The next morning, I pulled a chair into the circle next to Billy. He moved his chair closer to mine to make room for Martini and smiled over at me.

"I-i-its g-g-going to b-be al-al-alright." He reassured me as everyone else took their places. I nodded and looked down as I wrung my hands. I was tapping my foot as well and I could feel Chadwick's eyes on me as well. I looked over at him and gave him a nervous smile. Chadwick looked over at Harding and then at Taber, who looked over at me. Taber smiled and gave me a thumbs up while Harding just watched me. I focused on my hands again as everyone finished putting their chairs into place. Nurse Ratched came out a second later and took her seat at the head of the circle. I felt Billy's foot slide next to mine and gently tap it to get me to stop tapping. The tapping slowed down but didn't stop. I made eye contact with him and shook my head.

"It's not going to stop Billy." I whispered. He nodded and put his foot on top of mine, pining it down so the tapping would stop. I let out a breathy laugh as Billy smiled at me.

"Th-th-there." He whispered back. "I-it st-st-stopped." I shook my head and continued wringing my hands. "Y-y-you'll b-be f-f-fine."

"Last session we ended with Mr. Harding talking about his wife." Nurse Ratched started the meeting, commanding the attention of the circle. "Today we are going to start with (Y/N) and their anxiety." My head snapped up and my wide eyes scanned the circle before landing on Nurse Ratched. Knowing that she was going to call me out first didn't help the feeling of panic that fell on me in waves. "(Y/N), why don't you start by telling us what causes your anxiety." The foot that Billy wasn't holding down started tapping and I started to play with the hem of my shirt.

"Uh. Hi. I'm (Y/N). I have anxiety." I tried to joke. Billy and Taber laughed while everyone else looked on. I got a dirty look from Nurse Ratched. "Look. I don't know exactly what causes it. All I know is that once it starts, it is hard to stop." I watched her eyes travel down to my hands and then further to my tapping foot. "I know that when I have to be put on the spot, like this, it gets worse. And if it gets any worse, I have a panic attack which drains me for the rest of the day."

"And does this make your depression worse?" My eyes went wide and all my anxious tics stopped in shock. Billy looked between me and Nurse Ratched in shock. My hands started to shake and I squeezed them into fists to stop them. I could feel my arms starting to shake, knowing that it wasn't working.

"How do you know about that?" I whispered. "I didn't disclose that." I started to shake my head as I felt my chest tighten. "That's under control. It's not why I'm here. I can handle that." I could feel the panic filling my body as it felt like my whole body started to shake.

"You didn't think they would find out?" Harding laughed. I sat frozen staring at Nurse Ratched, not even acknowledging Harding. Billy leaned in front of me and glared at Harding.

"Can it Harding." Taber growled out.

"Well (Y/N). Does it make your depression worse?" Nurse Ratched reiterated. I could feel my breath coming in short bursts and my chest tighten even more than it already was.

"I don't have to tell you anything about that." I rasped. "That is not the reason I am here. That has nothing to do with this." I felt Billy's foot move off of mine and my eyes shifted over to see him looking down at his feet, his lips pressed into a thin line. "I refuse to talk about that Nurse Ratched."

"In therapy we talk about everything that could be affecting us. So this is a topic for discussion. Now answer the question." She answered in that annoyingly calm and cold voice. My eyes snapped back to her. It felt like my whole body was vibrating and I could feel the tears that had been welling up in my eyes finally fall down my cheeks. I tried to take deep breaths to calm my racing heart but it was hard when it felt like my chest had shrunken at least two sizes.

"P-p-please d-d-drop i-it Nurse Ratched." My eyes shifted back to Billy at the sound of his voice. "Th-th-they o-o-obviously d-d-don't wa-wa-want to t-ta-talk ab-b-bout it. P-p-please m-move on."

"Please listen to Billy Nurse Ratched." Chadwick spoke up. "You're making it worse. We can talk about something else." I had closed my eyes at this point to try and shut everything out.

"I don't see what the problem is. They can answer the question. It's a simple question." Harding butt in.

"And you have a simple mind Harding." Taber jumped in. I jumped as I felt Billy's hand on my arm.

"(Y/N). I want you to answer the question." Nurse Ratched pushed. I gripped Billy's hand, holding it on my arm and opened my eyes.

"No. It doesn't." I forced out. Nurse Ratched smiled in triumph at finally getting an answer. "Excuse me." I stood up, feeling Billy's hand fall off my arm. "I'm done here."

"Sit down (Y/N)." Nurse Ratched ordered. I stood there, fighting the panic attack that was still happening and trying to decide what to do. "Mr. Washington." Billy stood up and put his hand on my shoulder.

"(Y-Y/N). P-p-please s-sit d-d-down." His pleading voice broke through the haze I felt in my mind. I nodded and sat back down. "G-g-give th-them a ch-ch-ch-chance t-to c-c-calm d-d-down N-n-nurse R-ratched." Focusing on Billy, I didn't see the nod that she gave Billy.

"We will take a short break. When we get back we'll continue with (Y/N)." She stood up and went into the nurse's station, letting the remaining members of the circle walk around the day room for a few minutes. As soon as Nurse Ratched was out of the room, Taber and Chadwick were kneeling by my side. Billy pulled me into a hug and held onto me tightly.

"It's o-okay. J-just t-take a d-deep breath." Billy soothed. He gently ran a hand up and down my back while Taber put a hand on my knee.

"You're going to be okay (Y/N)." Taber reassured. Chadwick nodded and put a hand on my shoulder. Billy shook his head at Taber and Chadwick.

"(Y-y/n) I n-need you to f-follow my b-breath." Billy said as he moved one of my hands to his chest. "J-just c-copy it." I nodded against his neck as I tried to match his breathing.

"Please keep talking." I whispered. Billy nodded and started to whisper random things to me. Not long after, my breathing finally evened out and I slumped against him. Billy's arms tightened around me to keep me in my chair.

"A-are you o-okay?" He asked, concern lacing his voice. I nodded weakly against him.

"Just drained." I said, pulling back and looking at him. "Thank you." He smiled at me.

"N-no p-problem." A blush was making its way onto his face.

"Thank all of you." I turned towards Taber and Chadwick, taking their hands in mine and squeezing. "None of you had to do any of that. But you did anyway. That means a lot to me." Taber smiled at me and patted my knee before standing up and going back to his chair. Chadwick nodded and headed back to his. I stayed slumped against Billy for the time being. "You know when you are under pressure, your stutter lessens." Billy chuckled as he looked at me.

"N-no it d-doesn't." He defended. I nodded.

"Yes it does. When your confidence grows and you have to jump into action, it's not as bad." We shared a smile before breaking apart and watching Nurse Ratched walk back into the room.

"Are you ready to resume (Y/N)?" she asked as she took her seat again. I opened my mouth to respond. Billy beat me to it.

"L-let's m-move o-on N-n-nurse R-ratched." He defended. "Y-y-you al-already g-g-gave th-th-them a p-p-panic at-t-tack." The veins in Billy's neck stood out as he struggled to get some of the words out. My eyes widened as I watched him force himself to keep talking, even though he knew his stutter was getting worse. "Th-th-there are p-p-p-plenty of o-oth-thers here t-t-t-to t-t-talk ab-b-bout. I'm s-s-sure H-h-harding h-h-has m-m-m-more he c-c-c-could t-t-talk about." Nurse Ratched stared him down and I put my hand on his arm for reassurance.

"What would your mother say about this sudden bravado?" Nurse Ratched asked him. I watched as Billy's chin tilted up and he set his jaw.

"Sh-she w-w-would b-be g-g-glad I'm s-s-standing up f-f-for m-m-my f-f-friends." Billy responded. Nurse Ratched sat in shock before standing up and calling an end to the meeting. Everyone came by and patted Billy on the back before going back about their business. Once all the chairs were put away and everyone had left the two of us alone, I took Billy's hand and led him to a slightly more secluded area of the day room.

"Thank you again Billy. That really meant a lot to me. I don't know many people who would do that for me." I gave him another hug. "I owe you one." Billy hugged me tightly.

"Th-th-thank you (Y/N)." He whispered into my neck. "Y-y-you're a-amazing. B-besides I t-t-told you I w-w-would p-p-protect you." I nodded as I pulled away.

"You did just that today Billy." I smiled at him before hearing Taber calling for me. I turned towards him to see what was going on and saw that they were getting ready to head outside. "Thanks again Billy. I seriously do owe you." I leaned up and kissed his cheek, running off before I could see his reaction, my own cheeks burning red. I caught up to Taber and noticed him looking between Billy and I before smiling and shaking his head. A quick look over my shoulder explained why Taber had that reaction. Billy was standing there staring after me with a blush on his cheeks and his eyes holding an emotion I was too far away to recognize. I didn't dwell on it as we headed out.