The water was murky and dark, but Keith could still see the pale bright moonlight burning a hole in the cool water. It lit up the dark rocky cave he called home. 

He was at his usual post, floating outside the front entrance to watch what he could see of the world above. Shiro said he wasn't old enough to go out and see it. Still, he kept up the tradition, sacred hope, holiday, whatever you wanted to call it- but the fact stayed the same- he would always go out to look up and see what little he could catch of the world up there. 

"Old enough" for Shiro and Adam was when he hit his monsoon year and found his purpose. But that was something Keith now didn't want to talk about. 

The monsoon year was the year that a siren went through to find his or hers purpose, or the reason they are on the earth, to use that to live on for the rest of their lives. Some crazy, extravagant event would occur during the sirens monsoon year, which would always bring out whatever their purpose was.

Shiro loved to talk all about his monsoon year, and finding his purpose. But who wouldn't with a purpose like that? Shiro had been only 19, four years before the average monsoon year, when he found his purpose. A freak accident, security breach in Atlantis, that caused hunters to somehow get close to the secret city. Shiro was in his last year of academy, and been in a class during the incident. The teacher had panicked and left the students alone to fend for themselves. Luckily, there was no real danger. But they didn't know that. 

Shiro had taken it into his own hands to lead his peers to a safe hiding spot at the edge of Atlantis. Despite there being no real danger, he was still awarded for his courage and bravery. Which led him to his purpose- leadership- and the ceremony where he met Keith's parents. But that was all Keith knew about his real parents other than the fact that something tragic had happened to them, and he was left with Shiro. 

Keith always got upset that Shiro wouldn't tell him more about his parents, but he could always see that Shiro was too hurt to talk about it. So he left it alone. Besides Shiro and Adam were more than enough. 

Adam never talked about his monsoon year and his purpose. Keith knew that Shiro knew about it but he never asked for details. Another subject he didn't pry on. Another secret he didn't know. 

It was time for Keith's purpose to reveal itself. Or it had been. That night, that Keith was sitting out looking up at the moonlight breaking through the water, was the last night of his monsoon year. And he knew it. 

He stayed looking up at the waves ripple and break the view of the moon that had been so clear moments before. Then he rushed inside the cave to find Shiro and Adam splayed out on the big rock in the main area of the cave. They were holding hands and talking in hushed voices. 

The cave was split into three areas by big rock columns with crystals jutting out of them. Shiro's black fins twitched as Keith floated in, and he sat up to look him in the eye. 

Keith didn't meet his eyes, instead looking at Adam, whose gray and white fins twitched in sync with Shiro's. He whipped his head between Keith and Shiro, his brown hair floating slowly around his forehead. 

Shiro kept his eyes on Keith as Keith floated past them into the back area of the cave, his room. 

He curled himself on the cool rock ground and sighed. At some point, they would bring it up. But at the moment, he didn't want to talk about it. And they should understand. 

He had been through enough in his jacked up life, but this had to be the worst part. Sure, losing both his parents and never meeting them was hard but he never met them. So he didn't know what he was missing, he could move on. 

But not getting his purpose? Not knowing why he was on this earth? He mas well have been dubbed useless and thrown out into the dark sea. Or at least that's how he felt. 

And not even looking at that fact..sirens died if they didn't have their purpose for too long of a time..did this mean..

"Keith.." It was Adam, his voice calm and soothing. He leaned across the rocky column and watched Keith squirm. 

"I know you hear me." He said again before Keith rolled over and looked up at him. 

Adam floated in without permission and held out his hand. Keith hesitated before taking it. 

"It's okay Keith, this doesn't mean what you think it does-"

"So what does it mean? Because last time I checked, there was only one meaning." 

Adam furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't like being interrupted. And Keith knew his place by now. But when he saw how scared Keith looked in that moment, how fragile and vulnerable...

His eyes softened. "I know. But it's going to be okay. Shiro and I will find a way." 

"You'll take me to the council." The team that ran Atlantis, the team that dealt with problems in the siren world, such as sirens that didn't get their purpose on time. Useless, unimportant, late creatures. 

"Well yes-"

"No." Keith said. He looked Adam in the eye. Adam shook his head. 

"Keith- it's the only way for you to-"

"I don't want to. I want to go the surface instead. I'm useless now. I might as well just go up there and be spotted. Heck maybe I'll have a chance to have a purpose up there." He spat. 

"You know you can't. If you're discovered..our whole race is in danger."

"I know. I was just.."

"Yeah. I get it. You have big dreams, honestly I don't know why you'd want to go up there. We have all we need right here. Why risk it with all that mess?" Adam waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the sky, so far up but yet so close in Keith's eyes. He was so close. 

"Don't you mean all you need?" Keith pulled away. "Sure, this is great and all but tell me the last time I got a good grade at the academy, or the last time something good happened for me down here?" 

"You know good and well Shiro and I try. We really do." 

"I know but it doesn't do anything to change the fact that I'm useless!" 

Something sparked in Adam's eyes before he turned away. "We'll talk in the morning. Good night Keith." 

Keith didn't watch Adam's body leave the room but instead stared out the whole in the wall that he called a window, the bubbly moonlight seeming to only get farther away now. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith knew he slept late, from the burning sun on his back as he sat up, and the bustling noise of Shiro and Adam in the main area. Adam and Shiro always woke up late, hours after Keith had left for academy in Atlantis, before they left for their jobs. But it seemed as if they weren't going today. Family issues was a great way to put as the reason they weren't there. 

"Keith." Adam nodded at Keith as he walked in. Adam had been eating something- most likely fish again. It was always fish. 

He offered Keith but he denied. He felt sick enough. 

Shiro smiled at Keith, but Keith didn't return it, instead he layed on the rock and stared at the ground. 

Keith sensed Adam and Shiro sitting on either side of him, so he sat up and blinked. "Look I'm sorry for how I acted last night Adam-"

"It's fine, we understand how hard this must be for you. I don't know why I rushed a conversation on you like that. It was irrational and selfish..I thought.." Adam started. 

"Its fine." Keith shook his head. "Really, I just needed time to think it through." He was just being polite, if anything time to think was the worst idea. He only felt worse. 

He didn't like to think things over. Thinking only brought feelings, and deeper consequences. He was impulsive- just get it done, act on it, and deal with it later, it was easier. No strings attached or heavy emotions. 

"But it's not. This isn't something we can just let go either. So." Shiro countered. "Lets start small. How do you feel?" 

Keith laughed, "Thought I made it pretty clear last night- useless and small."

"But you're not, it's just a matter of time." Shiro said. 

"And who knows? Maybe it's not only a matter of time but a matter of who you meet. Maybe it's someone you have to meet to find your purpose?" Adam piped in. Keith gagged as Adam stared lovingly at Shiro. At first, the whole ordeal had been really cute but for over twenty years, it was borderline gross for him. 

"Maybe." Keith said weak and small. This wasn't what he wanted. Thinking.. deep emotions and feelings. His voice failed him. 

"So don't worry about it. And if it does take a little too long the council is always there to-"

"The council is nothing but a hoax. They're all fake and precious in their high thrones and diamonds." Keith scoffed. 

"Dont speak of them like that Keith. They built our world, and kept us safe all these thousands of years." Shiro said wisely. 

"Yeah well not all of them were good huh." Keith shot back. 

"Zarkon was handled with." Adam said smoothly. 

"So? It doesn't change the fact that any of them could be hiding some evil purpose to take over our world! If he did it anyone could." 

"Purposes are very careful things to deal with, even a dangerous one can be handled with care and no one gets affected." Shiro said. 

Adams face fell and he bit his lip. He looked ashamed and embarrassed.

"Well fuck purposes. For crying out loud, how great can they be? Some don't even get them." Keith was up now, fists balled. 

"Just because you don't have one doesn't mean everyone is on that level! Some people have amazing purposes like Shiro, and just because you might be useless doesn't mean everyone is!" Adam shot back, his face red and eyes glinting with rage. 

Keith crumpled backwards. Adam had never yelled at him before..though he'd come close. The tension was thick, and Keith's tears hot as he fled from the cave into the sunlight. He heard Shiro and Adam arguing behind him but he didn't look back. 

He kept going and going farther than he had ever been, even on his own, to an open clearing. The tears were hot and coming fast now, enough to blur his vision. 

Enough that he couldn't see. Enough that he didn't notice the net in front of him. Enough to get caught in the tight web of it. And enough to not escape. Enough to not cry out. 

Who'd hear him anyway?