This was way longer than I intended it 2 b. Read w precaution that i am not the best writer....

Also i think i kinda see them older here... like hs kids. ok enjoy

Kyle grimaced at the one-again empty spot in the snow in which Stan usually stood whilst waiting for the bus. He'd not seen Stan in a week. Stan disappearing was expected sometimes, but not for no longer than a few days.

Kyle turned to Kenny, because if anybody was as worried as him, it would be him. Definitely not Cartman, who was busy giggling at stuff on his phone.

"Does it bother you that Stan's been gone for a week?" He questioned, and Kenny barely glanced at him before looking foreword.

"Is it just now worrying you? I've been worried. But I'm not going over to his house, you need to do that."

"Why?"

"Because it's your fault. Kyle, you're actually a bigger dick than you think you are." Kenny shook his head, shifting his gaze to Kyle now with a stern look. "You basically told him last week that you're not gonna be friends with him anymore because of something he can't control. Trust me, he would do anything to be able to see everything as good again. Why else does he drink?"

Kyle felt guilty, although he should've felt this a long time ago. He didn't realize how selfish he was being. His friend- his "super best friend"- has been at home for a week skipping school all because of Kyle being a dick. While his friend right in front of him was struggling mentally- so tired and pretty much giving up- he pushed Stan away when he needed him most.

Kyle Broflovski really fucked up.

"I'm going to go check on him." Kyle finally said, walking off in the direction of Stan's house.

Kenny sighed, folding his arms. Cartman finally looked up.

"Eh? What the hell happened?"

"Kyle realized that he's actually kind of selfish and an asshole."

That caused the other boy to snicker, in which Kenny shot him a glare. "You're way worse, Eric."

"Hey, Mr. Marsh." Kyle mumbled as Randy let him in, grateful that at least one kid cared about his son.

"Hey, Kyle. You looking for Stan?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's upstairs in his room. I hope you can... do something for him." Randy sighed as he walked into the kitchen, and Kyle did the same as he walked upstairs and into Stan's room, knocking once before he walked in.

"Stan. It's Kyle."

Stan didn't budge or flinch upon hearing his voice. He stayed with his back facing towards Kyle, laying down in his bed- simply facing the wall.

"Stan, are you awake?"

All he got in response was a hum. Kyle sighed as he walked over, sitting on the edge of his bed. Stan groaned as he sat up- causing Kyle's face to scrunch up unpleasantly. Stan looked as good as he smelt- bad. His hair was messy and wet with grease, his face tired and pale, his eye bags dark. 

"Have you been drinking?"

"I was. I ran out a day or two ago. I don't remember." He stated dryly, rolling his eyes. "What do you want?"

"You've been gone for a week," his eyebrows furrowed, "of course I'll be worried about you."

"Kyle, you know damn well this isn't the first time this shit has happened. Every time my depression spikes, you ignore me because of my 'mood'. And then I stay home for days. You're a fucking dick and a horrible friend," Stan started, catching Kyle off guard. "And then last week you said it was your last straw. So why are you here, Kyle? Just fucking leave me alone."

Kyle grimaced, looking down. He wasn't completely sure how to or if he even could be able to get Stan to forgive him. Kyle had been completely selfish, ignoring his friend's depression because it slightly affected his own mood. He was horrible.

He recalled that day last week and cringed. He tried to take Stan out to have fun and take his mind off of things, and the last place they ended up was the movie theater. As usual.

Stan complained that the movie was shit, and Kyle stood up, dropping his popcorn that hit the floor and scattered all across it. He turned to Stan with a horrible expression, one that made Stan wish he could sprint away as fast as possible. Instead, he was frozen. Kyle's never looked at him so horribly before.

And so Kyle went on to say, "Stan, I'm sick of your fucking shit. I try to do nice things for you, but you don't even appreciate them."

"I can't, Kyle, I really try. I appreciate the gestur-"

Kyle had cut him off. "No you fucking don't. And this happens every single time. I can't deal with it, Stan. I can't deal with you. I'm fucking done." He turned his back, walking out of the cinema. He didn't look back once.

Kyle Broflovski was a fucking asshole.

"I can't... put in to words how guilty I feel, Stan. I don't know why I put myself over you at the times when you needed it the most, or why I ignore you, because I'm not in any world supposed to do that. I'm a horrible friend to you, and I want to make it up to you by sticking with you from now on. You can't just sit in your room and drink it away until you think you can manage. I can't have you hurting yourself like this anymore. Stan, we've been together since we were little, and you've always been my best friend. I know now that I really need to fucking step it up, even though I should have realized that so long ago. I care for you so much, Stan."

Stan's expression was pained, his face slightly scrunched as tears now pooled from his eyes, making Kyle a bit shocked. "You don't understand how much I needed you- how much I need you, Kyle. You don't fucking understand, and you never will." He spoke angrily through gritted teeth, jabbing his finger into Kyle's chest. "How am I supposed to know you aren't just gonna get sick of me again, huh? How will I know?"

Kyle didn't know what to say as he looked at Stan, watching his once pissed off expression fall as his head dropped, the only thing that either of them could hear now being Stan's silent sobs.

"Stan, I don't know why I said that to you at all. I regret it so much. It's horrible to see you like this, I can't imagine how much pain you're in. I love you, Stan." Kyle hesitated before moving closer to Stan and wrapping his arms around him, enveloping him in a warm hug.

Stan was stiff for a moment before he fell into Kyle, sobbing loudly into his hoodie. Kyle was shocked, only being able to repeat meaningless phrases- "It's okay, I've got you." "I'm here." "It's going to get better."

It felt like they stayed there for hours, until Stan became quiet and pushed himself off of Kyle. Stan stared at him, glaring slightly, "I hate you, Kyle."

"Okay," Kyle sighed, maintaining eye contact, "that's okay. I love you."

"You don't love me."

"I love you, Stan. I fucked up bad, dude. I love you so much."

"How much?" Stan's voice was barely a whisper as his voice cracked, "do you love me?"

Kyle barely leaned foreword towards Stan before Stan put his hand over Kyle's mouth, shaking his head. "You don't want to do that."

"I do," Kyle's eyebrows furrowed.

"No, you don't." Stan sighed, taking his hand off Kyle. "I haven't touched a toothbrush in a week, Kyle. You don't want to do that."

Kyle thought for a moment before standing up. "Come on, Stan. Get up."

"What?" Stan's eyebrows pinched together. "What're you doing?"

"We're gonna get you cleaned up. Come on." He grabbed a hold of Stan's forearm, and Stan sighed before letting Kyle pull him up into a standing position. Kyle kept his hand wrapped around his arm as he practically dragged him into the bathroom.

Kyle practically forced him into the shower, trying his hardest not to scrunch his face up unpleasantly. He loved Stan, he really did, but he smelled like a rotting corpse.

And when Stan was done with his long shower- considering he had to shampoo his hair multiple times because of all the grease- Kyle made him brush his teeth and use mouthwash. It was like a mother scolding their child on their poor hygiene.

Stan was now dressed in his usual clothes, which Kyle had thrown in the wash quickly while Stan took a shower.

Most of this process was utterly silent, but not a bad silence. It wasn't deafening or awkward. Sometimes people find it easier to do things with other people around. That's just how things are.

They went back into Stan's room, both sitting on the edge of his bed in silence before Stan finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, don't-" Kyle sighed as he was cut off quickly.

"No, dude, I'm sorry. How bad did I look and smell? I don't know how you can deal with this." Stan grimaced.

"It doesn't matter," Kyle shook his head, pulling him into a hug again. "It's not an issue to me."

"It was."

"I don't know why I acted like it was. It's not bad at all. I would do this everyday for you."

Upon hearing that, Stan scoffed. "That'd be like hell on earth. Why would anyone ever wanna do that?"

"Because I love you, Stan. I'll say it again and again."

"I love you, too," Stan finally said the words back, "but not like you love me, Kyle."

"What do you mean?"

There was a moment of silence before Stan sighed. "I don't love you like a friend, dude. What else does it mean?"

Kyle was silent, waiting for him to elaborate. When Stan didn't, he spoke, "What do you love me as, then?"

"What else could I love you as, Kyle? I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you. I've tried to drop hints, but you're dense and stupid as shit." Stan huffed, pushing Kyle away and off of him.

"Stan.." They finally made eye contact, and there was a moment of silence. Just a moment before they shared a quick kiss, but it meant the most to Stan. Stan didn't care how long or short, how sentimental, how intimate a kiss from Kyle was. He just wanted it, he just needed that confirmation.

Stan hugged Kyle first now, hiding his face in his shoulder. "You're an asshole, Broflovski."

"I know. I'm here now, and I'm not leaving you. Stan, I've wanted you since you were in that shitty off-and-on relationship with Wendy."

"Oh..." Stan mumbled, sighing.

"Mhm." Kyle sighed along with him, nodding.

It was silent for a moment, before Stan finally spoke. "If you leave me like this again, I'm seriously not gonna forgive you."

"That's okay. I'm not going to leave you anymore. I'm sorry I'm only here for you now. I love you, Stan. So much."

Stan sighed, silently debating things in his head. He wasn't completely sure wether to trust Kyle or not, but it's not like Kyle lies a lot. But he's done it before. He was conflicted, but it wouldn't hurt to give him a chance- another chance.

Of course, it definitely would hurt to give him another chance if Kyle left him again. Stan ignored that very apparent fact, putting his love and care for Kyle over these worries.

Stan didn't know what would happen if Kyle truly left him and never talked to him again. He decided he shouldn't think about it too much, and leaned closer into Kyle, hugging him tighter. Kyle smiled, chuckling slightly, that made Stan smile uncontrollably.

He loved his laugh so much. And he missed his laugh so much. He missed being close with Kyle. Ever since he was diagnosed, it felt like they drifted apart.

He missed Kyle Broflovski a lot.

"I love you, Kyle. Please stay with me."

And Kyle did just that, spending the rest of the day with Stan. The Marshes silently thanked him at dinner- they would smile and nod at him at the dinner table, in which Kyle would just smile and shake his head. His simple gesture that it wasn't a problem at all.

And the rest of the day they spent in Stan's room, just catching up on what he's been missing out on. Drama between Kyle and Cartman, or literally anyone in the school. PC Principal beating up some kids, the adventures he accidentally got caught up in, and other dumb shit. He even mentioned what Kenny had said to him, making Stan giggle.

"He's right. Asshole."

Kyle just laughed back at this, smiling to himself. It was almost refreshing and a relief to see Stan smile and laugh after practically hours of seeing him in possibly his worst state ever.

It made Stan feel better, too. It's not as if he felt great, but he definitely feels better than before. Stan thinks that if anyone other than Kyle and Kenny were to come into his room and get near him, they would throw up everywhere. He laughed at the thought of Cartman doing this in particular, making Kyle look up.

"What?"

"Nothing.. I just thought of something funny."

Kyle grinned, "what, the fact that you called me dense for not picking up your hints even though I've been dropping some since fourth grade?"

Stan shot a glare his way, making Kyle laugh. "Shut up."

And it wasn't long until they crawled in bed together, both of them quickly falling asleep, hugging each other. Both spent the entire night talking and catching up- and they did this late into the night until they had not one more thing to talk about.

Kyle fell asleep before Stan, but he didn't mind. It just meant he got to think about the day more, about Kyle.

Stan decided that Kyle was really, truly apologetic. He wasn't entirely sure why Kyle acted the way he did before, and why he suddenly changed now, but he didn't question it.

He laid against Kyle's chest, listening to the odd rhythm of his heart. It was a nice sound, and it soothed Stan.

And he would fall asleep listening to his heart, just barely awake as he mumbled the words, "I love you, Kyle. So much."