100 VOTES AND 600 VIEWS
in less than a month.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
this will be the last part to be published in June, and luckily it is the seventh part(including the INTRO)
Yay! Enjoy ♡♡

°•》
"how the pained ones choose to keep their pain to themselves ends up hurting those who care too.
So if I could rewrite the times I was oblivious, I would make an accident enlighten me so that I would've been even a little prepared for the accident that destroyed a part of me."
《•°

June

As Taehyung pulled me behind him, jogging after a breathless Namjoon, I had too much to think about. Different thoughts clogged my mind, V of BTS is holding my hand but I didn't feel anything. All the exhilarating moments wouldn't mean much at the wrong times, after all.

The floor beneath me felt cold and hard, would it have been less stressing if I found out about this on twitter like everyone else will? I can't tell. It feels awful.

The confusion was what I didn't anticipate, and the concern it was about left me baffled.

Who was I worried about, Jin... or SeokJin?

I shake my head and let the determination of an ARMY help me match V's pace. I would've felt the same for any of the boys. When we arrive, the crew crowds around a whimpering Jin before Namjoon clears the way and motions me over.

Jin was on the floor holding his leg with a face crumbled in pain, my body runs over on its own and I start inspecting. His hands were around the calf of his left leg, and while the other leg laid on the floor stretched this one was bent closer to his chest as he hunched over.

I hold his hand to put it away, and he opens his eyes a little to look at me. His face calms down like he forgot the pain, and my eyes move to the back of his leg. I sigh when I see it, the strained muscles causing his pain. The cramps.

Looking back up at him with sharp eyes, I hold either side of his neck to check if he was sweating too much. But he wasn't, there was nothing wrong, "you made all that fuzz over leg cramps. Do you realize that?" I turn to Namjoon who is crunching closest to us and he widens his eyes at me in realization.

I shake my head and look back at Jin as I take his foot in my hands to start the stretching procedure to get rid of the cramps. "You are dehydrated," I take a glance at Seokjin's bare face and slightly dry lips, "and you probably half-asšed stretching." I move his feet a little aggressively in redemption. He didn't change. He groans loudly instead of screaming, and I press my lips together in scorn so I don't scoff.

"That was unnecessary." He notes through gritted teeth, "it hurts."

"How can you overlook basics, Seokjin?" I gesture to his body and suddenly I'm aware of my surroundings again, I'm aware that I'm June and that he isn't the Seokjin I know. What am I thinking lecturing him like back at school?

I let go of his calf that I was holding to check if the muscles relaxed then stand up and bow, "I didn't mean to--"

Someone hugs me from behind, "Aah Noona!" Jimin says with his cheek against the back of my head, "you're so cool."

Jhope comes to the rescue and pushes Jimin away before my heart stops, "Stop it!" He scolds a laughing Jimin then gives me a thumbs up and winks at me. My heart really stops this time.

Jin is now standing, checking if what was causing his pain was really a simple cramp at the calves. It must have felt much worse, but I'm glad it's gone. "Thank you." He nods to me.

Jungkook comes to stand beside me and rests his arm around my shoulders, was Jungkook always a giant? I try to keep my heart from jumping out and nod back.

"Alright!" Suga butts in, "we need to get ready now you guys. Come on June." He turns his head slightly, letting me know that he wants to be first.

"Let's go! I'm so relieved!" V says and follows Suga. The rest soon leave and Jin and I are the only ones left on the stage. He only looks at me for too long before he scratches the back of his neck. He wasn't confused or shocked when I was scolding him. He gave me the same wide-eyes he used to give.

"You remember, don't you?" We say at the same time.

"I'm sorry." He mutters and it hits me like a rocket.

Just like I flipped so many pages over in a rush back then, I never gave him the chance to include his apology.

Was there a line left for it now?

》》》

"You're back?" Seungho says breathlessly, he ran to the door as soon as he heard me enter the code.

I forgot that I wasn't supposed to come right back because I'm mad at my brothers. I forgot about everything and only remembered Seokjin and what happened to us in senior year.

I look away and walk past him up to my room, but he stops me when he holds my forearm. "I got us food."

"You can eat alone." I force my arm out of his grip and continue to walk away. I won't let him do this to me now too, if he's hiding something then it's something huge. And keeping me in the dark won't save me from the shock.

He's repeating what he did three years ago, I know it. But I'm not giving up on the doubts this time.

"June. Come on, you need to eat. This has nothing to do with being mad at me!" He shouts to me, making me ball my hands.

"What's that supposed to mean? You're aware I'm mad at you and you won't talk to me about it?" I turn back to look at him. 

His shoulders sag, "talk to you about what?"

I take my steps closer to him, "about what you and Changwook are hiding from me, again."

His form grows rigid, "are you still blaming me for that? I only listened to what your mom wanted. It was her choice to hide her sickness from you."

"But it wasn't her choice alone!" I snap at him, "she was a wife and a mother before she became a patient, and you knew what dad and I would've wanted. Do you think he would've wanted to spend his time away from his dying wife in another country?"

"Of course not. But she wanted him to go on, she wanted you to go on with your studies too. She was afraid another dream of yours would be stolen away. And she had me by her side, she had you too." He whispers the last part to me, and holds my shoulders, "stop blaming me and yourself. She wanted me to protect you from the pain. There was nothing you could've done, June."

My vision was getting hazy, "I could've prepared myself, Seungho." My tears fall again, "I would've prepared myself so I wouldn't be left with so much pain all alone."

"You have me, and you have Changwook." Seungho hugs me and rubs my back while his other hand holds my head. "And you have Dad. You're not alone, not now, not back then, and not in the future. We will always be in it together."

I hug him back, was all this meant to happen? If I had known, would anything have changed?

《《

My half American mother lost a fight with breast cancer last summer, she refused to get the surgery when she realized she was already a terminal breast cancer patient.

Would you blame anyone for choosing the end over the suffering? That was the person my mom was. She chose to take the memories of our happy family with her, instead of ruining it with her sickness.

It started one year after we moved together out of Korea, when Seungho suddenly decided to reside in America instead of coming to visit twice every year. I should've known something was up back then, but I was too busy thinking about myself.

I was too selfish to notice anyone else's pain and... I was glad that he was there back then, because while Changwook always chose to hurt back those who hurt me, Seungho was the one who chose to take care of me and make me feel better.

And he chose to do that at any price, no matter what it would cost later.

》

I got a call that night.

A call from Kim Seokjin.

And it was like everything that died in the past is coming back to life.

"Lee Jooeun?"

》》》

next time we meet it will no longer be the 6th, but the 7th♡ .
Shortly, we will welcome July together with
》7 of Styling THE Boys.

One of the people I love and follow just decided it will be 'self-care' July, and I'm all with.

So are you,
please take care of yourself this month and do all the things you wanted to do for yourself since quarantine started.

You matter, so speak yourself, face yourself, and love yourself.
That's what BTS and ARMY are all about, no?

I'm rooting for you,
And I sincerely believe in you,
Kaye 💜💜. 

30th of the 6th, the last of June; the month.