...
and your pants are coming off.
738
00:39:42,485 --> 00:39:43,723
Mom, please!
739
00:39:51,341 --> 00:39:53,005
That's what I'm talking about!
740
00:39:54,119 --> 00:39:55,605
We're kicking every gay ass out here.
741
00:39:56,459 --> 00:39:58,327
I don't say it out of joy,
I say it hopefully.
742
00:39:58,943 --> 00:40:00,431
Any of you gay?
743
00:40:00,551 --> 00:40:02,198
-Not even you?
-Come on, man.
744
00:40:02,361 --> 00:40:05,434
Come talk to me after. Give me 5 minutes
of your time. I might be able to let you see some reason.
745
00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:17,476
I'm supposed to meet up with Jamie.
746
00:40:17,903 --> 00:40:19,181
Who's that, that head hunter?
747
00:40:19,801 --> 00:40:21,039
You guys going out now?
748
00:40:21,444 --> 00:40:23,490
No, no. We're just friends.
We're messing around a little bit.
749
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,461
-What do you mean?
-Sleeping together. But it's just sex.
750
00:40:27,586 --> 00:40:30,646
It never works, bro. She's a girl.
Sex always means more to them...
751
00:40:31,051 --> 00:40:32,830
-...even if the don't admit it.
-Jamie's different.
752
00:40:33,267 --> 00:40:35,698
Does she have a penis where
most girls have a vagina?
753
00:40:36,115 --> 00:40:37,880
-No penis.
-Then she's no different.
754
00:40:38,263 --> 00:40:39,500
What do you know about women anyway?
755
00:40:40,064 --> 00:40:41,954
Dude, I've turned down more tail
than you'll ever have.
756
00:40:42,302 --> 00:40:43,608
Yeah, bro. You're gay.
757
00:40:44,113 --> 00:40:46,915
But the offers still keep rolling in, naturally.
Look at me.
758
00:40:47,410 --> 00:40:49,277
And hey, I love women.
They're beautiful.
759
00:40:49,671 --> 00:40:52,720
Majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures.
760
00:40:53,260 --> 00:40:56,445
Smart, empathetic, far superior than men
in every way.
761
00:40:57,289 --> 00:41:00,202
If I had a choice, I would be with women
to my dying day.
762
00:41:00,923 --> 00:41:03,645
But me likes cock, so I'm strictly dickly.
763
00:41:04,961 --> 00:41:06,806
So, it's always just about sex then?
764
00:41:07,256 --> 00:41:09,968
No, I've been in a lot of...
I've been down that rabbit hole.
765
00:41:10,721 --> 00:41:11,903
You know what I discovered?
766
00:41:12,589 --> 00:41:16,504
It's not who you want to spend Friday night with,
it's who you want to spend all day Saturday with.
767
00:41:19,013 --> 00:41:21,346
But then it's every Saturday for
the rest of your life.
768
00:41:22,029 --> 00:41:24,133
It's OK, you don't get it.
It's no big deal.
769
00:41:24,887 --> 00:41:25,776
But you will.
770
00:41:26,282 --> 00:41:29,590
One day you'll meet someone and it will
literally take your breath away.
771
00:41:30,141 --> 00:41:34,765
Like, you can't breathe.
Like, no oxygen to the lungs. Like a fish...
772
00:41:35,046 --> 00:41:36,734
Yeah, I get it Tommy.
773
00:41:38,590 --> 00:41:40,423
Nice work on that new online site, by the way.
774
00:41:41,201 --> 00:41:42,483
What's the font on that headline?
775
00:41:43,034 --> 00:41:44,171
New Times Roman?
776
00:41:44,597 --> 00:41:46,569
New Times Roman. Inspired.
I'm out.
777
00:41:52,746 --> 00:41:53,768
You have a boat?!
778
00:41:54,149 --> 00:41:56,522
I live in Jersey. And I ain't taking no ferry.
779
00:41:57,366 --> 00:41:59,336
Unless it's after dinner and a show.
780
00:42:15,132 --> 00:42:18,496
Hey. You and that Dylan.
Way to go.
781
00:42:19,058 --> 00:42:22,344
I mean the whole friendship-sex thing.
Kudos, baby.
782
00:42:24,122 --> 00:42:25,561
It's not that big of a deal.
783
00:42:26,011 --> 00:42:28,828
It's just surprising. I always thought you
were true love kinda girl.
784
00:42:30,189 --> 00:42:32,582
Whatever, mom. It's not like
it's stopping me from anything.
785
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:34,644
That's what I thought back in '78.
786
00:42:35,376 --> 00:42:36,602
Amd every year since.
787
00:42:37,243 --> 00:42:40,628
I'm flattered actually.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
788
00:42:42,169 --> 00:42:43,362
It's just surprising.
789
00:42:45,207 --> 00:42:46,197
There. Done.
790
00:42:49,416 --> 00:42:51,940
You look great. You look like
a princess.
791
00:42:52,581 --> 00:42:54,763
-Really?
-Yeah.
792
00:42:56,203 --> 00:43:00,393
My friend gave me his house is Montague
for July 4th. Let's go away together.
793
00:43:01,232 --> 00:43:03,257
No men, no bullshit.
Just mother daughter.
794
00:43:03,673 --> 00:43:05,112
Like a Nora Efron movie.
795
00:43:05,742 --> 00:43:08,117
When was the last time we spent
a full weekend together?
796
00:43:08,613 --> 00:43:10,818
When I was 8, that time in Vermont.
We got snowed in with that ski instructor.
797
00:43:11,302 --> 00:43:12,584
-Demetri.
-Bill.
798
00:43:12,934 --> 00:43:14,069
He reminded me a lot of your father.
799
00:43:14,485 --> 00:43:17,074
Dark curls, olive skin.
Cold War accent.
800
00:43:17,423 --> 00:43:18,503
My father was Russian?
801
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,223
I don't remember. But what I do remember
is that we drank a lot of vodka and shot a lot of guns.
802
00:43:22,853 --> 00:43:25,418
Mom, this "Who's your daddy" game
is getting really old.
803
00:43:25,925 --> 00:43:28,107
I know I haven't been the
best mother in the world...
804
00:43:31,269 --> 00:43:32,968
I'm sorry. Were you waiting for me
to jump in?
805
00:43:33,586 --> 00:43:35,319
Come on! Go away with me.
806
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:38,008
Come on.
807
00:43:39,121 --> 00:43:41,192
OK, we'll do it.
It'll be fun.
808
00:43:48,810 --> 00:43:51,770
I was trying to bond. It was either this,
or sniff glue.
809
00:43:57,747 --> 00:43:59,052
Sorry about my mom.
810
00:43:59,457 --> 00:44:00,424
I thought she was funny.
811
00:44:00,931 --> 00:44:02,525
She's really funny when
she's asking for money...
812
00:44:02,885 --> 00:44:04,832
and she's hilarious when
she needs a place to stay.
813
00:44:10,288 --> 00:44:12,741
Dylan I...I think I want to
start dating again.
814
00:44:15,497 --> 00:44:16,836
I think we should stop this.
815
00:44:21,876 --> 00:44:23,407
-I kinda think you're right.
-Right?
816
00:44:24,228 --> 00:44:29,043
"Every new beginning comes from
some other beginning's end".
817
00:44:29,910 --> 00:44:31,248
That actually makes sense right here.
818
00:44:31,642 --> 00:44:33,073
Who'd have thought Third Eye Blid
could be so prophetic?
819
00:44:33,487 --> 00:44:35,821
-It's not Third Eye Blind.
-I'm pretty sure it's Third Eye Blind.
820
00:44:35,821 --> 00:44:37,270
Do you wanna go grab some lunch?
821
00:44:37,432 --> 00:44:38,547
-Yes.
-OK.
822
00:44:38,681 --> 00:44:40,544
-You're buying.
-What?
823
00:44:45,627 --> 00:44:46,572
-Pants.
-Shirt.
824
00:44:47,596 --> 00:44:48,586
So this is the end of this.
825
00:44:48,935 --> 00:44:50,127
I guess so. But it's good.
826
00:44:50,487 --> 00:44:51,747
-Yeah, we did it.
-With no bullshit.
827
00:44:52,186 --> 00:44:53,446
-Shirt.
-Sweater.
828
00:44:53,997 --> 00:44:55,607
We managed to actually
stay friends.
829
00:45:01,108 --> 00:45:02,537
OK, so what is your type anyway?
830
00:45:03,291 --> 00:45:06,317
I don't have a type. What matters
it's what's inside.
831
00:45:06,711 --> 00:45:08,691
Please!
OK what about her?
832
00:45:09,832 --> 00:45:11,339
Yeah, I could get to know her inside.
833
00:45:12,003 --> 00:45:12,781
And she's reading a book.
834
00:45:13,387 --> 00:45:14,702
It's probably Nicholas Sparks.
835
00:45:15,412 --> 00:45:16,627
-I'm gonna go talk to her.
-What?
836
00:45:17,561 --> 00:45:19,304
What do you mean "what"?
You said you wanted to date again.
837
00:45:19,564 --> 00:45:20,621
I'm gonna go talk to her.
838
00:45:20,970 --> 00:45:22,400
Now? Here? In front of all these people?
839
00:45:22,759 --> 00:45:24,683
It's not like I'm gonna rape her.
I'm just gonna go talk to her.
840
00:45:44,457 --> 00:45:45,706
-Well?
-We talked.
841
00:45:47,945 --> 00:45:49,171
She's Belgian.
842
00:45:49,891 --> 00:45:50,903
Hence the reading.
843
00:45:51,275 --> 00:45:53,447
I showed her where the balcony was
but that's where she's meeting up with her...
844
00:45:54,043 --> 00:45:55,000
...husband.
845
00:45:56,067 --> 00:45:57,316
Anniversary trip to NY.
846
00:45:57,946 --> 00:46:00,253
3 kids. Kristof, Karlina and Pekin.
847
00:46:01,660 --> 00:46:02,752
Shut up.
848
00:46:04,034 --> 00:46:05,373
Why are you still laughing?
849
00:46:05,969 --> 00:46:07,095
At least I gave it a shot.
850
00:46:07,522 --> 00:46:09,031
Fine. I'll go next.
851
00:46:09,795 --> 00:46:11,010
See if I still have game.
852
00:46:11,629 --> 00:46:15,299
OK, right here. 11 o'clock. Ice coffee.
853
00:46:16,177 --> 00:46:17,392
Handsome, but doesn't know it.
854
00:46:18,124 --> 00:46:20,688
Staring at a tree which means he's actually
at the park for nature...
855
00:46:21,048 --> 00:46:22,545
and not to watch women sunbathe.
856
00:46:23,028 --> 00:46:24,963
-Or he's retarted.
-Don't care. I'm going in.
857
00:46:31,983 --> 00:46:32,895
Excuse me...
858
00:46:51,501 --> 00:46:52,806
OK his name is Parker...
859
00:46:53,785 --> 00:46:55,992
he's a children's oncologist...
860
00:46:57,194 --> 00:46:59,185
and I have a date this Saturday.
861
00:46:59,871 --> 00:47:01,300
-Nice.
-Thank you.
862
00:47:01,829 --> 00:47:03,245
Why did you wave to me?
863
00:47:04,225 --> 00:47:08,455
I told him you are my gay best friend
so he wants to set you up with his brother.
864
00:47:11,403 --> 00:47:14,407
College, med school
and I haven't slept since.
865
00:47:16,230 --> 00:47:17,321
You actually cure cancer.
866
00:47:17,708 --> 00:47:19,665
Well...
Me and God.
867
00:47:20,229 --> 00:47:21,387
What?
868
00:47:21,758 --> 00:47:24,537
I'm kidding. Can you imagine
someone would actually say that?
869
00:47:24,898 --> 00:47:26,607
Yeah, I could. I've been out
with a lot of them.
870
00:47:26,978 --> 00:47:28,622
-Cancer doctors?
-No, assholes.
871
00:47:30,073 --> 00:47:31,604
Hopefully you're all done with that.
872
00:47:32,559 --> 00:47:35,675
Although I gotta warn you. Lot of
cancer doctors, big assholes.
873
00:47:36,260 --> 00:47:37,273
-Really!
-Yeah.
874
00:47:37,735 --> 00:47:39,602
Oh and brain surgeons,
huge perverts.
875
00:47:40,288 --> 00:47:42,415
They're doing this,
and a little bit of that.
876
00:47:48,299 --> 00:47:49,806
When can I see you again?
877
00:47:52,461 --> 00:47:54,352
Right now.
878
00:47:55,435 --> 00:47:56,999
I'm just kidding.
879
00:47:57,381 --> 00:47:59,148
Can you imagine
someone would actually say that?
880
00:47:59,912 --> 00:48:02,927
I played the tuba in high school.
World's stupidest instrument.
881
00:48:03,445 --> 00:48:05,335
Especially when you move 8 times.
882
00:48:05,785 --> 00:48:06,854
Why did you move?
883
00:48:07,294 --> 00:48:10,241
My mom really likes to break up
with guys and she's really good at it.
884
00:48:10,634 --> 00:48:12,974
-Was your dad one of them?
-He was long before that.
885
00:48:13,278 --> 00:48:14,607
I actually never knew my dad.
886
00:48:15,012 --> 00:48:16,677
Sorry. That sucks.
887
00:48:18,847 --> 00:48:21,053
All right look, I think I should probably
tell you something.
888
00:48:21,424 --> 00:48:22,808
Please don't tell me you're a dude.
889
00:48:23,213 --> 00:48:25,024
Because that would be the 3d time
since I moved here...
890
00:48:25,238 --> 00:48:26,453
and I don't think I can handle that.
891
00:48:26,825 --> 00:48:28,422
I have a 5 date rule.
892
00:48:28,827 --> 00:48:30,391
You know, like 5 dates before we...
893
00:48:31,286 --> 00:48:33,987
I saw it in a movie,
thought I'd give it a try.
894
00:48:35,044 --> 00:48:36,619
You're worth waiting for.
895
00:48:37,307 --> 00:48:39,004
I'm sure that was the line
in the movie, so...
896
00:48:41,233 --> 00:48:45,316
Awesome. This 4 year old I've been working on
for the last couple of months, he's gonna be fine.
897
00:48:46,025 --> 00:48:47,206
That's great!
898
00:48:48,106 --> 00:48:49,524
How is a guy like you single?
899
00:48:49,906 --> 00:48:52,370
I just been waiting for someone
to come up to me in the park...
900
00:48:52,618 --> 00:48:55,004
compliment me for looking at
the trees and not sunbathers.
901
00:48:55,374 --> 00:48:56,702
I meant it, it was impressive.
902
00:48:57,017 --> 00:48:58,491
Actually if I'm gonna be completely
hosnest with you...
903
00:48:58,738 --> 00:49:00,347
I was sleeping standing up.
904
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,204
I worked 36 hours straight.
905
00:49:02,462 --> 00:49:03,981
I don't even know how I got
to the park.
906
00:49:04,307 --> 00:49:05,883
How is a girl like you single?
907
00:49:07,075 --> 00:49:07,975
I have issues.
908
00:49:08,663 --> 00:49:10,114
One might even call me damaged.
909
00:49:10,485 --> 00:49:11,920
Actually, one did call me damaged.
910
00:49:12,212 --> 00:49:13,641
Get outta here!
Damaged how?
911
00:49:13,855 --> 00:49:15,408
I kinda believe in true love.
912
00:49:15,690 --> 00:49:17,961
That there might be a Prince Charming
out there for me.
913
00:49:23,092 --> 00:49:27,491
Listen, I know this is probably a "no"
coz all you do is work like a dull boy...
914
00:49:28,098 --> 00:49:30,225
but if you like to come get a beer...
915
00:49:30,889 --> 00:49:33,050
-Nah, I'm good.
-It's not a gay bar.
916
00:49:33,319 --> 00:49:35,636
There just as many hot girls
as hot guys.
917
00:49:39,102 --> 00:49:40,620
You know what? I will come out.
918
00:49:41,419 --> 00:49:43,445
All right. Let's find you a lady.
919
00:49:44,841 --> 00:49:46,551
-Still not gay right?
-Nope.
920
00:49:52,885 --> 00:49:54,595
-What?
-Do you know what today is?
921
00:49:55,538 --> 00:49:57,136
Date no.5.
922
00:49:57,496 --> 00:49:59,386
I wasn't even counting.
923
00:50:02,804 --> 00:50:05,124
-Wanna go to the bedroom?
-No, here's fine.
924
00:50:11,905 --> 00:50:13,785
So glad I met you.
925
00:50:14,741 --> 00:50:16,687
You too.
926
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:21,272
What are you thinking?
927
00:50:22,195 --> 00:50:24,410
Just...how great you are.
928
00:50:34,964 --> 00:50:35,999
Annie, hey.
929
00:50:36,674 --> 00:50:38,171
Who the fuck is Annie?
930
00:50:39,195 --> 00:50:40,005
My sister.
931
00:50:40,691 --> 00:50:42,255
Better be.
I'll cut her.
932
00:50:44,988 --> 00:50:46,226
Of course I'm coming.
933
00:50:46,541 --> 00:50:49,095
Yeah, I'm taking the 4th off,
so I'll be there for 3 days.
934
00:51:01,042 --> 00:51:02,348
How's dad?
935
00:51:02,842 --> 00:51:04,293
Any worse?
936
00:51:04,923 --> 00:51:06,590
Tell him I said hi.
937
00:51:07,277 --> 00:51:08,581
Bye, Banannie.
938
00:51:11,991 --> 00:51:14,218
I want you to meet my parents.
939
00:51:14,972 --> 00:51:17,087
No...you...really?
940
00:51:23,347 --> 00:51:25,204
God!
941
00:51:42,368 --> 00:51:43,583
Hey, hold on.
942
00:51:45,507 --> 00:51:47,532
Hold on, just give me a second.
943
00:51:48,162 --> 00:51:49,906
I'm gonna find a place to talk.
944
00:51:52,938 --> 00:51:53,791
Shit!
945
00:51:54,250 --> 00:51:56,006
-Sorry.
-Hold on.
946
00:51:56,133 --> 00:51:57,763
I was out pretty late last night.
947
00:51:57,905 --> 00:52:00,599
When I got in, you and your girlfriend
were on the couch...
948
00:52:00,734 --> 00:52:02,263
so I just crushed in your bed.
949
00:52:02,411 --> 00:52:04,239
-He's not a girl.
-He smells like a girl.
950
00:52:04,383 --> 00:52:06,105
-You smelled him?
-I want to buy marshmellows.
951
00:52:06,291 --> 00:52:08,428
-What did you say?
-For Montague this weekend.
952
00:52:08,540 --> 00:52:11,474
I want to do a camp fire.
Like when you were little.
953
00:52:11,618 --> 00:52:14,188
-OK.
-And then we're gonna look for sticks.
954
00:52:14,366 --> 00:52:16,123
I hear you, sticks.
955
00:52:16,506 --> 00:52:18,058
And then we're gonna sing.
956
00:52:30,722 --> 00:52:31,555
What's up?
957
00:52:31,710 --> 00:52:35,721
Do you think guys care more about global
warming or how to wear white pants to a cookout?
958
00:52:36,185 --> 00:52:39,858
That depends. Do you have a
hot model in a bikini sitting in an ice cap?
959
00:52:40,027 --> 00:52:41,878
No. Ski slope.
960
00:52:42,062 --> 00:52:44,178
I'd still go with pants to a cookout.
961
00:52:44,651 --> 00:52:45,945
Me too.
962
00:52:46,305 --> 00:52:48,492
How's your boy Parker?
Still staring at trees?
963
00:52:48,769 --> 00:52:52,725
Yeah, he still looking up at trees but this
time it's actually in my apartment.
964
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:54,559
-5th date already?
-Maybe.
965
00:52:55,321 --> 00:52:57,057
Did you guys...
966
00:52:57,250 --> 00:52:58,544
5th date?
967
00:52:58,758 --> 00:53:01,699
-How dare you? A lady never tells.
-I know, that's why I'm asking you.
968
00:53:05,311 --> 00:53:08,056
Hey, I gotta go. You have a great
trip in LA and call me when you land.
969
00:53:09,316 --> 00:53:10,688
Parker!
970
00:53:14,030 --> 00:53:16,651
I got us coffees. Non fat,
one sugar.
971
00:53:17,214 --> 00:53:18,541
I gotta get going.
972
00:53:18,857 --> 00:53:20,512
What? I thought you weren't
on call today.
973
00:53:20,826 --> 00:53:22,255
I'm not, but I got that thing...
974
00:53:23,966 --> 00:53:25,360
They just called me.
975
00:53:26,665 --> 00:53:28,410
-Really?
-Yeah.
976
00:53:28,939 --> 00:53:32,077
The sneak out. How incredibly cliche of you.
977
00:53:32,213 --> 00:53:33,540
I just...
978
00:53:34,228 --> 00:53:36,408
I don't think I can be your
Prince Charming.
979
00:53:36,501 --> 00:53:39,007
You totally didn't get anything
that I was saying, did you?
980
00:53:39,502 --> 00:53:41,500
-No, no. I think you're great.
-You too.
981
00:53:42,050 --> 00:53:44,181
You know, you and I should
stay friends.
982
00:53:44,346 --> 00:53:46,815
-Really?
-No. Go fuck yourself!
983
00:53:57,057 --> 00:53:58,421
Who sleeps standing up?
984
00:53:58,565 --> 00:53:59,871
You know, you'd be really proud of me.
985
00:53:59,997 --> 00:54:02,013
I didn't even blink when I told him
to go fuck himself.
986
00:54:02,180 --> 00:54:05,078
-You did just then, though.
-This doesn't count. I'm not in the moment.
987
00:54:06,214 --> 00:54:07,596
Maybe I suck in bed.
988
00:54:07,922 --> 00:54:09,486
Trust me, you don't suck in bed.
989
00:54:09,790 --> 00:54:11,220
-Thank you.
-So needy.
990
00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:13,264
Hey, maybe the guy's married
or something.
991
00:54:13,558 --> 00:54:14,874
No. Did a background check at work.
992
00:54:15,178 --> 00:54:17,562
Single, no criminal history,
credit report 7020.
993
00:54:18,204 --> 00:54:19,683
Background check.
Did you do one on me?
994
00:54:20,065 --> 00:54:21,719
How could you possibly max out
an Old Navy card?
995
00:54:22,079 --> 00:54:24,183
After college I was
really into cargo pants.
996
00:54:25,668 --> 00:54:28,549
I got to stop thinking it's not me.
It's gotta be me.
997
00:54:28,864 --> 00:54:30,866
It's not you. Nothing
is wrong with you.
998
00:54:31,215 --> 00:54:33,881
He's a guy. You gave him a
5 date challenge, he got it and cut out.
999
00:54:34,534 --> 00:54:36,323
Forget the douche.
He's a dick.
1000
00:54:36,863 --> 00:54:38,539
He's a dick douche.
1001
00:54:39,091 --> 00:54:40,711
Go have fun with your mom.
1002
00:54:41,656 --> 00:54:43,872
Almost forgot.
I got you something.
1003
00:54:51,187 --> 00:54:53,235
It's Lt. Kali, the street artist
we talked about.
1004
00:54:53,718 --> 00:54:55,923
I got him to do something for you.
FTALE. Fairytale.
1005
00:54:56,857 --> 00:54:58,635
I know you're into that
girly shit.
1006
00:54:58,995 --> 00:55:00,334
This is so cool.
1007
00:55:01,268 --> 00:55:03,101
It's actually really sweet.
1008
00:55:03,495 --> 00:55:05,025
-It's cool, right?
-Yeah. Thank you.
1009
00:55:06,706 --> 00:55:08,506
I'm gonna need to borrow
cab fare.
1010
00:55:09,182 --> 00:55:11,217
I'm not taking that thing
in the subway. I don't wanna get rolled.
1011
00:55:11,768 --> 00:55:14,569
No problem. As long as you get your
feet off my bed. They're disgusting.
1012
00:55:17,484 --> 00:55:19,138
What are you doing?
Why you're doing that?
1013
00:55:28,375 --> 00:55:30,321
Mom come on, we gotta
get on the road.
1014
00:55:32,459 --> 00:55:33,606
Mom?
1015
00:55:51,419 --> 00:55:53,275
Why did I think this time
would be any different?
1016
00:55:53,759 --> 00:55:55,086
-Come with me to LA.
-What?
1017
00:55:55,379 --> 00:55:56,819
What else are you gonna do?
It's 4th of July.
1018
00:55:57,100 --> 00:55:58,158
Everybody's left the city.
1019
00:55:58,439 --> 00:55:59,666
You're very sweet for asking
but it's fine.
1020
00:55:59,913 --> 00:56:01,252
You know what, I'll just stay here.
I'll be fine alone.
1021
00:56:01,511 --> 00:56:03,491
I know you'll be fine alone,
you're not a baby in a hot car.
1022
00:56:04,245 --> 00:56:05,910
I'm actually asking you to come
because it will help me.
1023
00:56:06,236 --> 00:56:07,811
You'd be a great distraction
for my family.
1024
00:56:08,070 --> 00:56:10,196
They'll forget all about drilling me
for being single.
1025
00:56:10,556 --> 00:56:11,749
Won't they think we're together?
1026
00:56:11,996 --> 00:56:13,043
Not if I told them we're not.
1027
00:56:13,335 --> 00:56:14,449
-And they'll believe you?
-Yeah. We're one of these...
1028
00:56:14,639 --> 00:56:17,382
crazy families that doesn't lie to each other.
PBS is doing a documentary on us.
1029
00:56:17,890 --> 00:56:20,983
Come on, they'll love you. All fast talking and brass,
it's like I'm bringing home a carnie.
1030
00:56:21,330 --> 00:56:24,176
You're really nice to ask
but I'm just gonna stay here.
1031
00:56:24,796 --> 00:56:25,920
Go to the gym.
1032
00:56:26,235 --> 00:56:28,384
I just got you a ticket with
my miles. It's done. Meet me at JFK.
1033
00:56:28,614 --> 00:56:29,948
-But...
-No buts!
1034
00:56:30,087 --> 00:56:31,489
Like you were gonna
go to the gym.
1035
00:56:31,861 --> 00:56:33,267
I wasn't.
1036
00:56:45,868 --> 00:56:47,196
LA is so nice.
1037
00:56:47,882 --> 00:56:49,827
And everyone is so genuine
and level headed.
1038
00:56:51,391 --> 00:56:52,618
Thanks for this.
1039
00:56:52,911 --> 00:56:54,149
You're good peeps.
1040
00:56:54,486 --> 00:56:56,117
You're the good peeps, dude.
1041
00:56:56,410 --> 00:56:58,076
You haven't met my family,
you don't know what you're in for.
1042
00:57:01,456 --> 00:57:03,132
You know these planes
pretty much land themselves?
1043
00:57:03,358 --> 00:57:05,045
Nobody cares, you sound
like an asshole.
1044
00:57:07,419 --> 00:57:08,635
She's from NY.
1045
00:57:09,163 --> 00:57:10,547
I'm sorry.
1046
00:57:20,863 --> 00:57:22,753
Wow. This looks normal.
1047
00:57:23,350 --> 00:57:24,645
It is.
1048
00:57:30,235 --> 00:57:31,428
You grew up here?
1049
00:57:32,429 --> 00:57:33,937
It was my grandfather's.
1050
00:57:34,465 --> 00:57:36,063
He bought it when there
was nothing else here.
1051
00:57:36,434 --> 00:57:38,234
My dad, my sister and her son
live here now.
1052
00:57:39,663 --> 00:57:41,171
Why would you move to NY?
1053
00:57:41,565 --> 00:57:43,230
I was conned by some head hunter.
1054
00:57:44,445 --> 00:57:45,773
-You're here!
-Sammy!
1055
00:57:46,234 --> 00:57:48,045
-Uncle Dylan!
-What's up, buddy?
1056
00:57:49,924 --> 00:57:52,253
Jamie, this is my nephew.
Sam, the magnificent.
1057
00:57:52,831 --> 00:57:55,115
-Hello.
-May I offer you a light for your cigarette?
1058
00:57:55,476 --> 00:57:57,096
I'm sorry, I don't smoke.
1059
00:57:57,354 --> 00:57:58,962
Just pretend, he's a magician.
1060
00:57:59,356 --> 00:58:02,226
Of course I'll have a cigarette.
Smoking is great for you.
1061
00:58:06,299 --> 00:58:08,673
-Thank you, good sir.
-My pleasure, my lady.
1062
00:58:15,256 --> 00:58:16,820
All part of the illusion.
1063
00:58:17,382 --> 00:58:19,014
-Jet skis later?
-Definitely.
1064
00:58:19,701 --> 00:58:20,927
-Still into magic, uh?
-Yeah.
1065
00:58:21,298 --> 00:58:23,515
But I'll take that over him sexting
his friends any day.
1066
00:58:27,752 --> 00:58:29,980
Jamie, this is my sister Annie.
1067
00:58:30,464 --> 00:58:32,050
Thank you for having me.
1068
00:58:32,110 --> 00:58:33,883
It's nice to have Dylan
bring a girl home.
1069
00:58:33,915 --> 00:58:35,357
-We're just friends.
-No, I know.
1070
00:58:35,537 --> 00:58:37,082
If you were his girlfriend, he never
would have brought you here.
1071
00:58:37,245 --> 00:58:39,035
-This one has intimacy issues.
-I know.
1072
00:58:39,683 --> 00:58:41,838
-Dylan.
-Dad!
1073
00:58:43,358 --> 00:58:44,778
-How you doing, buddy?
-I'm good.
1074
00:58:45,239 --> 00:58:46,701
I miss you guys,
but I'm good.
1075
00:58:48,126 --> 00:58:49,627
Didi Spencer?
1076
00:58:49,810 --> 00:58:51,674
Jamie. Dylan's friend.
1077
00:58:53,711 --> 00:58:54,993
I'm sorry.
1078
00:58:55,331 --> 00:58:57,165
For a minute you reminded me
of a girl I used to know.
1079
00:58:57,558 --> 00:58:59,145
No, that's OK.
It happens.
1080
00:58:59,299 --> 00:59:01,500
-Nice to meet you.
-Pleasure meeting you. You have a beautiful house.
1081
00:59:01,741 --> 00:59:05,602
Thank you. Pool's a little cold.
But it's very expensive to heat.
1082
00:59:07,345 --> 00:59:08,988
I think I'm gonna in and
check the tide tables.
1083
00:59:09,291 --> 00:59:11,092
I'm taking the boat out early
in the morning. You should come.
1084
00:59:11,417 --> 00:59:12,690
Oh, I would love to.
1085
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,041
We sold the boat. The doctor doesn't
want you driving the boat anymore.
1086
00:59:18,137 --> 00:59:19,687
It's turned into mush.
1087
00:59:21,496 --> 00:59:22,994
It's good to see you, buddy.
1088
00:59:23,737 --> 00:59:25,560
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice meeting you, too.
1089
00:59:25,976 --> 00:59:27,618
-Jamie.
-Yes.
1090
00:59:31,309 --> 00:59:32,646
What's with the pants?
1091
00:59:32,988 --> 00:59:34,706
He doesn't like them anymore.
1092
00:59:35,156 --> 00:59:36,450
It's getting worse.
1093
00:59:37,283 --> 00:59:39,105
So good to have you here.
1094
00:59:40,005 --> 00:59:41,266
Go show her the beach.
1095
00:59:42,256 --> 00:59:43,313
Let me show you the beach.
1096
00:59:44,382 --> 00:59:45,732
Go, get sandy.
1097
01:00:02,085 --> 01:00:03,896
Dylan never told me about your dad.
1098
01:00:04,494 --> 01:00:06,856
Yeah, it's been tough on him.
They were real close.
1099
01:00:07,284 --> 01:00:09,227
Dylan doesn't quite know how to deal with
the Alzheimer's.
1100
01:00:09,565 --> 01:00:10,442
Sorry.
1101
01:00:10,982 --> 01:00:15,201
He'll be his regular old self, everything
seems fine and then in a flash, he is gone.
1102
01:00:17,284 --> 01:00:19,353
-That's Dylan when he was 9.
-Are those braids?
1103
01:00:20,074 --> 01:00:21,502
He was going through a Kriss Kross phase.
1104
01:00:21,874 --> 01:00:24,731
Remember them? "Kriss Kross will make you jump jump".
1105
01:00:27,802 --> 01:00:30,379
-Is that your mom?
-No, that's Dylan's speech therapist.
1106
01:00:31,594 --> 01:00:34,395
He had a stutter.
It got real bad when he was nervous.
1107
01:00:34,700 --> 01:00:36,364
Rough childhood.
1108
01:00:36,713 --> 01:00:39,222
-His math tutor called it "character building".
-Math tutor?
1109
01:00:39,593 --> 01:00:42,272
We're talking like 8x6=1200.
1110
01:00:43,103 --> 01:00:44,926
But he's very visual. Thank God.
1111
01:00:45,455 --> 01:00:47,232
Could you please explain to me this photo?
1112
01:00:47,637 --> 01:00:49,955
That is my 12th birthday surprise party.
1113
01:00:51,586 --> 01:00:53,083
I'm exhausted. I'm gonna go to bed.
1114
01:00:53,488 --> 01:00:56,053
-Jamie, all good with your room?
-Yeah, it's perfect.
1115
01:00:56,840 --> 01:00:58,888
Thank you. Thank you for everything.
1116
01:01:02,962 --> 01:01:05,999
Sammy and I built a saw a girl in half-box,
just be careful on your way to bed.
1117
01:01:06,527 --> 01:01:09,386
-He's not using a real saw, is he?
-Of course he is. He's magnificent.
1118
01:01:09,779 --> 01:01:13,512
I'll make sure he brushes his teeth
and you, don't believe anything she says. She's a liar.
1119
01:01:15,453 --> 01:01:18,108
-He's a pretty special guy.
-Yeah, I think so.
1120
01:01:21,641 --> 01:01:24,015
-You up?
-Yeah, come in.
1121
01:01:26,647 --> 01:01:28,020
I thought you were going to bed.
1122
01:01:28,475 --> 01:01:30,466
I was but then I realised, we are
both single again.
1123
01:01:31,659 --> 01:01:33,380
Oopsie!
1124
01:01:34,494 --> 01:01:36,741
-Dude, no.
-Why not?I washed my hands.
1125
01:01:37,248 --> 01:01:38,339
With soap this time.
1126
01:01:38,584 --> 01:01:40,227
Are you serious? Why would you
just assume?
1127
01:01:40,486 --> 01:01:41,937
You cracked your neck on the porch.
1128
01:01:42,194 --> 01:01:43,757
This thing. That should tell, remember?
1129
01:01:44,392 --> 01:01:47,221
I cracked my neck because we were on a
flight for 6 hours.
1130
01:01:47,615 --> 01:01:50,360
And you were yapping my ear off about how
planes all fly themselves.
1131
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:52,125
And it actually kinked my neck a bit.
1132
01:01:52,666 --> 01:01:54,568
-So...no?
-No. I'm not having sex with you.
1133
01:01:54,798 --> 01:01:57,440
Is it your special time? They
have an app for that. No, wait.
1134
01:01:59,478 --> 01:02:00,714
No. You're good to go.
1135
01:02:01,086 --> 01:02:02,199
We talked about this.
1136
01:02:02,492 --> 01:02:03,909
I just got dumbed so…
1137
01:02:04,292 --> 01:02:06,815
OK, I'm sorry. I thought this was gonna be
a good way to take your mind off of him.
1138
01:02:07,320 --> 01:02:11,168
I don't function that way. Sex is not gonna help.
But you know what will? Emotional support.
1139
01:02:11,618 --> 01:02:14,112
Before we had sex without emotion and now we
have emotion without sex.
1140
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:15,453
Exactly.
1141
01:02:15,602 --> 01:02:17,487
I just need you to be my friend right now.
1142
01:02:17,617 --> 01:02:19,928
OK. So, I'll listen to you while you
give me a hand job.
1143
01:02:20,322 --> 01:02:22,099
-No.
-I'm kidding. Goodnight.
1144
01:02:22,391 --> 01:02:25,902
Wait, hold on. Friends can still hung out.
And I don't know…listen to music.
1145
01:02:26,330 --> 01:02:27,781
Listen to music?
1146
01:02:29,402 --> 01:02:30,739
I'm gonna kill Annie.
1147
01:02:31,438 --> 01:02:32,798
I can't believe you used to like them.
1148
01:02:33,147 --> 01:02:35,071
I didn't like these guys. I don't even remember…
1149
01:02:48,077 --> 01:02:49,888
I don't know what he says right there but…
1150
01:02:51,971 --> 01:02:54,096
You're kidding me? These dudes were da bomb!
1151
01:02:54,591 --> 01:02:57,151
Everybody had bawls, wore them backwards,
baseball jerseys…
1152
01:02:59,013 --> 01:03:01,072
I went as Kriss Kross 3 years
in a row for Halloween.
1153
01:03:01,612 --> 01:03:03,524
-Poor kid.
-I'm not proud of it.
1154
01:03:03,986 --> 01:03:07,642
I borrowed one of your books, I hope
that's OK.
1155
01:03:28,085 --> 01:03:30,369
Have you never really
brought a girl home before?
1156
01:03:31,291 --> 01:03:32,675
I brought you here.
1157
01:03:33,249 --> 01:03:36,028
I mean like a real girl. Not a friend.
1158
01:03:36,872 --> 01:03:38,727
-A real girl.
-Yeah.
1159
01:03:39,749 --> 01:03:41,290
I guess not.
1160
01:03:41,741 --> 01:03:43,457
Separation of church and state.
1161
01:03:43,896 --> 01:03:47,654
Yes, build up as many walls as possible,
that's really healthy.
1162
01:03:48,093 --> 01:03:49,724
You talking to me about walls?
1163
01:03:50,174 --> 01:03:51,625
What about you and your mom?
1164
01:03:52,289 --> 01:03:54,933
Couldn't get me out of there fast enough
when she walked in on us.
1165
01:03:55,338 --> 01:03:56,857
That was for your own protection.
1166
01:03:57,310 --> 01:04:00,414
I'm just surprised she didn't try to
slip you her number, or something.
1167
01:04:01,076 --> 01:04:02,868
Oh, she did. She put it in my phone.
1168
01:04:03,464 --> 01:04:05,309
-Under MILF.
-Oh my God.
1169
01:04:05,586 --> 01:04:07,370
That's cool. We only hooked up
like twice.
1170
01:04:09,687 --> 01:04:11,611
I'm starting to get a mental image.
1171
01:04:12,061 --> 01:04:14,570
-I have a video image if you want.
-Just stop it.
1172
01:04:23,853 --> 01:04:25,079
What?
1173
01:04:26,576 --> 01:04:28,455
Nothing. Just glad I met you.
1174
01:04:31,053 --> 01:04:33,214
Knowing you doesn't
suck either.
1175
01:04:51,137 --> 01:04:53,464
-I thought you said…
-I know what I said.
1176
01:05:07,563 --> 01:05:10,510
Oopsie!
1177
01:07:00,781 --> 01:07:02,390
Good morning.
1178
01:07:02,784 --> 01:07:04,978
Is it always this beautiful out here?
1179
01:07:05,428 --> 01:07:07,791
Between the fires and the floods,
we get about 10 good days.
1180
01:07:08,736 --> 01:07:10,716
No, no. Here. You two sit together.
1181
01:07:11,042 --> 01:07:12,066
Are you sure?
1182
01:07:12,392 --> 01:07:13,675
You don't have to do that, dad.
1183
01:07:14,023 --> 01:07:15,925
No, I know. I'm gonna look at the boat.
I love that boat.
1184
01:07:24,565 --> 01:07:26,036
Coffee, my lady?
1185
01:07:26,328 --> 01:07:28,849
Yes, please.
Thank you.
1186
01:07:31,031 --> 01:07:32,235
All right, man!
1187
01:07:32,505 --> 01:07:33,900
Look at you!
1188
01:07:34,429 --> 01:07:35,745
Pretty impressive.
1189
01:07:39,637 --> 01:07:41,032
Your shirt's leaking.
1190
01:07:42,719 --> 01:07:44,362
Apologies.
1191
01:07:48,007 --> 01:07:49,278
Here.
1192
01:07:53,329 --> 01:07:55,984
-You OK?
-Yeah. You?
1193
01:07:56,760 --> 01:07:58,088
Yeah.
1194
01:08:09,706 --> 01:08:12,878
-See, Sammy?
-Yeah. Wow.
1195
01:08:13,193 --> 01:08:14,959
-Pretty cool, uh?
-Yeah.
1196
01:08:15,930 --> 01:08:17,541
God, it's nice.
1197
01:08:17,969 --> 01:08:19,443
I do miss the mornings out here.
1198
01:08:19,780 --> 01:08:21,610
Right before it burns off,
really it's beautiful.
1199
01:08:22,304 --> 01:08:23,642
I like Jamie.
1200
01:08:25,736 --> 01:08:27,321
And she's pretty, too.
1201
01:08:27,711 --> 01:08:30,141
Hey, easy dude.
Don't you go casting a spell on her.
1202
01:08:30,524 --> 01:08:31,986
I'm a magician, not a wizard.
1203
01:08:32,301 --> 01:08:33,584
You and your gay Harry Potter.
1204
01:08:34,709 --> 01:08:37,072
You can't deny that going to Hogwarts
wouldn't be life changing.
1205
01:08:38,118 --> 01:08:39,143
I miss you.
1206
01:08:39,603 --> 01:08:40,976
I miss you too, bud.
1207
01:08:41,291 --> 01:08:43,980
Mom misses you.
And so does grandpa.
1208
01:08:46,173 --> 01:08:47,333
Does he say anything?
1209
01:08:47,737 --> 01:08:50,618
No. But sometimes he calls me Dylan.
1210
01:08:53,247 --> 01:08:54,619
He said that he didn't want the job.
1211
01:08:54,900 --> 01:08:57,016
That he was just coming to NY
to explore his options.
1212
01:08:57,522 --> 01:08:59,041
What a crock of gas.
1213
01:08:59,547 --> 01:09:02,609
Fly cross country to explore options?
Please, I don't think so.
1214
01:09:02,972 --> 01:09:06,208
Exactly! I knew I had him the second
he got off that plane.
1215
01:09:06,624 --> 01:09:07,738
-Did you now?
-Yeah.
1216
01:09:08,008 --> 01:09:10,573
Was that in the same second you leapt on
to the baggage claim barefoot and acted out…
1217
01:09:10,714 --> 01:09:12,142
a scene from "Will&Grace"?
1218
01:09:12,446 --> 01:09:14,174
-She did?
-Oh yeah, you should have seen her.
1219
01:09:14,449 --> 01:09:15,788
"Look at me, I'm goofy but cute".
1220
01:09:16,046 --> 01:09:17,757
-It was all part of my plan.
-Part of your plan.
1221
01:09:18,173 --> 01:09:19,827
Did you major in planning
at Head Hunting college?
1222
01:09:20,266 --> 01:09:21,942
-So clever.
-It's not a real college by the way, buddy.
1223
01:09:22,445 --> 01:09:24,436
You guys bicker like an old
married couple.
1224
01:09:25,709 --> 01:09:27,229
Here, pick a card, my lady.
1225
01:09:27,644 --> 01:09:29,286
No, not that one. The one on top.
1226
01:09:29,716 --> 01:09:30,976
This is a good one.
1227
01:09:33,292 --> 01:09:34,857
Did you get her an engagement gift?
1228
01:09:35,757 --> 01:09:38,570
We're not engaged, dad.
We're not together. We're just friends.
1229
01:09:38,885 --> 01:09:40,640
You want to wait, I understand.
1230
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:42,407
But, get her some jewelry.
1231
01:09:43,217 --> 01:09:44,735
The only thing your mom wants is jewelry.
1232
01:09:44,983 --> 01:09:47,379
I don't care how upset she is,
I get her jewelry, she lights right up.
1233
01:09:48,636 --> 01:09:50,009
Where is she anyway?
1234
01:09:50,992 --> 01:09:53,625
-She's not here, dad.
-I know, that's why I asked. Where is she?
1235
01:09:55,886 --> 01:09:58,160
-She's not coming.
-Why not?
1236
01:09:58,688 --> 01:10:00,330
She doesn't live with you anymore, pop.
1237
01:10:00,894 --> 01:10:02,659
-You're not married.
-What?
1238
01:10:02,895 --> 01:10:04,664
She left about 10 years ago.
1239
01:10:04,813 --> 01:10:06,327
I don't understand.
1240
01:10:06,505 --> 01:10:08,161
She divorced you, dad.
1241
01:10:10,853 --> 01:10:11,435
Let's call her.
1242
01:10:11,557 --> 01:10:13,955
-Dad, you can't!
-Stop telling me what to do!
1243
01:10:22,737 --> 01:10:24,222
-You OK, dad?
-Fine, fine.
1244
01:10:24,549 --> 01:10:26,506
-Let me help you up.
-Don't.
1245
01:10:57,347 --> 01:10:58,460
Here we are.
1246
01:10:59,901 --> 01:11:02,005
This is beautiful.
1247
01:11:02,308 --> 01:11:04,761
This is where I used to come and think.
My rooftop.
1248
01:11:05,076 --> 01:11:06,437
Ok, how high do you think that fence is?
1249
01:11:06,876 --> 01:11:09,663
I'm a little over 6 foot, looks like
it's about 3 of me,so…
1250
01:11:10,237 --> 01:11:11,688
6 times 3…
1251
01:11:12,577 --> 01:11:14,054
92 feet.
1252
01:11:14,344 --> 01:11:16,706
92 feet? That's really tall, right?
1253
01:11:18,461 --> 01:11:20,948
But they don't want you to get up there,
so I guess that makes sense.
1254
01:11:22,061 --> 01:11:25,448
-Wait. 6 times 3…
-You poor kid.
1255
01:11:26,382 --> 01:11:27,946
-What's up?
-Come on.
1256
01:11:28,744 --> 01:11:30,139
Where you're going?
1257
01:11:30,758 --> 01:11:32,999
Jaime, no, no, wait.
They take this shit seriously, OK?
1258
01:11:33,250 --> 01:11:35,376
Look at all the cameras.
This is the only landmark the city has…
1259
01:11:35,590 --> 01:11:36,950
other than the Scientology center.
1260
01:11:37,652 --> 01:11:40,597
And if any of these cameras are hooked up
to the actual Scientology center…
1261
01:11:40,754 --> 01:11:42,431
that was an inappropriate joke and
I apologise.
1262
01:11:42,689 --> 01:11:44,882
I believe in the freedom of science fiction.
1263
01:11:47,459 --> 01:11:48,888
Sorry.
Pussy!
1264
01:11:50,091 --> 01:11:51,261
Come on!
1265
01:11:56,787 --> 01:11:58,631
You've really never been up here before?
1266
01:11:58,946 --> 01:12:03,053
No. I also never transferred heroine
in my rectum coz it's against the law.
1267
01:12:03,862 --> 01:12:06,698
You know sometimes a simple "yes or no"
answer is adequate.
1268
01:12:07,778 --> 01:12:09,298
Hey, why didn't you tell me
about your mom?
1269
01:12:09,691 --> 01:12:11,143
She's not worth talking about.
1270
01:12:12,649 --> 01:12:13,595
That's rough.
1271
01:12:14,057 --> 01:12:15,665
So's leaving your husband and kids.
1272
01:12:16,307 --> 01:12:17,994
You never told me about him either.
1273
01:12:18,467 --> 01:12:20,132
There's a lot of stuff you didn't tell me.
1274
01:12:20,492 --> 01:12:21,717
I don't want your pity.
1275
01:12:22,972 --> 01:12:24,628
I can handle anything except...
1276
01:12:25,547 --> 01:12:27,336
the look in people's eyes.
1277
01:12:28,866 --> 01:12:29,845
That one.
1278
01:12:30,227 --> 01:12:31,982
Who cares what anybody thinks?
1279
01:12:32,320 --> 01:12:35,560
He's the smartest man I've ever known.
He's the only person I'd ever got to for advice.
1280
01:12:35,830 --> 01:12:36,989
He's my dad.
1281
01:12:37,068 --> 01:12:38,620
He's still the same man.
1282
01:12:38,793 --> 01:12:40,016
When I see the way people look at him now…
1283
01:12:40,121 --> 01:12:42,074
It doesn't matter how people look at him.
1284
01:12:42,657 --> 01:12:44,347
All that matters is how you look at him.
1285
01:12:44,595 --> 01:12:46,654
He's walking around without his pants.
Everyone's staring…
1286
01:12:46,947 --> 01:12:48,420
-So what?
-It's embarrassing.
1287
01:12:48,585 --> 01:12:51,924
He needs to know that nothing's changed.
That he's still that same man to you.
1288
01:12:52,073 --> 01:12:54,417
Can we stop talking about this?
1289
01:12:55,610 --> 01:12:58,749
Yeah. Let's not talk about our feelings.
1290
01:12:59,008 --> 01:13:00,604
I'm trying not to.
1291
01:13:01,854 --> 01:13:04,669
Come on, is something going on here?
You've been acting really weird.
1292
01:13:04,951 --> 01:13:06,435
-No, I haven't.
-Yeah, you have.
1293
01:13:07,220 --> 01:13:08,648
Is this about what happened the other night?
1294
01:13:08,788 --> 01:13:10,978
What sex? That doesn't mean anything.
You know that.
1295
01:13:13,969 --> 01:13:14,613
Right.
1296
01:13:14,785 --> 01:13:17,087
-And I haven't been acting weird.
-OK.
1297
01:13:20,214 --> 01:13:21,935
-Shit!
-I told you!
1298
01:13:22,722 --> 01:13:24,196
-I'm sorry!
-Fuck!
1299
01:13:27,200 --> 01:13:28,293
We got to jump!
1300
01:13:30,305 --> 01:13:32,252
-Dylan, jump!
-I'm frozen!
1301
01:13:33,861 --> 01:13:36,370
-This is your last warning…
-I have a fear of heights.
1302
01:13:38,036 --> 01:13:41,568
And also, helicopters.
They don't make sense to me.
1303
01:13:41,973 --> 01:13:43,998
What do you mean you have a fear of heights?
1304
01:13:44,369 --> 01:13:45,775
Why would you come up here?
1305
01:13:46,102 --> 01:13:47,902
You called me a pussy!
1306
01:13:50,534 --> 01:13:52,863
<i>A bizarre situation this afternoon
in the Southland.</i>
1307
01:13:53,067 --> 01:13:55,991
<i>LAPD rescued a local man
from the Hollywood sign.</i>
1308
01:13:58,478 --> 01:14:00,267
They actually wrapped you in a foil blanket.
1309
01:14:00,830 --> 01:14:02,539
Did you run a marathon before this?
1310
01:14:03,900 --> 01:14:05,499
No, no. I wanna save it.
1311
01:14:06,544 --> 01:14:07,928
Give me the remote.
1312
01:14:12,597 --> 01:14:14,172
It's OK. It'll be up on YouTube.
1313
01:14:15,185 --> 01:14:18,740
You're still good to take dad that week
after I go to DC for Sam's class trip, right?
1314
01:14:18,999 --> 01:14:20,788
Yeah. He's gonna stay with me in NY.
1315
01:14:22,352 --> 01:14:24,207
So, when are we gonna see Jamie again?
1316
01:14:24,893 --> 01:14:25,985
I don't know.
1317
01:14:26,123 --> 01:14:28,585
What's your problem? Did you have
a fight with your girlfriend?
1318
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,812
She's not my girlfriend.
Why don't you believe me?
1319
01:14:30,871 --> 01:14:32,533
I would believe you if you
didn't lie to me.
1320
01:14:32,951 --> 01:14:34,873
I saw you creeping out of her
room the other night.
1321
01:14:35,141 --> 01:14:36,977
Like you just had sex,
if you know what I mean.
1322
01:14:37,301 --> 01:14:38,822
Yes, I know what you mean.
You just said it.
1323
01:14:39,057 --> 01:14:40,790
And how do you know what I
look like after I have...
1324
01:14:40,975 --> 01:14:42,658
I'm not talking to you about this,OK?
1325
01:14:42,877 --> 01:14:44,065
We're not together.
1326
01:14:44,595 --> 01:14:46,343
-Dylan.
-Enough. We're not talking about it.
1327
01:14:50,006 --> 01:14:51,638
Forgot my saw.
Be right back.
1328
01:14:53,899 --> 01:14:55,620
I'll wait here.
Don't worry about me.
1329
01:14:56,700 --> 01:14:59,457
Friends who have sex?
What are you, in college?
1330
01:14:59,716 --> 01:15:00,953
-It doesn't matter, it's over.
-Why?
1331
01:15:01,482 --> 01:15:03,226
Because we don't like each other like that.
1332
01:15:03,496 --> 01:15:05,071
Ok, you know what?
Can we just talk about this?
1333
01:15:05,679 --> 01:15:07,624
Sit down.
What more are you looking for?
1334
01:15:07,688 --> 01:15:08,802
Who says I'm looking for anything?
1335
01:15:09,049 --> 01:15:09,994
Dylan!
1336
01:15:10,253 --> 01:15:11,558
I don't know, but it's not Jaime.
1337
01:15:11,761 --> 01:15:14,720
Why, because you're great together?
Because you're actually friends with each other?
1338
01:15:15,035 --> 01:15:17,172
Because this is the happiest
I have ever seen you?
1339
01:15:17,397 --> 01:15:18,512
I don't know what to tell you, Annie.
1340
01:15:18,714 --> 01:15:20,098
She's not for me.
I don't like her like that.
1341
01:15:20,323 --> 01:15:21,673
You like her enough to have
sex with her.
1342
01:15:21,909 --> 01:15:23,114
It's just physical.
1343
01:15:23,338 --> 01:15:24,553
Like playing tennis.
1344
01:15:24,722 --> 01:15:26,241
I don't even know what that means, Dylan.
1345
01:15:26,466 --> 01:15:28,772
I haven't seen you this dumb since
you got that candy corn tattoo.
1346
01:15:28,986 --> 01:15:31,210
It's a lightning bolt!
With extra powers!
1347
01:15:31,412 --> 01:15:33,493
You can't name one thing that's
wrong with her.
1348
01:15:33,730 --> 01:15:35,024
I can never go out with her.
1349
01:15:35,271 --> 01:15:36,744
She's too fucked up.
1350
01:15:36,947 --> 01:15:39,354
Besides, she doesn't want a boyfriend.
She's too damaged.
1351
01:15:39,548 --> 01:15:41,494
Magnum PI couldn't solve the shit that's
going on in her head.
1352
01:15:41,978 --> 01:15:45,544
You'll say anything right now not to admit
that you're perfect for each other.
1353
01:15:45,803 --> 01:15:47,345
-Why am I still having this conversation?
-Because I'm right.
1354
01:15:47,513 --> 01:15:48,885
-Good talk, Annie.
-Dylan…
1355
01:16:11,309 --> 01:16:13,773
Oh you're men. You like sports.
1356
01:16:16,855 --> 01:16:18,869
Hey, we were waiting for you.
1357
01:16:19,454 --> 01:16:22,233
I actually got a call from work.
I should be in a red-eye tonight back to NY.
1358
01:16:22,683 --> 01:16:23,898
-Tonight?
-Yeah.
1359
01:16:24,281 --> 01:16:26,092
-Tomorrow's the 4th.
-I know. It sucks.
1360
01:16:26,698 --> 01:16:27,857
At least let me drive you to the airport.
1361
01:16:28,116 --> 01:16:30,490
No, it's fine. Stay. I already called a cab.
It's out front.
1362
01:16:31,007 --> 01:16:32,504
Thank you guys for everything.
1363
01:16:32,898 --> 01:16:35,341
And thank you for letting me stay here.
it's been pretty great.
1364
01:16:39,289 --> 01:16:42,057
-Everything OK, buddy?
-Yeah, buddy. Everything's great.
1365
01:16:42,754 --> 01:16:44,159
I really got to go.
1366
01:16:45,183 --> 01:16:48,154
So, thank you again.
I'm sorry I have to go.
1367
01:16:48,537 --> 01:16:49,471
Let Dylan drive you.
1368
01:16:49,807 --> 01:16:51,135
Do you want to take some
food to go?
1369
01:16:51,361 --> 01:16:52,531
Want me to saw you in half?
1370
01:16:52,605 --> 01:16:55,389
We can send your bottom part to NY
and your top half can stay here.
1371
01:16:56,997 --> 01:16:59,179
Or the whole of you could stay.
1372
01:17:00,260 --> 01:17:01,713
OK I'm sorry.
I got to go.
1373
01:17:13,750 --> 01:17:15,246
Jamie!
1374
01:17:21,942 --> 01:17:24,586
She's gone.
She hopped in the cab.
1375
01:17:31,438 --> 01:17:32,507
We should eat.
1376
01:17:32,833 --> 01:17:34,262
-Hungry, buddy?
-Yeah.
1377
01:18:05,865 --> 01:18:08,127
Hey, bro. You hungry?
Coz I'm gonna get something to eat.
1378
01:18:08,869 --> 01:18:10,858
Thanks, man. I think I'm just gonna
work through lunch.
1379
01:18:11,342 --> 01:18:13,142
A work ethic. I love it.
1380
01:18:13,457 --> 01:18:15,854
That is why this country
is still number 1.
1381
01:18:16,405 --> 01:18:19,960
Well, behind Germany and France
and Belgium and Japan and China.
1382
01:18:20,300 --> 01:18:22,450
Thank God for Bangladesh.
1383
01:18:23,822 --> 01:18:26,679
By the way, why did you take your door
of its lovely hinges?
1384
01:18:27,085 --> 01:18:29,077
It was dumb, man. Something I saw
in a management book.
1385
01:18:29,712 --> 01:18:34,437
Right. That's how Warren Buffett got rich.
He took doors off of things.
1386
01:18:35,011 --> 01:18:38,442
Hey, everybody wants a shortcut in life.
My guide book is very simple.
1387
01:18:38,724 --> 01:18:40,906
You wanna lose weight,
stop eating, fatty.
1388
01:18:41,218 --> 01:18:43,975
You wanna make money,
work your ass off, lazy.
1389
01:18:44,234 --> 01:18:47,508
You wanna be happy,
find someone you like and never let him go.
1390
01:18:47,935 --> 01:18:50,928
Or her, if you're into that
kinda creepy shit.
1391
01:19:03,416 --> 01:19:05,205
Hi. you reached Jamie-. I can't pick up the
phone right now.
1392
01:19:05,531 --> 01:19:07,512
Please leave a message
and I'll call you back.
1393
01:19:14,688 --> 01:19:17,691
Mom, you gotta point it at the screen.
You got to tell it where you are.
1394
01:19:18,536 --> 01:19:21,517
FIne. I'm over here, pouring myself a drink.
1395
01:19:25,871 --> 01:19:28,200
Oh, booty call.
I can take a walk around the block.
1396
01:19:28,875 --> 01:19:31,306
No, no.
That's OK.
1397
01:19:31,632 --> 01:19:33,680
This is your apartment. I don't
wanna twat block you.
1398
01:19:35,997 --> 01:19:37,268
That's Dylan, right?
1399
01:19:37,887 --> 01:19:39,609
-He seemed pretty great.
-You met him once.
1400
01:19:39,913 --> 01:19:41,701
That's more than anybody else you dated.
1401
01:19:41,845 --> 01:19:44,714
You think maybe I keep my worlds apart
for some crazy reason?
1402
01:19:55,473 --> 01:19:57,601
I...am an asshole.
1403
01:19:58,113 --> 01:20:01,299
We're looking for someone to lead the re-design
of our entire web site.
1404
01:20:01,334 --> 01:20:02,893
Someone to turn it completely upside down.
1405
01:20:03,153 --> 01:20:04,637
But you can't tell me what
company you work for.
1406
01:20:04,851 --> 01:20:07,182
For confidentiality reasons, no.
1407
01:20:07,403 --> 01:20:08,463
Can you give me a hint?
1408
01:20:08,610 --> 01:20:12,312
We may or may not be the largest seller of
purchased goods on the internet.
1409
01:20:12,605 --> 01:20:14,428
By purchased goods, I mean books.
1410
01:20:15,252 --> 01:20:17,364
You just placed the new art director
over at GQ, right?
1411
01:20:17,599 --> 01:20:19,738
-Yeah.
-That's the type of guy we want.
1412
01:20:19,952 --> 01:20:22,461
That's THE guy we want. Can you get him
to come out to us?
1413
01:20:23,665 --> 01:20:25,836
No longer have a relationship with him.
1414
01:20:25,975 --> 01:20:27,017
Can you get to him?
1415
01:20:27,162 --> 01:20:30,876
He's still in the 1st year of his contract.
So that would be inappropriate.
1416
01:20:31,248 --> 01:20:34,465
So it's paying full price for a book at Barnes&Noble
but people do dumb shit.
1417
01:20:38,240 --> 01:20:40,288
Hi. you reached Jamie-. I can't pick up the
phone right now.
1418
01:20:40,535 --> 01:20:42,375
Please leave a message
and I'll call you back.
1419
01:20:42,904 --> 01:20:45,188
Wow. Right to voice mail.
Didn't even ring.
1420
01:20:57,417 --> 01:20:58,397
Jamie.
1421
01:21:00,691 --> 01:21:01,784
How did you know I was up here?
1422
01:21:03,493 --> 01:21:05,810
Only place in the city you don't
get reception.
1423
01:21:07,238 --> 01:21:08,577
Why are you avoiding me?
1424
01:21:08,904 --> 01:21:11,097
-I'm not.
-Really? Come on, Jamie.
1425
01:21:11,469 --> 01:21:15,069
Well Dylan, I don't know if you heard but
I'm seriously fucked up.
1426
01:21:16,003 --> 01:21:18,377
Magnum PI couldn't solve
the shit going on up here.
1427
01:21:20,930 --> 01:21:22,877
-My God, I'm sorry.
-I'm just gonna go.
1428
01:21:23,181 --> 01:21:26,061
Try to fix the shit going on in my head,
if that's even possible.
1429
01:21:26,792 --> 01:21:29,952
I shouldn't have said that. I was just trying to get
my sister off my back.
1430
01:21:30,559 --> 01:21:31,774
I thought we liked each other.
1431
01:21:32,078 --> 01:21:33,891
Me too, Dylan. I thought we were friends.
1432
01:21:34,195 --> 01:21:35,973
But friends don't go talking shit
about each other.
1433
01:21:36,344 --> 01:21:38,752
Which must mean that you and I,
were actually never friends.
1434
01:21:39,584 --> 01:21:42,329
That all you wanted,
was to get in my pants.
1435
01:21:42,563 --> 01:21:44,847
-What?
-You jumped at the chance at your dad's house.
1436
01:21:45,105 --> 01:21:47,355
You cracked your neck, I thought
you were giving me a sign.
1437
01:21:47,580 --> 01:21:48,571
We talked about this.
1438
01:21:48,784 --> 01:21:49,988
Oh my God, really?
1439
01:21:50,201 --> 01:21:51,935
You pulled my robe off.
"Oopsie!" Remember?
1440
01:21:52,221 --> 01:21:55,461
Yeah, and then you snuck out of the room.
Oopsie, remember that?
1441
01:21:56,698 --> 01:21:59,376
Are you pissed off at me because
I didn't cuddle?
1442
01:22:01,086 --> 01:22:04,011
Isn't that why we started this whole
arrangement in the first place?
1443
01:22:05,080 --> 01:22:06,149
You wanted this.
1444
01:22:09,074 --> 01:22:10,436
I wanted this?
1445
01:22:11,549 --> 01:22:12,843
Just me.
1446
01:22:13,608 --> 01:22:15,780
God, you're just like every other guy.
1447
01:22:16,511 --> 01:22:19,076
The sad thing is Dylan, I actually
thought you were different.
1448
01:22:19,357 --> 01:22:21,349
Different from what? I'm not your
boyfriend, I'm your friend.
1449
01:22:22,305 --> 01:22:24,893
With friends like you, who needs friends?
1450
01:22:29,258 --> 01:22:31,598
Thank you for ruining my mountaintop.
1451
01:22:32,183 --> 01:22:33,477
Asshole.
1452
01:22:40,048 --> 01:22:41,645
Hey, man. You can't be up here.
1453
01:22:44,109 --> 01:22:46,632
-You OK?
-Fine.
1454
01:23:12,397 --> 01:23:14,994
-Brice…this is for me?
-Yeah.
1455
01:23:15,972 --> 01:23:17,244
And so is this.
1456
01:23:17,593 --> 01:23:19,656
Maddison, will you marry me?
1457
01:23:20,285 --> 01:23:21,760
You bet your ass.
1458
01:23:23,905 --> 01:23:25,897
-I love NY.
-I love you.
1459
01:23:27,033 --> 01:23:28,710
Oh my God look, the Empire State building.
1460
01:23:30,194 --> 01:23:31,764
Oh look, the statue of Liberty.
1461
01:23:38,049 --> 01:23:39,522
This is Jamie.
1462
01:23:41,210 --> 01:23:43,415
What do you mean, they went to
him directly?
1463
01:23:44,428 --> 01:23:45,711
Is he gonna take it?
1464
01:23:46,171 --> 01:23:48,286
No, no. I'll handle it.
I'll call him right now.
1465
01:23:53,417 --> 01:23:55,386
Hey, this is Dylan. Leave a message.
1466
01:24:03,825 --> 01:24:05,141
Excuse me, may I help you?
1467
01:24:05,313 --> 01:24:07,230
Hi. Where is Dylan Harper?
1468
01:24:07,376 --> 01:24:09,098
He's at a photo shoot for the sports issue.
1469
01:24:09,677 --> 01:24:11,577
That's right. Photo shoot.
1470
01:24:11,739 --> 01:24:12,915
Where was that again?
1471
01:24:13,078 --> 01:24:14,243
I'm sorry, who are you?
1472
01:24:14,641 --> 01:24:16,088
One of the models.
1473
01:24:16,502 --> 01:24:18,496
I have the perfect body for PhotoShop.
1474
01:24:19,351 --> 01:24:23,727
This gets more angular, these get longer,
this gets way more christian…
1475
01:24:25,740 --> 01:24:27,439
So, where did you say he was again?
1476
01:24:28,745 --> 01:24:31,630
Sports is the last chance we have for
brining our world together, bro.
1477
01:24:31,867 --> 01:24:34,353
So I just wanted to shoot some photos
that speak to that.
1478
01:24:34,634 --> 01:24:37,020
To the unification of all people
through sport.
1479
01:24:37,302 --> 01:24:38,662
OK guys, let's go.
1480
01:24:39,406 --> 01:24:41,554
That's it. Beautiful.
1481
01:24:42,431 --> 01:24:45,750
Now put your arms around each other.
Like you like each other, like you love each other.
1482
01:24:46,560 --> 01:24:47,775
-Too gay?
-A little bit.
1483
01:24:48,653 --> 01:24:50,183
Throw some girls in there.
1484
01:24:50,982 --> 01:24:52,343
Come on, ladies.
1485
01:24:54,672 --> 01:24:57,699
Girls, girls. OK.
Blend in.
1486
01:25:00,388 --> 01:25:01,276
Dylan.
1487
01:25:03,121 --> 01:25:04,021
What are you doing here?
1488
01:25:04,224 --> 01:25:05,912
You met for another job.
You're going to leave now?
1489
01:25:06,149 --> 01:25:07,487
I don't know. Yeah, I took one meeting.
1490
01:25:07,678 --> 01:25:08,826
I can't believe you.
1491
01:25:08,920 --> 01:25:10,048
Come here.
1492
01:25:11,154 --> 01:25:12,685
-Is this your way of getting back at me?
-What?
1493
01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,687
You know that if you leave
before the year's up, I get screwed.
1494
01:25:15,677 --> 01:25:19,953
Oh, right. If I did leave, which I don't know yet,
because all I did was take one meeting…
1495
01:25:21,078 --> 01:25:22,376
I'll write you a check for your bonus.
1496
01:25:24,152 --> 01:25:25,986
Whatever it is I'll pay for it. Happy now?
We good?
1497
01:25:26,325 --> 01:25:27,574
Why didn't you tell me you were looking?
1498
01:25:28,519 --> 01:25:31,264
That's personal. And we're not friends anymore.
You made that pretty clear.
1499
01:25:32,399 --> 01:25:35,247
See, all I wanted to do is have
sex with you, remember?
1500
01:25:36,135 --> 01:25:39,860
Pretend you were the best friend I ever had.
Open up to you like I've never done with anyone ever.
1501
01:25:40,141 --> 01:25:43,437
And then when the sex stopped, invite you to LA
for the weekend to…
1502
01:25:44,759 --> 01:25:46,424
introduce you to my family.
1503
01:25:47,740 --> 01:25:49,990
-I'll send you a check if I take the job.
-Don't bother.
1504
01:26:24,964 --> 01:26:27,564
-Hey, Dyl.
-Dad's coming in to NY airport, right?
1505
01:26:27,766 --> 01:26:29,274
Yeah, he leaves at 9 our time.
1506
01:26:29,488 --> 01:26:33,121
9. So, it's a 5 hour flight, 3 hour time difference,
so he get's in at…
1507
01:26:34,202 --> 01:26:37,385
-32.
-5. Be there at 5, Dylan.
1508
01:26:37,913 --> 01:26:39,433
Right. How is dad?
1509
01:26:41,519 --> 01:26:43,533
He's lost more often than not now.
1510
01:26:43,916 --> 01:26:46,403
But then he has his moments of real clarity.
It's hit or miss.
1511
01:26:47,506 --> 01:26:48,439
How's Jamie?
1512
01:26:50,374 --> 01:26:51,656
-That's over.
-Oh, Dylan…
1513
01:26:51,983 --> 01:26:54,614
-OK, we're done.
-Don't be an idiot. Please.
1514
01:26:54,829 --> 01:26:56,843
Thank you, Annie. I'll pick up dad
tomorrow at the airport.
1515
01:26:57,293 --> 01:26:58,563
32 sharp.
1516
01:26:58,777 --> 01:27:00,015
I love you.
1517
01:27:02,986 --> 01:27:04,110
I don't know what it is.
1518
01:27:04,280 --> 01:27:07,226
I just can't get myself to start looking
for a replacement for him, assuming that he leaves.
1519
01:27:07,744 --> 01:27:09,589
Do you want some motherly love advice?
1520
01:27:10,050 --> 01:27:12,584
-Not really.
-Good, coz I don't know how to do that.
1521
01:27:12,798 --> 01:27:18,299
What I do know is that it's not great God damn
secret your live in fear of repeating my mistakes.
1522
01:27:18,903 --> 01:27:20,788
And you're not wrong, so learn from me.
1523
01:27:21,058 --> 01:27:23,754
Do you know how many men in my life
I thought were really perfect?
1524
01:27:24,070 --> 01:27:25,185
-80.
-1.
1525
01:27:25,375 --> 01:27:26,940
-81?
-1.
1526
01:27:27,378 --> 01:27:30,369
It was your dad. Greatest man I ever met.
Obviously, look at you.
1527
01:27:31,135 --> 01:27:33,712
How smart you are, how great,
how funny, how driven.
1528
01:27:34,488 --> 01:27:37,323
Your faintly Middle-Eastern beauty.
Surely it hasn't all come from me.
1529
01:27:38,831 --> 01:27:42,644
OK, but seriously mom. Do you really not
remember where my dad's from?
1530
01:27:43,040 --> 01:27:44,526
Or is it like a coping mechanism?
1531
01:27:45,324 --> 01:27:46,619
Little of both.
1532
01:27:46,854 --> 01:27:48,768
But I'm pretty sure he's EurAsian.
1533
01:27:50,355 --> 01:27:52,718
I mean, we all have our Prince Charming.
You just gotta know him when you see him.
1534
01:27:53,892 --> 01:27:56,401
Mom, it's Prince Charming.
You should just know.
1535
01:27:56,603 --> 01:28:00,699
Your Prince Charming isn't coming to rescue you
in a horse and carriage, that's not who you are.
1536
01:28:01,453 --> 01:28:04,727
You're looking for a man to be your partner.
1537
01:28:05,785 --> 01:28:07,596
To take on the world with.
1538
01:28:07,990 --> 01:28:09,891
You've gotta update your fairy tale, baby.
1539
01:28:10,735 --> 01:28:12,354
My Prince Charming?
1540
01:28:13,659 --> 01:28:15,033
You.
1541
01:28:37,983 --> 01:28:39,850
A wheelchair. Like I'm an invalid.
1542
01:28:40,649 --> 01:28:42,145
-How was the flight?
-I'm hungry.
1543
01:28:42,494 --> 01:28:44,013
You know they don't serve food
in coach anymore?
1544
01:28:44,306 --> 01:28:46,196
You'd think with these new planes that
practically fly themselves…
1545
01:28:46,342 --> 01:28:48,514
they'd get rid of the pilot and
use his salary for a hot lunch.
1546
01:28:49,031 --> 01:28:50,719
I know, right? Let's get you some food.
1547
01:28:51,934 --> 01:28:54,825
Engineering on these planes is so advanced,
it's completely computerized.
1548
01:28:55,095 --> 01:28:56,907
-Like playing a video game.
-Exactly.
1549
01:28:57,807 --> 01:28:59,359
How long have we been waiting?
It's ridiculous.
1550
01:29:00,248 --> 01:29:01,778
I'll be right back, OK?
1551
01:29:04,872 --> 01:29:05,615
Excuse me.
1552
01:29:05,885 --> 01:29:06,931
We've been waiting a while.
1553
01:29:07,179 --> 01:29:08,731
-Harper.
-I got you, I got you.
1554
01:29:08,841 --> 01:29:10,090
I sit people in the order they came.
1555
01:29:10,472 --> 01:29:12,148
I totally understand that, but I'm
with my dad.
1556
01:29:12,407 --> 01:29:14,095
-And he's not in the best shape.
-I'm sorry.
1557
01:29:14,365 --> 01:29:16,102
Is there no way we could like,
squeeze a table…
1558
01:29:16,339 --> 01:29:17,847
No, I gotta go by the list.
1559
01:29:22,643 --> 01:29:23,978
Dad?
1560
01:29:30,402 --> 01:29:31,719
Dad?
1561
01:29:33,294 --> 01:29:34,453
Dad?
1562
01:29:46,320 --> 01:29:47,760
You gonna join me?
1563
01:29:56,811 --> 01:29:58,138
Absolutely.
1564
01:30:03,111 --> 01:30:04,831
Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry.
You can't do this.
1565
01:30:05,079 --> 01:30:06,778
Could I get a stake medium, please?
1566
01:30:07,115 --> 01:30:08,994
-Sir, this is the Daily Grill.
-Make that two.
1567
01:30:17,635 --> 01:30:19,491
Didi? Didi!
1568
01:30:27,603 --> 01:30:28,627
Dad.
1569
01:30:33,611 --> 01:30:35,142
Who is Didi?
1570
01:30:36,773 --> 01:30:39,777
She's just a girl that I met
in the Navy.
1571
01:30:45,133 --> 01:30:46,617
She was the love of my life.
1572
01:30:50,016 --> 01:30:51,657
Why didn't you tell me about it before?
1573
01:30:51,995 --> 01:30:53,795
It's not something you discuss
with your children.
1574
01:30:54,516 --> 01:30:56,878
Besides, I have you and Annie.
I have no regrets.
1575
01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:58,893
So tell me now.
1576
01:31:00,288 --> 01:31:03,786
She was the love of my life, and I was
too stupid to realize it and I lost her…
1577
01:31:04,327 --> 01:31:06,351
because of something so dumb
I don't even remember.
1578
01:31:06,868 --> 01:31:08,262
And I never really got over it.
1579
01:31:08,678 --> 01:31:11,997
And I think that may be
one of the reasons your mom left.
1580
01:31:13,448 --> 01:31:17,386
You know, my friends used to say that when Didi and I
looked at each other, it was electric.
1581
01:31:17,556 --> 01:31:20,594
And I let her go.
I just let her go.
1582
01:31:21,122 --> 01:31:24,351
Because I was too damn proud to tell her how
I really felt about her.
1583
01:31:25,330 --> 01:31:27,681
I'll tell you something I wish I knew
when I was your age.
1584
01:31:28,008 --> 01:31:29,504
And I know you heard it a million times,
life is short.
1585
01:31:29,718 --> 01:31:33,048
But let me tell you something.
What this is teaching me…
1586
01:31:33,273 --> 01:31:36,165
is that life is God damn short
and you can't waste a minute of it.
1587
01:31:38,696 --> 01:31:39,934
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1588
01:31:44,732 --> 01:31:47,252
The girl I brought home to LA…
1589
01:31:47,916 --> 01:31:49,918
-Jamie…
-Yeah, what's going on with her?
1590
01:31:50,233 --> 01:31:51,538
I think I messed it up.
1591
01:31:51,763 --> 01:31:53,304
-Fix it.
-She won't talk to me.
1592
01:31:53,519 --> 01:31:55,454
Maybe she'll listen.
There's always a way.
1593
01:31:55,656 --> 01:31:59,909
If you think there's even a chance that
she could be it, you fix it.
1594
01:32:01,928 --> 01:32:03,289
Did Annie put you up to this?
1595
01:32:03,863 --> 01:32:05,224
Who's Annie?
1596
01:32:05,888 --> 01:32:08,015
I'm kidding. I can't joke about this?
1597
01:32:09,015 --> 01:32:10,309
Jesus Christ, dad.
1598
01:32:10,523 --> 01:32:12,233
I don't know what else to do.
1599
01:32:13,707 --> 01:32:14,664
Let's go.
1600
01:32:15,148 --> 01:32:16,453
You don't wanna finish your stake?
1601
01:32:16,656 --> 01:32:19,614
We're eating in a God damn airport.
I can leave the stake. Come on.
1602
01:32:20,042 --> 01:32:22,484
This is Dylan Harper from GQ.
We met a few weeks ago.
1603
01:32:22,967 --> 01:32:23,990
Right.
1604
01:32:24,858 --> 01:32:26,004
I want to ask you a huge favor.
1605
01:32:26,376 --> 01:32:28,862
-Oh, I'm so sorry.
-It's my fault.
1606
01:32:29,143 --> 01:32:30,528
No, no. My fault. You all right?
1607
01:32:31,168 --> 01:32:32,925
-Let me help you with that.
-Thanks, you're really nice.
1608
01:32:33,959 --> 01:32:35,230
All right. Hey, stay proud.
1609
01:32:36,940 --> 01:32:38,798
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
1610
01:32:39,214 --> 01:32:40,554
All right, let's dance, cloudy brown.
1611
01:32:40,735 --> 01:32:41,605
What's your problem with me?
1612
01:32:41,741 --> 01:32:43,332
I saw you at that bar with Jamie.
1613
01:32:43,526 --> 01:32:45,688
How can such an awesome girl
be with this…
1614
01:32:45,905 --> 01:32:47,254
over this?
1615
01:32:47,585 --> 01:32:50,420
I've been trying to take that little
monkey to pound town for years.
1616
01:32:50,621 --> 01:32:51,928
I'll tell her you say hello.
1617
01:32:52,265 --> 01:32:53,476
-What?
-You've missed a little…
1618
01:32:54,275 --> 01:32:55,086
There you go.
1619
01:32:55,202 --> 01:32:56,579
Dylan, I got a cab. Come on.
1620
01:32:56,658 --> 01:33:00,325
I ever run into you again, I'll crush your earlobes
and make soup stock out of them.
1621
01:33:00,500 --> 01:33:02,123
-You've a vivid imagination.
-I do.
1622
01:33:02,373 --> 01:33:04,415
-Getting in a cab now.
-I'm gonna make soup.
1623
01:33:04,573 --> 01:33:06,654
-What's the matter with her?
-I don't know.
1624
01:33:11,180 --> 01:33:13,498
I thought LA was bad.
This traffic is terrible.
1625
01:33:13,847 --> 01:33:15,512
Is there any other way into the city?
1626
01:33:25,226 --> 01:33:26,801
I owe you big time, Tommy.
1627
01:33:27,510 --> 01:33:29,007
You'll make it up to me.
1628
01:33:29,400 --> 01:33:31,065
Actually, I was heading in to town anyway.
1629
01:33:31,887 --> 01:33:35,870
Tonight's the Butterfly ball. Great place to
pick up dudes.
1630
01:33:36,342 --> 01:33:37,883
-You OK dad?
-Are you kidding?
1631
01:33:38,231 --> 01:33:41,630
1937 chris craft, couldn't get
any better, buddy.
1632
01:33:44,735 --> 01:33:47,582
Hi, this is Dylan. We met at…
Right.
1633
01:33:48,482 --> 01:33:50,282
Can I ask you a huge favor?
1634
01:33:54,523 --> 01:33:55,558
My number…
1635
01:33:55,817 --> 01:33:57,122
Here's the remote.
1636
01:33:57,302 --> 01:33:59,890
My friend Dave from across the hall,
his oven broke, so he'll be using the kitchen.
1637
01:34:00,149 --> 01:34:02,596
You friend Dave is here using the kitchen
or watching me?
1638
01:34:03,287 --> 01:34:04,235
Go.
1639
01:34:05,004 --> 01:34:06,172
-Holy!
-What?
1640
01:34:06,325 --> 01:34:08,005
How to wear white pants to a cookout.
1641
01:34:08,634 --> 01:34:09,939
Did you scoop the Times on this?
1642
01:34:10,209 --> 01:34:11,616
I smell Pulitzer.
1643
01:34:11,852 --> 01:34:13,158
All right, all right.
1644
01:34:13,382 --> 01:34:14,822
Just say hello to her for me, will you?
1645
01:34:15,812 --> 01:34:16,792
See you, dad.
1646
01:34:19,626 --> 01:34:21,145
Hi Dave from across the hall.
1647
01:34:21,471 --> 01:34:22,934
Hi Mr. Harper.
1648
01:34:23,238 --> 01:34:24,981
How are you?
1649
01:34:25,803 --> 01:34:27,322
And now I know why you're here.
1650
01:34:28,357 --> 01:34:30,866
Mom, I'm over by the exit.
Where are you?
1651
01:34:31,789 --> 01:34:33,485
I'm standing right by the guy
in the tie.
1652
01:34:33,777 --> 01:34:35,657
There's are a million guys in ties.
1653
01:34:35,938 --> 01:34:37,570
Look for the guy I'm standing next to.
1654
01:34:37,951 --> 01:34:40,156
You never do what you say you're gonna do.
When am I gonna learn?
1655
01:34:40,471 --> 01:34:42,144
Just hang on, baby.
1656
01:34:46,498 --> 01:34:47,611
What?
1657
01:34:49,592 --> 01:34:52,079
I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it.
Something came up.
1658
01:34:52,416 --> 01:34:56,725
Let's meet tomorrow. I'll be on the stairs.
Right across from you.
1659
01:35:01,034 --> 01:35:02,395
Oh my God.
1660
01:35:02,813 --> 01:35:04,950
Have a great night, baby.
1661
01:35:22,705 --> 01:35:24,043
What is this?
1662
01:35:24,204 --> 01:35:29,515
"Closing Time" by the band Semisonic.
It's not Third Eye Blind, can you believe that?
1663
01:35:30,010 --> 01:35:32,226
Not the song.
This.
1664
01:35:32,474 --> 01:35:34,555
You said you wanted your life to be
like the movies.
1665
01:35:35,320 --> 01:35:37,818
Sorry I had to use the real Grand Central
instead of a fake one.
1666
01:35:45,160 --> 01:35:48,075
-Listen…
-I'm having trouble hearing you.
1667
01:35:48,401 --> 01:35:50,247
Yeah, I didn't really think this through.
1668
01:35:50,461 --> 01:35:54,016
I guess in the movies the guy pours his heart out
and they put the music in later.
1669
01:35:54,319 --> 01:35:55,500
What?
1670
01:35:58,506 --> 01:35:59,777
I messed up.
1671
01:36:00,734 --> 01:36:01,780
I was scared.
1672
01:36:02,680 --> 01:36:05,306
Look what happened to my mom and
my dad, of course I was scared.
1673
01:36:06,578 --> 01:36:07,973
I ruined it.
1674
01:36:08,929 --> 01:36:13,429
Everything that happened in the day, all I could
think to myself is I can't wait to tell Jamie about this.
1675
01:36:14,667 --> 01:36:17,401
When I see someone cursing, all I
picture is you blinking.
1676
01:36:18,346 --> 01:36:22,565
And when I hear a kid's been cured of cancer,
I pray it's not by the douche bag…
1677
01:36:22,970 --> 01:36:25,310
tree hugging, fucking doctor who ran
out on you.
1678
01:36:25,906 --> 01:36:27,763
I mean, cancer being cured is awesome.
1679
01:36:27,931 --> 01:36:30,035
But you know, I wish someone else did it.
1680
01:36:31,149 --> 01:36:32,308
Come on.
1681
01:36:38,293 --> 01:36:40,371
-I miss you.
-I miss you, too.
1682
01:36:41,080 --> 01:36:43,004
But you're not wrong,
I am damaged.
1683
01:36:43,398 --> 01:36:44,433
So am I.
1684
01:36:44,692 --> 01:36:46,874
Who isn't? It's what
makes us so awesome.
1685
01:36:47,167 --> 01:36:48,551
And our tattoos.
1686
01:36:51,161 --> 01:36:52,038
No, no, no.
1687
01:36:52,286 --> 01:36:53,760
Shut up, it's not what you think.
1688
01:36:54,379 --> 01:36:56,550
Jamie, will you be my
best friend again?
1689
01:36:57,596 --> 01:36:59,824
-That is so lame.
-Oh, I know.
1690
01:37:00,375 --> 01:37:02,322
It's some Prince Charming shit though, right?
1691
01:37:02,805 --> 01:37:03,942
-Get up.
-OK.
1692
01:37:05,242 --> 01:37:08,077
Look. I can live without ever having
sex with you again.
1693
01:37:08,561 --> 01:37:09,968
It'd be really hard.
1694
01:37:11,970 --> 01:37:13,793
I want my best friend back.
1695
01:37:14,097 --> 01:37:15,694
Because I'm in love with her.
1696
01:37:16,774 --> 01:37:18,462
-Under one condition.
-Anything.
1697
01:37:19,947 --> 01:37:21,410
Kiss me.
1698
01:37:23,221 --> 01:37:24,942
In public, in front of all these people?
1699
01:37:44,642 --> 01:37:46,308
You can all go home now.
1700
01:37:57,108 --> 01:37:58,323
What do we do now?
1701
01:37:58,706 --> 01:37:59,921
Have our first date.
1702
01:38:04,081 --> 01:38:06,445
Oh my God!
Did you get a horse and carriage?
1703
01:38:07,906 --> 01:38:09,268
Yeah, that's not for you.
1704
01:38:09,864 --> 01:38:12,441
Thank God! Horses actually
scare the shit out of me.
1705
01:38:12,769 --> 01:38:14,097
-Really?
-Yeah.
1706
01:38:14,400 --> 01:38:16,527
-So, where are you from?
-California.
1707
01:38:17,011 --> 01:38:18,001
Interesting.
1708
01:38:18,260 --> 01:38:19,914
I'm from LA.
Just moved to NY.
1709
01:38:20,274 --> 01:38:21,736
Interesting. I didn't really ask,
but go on.
1710
01:38:22,017 --> 01:38:23,818
I'm excited.
I'm on a first date.
1711
01:38:25,190 --> 01:38:26,743
This isn't weird at all.
1712
01:38:31,932 --> 01:38:33,294
So…
1713
01:38:35,825 --> 01:38:36,973
Yeah, fuck it.
1714
01:38:39,178 --> 01:38:44,336
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