_Chapter 45~ Feelings_

         "Kikuchi-senpai! Let's spend lunch together!"

          Groggily raising my head from my desk, I rubbed my eyelids and took in the male standing at the foot of my desk, grinning from ear to ear. I blankly stared at him for awhile, trying to make sense of the presence of the redhead. "What?" I eventually mustered out, attempting to cover the yawn threatening to leave my mouth by the use of my hand.

         Aki let out a laugh, leaning forward so he could catch a good glimpse of my face. "Were you sleeping in class? Tsk, tsk. That's no way for a student to spend their time. Did you not get enough rest yesterday?"

          "Not much at all this entire weekend." I yawned once more, dropping my face back onto my desk in a way of face-planting. I shut my eyes, not wanting to even recall the reason as to why.

         Which was why I wasn't even the least bit surprised to hear the hostility oozing from the voice beside me.

          "Who gave you the permission to come barging in here?"

        My heart heavy in my chest, I bit on my lip to keep it from quivering. Why was he standing up for me?

   "I don't need permission," Aki snapped at his older brother. "I'm just here to spend quality time with my senpai—something that shouldn't concern the likes of you."

          Ryu visibly fumed. "Kikuchi isn't forced to comply to anything you say."

          "Neither do you have the obligation of interfering so butt out," Aki growled. He snagged me by the arm. "Come with me, Senpai. I don't want to be anywhere near this guy."

          Left with no other choice but to relent to Aki's persistent tugs, I rose my head from my desk. Ryu immediately sprung from his seat, clasping onto Aki's arm that was holding me. "Let go of her."

         Aki glared daggers into the male. "I don't think I will."

           Ryu stiffened at first before strain breached his features. "If you're only doing this to get on my bad side, you don't have to keep this up. Trust me, you've already earned yourself on the list."

           A scoff left Aki's mouth. "You flatter yourself too much. I just happen to like spending time with Kikuchi-senpai. What's it to you?"

          Ryu's fingers balled into fists. "Aki, you...."

           A frown tilted down the corners of my lips as I watched this all unfold. The entire classroom, filled with minimal amount of students, were too absorbed in their own conversations to really regard what was going on. I guessed it was because they were already exposed to this all from the Cultural Festival.

          Swallowing back all traces of my lingering resentment, I glanced Ryu's way. His gaze flickered over to me, only managing to make my heart swell with unnecessary emotion. Similar to the other night, only concern and slight surprise coated his expression. Unable to keep our eye-contact up, I dropped my gaze onto the floor. I shrugged Aki's hand off of me, hastening towards the doorway.

          It wasn't long after I turned into the hallway did I hear footfalls come pursuing after me. Aki and I fell into step, his eyelids fluttering opened and closed in rapid motions.

           "Whoa," he eventually mustered out. "I did not expect you to give him that kind of look." Pausing, a tiny smirk plastered itself onto his face. "Does this mean I've moved up to the top of your favourites scale?"

          Not bothering to humour Aki as he would've liked, instead a heavy sigh pushed past my lips as I slumped my posture. I leaned against the wall, sighing yet again. Walking with my shoulder pressed up against it, I abruptly collided into a pole propped in my path. I winced in pain as I drew backwards.

"Ouch..." I murmured, rubbing at my nose. It hurt. Then again, at least it wasn't as painful as it was then....

          Just as another loud breath escaped my mouth, Aki hurried to my side, clearly frazzled. He seized my arms, scanning my face with his eyes. "Are you okay, Senpai?"

          "Oh, so you care about my pain?" I asked in monotone, blanking my features. "That's nice. At least you care about my feelings."

          Aki stared at me for awhile before his left eyebrow quirked the slightest. "Is something going on?"

          "With me?" I humourlessly laughed, shifting my gaze to the floor. "Oh, no. Nothing at all. I'm perfectly fine. Empty inside, but fine. Don't worry about it."

          Aki deadpanned. "Senpai, if this was an anime you'd be that gloomy character in the corner growing mushrooms right now."

"That sounds amazing. I want to live in a corner... away from people and these heavy feelings...."

           Aki was quiet, and seeing no means of response from me, he eventually pursed his lips. With the roll of his eyes, Aki turned around and went in the direction of my classroom. I followed him with my eyes and seconds later he emerged with my lunch in hand, and a shout—probably something back at Ryu—before reaching me once again.

        He immediately fastened his fingers over my wrist and dragged me through the halls. I went along with his wishes, allowing myself to be maneuvered around the school and also up the flight of stairs that led to the rooftop. He shut the door behind him and seeing as we were the only two people up here, I blankly surveyed our surroundings.

          "Why did you bring me—"

           "You must be hungry, Senpai," Aki cut me off, wringing his arm around my neck and leading me towards the benches.

            He took a seat and forced me down beside him. Then, he began to fiddle with the cloth encasing the bento, prying away the chopsticks as well. Once revealing the lunch I barely recalled ever making this morning, Aki picked something up and extended it out to me.

"Eat it," he ordered.

My lips clamped at the sight of the rolled omelette. "I'm not too hungry—"

I was cut off by Aki plopping it into my mouth before I could go on. Eyes wide, I carefully began to chew the food. I inwardly cringed at the taste but forced it down the hatch regardless. Frowning at my response, Aki used the same chopsticks and put one into his own mouth. Straightaway, his mouth plummeted, tongue extended out for emphasis. He wasted no time to spit it out into the nearby bush.

"Bleh, this is disgusting!" he exclaimed, pushing the lunch away from him and wiping his mouth.

I shrugged. "It tasted good to me."

"It's bitter!" Aki reasoned in disbelief.

"Like my soul," I finished, void of any emotion.

I reached out for my lunch, picking up the chopsticks from his fingers and choosing another omelette to eat. Before I could put it into my mouth, Aki swatted the food away rather dramatically, causing it to hit the cement.

"Oh jeez, you're trying to poison yourself, Senpai," Aki concluded, jaw-dropped. "No! Who did this to you?"

I shoved him away from me, not appreciating his words. "Leave me alone."

"Not until you tell me who hurt you," Aki replied. "I'll go deal with him or her perfectly. Just give me a name and consider them gone from your life."

I made a face. "That's terrifying. Don't say that."

"I'm serious!" he told me. He sniffled with an exaggerated hand to his chest. "Seeing Senpai sad makes me sad! I want to help you."

           I fiddled with the chopsticks in my fingers. "So melodramatic."

          "Was it Iwasaki?"

           Aki's accuracy only managed to squeeze my heart. My lips downturned rather dejectedly and a gasp left Aki's mouth as a result.

           "M-my brother... No way. He wouldn't... There's no way the guy would be able to live with himself if he hurt you! Have you seen him around you? Are we talking about the same Iwasaki here?"

"I honestly don't think he did it on purpose," I mumbled, pouting. "But he just brushed it aside like that...."

Though looking about ready to confront the guy himself, Aki managed to calm himself down. He waited. "Why? What happened?"

Despite knowing it made sense of me to spiel, I couldn't help but grow flustered. Aki's curiosity only allowed for heat to creep onto my cheeks.

"I-I... I mean... It was a spur of the moment kind of thing... b-but... I just couldn't stop myself from...."

Aki blinked. "Wait... what did you do?"

"I-I just... I mean I..." I had flushed ten shades darker as I stammered. "Agh! I can't believe I even said that! There could've been better opportunities!"

"W-wait, what?" Aki was utterly puzzled. "You're not making any sense, Senpai. You—"

"I told him I like him!" I finally mustered out, squeaking and bending over to hide my face. "I actually said it. To his face. It was just, he was being sweet and I couldn't—I mean, I should've waited but... Ugh and even though he went stock-still for a bit he simply said he liked me too but clearly without any deep emotion and I— I went for it too soon didn't I? I screwed up, right? And now he's just acting so nonchalant about it and I feel like such an idiot. Why's he so oblivious anyway? Wasn't I clear enough? I couldn't even sleep a wink since the Cultural Festival and now I don't know how to face him and how to feel but I do know I still like him a lot and I just— I have no idea what to do."

After withering in mortification for a  good period of time, I was quite surprised to hear nothing but silence from Aki. My heart dropped to my gut as a result. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Especially to somebody like him. The guy lived for this kind of blackmail. Still, I was one that easily succumbed to pressure. And honestly, Aki's unyielding knowledge about everything could be a useful resource, considering I was lost on what to do.

Shifting my head in Aki's direction, I peeked through my fingers to see his reaction. I was quite startled to see that a wide smile had somehow wormed its way onto his face.

"I knew you liked my brother," Aki chuckled after a long pause. "Ha ha... you're so obvious, Senpai."

I sat up straighter in my seat, slightly sour. "Clearly I'm not obvious enough...."

"Trust me, I know my brother is dense," Aki told me with a snort. "But even more than that, I know how much more he cares about you."

"As a friend, right?"

"Well," Aki mused, sending me a wink. "I'm thinking this is more of a misunderstanding. He most likely told himself that you were the one kidding around when you said 'I like you.'"

My eyebrows furrowed together. "But... I wasn't kidding! I was serious!"

"I know, I know. And it's cute," Aki cooed, lurching to his feet. "Yet also disheartening. But why not; how about I give you a little comfort today?"

"Comfort?" I repeated after Aki, paying heed as he rose from his seat.

A tiny chuckle left the male's mouth as he spared me one last glance. He sent me a final wink. "As much as helping him out annoys me, this does seem like it'll be fun. Iwasaki will owe me, too. Besides, if I get to see you back to your regular self after all this I think that'll have the most merits."

I blinked rapidly. "Um...I lost you at comfort," I confessed.

The redhead rolled his eyes. "Just listen," he said, leaning over to whisper in my ear. "This is the plan...."

*            *            *

           Aki's elaborate scheme was to reenact the event of me being swarmed by delinquents before I got sent to the hospital. How he knew about that, I didn't ask, but he'd already gathered up the puppy-eyed delinquents that typically surrounded me to put it into action.

          Each one of them were dressed in another school's uniform—for a reason I was too afraid to question—and practiced their hostility with the guidelines Aki provided. The plan was simple, apparently. I was to head home with Ryu as I constantly did, and the delinquents would randomly jump out on us.

            I was extremely wary of the plan since I first heard it, but Aki didn't let me refuse. He was the type that once he made up his mind, he stuck with it.

            The walk between Ryu and I was silent, and it was difficult to really speak. When the time finally arrived to initiate the plan and I had to pretend to be as terrified as I could, guilt relentlessly gnawed at the base of my stomach. Especially as Ryu went on to save me, 'easily' intimidating those delinquents that ran off saying they'd 'never forget this!'; more so, when we were officially in the clear and he looked as if he were going to cry when he asked if I was all right.

           My insides honestly melted like goo. It was really then that I could sense the truth behind Aki's words from earlier. Besides my family, nobody had ever pertained the same kind of reaction towards me; never withheld the same care for my well-being the way he constantly did.

           "Why do I end up getting you into situations like this all the time?" Ryu murmured after asking for the umpteenth time if I was okay. "I don't want you to get hurt anymore."

            "Iwasaki, I'm fine," I quickly assured him, unable to meet his eyes due to the shame that overwhelmed me. I shouldn't have agreed to this. "A-Aki, he—"

            "Would I... have to stay away from you?" Ryu's question caused my neck to jerk upwards in disbelief. "If I keep my distance, I wouldn't have to hurt you—anybody else."

            "Iwasaki, I'm fine!" I reiterated, latching onto his sleeve. "Look, I'm healthy."

            Ryu frowned, reaching for my wrist that still contained bandages. "You're still hurt, Kikuchi. And as long as you stay near me...."

            This wasn't going according to plan at all! "Iwasaki," I tried again. "I'm the one that gets myself into these situations! You have nothing to do with them!"

             "Yes, I do," he snapped, squeezing my wrist as he did. "And I'm never able to protect you—from anything. I'm useless to have around. I'm baggage."

            "No, you're not!" My mouth moved wordlessly for brief moment. "Iwasaki, I—"

            "Are you kidding me right now?"

            Both of our eyelids shot towards the owner of the voice—Aki—who stood there with clear dubiousness in his eyes.

            Ryu immediately glowered at him. "Are you the one that did this—"

             "Even if I did, you have to be freakin' kidding me, Iwasaki," Aki began, grounding his teeth. "What do you mean keep Kikuchi-senpai away? Don't you care about her?"

             Ryu flinched. "That... That shouldn't concern you."

             "It sure as hell does!" Aki bellowed, his voice echoing in the silent neighbourhood. "Are you chickening out because you don't want to come to her rescue whenever she's in trouble? Because you sure as hell can protect her if you actually grow a pair and never let her leave your side!"

            I faced Aki, gulping hard. "Aki, that's a little...."

            "Don't even cover for him," Aki snapped, platinum eyes scrutinizing Ryu. "I can't believe his nerve. If the person he cares about is in obvious danger his idea is to run away?"

            "I'm not running away! And I know that better than anyone!" Ryu declared, making my heart skip a beat. "You already told me the people who cornered her were because of me."

             Aki's lips met, strained with blatant discomfort. "I don't know who sent them, but that's why you should—"

             "And if... that's the case, I can't be beside her," Ryu cut him off, looking so solemn as he uttered the words. "I'm going to hurt her."

              Aki irritation had grown ten-fold at the sight of my face. I hadn't meant for my expression to fall at the news, but it had.

             "Kikuchi-senpai has feelings for you, idiot! She actually likes you, likes you!" Not expecting Aki's words, my heart stopped in my chest. Ryu was clearly caught off guard as well. Embarrassment seized me entirely and I'd gone beet red, gawking at Aki. "So get your head out of your ass, actually open up your ears and at least try to think about how she would feel if you did that!"

            "H-h-hey!" I cried. I swerved towards Ryu. "U-um, A-Aki isn't..."

             My words trailed off when Ryu met my gaze, rivalled with an unbelievable amount of surprise. Though, as if processing Aki's words, Ryu only appeared sadder than I'd ever seen him. "Kikuchi... doesn't deserve to like someone like me."

             His words had whizzed past my ears, filling me with nothing but sorrow. Aki was right. Ryu probably did realize it when I said it to him but shrugged it aside on purpose. But why? What did he mean then? That he'd stop concerning himself with me? Because I liked him? Because I cared about him?

"Are you still holding that against yourself?" Aki spoke up with scorn. "You couldn't have stopped it. And even if you are wallowing in that pool of self-pity, it's not going to change anything from the past if you're not going to be there to protect her!"

             Ryu aimed a meagre glare his way. "Aki, you don't understand."

             "Of course I understand! I was there first-hand—with you, Keisuke and Raidon," Aki growled, more on his behalf than mine. "When are you going to accept the fact that Koshiro's not around anymore and there's no changing that?"