_Chapter 39~ Who I Am_

          It felt like someone was drilling a hammer at my head. Relentlessly.

          My eyes glued to the ceiling, I lie on my bed, my throat aching of dehydration. Light flooded in from the windows, indicating that morning had arrived. But that was just one of the many realizations that had hit me in my groggy state; and honestly, the main thought wasn't exactly doing me any good. What day was it today?

          Swallowing down my queasiness the best I could, I hauled my body upwards with all the energy I was able to muster. I reached over to my nightstand and clicked my home button for my phone, instantly lighting up my screen. Though I stared and stared, the time of 10:17 AM and the date of Monday, September 4th were things I couldn't quite digest.

          I was super late for school.

          The pulsating of my head made me shut my eyes tight as I collapsed back onto my bed. Why did I feel so sick? I didn't even remember going to bed. What the heck happened yesterday?

          What did I... do for my birthday again?

          My headache wasn't giving my brain much slack in attempting to decipher yesterday's occurrences. Painkillers... They were in the kitchen, weren't they? All the way downstairs...

          Groaning at the thought, I ignored the notifications on my screen and called her number, hoping to gain a shortcut without having to get up. She answered within seconds.

          "Mom, are you at home?" I spoke into the receiver. I hadn't even realized how faint my voice could ever be until that very moment.

          "No, I'm at work," she replied. "Is everything all right? Are you at school?"

          She left at six, didn't she? "I just woke up," I admitted.

          "What? Right now?" she demanded. "You're late! You've never slept in before."

          "I know," I murmured, her yelling only making my headache worse. "Mom, I'm not feeling well."

          "You aren't?" She paused for a moment. "This is what you get for staying out late," she said with a sigh. "You have to take better care of yourself, Reina. That boy from down the street; you're lucky he was there to walk you home. Even carried your sleeping self in and straight to your bed. Apologize for causing him so much trouble."

          Ryu walked me home? I frowned at the idea, the words swirling around my head. He did? "Didn't I go bowling yesterday?" I asked the only vivid memory I recalled.

          "Yes. Erika wanted to surprise you," answered Mom. "Well, your dad and I were a little in on it. I hope you had a blast yesterday but because it's not your birthday anymore, that doesn't excuse you from skipping school young lady."

          Though my mind was absorbing all the things she was telling me, nothing was sticking. They only resulted in fuzzy memories or nothing at all.

          I began to freak out a bit. Why didn't I remember?

          "Are you going to head to school right now?"

          "I'm honestly feeling too sick to go," I breathed after a pause.

          "Why? What were you doing until so late?"

          My head pounded against my skull. What was I doing...?

          After a moment of blank thinking, I just said, "I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life." I closed my eyes with a groan. "Mom, my head really hurts."

          "Don't whine."

          "I'm not," I mumbled. "It's just, I don't have the energy to do anything so I'm a little worried."

          Mom waited. "Should I come home early?"

          "Oh no, it's fine," I quickly responded. "I think I just have a headache. I'll be fine after I take painkillers."

          "Are you sure? Will you be okay until I come back?"

           "Yes, ma'am."

          "Do you want anything in particular then?"

"Hmm, does chocolate count—"

She didn't let me finish. "Considering you still have a bit of attitude, I'm sure you're fine."

"What attitude? As your own flesh and blood, I am offended."

Mom merely sighed, "Rest up, Reina. And make sure you catch up tomorrow because you skipped today. Your grades are already—"

"Yes, yes, I'll try my best. Cough. Cough. Achoo." No need to bring up my depressing marks...

"I have to go," Mom said. "Call me if anything happens, all right? I'll talk to you later."

She hung up the call at that and I groaned as I slipped out of bed. As soon as my feet touched the cool wood, I shivered. Standing up didn't help with the dizziness at all. No, instead, I ended up fluttering right over and onto the ground. Lying there for a while, I shut my eyes. I felt so strange. And my clothes were heavy. Why wasn't I wearing my pyjamas?

My chest constricted as I peeled my eyelids apart. This was seriously freaky. What exactly happened last night?

I pursed my lips together. If only Ryu were here so I could ask him... But he was probably at school.

Just as the thought came to mind, I heard my bedroom window slide open. My body immediately stiffened, eyes wide and alert. I craned my head in the direction, my hand reaching for something to be used as a weapon when recognition settled in. The orange-haired teen hoisted himself over the window pane and into my room.

His hair was dishevelled, bangs matted to his forehead in a messy yet adorning way. His eyes darted in my direction, and almost bulged in panic. He raced to my side in a flash.

"K-Kikuchi?" he nearly cried. "What's wrong? Are you okay? An ambulance? Should I call—"

"I'm fine, Iwasaki," I cut him off, swatting away his hand that already had his phone clasped inside.

He helped me up, countenance breached with concern. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I just fell," I replied, sitting up on my own. I trained my gaze onto the male and when things finally clicked, I couldn't contain my surprise. My mouth, at first, wouldn't work. I was blinking wildly, trying to make sense of the situation. "W-wait..." I shook my head quickly to rid me of my daze. "What are you doing here?"

He was close enough for me to notice his eyes flickering away from mine. He sat down appropriately, his gaze darting back and forth from me to the ground—almost timidly. "You... didn't show up to class all morning," he responded after a pause.

I couldn't stop my heart from doing a little flip in my chest. "Wait, so you skipped school just to come see if I was fine?"

Ryu bashfully averted his gaze again, and my heart couldn't help but squeeze. What? He did? Aww!

Despite being in pain moments before, right now all those troubles flew out the window. All my boggled up mind could make sense of was that Ryu had come all the way here to see if I was fine. He skipped school just to see me.

"Class Presidents shouldn't skip school," I spoke up, relaxation slumping my shoulders.

"I'm not Class President anymore," he immediately stated, meeting my eyes with furrowed brows. "And why're you smiling?"

"What do you mean why? You just said the sweetest thing ever!" I exploded. Where I got the courage to, I had no idea. But, it didn't matter to me in that moment.

"You like hearing stuff like that?" Ryu asked in disbelief. "You want people to skip school just to see you?"

The way he said suddenly left me flustered. "N-no! Stop putting words in my mouth."

"You're the one that said them," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but that's because you—" I cleared my throat once I saw how baffled he was. "Anyway."

Ryu paused for a moment, raking me over and frowning even more. "Are you really okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a pretty bad headache." I rolled my stiff shoulders and smiled at him. "But I nearly forgot about it after your arrival. Wow Iwasaki, you're the best medicine. Your sweetness cured me instantly."

Wide-eyed for a slight bit, Ryu stared at me in surprise. That's when colour tinged his cheeks and his lips shifted upwards for a brief second. My heart went against me by constricting. After meeting my gaze, Ryu timidly wiped his previous expression off his face and sprung to his feet. "Did you already take painkillers?"

"N-not yet," I answered, attempting to regain my poise. Placing my palms onto the ground, I carefully hauled my body upwards. "I was trying to but I'm a little dizzy; that's why I fell. But I'll get some now—"

My words got caught in my throat the moment I teetered sideways yet again. Right as I stumbled, Ryu seized my shoulders to catch me. "Just stay here," he said, gently guiding me to my bed. "I'll get them for you."

Flopping onto the mattress, I glanced up at him. Knowing how hopeless I was, I nodded. "I'd actually appreciate that. Then, I think they're in the top right cabinet near the stove in the kitchen."

It was a brief moment, but Ryu's countenance flickered with an emotion that was hard to catch. For sure though, it wasn't anything next to joy. Confusion welled up inside of me at his odd reaction.

"Iwasaki?" I asked.

Ridding himself from his trance, he spun around towards my door. "Top right cabinet?"

"Yeah," I responded but he was already outside before I could say anymore.

The room engulfed itself with silence, leaving me alone in my thoughts. Although I'd already felt somewhat better, my mind continued to remain blank. Catching a brief glimpse of myself on my cell phone screen, I was instantly aghast. Great, and I was a mess! How could I let him see me like this? Immediately, I attempted to flatten my hair and fix my appearance the best I could. Jeez. He was probably secretly judging me... Maybe that was why he stared at me like that!

I sat in my room quietly, waiting for Ryu to return and minutes later, he finally emerged. It felt as if it had taken ages but he arrived nonetheless. Handing me the painkillers and a glass of water, Ryu casually grabbed the chair from my desk and fell into it backwards so he could still stare at me. As he did, I made a face. It wasn't even his house and yet he was making himself comfortable.

"I just realized," I drawled as my eyes casted upon the place of his entrance, "why did you come in through my window?"

Ryu quickly defended himself, "I was knocking for a bit but nobody answered."

He was? I hadn't heard it... I must've still been asleep then.

"So you climbed up the tree?" I said, tossing one into my mouth and gulping a good amount of water. "What a monkey."

Ryu narrowed his eyes at me. "Be quiet."

Setting down the container and cup at my nightstand, I turned my attention back to Ryu and opened my mouth, "Iwasaki, what happened yesterday?"

It was easy to catch his flinch. As if to hide his unnecessary jolt, Ryu sat up straighter in his seat and returned his gaze to me. "We went bowling, remember?"

I made a face at the unsatisfactory answer. "Yeah, I remember that. But I barely remember anything after you arrived. And apparently you walked me home... Did I faint at the bowling alley or something?"

Ryu didn't respond. Meeting my eyes, he was careful—as if he were watching my reactions more closely than I was his.

"Is that what happened?" I prodded him after the silence that fell upon us. "Because waking up without the recollections of yesterday night is really freaking me out."

His face contorting with guilt, Ryu clearly avoided my gaze. "I'm sorry. It's my fault."

"Your fault that I fainted?" I inquired.

"You didn't—" He stopped himself. "Yeah. That."

My eyelids tapered. "That's not an answer," I pointed out. "You can't tell me what happened?"

He avoided looking at me.

My heart rate picked up in sudden trepidation. "You're really freaking me out. Why can't you tell me, Iwasaki? Are you kidding around?"

When I took a good glance at Ryu's eyes, they contained no ounce of amusement at all. Instead, solemnity inched over all aspects of his face. He let out an exhale, "You fainted—"

I stopped his attempt to lie. "If I really fainted you would've came right out and told me."

A painful silence blanketed the air, making it hard to breathe. My mind began to race with various thoughts, mainly paranoia. What the heck? What exactly happened yesterday? Was it that bad?

"Kikuchi," Ryu began after a pause. I darted my attention to him. "Do you really not remember the last person you were with yesterday?"

Who I was with last? I swallowed hard. "W-wasn't that you?" I said. "You walked me home."

My eyelids grew wide at the sudden idea that filled my brain. No way.

"Are you saying who I was with last is the reason I can't remember anything?" I demanded, leaning forward. "But Iwasaki, you wouldn't—"

"First of all, you don't know that," he cut me off.

"Yes, I do," I insisted. "You're not the type to..."

"To what?" Running his fingers through his hair, Ryu said, "You can try to act like it but you don't know who I am, Kikuchi."

My mouth moved wordlessly for awhile. My head continued to pound against my skull but my thudding heart was snatching most of my attention.

"I can't understand how you can say something like that," I ended up retaliating. "It's already become obvious to me that you're Ryu Iwasaki, an intimidating seeming human being who actually is as soft as a marshmallow. And I know for a fact that you would never do anything that would purposefully hurt me or anyone!"

Ryu was caught off guard by my reply. He stared at me in astonishment for a while until the corners of his lips curved downwards, his head dropping like a saddened puppy. Typically my compliments had always left a positive aftermath but now he couldn't have appeared any more dejected. "I'm not that kind of person," he murmured.

My eyeballs bulged from their sockets. My lips clamped together, downturning as my heart squeezed. I could only watch as Ryu got up to his feet, dug into his bag and held out papers for me.

"First two classes' of notes," he enlightened me. "I have to return by the end of lunch."

Receiving the sheets, I briefly considered them. Seeming to understand that, Ryu scuffed his feet a bit.

"Don't mention last night to anyone," he ordered. "And that you don't remember."

"Why?" I spat. "You, for one, look relieved that I don't remember."

"I'm not relieved," he defended. "I just..."

"Just what?"

Ryu paused, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Take care of yourself, Kikuchi."

I didn't respond. Not wanting to overstay his welcome, Ryu excused himself at that and left out the window—being the monkey he was. Sighing to myself, I collapsed backwards onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling yet again.

I clicked my home button and illuminated messages from Erika, Miyabi and Daichi stared back at me—each asking if I was okay and healthy. My eyebrows knitted together as I dropped my hand onto my forehead, letting out an exhausted breath. Ryu's earlier words flitted into my mind but even now I couldn't quite pin the blame on him. Ryu was such a kind person. He would never hurt me.

"Do you really not remember the last person you were with yesterday?"

My lips curved downwards. Yesterday night, before Ryu arrived at the bowling alley... who was I with last?