_Chapter 46~ Don't Push Me Away_

          It was hard to speak. Aki's last yell had provoked Ryu to go as stiff as a statue and him, irked by this all, then shouted at us to figure this out ourselves before storming off.

          A heavy silence floated into the air, and I found it difficult to raise my gaze from my shoes. My heart felt like lead in my chest, my throat completely dry. I couldn't find it in me to swallow—muster any words to say.

          Koshiro? Wasn't that the name those delinquents had brought up? What did that mean? Those delinquents that cornered me... they were involved with Aki and Ryu? My lips pressed together. Although this was supposed to be the solution to mend the rift between Ryu and I why was this suddenly becoming a confusing mess instead?

          The slight movement of Ryu that I caught from my peripheral vision caused my head to jerk upwards. When I settled my vision onto him I saw the vivid wistfulness enveloping his features. It was clear he was despondent about something—and such a thought was able to spurn a stinging feeling in my own heart.

          "I-Iwasaki...."

          I didn't even the realize I produced my voice until he turned to look at me. Immediately, his countenance grew somber and he quickly pivoted on his foot, hastening down the road we came from.

My mouth fell in surprise and I stood there, immobilized for awhile. Biting hard on my lower lip, I pushed past the reluctance holding my feet in place and pursued him.

"Iwasaki," I called out, attempting to catch up with his fast strides. "Wait! Iwasaki!"

"Don't follow me!"

My body recoiled back a step, not expecting to hear the venom in his voice. He froze in place also, as if in regret. Due to the darkness, I was only able to spot his back from the streetlights hovering above us.

"But..." I started, swallowing back the lump growing in my throat. "Look, I'm sorry for tricking you about that delinquent stuff. But Aki's the one—"

"If you want to listen to that idiot's ideas, why don't you go after him instead?" Ryu snapped, voice not harbouring any means of nonchalance in the least. "Figure out another way to needlessly worry me."

"I... Iwasaki, I-I'm sorry," I sputtered, feeling the prickling sensation at the corners of my eyes. This was different from all our other arguments, that was for sure. And it was only leaving me with a horrible premonition.

"You've gotten too involved with me," Ryu said, tentatively. "You... shouldn't stick around neither Aki, I, nor even anybody else in that academy if you want to be kept safe."

"Kept safe?" I echoed, unable to believe my ears. "Iwasaki, what happened the day I ended up in the hospital wasn't your fault!"

"It was! You don't know it, but it was." Ryu swivelled around to face me, running his fingers through his hair. "I tried to ignore the fact after Aki told me, but I can't anymore. You've already gotten injured enough because of me; multiple times, too."

"I haven't gotten hurt because of you!" I snapped, my voice rising an octave. "I'm just an idiot so I do things without thinking all the time! Even sitting on your lap that day—I was one not focusing on my surroundings! If only I did look before I sat down. If I did—"

"—you wouldn't have to had gotten involved with me," Ryu finished for me, dropping his head and balling his fists. "Shoved to the ground and humiliated—all because I'm an ass that only wanted to keep everyone away from my life so I wouldn't have to hurt anyone anymore. And yet look where I've come; absolutely nothing has changed."

My heart had stopped in my chest; I was stuck staring at Ryu all frozen and stiff, unable to even formulate a retort despite the need to. All my previous thoughts and ideas about the guy when we first met flashed through my mind. Was I right? Did Ryu put up that facade for a reason? I couldn't wrap my head around the answer as to why but I did know being around him as much as I have that he really was misunderstood.

He was big, and whenever he frowned he was definitely intimidating. Even still, he could be extremely kind and caring; selfless too. If I'd just known about this soft-hearted side of him back when we first met, maybe things would've unfolded differently—maybe I wouldn't have had to hate him like I did. But regardless of what may have happened in the past, right now he had seriously grown to mean so much to me that I didn't want to let it all fade to nothing.

"It'd be better off if I can just get myself to hate you and finally leave you alone," Ryu said, angling his body in a manner to leave yet again.

My jaw plummeted at the notion, my heart sinking further in my chest. Hate...? Grasping onto my skirt, I glared at him through my blurry vision.

"Wh-what are you saying? You can't! Iwasaki... I don't want you to hate me!"

Ryu stiffened, grey eyes widening as big as saucers. His face flickered with immediate remorse. His neck fell the slightest and he stood there for a while, as if repenting the idea.

"I-I don't think I can hate you, anyway. But..." Ryu's words trailed off as I came to a halt in front of him, craning my neck up and meeting his eyes. The frown on Ryu's face deepened as he took my hand in his, momentarily considering the lingering bandages and scratch marks across my arm. "You're too kind to me, Kikuchi. You don't care if I keep involving myself with you? Even if it's selfish of me?"

"I'm the one being selfish," I admitted, chewing on my lower lip to keep it from quivering. "Even though I know you're trying to look at what's best for me, I can't bring myself to agree. I don't want to end things like this. Because I..."

I stopped myself from continuing, not knowing if it was okay to say it. I already said it once and he shrugged it aside. Even still, maybe if I... Before I could go through and muster up the courage, all my thoughts were dispelled the moment Ryu went to intertwine our fingers. My core felt as if it would explode due to how fast and hard my heartbeat spiked in my chest. From our minimal distance I could even spot traces of a smile evident in his countenance. "So you were serious that day?" Ryu asked me, his whisper only obstructing my heart rate more than I wanted.

I couldn't halt the blush that had grown across my cheeks. I hung my head, scuffing my feet in embarrassment. "I was very much serious and yet you shrugged it aside like that," I murmured with puffed cheeks.

"I thought I was getting ahead of myself," Ryu responded, and one look into his eyes I was assured he was telling the truth. "I mean, you liking me? I thought I could only dream about something like that."

Relief rushed through my veins. I wasn't getting ahead of myself after all? But the sound of Ryu's words... My eyebrows had shot up to my hairline as I opened my mouth, "Wait, you too...?"

There wasn't even the slightest pause on his end.

"Of course I like you," Ryu responded, and once again turned solemn. "More than I can ever say. But that's why—more than that—I don't want to see you get hurt anymore. I want you to stay happy and unharmed; not like this: injured and involved in the troublesome life I've left behind me. But if you continue to get more involved with me—get any closer...."

          My heart fluttered in my chest. He made that border between us for a reason. That tough, impenetrable border that had gone from him being so unsociable and hostile to soft and fragile. Because he was scared. Because he didn't want to see anybody else in pain—after whom I could guess had been this 'Koshiro.'

        "Iwasaki, I already really like you," I finally spoke, newfound warmth creeping onto my cheeks. "And... even if something is holding you back and you're not ready for a relationship or anything like that now, just know I'm fine with that. I can wait."

          I inwardly tensed at my words, not wanting to see his reaction. I forced myself to regardless.

          Ryu's lips were pushed out in the shape of a pout as his grip around my hand tightened. "You shouldn't be telling me this, Kikuchi. You're making it harder for me to push you away."

          In response, a sheepish smile reached my face. "That doesn't sound like such a bad thing to me," I bashfully admitted. "But, you know, whatever works for you."

          That successfully managed to lift the tension and Ryu's lips quirked up for a split moment. I looked up at him, into his reeling eyes, ignoring how red I probably was. I felt somewhat reassured that I wasn't the only one feeling flustered because illuminated by the streetlights above us was an equally nervous Ryu.

        "I'm sorry," he finally said.

        "Like I said, it's fine."

        "No, it's not," Ryu refuted. "It's just... I don't want anymore people from my past going after you. I really don't want to hurt you more than I already have."

        "You haven't hurt me," I assured him. "If it'll make you happy, I don't mind waiting, Iwasaki. Really."

         Ryu honestly seemed ready to tear up. Without warning, he crashed me into a hug, squeezing my gently within his arms. "I do want to be with you," he murmured into my shoulder. "Really badly."

         I giggled at his unexpected cuteness. "I get it, Iwasaki."

         "No you don't," he said, his grip tightening. "You mean so much to me. I can't believe someone as amazing and beautiful as you actually likes me and wants to be with me. It feels like I'm going to wake up from this dream any second now. I'm sorry, Kikuchi, that I can't do anything more for you."

          I returned his hug, smiling from ear to ear. "What are you talking about? You've done enough for me. I did come to like you for a reason didn't I?"

           "Ugh, stop being so cute," he whined into my shoulder. The tips of his ears were bright red, indicating he was most likely blushing as red as a tomato. "How hard are you going to make me fall for you before you're satisfied?"

           My heart throbbed in surprise. I ignored the tingly sensation at the pit of my stomach and the flushing of my face. Embarrassment swept over me like a blanket.

             "Y-you're the one that needs to st-stop," I stammered, my voice inaudible to me due to the erratic pounding of my heart in my ears. "You're always messing with my heart all the time."

            "I mess with your heart?" he asked with a chuckle. "Aww."

            My face burned. "How is that 'aww'? M-mess with your own heart!"

            "I can't. You've already stolen it."

            My insides melted without consent and I retreated from his hug. "H-hey! Th-that's cowardly! S-say this cheesy stuff to my face."

          He quickly saved himself and lifted me off the ground, laughing, "No way, that's embarrassing."

          "Cheater! Just because we reached an understanding—"

          "I really do like you, Kikuchi." Setting me back down on my feet, he bent down and lightly pecked my cheek. "One day, when we're clear from this all, I want to be able to make you happy."

           Gingerly clenching the fabric of my skirt, I couldn't halt the tears that welled in the corners of my eyes. I could still feel the warmth of his lips on my cheek, only furthering the bittersweetness of the mood. "You're saying that a little too late."

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This is so satisfying to write lmao. The ship has officially sailed... Almost? And after such a long time, too. Ryu and Reina just click don't they? I remember used to find it so difficult to picture them together but now I can't see anything else. (I guess we have Aki the wingman to thank xD).

Any who, I apologize for not updating sooner! But trust me when I say it was because of a very good reason! (Besides being swamped with a bunch of exams or quizzes every other day...that was a nightmare, too).

As guys may know, I really wanted to finish this story by the end of May and that's why I worked extremely hard to write the story as fast as I could. And because of that, here I am, basically finished the book! :3 Now I just have to go back and edit everything so it'd be ready to publish.

So now I'll be updating a chapter daily, or possibly even more than one. Since June is exam month for me before I'm free for the summer I'll still be really busy so even if I do miss I day I'll be sure to make it up somewhere else. And very soon all the chapters will be uploaded yippee.

That's all from me haha, but really thanks guys. It's all because of you and I can't thank you enough. Vote, & comment! 💞

-Misty