κεφάλαιο δέκατο ένατο

Chapter Nineteen: Weird Dilemma

Krisha's Point of View

Russlee's first love is Therese. Russlee's first love is the very young mortal girl in the photo. Another mortal told him that the very young mortal girl in the photo is not Therese. But Russlee believe that the very young mortal girl is really his first love, and Therese.

So sino ba talaga ang first love mo, Russlee? Naguguluhan na 'ko nang sobra

​I mean, it doesn't really matter. Pero wala kasi siyang red string. Ang last resort talaga ay ang first love niya. How will I know who's the lucky mortal that can make him genuinely happy if I'm not going to look for her.

This is the first time that I felt the need of making a mortal happy. I think I am no longer doing this for the ranking. Just like what Kraft said. . . it's just a leaderboard. There's no benefit if ever.

Right, si Kraft! I'll be needing his help.

“Zoning out again, Miss Raffinah?” Si Big Boss, pinapalo niya pa nang mahina ang table ko. My table is made out of wood that's why it creates some noise. Nahihiya akong ngumiti sa kanya.

Ever since we went back here at our office, walang araw na hindi niya sinita ang pagzo-zone out ko. I mean, I just can't stop thinking about it!

Tapos hindi naman na 'ko makapagtanong ng karagdagang impormasyon. Sabi niya kasi huwag na akong magtanong pa ng mga tanong na tungkol sa personal na buhay niya.

“The next time I saw you taking a trip to another planet, I'll take you back in this world. I'll take you back in my world in a way that you wouldn't be expecting.”

Hindi ko maintindihan, wala akong naintindihan sa mga sinabi niya. We ended up staring at one-another. Him with a serious expression and me just looking at him with my mind filled with curiousity. This is my first time entering a staring contest.

I get what he said, I just didn't know what he meant.

Ngayon ko lang napansin na malapit pala ang mukha namin sa isa't isa. Agad na nag-init ang mga pisngi ko at nag-iwas ng tingin. Inatras ko pa nang bahagya ang swivel chair ko kasi pakiramdam ko ay nag-iinit na ang buong mukha ko. He stood up straight and crossed his arms, he gave me the sweetest smile that slowly became a teasing one.

“What are you thinking about, anyways?” He teasingly asked. I just avoided his gaze and whispered. “It's not 'what' it's 'who'.”

“You like murmuring huh, akala mo ba hindi ko naririnig? I have golden ears, Sweetheart. Don't tell me you're thinking about There—,” I cut him off.

“Curiousity killed the cat!”

“Just like what you said Sweetheart, satisfaction brought it back.” He smiled, the kind of smile that I've never seen before. Hindi siya ngumingiti masyado, but I can tell that the smile that he just flashed doesn't look genuine. Mukha talagang nang-aasar lang siya!

“I-I thought you d-don't like curious people?” I tried my best not to stutter but I just did.

So stupid, Krisha.

“I fed your curiosity, you have to feed mine in return. . . Miss Raffinah. So, why are you so curious about the late Therese Ramirez?”

He looks suspicious and at the same time still has that. . . mischievous! Mischievous is the right term to describe that smile!

I often see those kind of expression in movies. But this is the first time I'm seeing it in person. Even my silly best friend Kraft doesn't smile like that. Russlee looks wickedly naughty.

“Why, Miss Raffinah? Answer my que—,”

A savior!

“Anteh! Ano ba 'yang niret—Big Boss! Sorry po, lalabas na po ako.” Zylene is about to go out when Big Boss stopped her.

“Pwede na kayong mag-lunch, hindi naman importante ang pinag-uusapan namin ni Miss Raffinah. Right, Miss Esquivel?”

Hearing my fake surname that is also his surname gives me chills. . . in a good way.

“Right, Big Boss!”

➹ ➷ ➹ 𓆩♡𓆪➷ ➹ ➷

Hanging out with Zylene is draining. She's sucking all of my energy. Maganda 'yong naiwasan ko ang tanong ni Big Boss dahil sa biglaang pagsulpot niya. Pero sa sobrang daldal niya, parang naging masama ang pakiramdam ko.

She keeps complaining things about Benedict.

I don't even know why I feel this way. This is the first time that I felt this feeling. Parang umiikot ang paningin ko at parang gusto ko matulog. Sumandal ako sa swivel chair at tumingala.

I thought I'll be better through this position but my head's state just got worsen. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko para ma-relieve ang pakiramdam ko. I suddenly felt something in my lips that made me open my eyes.

It's Russlee. . . he's kissing me!

The heartbeat of my heart drastically changed. Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko! His lips are still on mine while his eyes are shut. I like what he's doing but at the same time I know that this is wrong! I broke the kiss and stood up.

Pero napaupo rin agad ako dahil sa sobrang pagkahilo. Isama pa ang napakabilis na tibok ng puso ko. Hindi ko na alam kung ano bang dapat kong gawin para lang maging maayos ang pakiramdam ko.

“Are you okay? Sh*t. I'm sorry, are you sick?” My vision is getting a bit blurry. Hinawakan ni Big Boss ang noo ko. Pumikit na lang ako dahil sa hilo na nararamdaman ko.

He was about to carry me but before lifting me a voice halted him. Pati ako ay nagulat dahil sa boses niya pero hindi ko na dinilat ang mga mata ko kasi nahihilo talaga ako.

“Krisha! Krisha!”

Nag-away silang dalawa. Russlee is telling Kraft that I'm his responsibility while Kraft wants to take me away from him. I don't want to leave this office. I don't want Kraft to take me away from him.

Hindi ko na maintindihan pa ang pinag-uusapan nila. My mind is filled with the pain that I feel. But the moment that Russlee said that he will take me to the hospital. . . I immediately stood up.

Muntik na 'kong ma-out of balance dahil sa hilo. Buti na lang nahawakan nila ang magkabilang wrist ko. I removed Russlee's hand to my left wrist and trusted all my weight on Kraft's earthly body.

“Take me away,” labag sa loob na bulong ko kay Kraft. He didn't waste any second, he carried me and we ran away from the office. As much as I want to stay more beside Russlee. . . the idea of a mortal checking out my earthly body is not a good idea.

My eyes are shut while Kraft is taking me away. Hindi ko alam kung nasaan na kami basta pakiramdam ko lang unti-unti nang bumabalik ang lakas ko. As soon as I felt a soft bed, I fell asleep.

➹ ➷ ➹ 𓆩♡𓆪➷ ➹ ➷

“What are you doing here? The night is a bit chilly.”

I felt Kraft's warmth when he hugged me from behind. Hindi ko alam kung dahil lang ba sa Christmas season 'to kaya medyo naaapektuhan ako ng lamig. Which is unusual cause I feel so cold to the point that it's affecting me.

We cupids doesn't really get affected by cold nor warmth. We just feel it like normal creatures can.

“Maayos na ba ang pakiramdam mo?” Kraft asked. Tumabi siya sa akin at pinatong niya rinang kanyang mga kamay sa railings. I didn't answer him.

I'm confused. Nagpunta ako rito sa rooftop pagkagising ko para makapag-isip pero wala akong maisip na matino. Halik lang niya ang tumatakbo sa isip ko.

“Kraft, do you feel that way too?”

“Feel what?”

“We used to say that we're fake cupids in the past. . . right? I'm just wondering if you ever felt that kind of sickness too, 'yong parang mamamatay ka na sa sobrang sama ng pakiramdam mo.”

I can feel him staring at me. I'm just staring at the abyss of darkness here at our realm. Still wondering why I started to feel and experience new things ever since I worked as his secretary. Is not that I don't want those. . . I'm just really confused.

“The next time I saw you taking a trip to another planet, I'll take you back in this world. I'll take you back in my world in a way that you wouldn't be expecting.”

That popped out randomly in my head. I want him to take me back to his world. I just want to feel his presence all the time. Okay lang sa akin na maging secretary niya forever basta lang makita ko siya.

I'm willing to go wherever realm, world, or dimension he is in this universe that we're in.

“Kraft?” Baling ko sa kanya kasi hindi niya pa rin sinasagot ang tanong ko. Nakatitig lang siya sa 'kin nang mapanuri.

“A lot has changed over the past few weeks, I felt it.”

“Kraft. . . you didn't answer my question.” I just want to have an answer. He's already stating the obvious with that change! Talagang maraming nagbago, hindi na maipagkakaila ang pangyayari na iyon.

“Oo naman. . . all cupids can get sick if they stayed for too long in the world of mortals. Para tayong device, Krisha. Itong headquarters ang charger natin.”

Pero bakit parang ang nagbibigay ng lakas sa akin ay si Russlee? I feel fine whenever he's near me. I feel happy whenever I see him. Sometimes he makes me feel nervous because of the way he looks at me. I'm so addicted in spending my time near him.

They say that being immortal is a curse. . . but if I'm going to live my immortal life with him, I would gladly embrace that curse.

“Kraft. . . anong feeling ng in love?” Napalunok si Kraft sa tanong ko at seryosong tumingin sa akin. He rubbed his eyebrow and sighed then finally answered my question.

“Based on my observation. Someone is crazy in love when their happiness is that creature they are in love with. They are over the moon whenever they spend their time with them. Pero being in love is like a package deal. Hindi lang puro saya. . . may selos, inis, at kung minsan kalungkutan din.”

“Why are you asking though, have you ever been in love?” Kraft asked and raised his right brow. I was about to tell him my feelings. Sasabihin ko sanang na-realize ko na in love ako kay Kevin Russlee. . . but the next words that came out from his mouth stopped me.

“Why am I even asking that question. I'm sorry, Krisha for asking that absurd question. Right, we're cupids. . . kahit kailan hindi natin mararanasan ang ma-fall in love.”

At this point, I know that I should keep my feelings hidden. It's not that I don't trust Kraft. Hindi niya lang talaga ako maiintindihan ang nararamdaman ko para kay Russlee.

Ikaw ba Kraft, have you ever been in love?

He took his hand phone from his pocket and opened it. Nagulat ako dahil sa nakita ko. He clicked the flashlight. Tinutok niya sa mukha niya at parang nananakot. I don't have time for jokes so I snatched his hand phone and I looked back to his lock screen.

“Sino 'to???” I curiously asked. The photo in his lock screen is the exact photo that Russlee have.

“Uhm. . . let me explain so kasi ano Krisha ganito 'yan. I. . . I. . .—”

“You what??? Please just go straight to the point Kraft. . . I'm begging you.” Hindi ko na ma-control ang nararamdaman ko. I badly want to know the identity of the very young mortal girl.

“Krisha please, huwag ngayon. Masasabi ko rin sa 'yo pero huwag ngayon, sige na!” Now he's the one who's begging me. Nairita ako kaya initsa ko sa kanya ang hand phone niya.

“Arrivederci!” I made my way back to my room. Kraft knows something. I can feel it! Pero hindi niya sinasabi sa akin.

Akala ko ba best friends kami? We don't have secrets! His actions are breaking me right now.

I opened the Red String Map and clicked all the icons that my cursor lands to. That very young mortal girl is alive for sure! If Kraft has a photo of her, she's in this map.

The biodata of all of the icons here only has a single photo of the mortal who owns the icon. It's their childhood photo. Nabubuo ang red string ng isang mortal habang bata pa sila and that explains why.

Sumasakit na ang likod ko kakahanap. Pero hindi ako tumigil. . . kahit pa ma-click ko na lahat ng icon na nandito sa Red String Map ay gagawin ko! Mahanap lang ang babaeng iyon.

➹ ➷ ➹ 𓆩♡𓆪➷ ➹ ➷

Wala namang kasiguraduhan na mahahanap ko siya through tapping all the icon that I see but I still did it. Day and night, dire-diretso. Walang tigil. . . hanggang sa napasuko na lang ako kasi ilang gabi na 'kong walang tulog.

I'm tired and I feel so stupid. What if wala naman pala talaga sa Red String Map ang batang babae? What if nasa realm na pala siya ni Hades? There's a billion people in the world of mortals. Imposibleng mahanap ko ang babae.

Mahihiga na sana ako para matulog pero tumunog ang hand phone ko kaya dinampot ko iyon. Pinakamaraming messages si Zylene. Quincent has few, but I only got interested by the messages of a single mortal.

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
How are you? I hope you're okay.
Friday, 7:39pm

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
I can't sleep, you're making me worry so damn much.
Friday, 11:48pm

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
Good morning! I hope you're getting better now. Don't forget to eat on time, huwag kang magpapagutom ;)
Saturday, 7:00am

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
I'm here at my main office, working.
Saturday, 9:50am

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
I'm worried. Nagpunta ako rito para ma-distract pero iniisip ko pa rin kung anong lagay mo.
Saturday, 10:10am

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
I went home. I can't stand to see your desk without you working :(
Saturday, 10:26am

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
Hello! I'm sorry, am I being nosy? Sorry... Worried lang talaga ako.
Sunday, 5:07am

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
I'm actually expecting to see you here at work. You're empty desk makes me miss you.
Monday, 8:34am

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
Please come back :'(
Wednesday, 8:00am

Hey Big Boss! Don't worry, I'm fine promise! I'll go back. Bukas na bukas papasok ako! *salute*
Wednesday, 8:53pm

From: 09xxxxxxxxx
BUTI NAMAN SUMAGOT KA NAAA... I did my best not to send more messages kasi baka nakukulitan ka na. Can I call you? I want to hear your voice :(
Wednesday, 8:53pm

I called him. I miss his voice too. I miss his presence. I miss his smell. I miss being near him. I can be his secretary forever. I may not be the one for him but still. . . I still want to be near him.

“Heyyyy, okay na 'ko hehe.”

“You made me so worried, Miss Raffinah.”

“I'm sorry for not filing a leave. Huwag kang magagalit sa akin haaa.”

“I'm also sorry. I'm sorry for kissing you. I should have not done that without your permission.”

I just stayed silent. He shouldn't be sorry for it. Ginusto ko, at kung tatanungin ako. . . gusto kong gawin ulit. But I know that this is wrong. A mere cupid like me shouldn't be in a relationship.

A matchmaker and a mortal? Impossible.

yeojacosmos