C h a p t e r   S i x

I hated hesitation. 

Cole didn't reply. From the silence, I could tell he was thinking. However, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know anymore; wasn't sure if I could handle the cold, harsh truth. Before he had the chance to speak, I hung up.

Tossing my phone away, I embedded my face in a pillow and emitted a frustrated scream. Truth to be told, I didn't know what I was expecting him to say. Did I want him to tell me Blake lied?

Yes. A little voice echoed in my mind. Yes, you did.

Shut up, you're not helping. I told myself.

Removing the pillow from my face, I picked up the teddy bear he gave me when we first met. Memories flooded back, submerging me as a whole.

"Cole!" I chuckled lightly as he accidently sat on my sand pile, while I had believed was my house.

We were in a park eight years ago, when we were both third graders. The park was our usual spot of hangout. It's so important to me I still visit it from time to time – mostly when I'm feeling down.

He looked at me confusedly which made me giggled even more.

"You're sitting on my house."

Cole jumped up abruptly, "Where?" By the time he got up, the pile of sand was already obliterated by his bum. "Oh."

"It's okay." His face relaxed a little, "Sorry."

"It's fine, really." Handing him a baby blue shovel I asked, "Do you want to help me rebuild?"

"Yes."

"Great! Now take this shovel, Bob."

"Bob?" His eyebrows knitted together as he looked around him, searching for Bob.

"I was talking to you, dummy."

"But...my name's not Bob."

"Now it is, Bob the Builder."

We both burst into laughter. Wiping away a small tear, he said, "We can build a humongous castle and live there!"

I agreed instantly. It was a shame that we never finished it. The 'castle' would just collapse by the unstableness and the wind would somehow find a way to destroy it.

But it didn't matter; I was happy.

"Stupid teddy," I muttered.

A small tear trickled down my cheek. It's funny how I didn't realize I was crying. I held my arm out so the bear was dangling mid-air, right above the trashcan.

Even with all these painful memories, I couldn't let my hand go. Instead, I threw it across the room. It landed with a thump but I didn't pick it up this time.

[] [] []

"HE WHAT?!"

"Shh," I placed a finger on my lips. "Quite down!"

The next day after lunch I told Ava the whole story, from our talk before detention to what Blake had told me last night, but left out the part where Alec drove me home. Honestly, I didn't know why.

"Just let me kill that bitch!" I had to grab her by the waist to prevent her from tackling Monica.

"Stop it, it's stupid anyway."

She turned to face me. Worry filled her eyes, "You know he's not worth it, right?"

"Yeah."

Although I have been told multiple times, we both know that's not true. It is impossible to break a bond after such a long time. He was my everything.  As if on a cue, Cole walked in with Monica behind him.

"Hide me!" I whisper shouted.

We scrambled behind the lockers, right in front of the janitor closet. Could not hold back my curiosity, I popped my head out a little. "Get your head back here!" Ava scolded.

I clasped a hand on her mouth, hinting her to be quiet. From the corner of my eye, I watch Monica chased up to Cole. "Wait up!"

To my utter surprise, he ignored her and kept walking. Ambling faster, Monica caught up to him. She put a hand on his shoulder and spun him around. "What is wrong with you?!"

"What is wrong with you?!  I thought I made it clear that I didn't want anything to do with you!" He answered with fury, "Or was I not clear enough?"

He doesn't?

She appeared like she was about to say something, but bit her lower lip instead. "You'll regret this."

He just scuffed and continued walking – towards my direction. I know it wasn't the right time to make a 'because you can only walk in One Direction' joke, but I didn't anyways. I laughed mentally at my joke when Ava pulled my back. "Do you want to get caught?!" She hissed.

"Get caught from what?" Alec appeared behind her suddenly and asked.

"Nothing," Ava replied at the same time as I asked, "Were you in the janitor's closet?"

"Nope," Alec wriggled his eyebrows seductively, "But we can go there now."

"I'm not even gonna ask," Tanner joined.

I swear they show up at the most eccentric timing ever. Too busy focusing on the two boys; I didn't notice Cole behind me. "H-hi!" Ava greeted a little too nervously.  Tanner eyed her suspiciously.

"I got to go," I muttered and pushed my way out. "Elliot! Wait!"

Damn my stupid short legs. I cursed under my breath. Being a soccer team captain, Cole could easily out run me.  He did shortly after. Grabbing my wrist to prevent a runaway, he said, "Let me explain. I swear it wasn't how it sounds."

I didn't reply.

"She kissed me."

And I believed him.

It's ludicrous, I know, but I couldn't help it. Cole was like a black hole – he's astonishing yet dangerous. He attracted everyone around him and I fell for him without noticing. Even if he cheated on me with a ninety years old lady and destroyed the whole Earth, I would still forgive him.

"I just – I just need some time to think, okay?"

His lips tucked upwards slightly into a smile, "I think I can give you that."

"You think, bastard." I punched him lightly on the arm and he chuckled. "Really, though."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Stop flirting with me, you idiot!" A smile made its way up, I could feel our friendship again. It wasn't like before, but it was a step closer. He looked confused for a second, "Flirtin – Oh, please don't tell me this is another weird movie quotes of yours?"

"Book," I corrected, "Although it has been turned into a movie."

"So I was right."

"Half right," I corrected.

"Half right it is."

I replayed our conversation over and over again in my mind as I sat on the swing in the playground where we used to hangout. A smile reached my lips involuntarily. I rocked myself back and forth. Should I trust him again?

Yes! A little voice of mine squealed while another one disagreed, Of course not.

I picked up a small daisy from the ground. Slowly, I removed the pedals one by one.

I should.

I should not.

I should.

I should not.

"Love me, love me not," A new voice mimicked.

I should.

Relief brushed through me as I cheered mentally, yes!

I shot Alec a glare and dropped the now pedal-less stem, "That wasn't what I was thinking."

"I find that very hard to believe." He leaned against the swing set. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Says the person who's also out here late."

"Well, I was taking a walk."

"I was already here."

"Because that totally answers my question," sarcasm was clearly audible in his tone.

"I'm always here," I answered quietly, "ever since I was little."

"Just a feeling of nostalgia, huh."

I shrugged, "something like that."

Pushing himself off, Alec jogged towards me. "Need a push?"

"What am I? Nine?" I snorted. He was so close to me I could feel his minty breaths brushing off my head as he spoke.

"A push it is." Before I could react, he began pushing the swing lightly. With a little of my help, I flew. Or at least, that's what it felt like – in the clouds, through the rainbow, among the birds. I swung back and forth in the air with Alec chuckling beside me.

"Join me," I dared him.

"Challenge accepted." Within minutes, he was swinging as high as I was.

"You must be a good swinger when you were little," I chortled, kicking my legs in the air.

"The best," he answered.

We talked, bantered, and played around for the next few hours. At last, I lied on top of the lukewarm slide with Alec right next to me. I fluttered my eyes shut and inhaled the tropical, summery air.

"It's so beautiful," Alec breathed out.

"Hm?"

He pointed at the sky.

"Wow," I gasped. Before me was a picturesque sky in the colour of indigo. Stars glistened like diamonds and sparkled along with the glowing full moon.  Among the twinkling dots, one particular star glided through the midnight sky. "Oh my God, Alec, look! It's a shooting star!"

He chuckled lightly. "Make a wish, dummy."

I held my intertwined fingers on top of my chest. My lips tucked up slightly as I made a wish. Being with him made me forgot about everything that I have been through. It almost felt like we have never fought before, as if he was the one there with me the whole time, not Cole.

Somehow, that doesn't sound too bad either.

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author's note

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