Before returning to Jimin's house, I made a quick stop at a particular gas station.  "Hey Namjoon," I called as I opened the door.

"Seokjin," his unenthusiastic voice sounded. Next thing I know, Namjoon's little crush was making his way to the alcoholic beverages. Should I ask Seokjin what to do if he found out his best friend was gay for him?  Nah, then it would make things with Namjoon obvious.  Well, I could ask Namjoon what he would want Seokjin to do were he to ever find out. I decided against that as well.  I didn't want to talk about it.

"Four," I said to him nonchalantly. In all actuality, my heart is getting ready to jump out of my chest. This makes me so nervous... I'm not used to being a "bad boy." I made my way to the back of the convenient store and entered the bathroom. Seokjin came in shortly after, handing me four green bottles of C1 Soju. I handed over the necessary amount of won for the drinks, plus some for the illegal service he has provided. I thanked him and Namjoon and made my leave.

I hate anxiety.

* * *

I nervously reached for the doorknob only to have the door open before I could touch it.

"Where on Earth have you been, Hoseok," Park-eomma asked in a trembling voice. I could clearly see the worry plastered on her face through her watery brown eyes.

"I've been looking for Jimin," I said innocently, showing a little hint of confusion on my face. I leaned to the side to look behind her, hoping I'd see Jimin, but nobody was there. The tearful, petite woman wrapped her arms tightly around my torso in a protective hug, surprising me.

"I thought I lost you." Her words were muffled by the fabric of my clothes. I didn't really understand what's going on, but I hugged her back anyways. Muffled clinks could be heard with every movement I made, thanks to my alcohol. Thankfully, this went unnoticed. She backed off slowly and took a deep breath before gesturing me inside.

"He came home crying," she informed in a hushed voice. We talked quietly because even though he was taking a bath upstairs, he could probably hear us at a normal volume. Sound travels in this house.

She was leaning against the counter, a mug between her hands. I also had a mug filled with steamy tea. I don't really like it, but it's warming my shaky hands, and the fact that she cares makes my heart warm.

Even so, the longer I'm near her with all this alcohol inside my jacket, the more nervous I get. This shit is noisy and heavy, and it's pretty obvious that the pockets are significantly weighed down. I really don't want to get caught.

"I asked him where you were," she continued, "but all he did was shrug. He went straight to his room without another word. I started to worry because you were absent, but his jacket was not. I feared something had happened to you." I nodded in understanding. I still feel bad for lying to her, even more so than before. I should have been honest.

Knock! Knock! Knock! I knocked on the bathroom door a few times while I said his name.

I heard the sound of metal dropping again, along with some other rushed, muffled movement and water splashing slightly. "Go away," he ordered, "...please."

"But, Jimin, I want to talk. I-I don't know what to do," I said slowly, trying to hold back the tears forming in my eyes. I truly don't know what to do about my friend being gay for me. He was silent for a moment, so I used that chance to speak up again, "I just want to go back to the way we were before."

"No," he snapped back at me immediately, "I can't go back. I-I fucked up, really bad. Really, really bad. And I need you to go. That's all I ask." I sighed and walked into his bedroom. I know this isn't what he meant by 'go.' I know he wants me to go home, and I should go home. It's Saturday, but...

I took one bottle of soju out of my jacket pocket and opened it slowly with trembling fingers. I immediately downed the liquid in one sitting, feeling the burn travel from my throat to my stomach. I was already feeling a little tipsy, but it wasn't enough to satisfy. Here I am, drinking away my anxiety again. How pathetic. This isn't exactly how I pictured my beautiful Saturday going. Sighing, I took a second bottle from my jacket and chugged it, then a third. I was about to drink the last one, the cap off and everything, when Jimin walked into his room.

"Why are you still he- what are you doing," he questioned. He scanned me and the area around me. My eyes squinted, trying to make out his expression, but it wasn't clear at all. Damn intoxicated vision. "Don't you dare drink that!"

I lifted an eyebrow and smirked before taking a huge swig that I almost choked on. A hand snatched the bottle from me. Woah... I stared at my hand and then at Jimin. When did he get over here? He's like Flash! Flashmin! Is Jimin a superhero? Jimin glared at me with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl on his pretty face. He's dangerously cross.

"Why sho sheeruss," I asked jokingly. His anger only seemed to worsen. "Sh-shtop f-frooownshiing," I sang as I reached my hand up to his face and tried to unknit his brows.

"Jesus Hobi! How many have you fucking had?! Gah! I hate it when you're like this," he growled. His comment annoys me somehow. I love it when I'm like this. I'm trouble - free when I'm this way.

I tried to grab the bottle back from his grip, but my aim was way off. Nothing is moving the way I want it to. He stepped backwards and stated firmly, as if he was scolding a dog, "No."

I stood up and immediately the world was turning. I could feel the tilt of the Earth on its axis. Everything was distorted. Despite gravity being an ass to me, I leaned forward and tried grabbing my drink again only to fall flat on my face. Ow.

"I said no," Jimin raised his voice. He turned around, facing me, and looking down at my pathetic ass on the floor. I shushed him, and then grabbed his ankle with both hands, yanking it towards me with all my might. He fell on his ass. Good thing it's all cushiony. I smiled to myself at the thought of his nice booty.

"Agh! What the fuck Hoseok, you made me spill it all over my damn floor," he growled. I ignored him and lazily crawled on top of his body and reached my arm up to fight with him over the bottle in his hand. I'm gonna get pissed off soon. I want my goddamn drink! I pulled myself up to his hand and bit it harshly, making it bleed. "Fuck!"

His hand loosened its grip on the bottle, which was a lot lighter than it was a few minutes ago, and then he withdrew it. Sudden pain radiated throughout my entire back. That fucking hurts. What just happened?! Did my angel Jiminie hit me?! I groaned in agony.

He rubbed his injured hand. "Serves you right for fucking biting me like some kind of animal!" I ignored him again and the horrible pain in my back as I chugged the toxic liquid.

The green C1 Soju bottle was sent flying across his room with one swat of Jimin's hand. I stared at my now-empty hand in disbelief. He's the strongest man I've ever seen in my life. He's like...like... like the Hulk! Except pale and small... Hulkin? That's ugly. Jimulk? That's uglier! Breaking glass echoed into my ear, snapping me from my thoughts.

"W-wh-whyyyy d'yah doooo daaat!? Shoooojuu i-ishh mah beeeshhtess fraand efferrrr," I yelled, realising he just broke my... what was it again?

"Nothing eomma," Jimin hollered.

"I's not yo eommmaaaaaa!"

"Shut up! My eomma can hear you!"

"F-f-fuuuuck heerr," I yelled. Screw that lady. Screw everybody. Screw Jimin, too. No, no. You got it all wrong Hoseok. It's I want to screw Jimin. He's one fine ass human being. Ji-

In a flash, Jimin had me pinned to the ground. He wasn't even holding my hands to the ground. He's just sitting on my stomach with his hands on either side of my head and I feel paralysed. I can't wrap my head around what's going on. All I know is that I was on top of this hunk a second ago. This could only mean he has superpo-

Smack! "Say it again," he threatened with his hand raised, "and I'll kill you, too." Too? What does he mean by- ooooooh... I stared at his plump lips and licked my own. Even though my face stings, my back hurts, and my dizziness is getting worse by the minute, it doesn't really matter. His lips matter, though. I like those lips. He matters. Jimin's so aggressive. He will probably hit me again. I want him to hit me again.

"Ffffuuhhh 'errrr," I repeated. My pronunciation has flown out the window but I'm not too worried about it, or about anything really. The sting in my cheek was nothing compared to the intense ache in my jaw as JiHulk's fist smashed my fragile face.

"Fuck you," he spat, raising his fist like he was going to hit me again. Do it.

"Fuucksh meeh," I said immediately after him. Do it. I grabbed his shirt, trying to pull him down, though he resisted me. Hurt me. Looking him directly in his furious eyes, watching the fire burn behind them. I added, "P-pleaaazsheu." I bit my lip, pulling his shirt harder.

He harshly grabbed my already-sore jaw and smashed his lips against mine. I winced at his roughness. I'm pretty sure he just busted my bottom lip, but hey, I asked for it. The metallic taste in my mouth confirmed the busted lip. He squeezed my jaw. A muffled 'mph' sounded in my throat. It hurt, but I kissed him anyways. Naturally, our tongues rubbed each other as the kiss deepened. He's not being rough enough! I bit his tongue.

Grabbing my shirt collar, he parted from me quickly and pulled me up as he stood. "Get up you drunk piece of shit," he growled through gritted teeth. I tried to follow his command. I tried to find my footing. I wanted to obey, but my legs wouldn't cooperate. If he were to let go of my shirt, I would surely meet the floor again.

"Feet on the floor," he ordered, his tone sounding a bit scary now.

"I-I-I'm t-t," I couldn't complete my sentence. My focus was on my feet, not my words. Apparently, I can't chew gum and walk at the same time.

"I said," he began and rammed me into the wall next to his desk. "Feet on the fucking floor." His grip switched from my shirt to my shoulders, to keep me pinned to the wall. Being pinned to wall this hard isn't very comfortable. I finally found my footing and prayed that he wouldn't let go of me, for I know I would fall.

Then, an idea came to mind. I managed to raise my legs enough to wrap them around his waist. I tightened my hold of his waist causing the small gap of space between us to close.

"That's not the ground," he pointed out. I frowned and opened my mouth to speak, but then he bit my busted bottom lip hard. The metallic taste of blood danced on my taste buds again. He pulled back slowly, pulling my lip with him in between his two rows of teeth. Once my mouth couldn't stretch anymore, his teeth slid off my lip, pinching it in the end. My lip throbbed.

It hurts so much, but I don't want him to stop. Please don't stop. I don't know why, Jimin, but I want to be manhandled by you.

He licked the blood off my lip and kissed me immediately after. A burning sensation spread from my lips to my stomach, then slowly all over my body. I want him. I want him more than anything. I want this aggressive side of him to hurt me inside and out. I want it now.

I ran my fingers through the back of his coal black hair and yanked it. A small moan vibrated my lips. He immediately separated from me, stared at me for a moment, and then sent me flying across the room.

Bang! Crash! Landing sideways, my back hit his dresser. One of the knobs dug underneath my shoulder blade and my head smacked against the edge. I touched the back of my head instinctively and looked at my wet hand as I brought it back up to my face. Blood.

"Go home. Come back when you're sober," he dismissed me. What did I do wrong? And... and how the fuck can I get home when I can barely st- who cares? The world is fading anyway. It's getting extra fuzzy and dark and-