A little love declaration to Jeon Jeongguk, that will never reach him.

Chapter 1 - the past:
The first time I was introduced to BTS through their music videos, I was overwhelmed and - frankly speaking - weirded out. Before that I hadn't heard of Kpop and so I didn't know how to react to these dancing boys with their unusual hair colors and make up that seemed so different to what I was used to seeing in the pop industry. Jeongguk was the first one who not only caught my eye but actually awakened my interest. Now I don't recall what it really was about him - maybe it is as easy as to say that I liked him because he holds the center position and we get to see a lot of him. Or maybe I really started to like him because I found him more  attractive than the rest, even as a 16 year old with his thick eyeliner and big studs. But to be honest I don't believe that that was all to that. I soon fell head over heels for him, after having watched both their music videos and a presentable amount of interviews and backstage videos. That was in late 2016 and our journey had only begun.

Chapter 2 - the present:
There is a long list of things that fascinate me about Jeongguk. I could go on and on about his appearance. About his precious little bunny smile, the way he scrunches his nose, the mole on his chin or the scar under his eye (or if we want to go in that direction: his thighs, hoho) - but that would probably be pointless as every one already knows that he looks perfect and ethereal no matter what. When talking about Jeongguk I don't think there goes any way around mentioning his countless talents. He isn't called the golden maknae for no reason. Even though he might not have the best singing technique, no one can deny that he owns a beautiful voice and deserves the title main vocalist. I'm far from being anything near a vocal coach, but the years and years of hard training definitely show when he sings. His breathy and soft voice never fails to deliver the message of a song and he's stable even when dancing really hard. Speaking about dancing - he's also amazing at that. It's obvious that he aces it - he doesn't only follow the steps but also manages to look so effortless while doing it. His facial expressions are on point and the charisma literally oozes out of him. It's hard for me to concentrate on anyone but him when watching BTS dance practices or performances. You can just tell that he enjoys what he does and that it fills him with excitement. He never looks bored or like he's giving less than 120 %. Also don't shush me when I say that I loved his rapping in the early eras and want it back. Those 3 things are already impressive enough, even in kpop standards, but it doesn't end here. Jeongguk is so athletic and strong - if you want proof look at his ISAC performances - and it shows. I still remember that one time he played limbo while carrying the members in his arms or when he yeeted that ball away while playing water volleyball. Moving on: Jeongguk is great at drawing - for proof please watch the video where he painted himself or the one where he sketched out his BT21 character. I was literally in disbelief when I saw the scene in which he drew a little dog in the 2019 BTS movie because it looked that good. But he's not only creative in that area - I mean, have you seen his videos? He's just so unreal at filming and putting together those vlogs. And it warms my heart to see how he portrays his members in them - it just shows how close they are and how much he loves them. Also he's a song writer and writes some of the lyrics in BTS songs (correct me, if I'm wrong). Even though I'm convinced that he has many more talents as he seemingly succeeds at everything he does, I want to move on to his character. Now of course I don't know his real personality but only what he chooses to show his fans and maybe I'm foolish for that but I believe that I got some sort of idea of what he is like in real life. Even though he is so talented he isn't a show off, instead he seems pretty humble to me. He is so hard working and it's heart breaking to see how far he goes to meet our and his own expectations. It even reaches that point that he cried because he felt like he didn't perform like he wanted to or didn't hit a note how he imagined it. He's always striving to be the best version of himself and to improve his already superb skills. I also think that he has lovable humor and that in no shape or form he's boring as some negative people claim. Honestly speaking I don't get tired of listening to him or watching him even when he's just talking to a camera while eating some cup noodles. I love it when he gets excited because it reaches my heart and I too get hyped. I love his laugh because it's so pure and I love the way he interacts with his members. It might seem rough sometimes, but he's an actual softie and you just know that he loves them just as much as they love him. Part of the attraction he has on me probably comes from the fact that I can relate to him a lot. My friends always told me that we kind of resembled each other, I mean besides the fact that he's way more talented than me, and I do see it in some things. I relate to his perfectionism and the urge to please others but more so his own high standards. I see myself in the way he bickers with the other members, how he playfully annoys them and enjoys it. And I also know how it feels to be shy around other people and to be wrongly perceived as plain or unexciting. And because I sometimes feel connected to the way he is, he manages to motivate me by just being himself. It's enough for me just to think about him to suddenly give me the strength to do or pull through something. He's not only some singer from Korea who doesn't know about my existence but a role model. Because he isn't content with just good, he wants to be better and that is extremely motivating.

Chapter 3 - the future:
If there is someone who can tell what's laying ahead of us, it's definitely not me. Jeongguk was my bias since November 2016 and even though Taehyung was a serious concurrent at one point, he always kept his position. I even would go as far as to say that he's my ultimate bias - maybe not the only one, but believe me, I stan a lot of talented boys. If I'm really thinking about it, I don't see him ever losing that position. I admit that I don't think about him everyday and that there are phases in my life when I don't even pay any real attention to him or BTS, but when I do, there is no holding me back. I might not always keep up with what BTS is doing, but I never lose that feeling I get when thinking about him. And even though I'm obviously not the biggest Jeongguk fan out there, I am happy that I am one and that my heart decided that he would be my bias that early on as it definitely was the right choice. I'm hoping that Jeongguk will continue what he does and that he can improve the way he imagines. At the same time I wish for him to someday reach a point where he can be satisfied with himself and accept his own flaws and mistakes because in the end he already is wonderful the way he is. I'm so proud of him and the direction he is going in. And I am excited to be there when he reaches even further and climbs even higher. But right now I'm already more than happy with the person he is. He's Jeongguk and I, and many more, love him exactly for that.

Happy Birthday ♡