As weeks passed, you slowly healed and every day Shanks would stop by for a moment or two to talk to you. And you would ask him so many questions. Too many you thought. But he would give you that smile of his and answer you, him making childish jokes along the way. And you laughed. And laughed.

And laughed.

And you would miss him when he had to leave your side as his duty of captain of his ship.

The pirates were able to rescue most of the villagers and took them to their ship to an empty island. They saved them. They were there in the other island because of the bandits. They were doing nothing but saving and protecting them until those bandits learned their lesson.

That's all.

But...you were ashamed. You killed a few innocents before you decided to say no more. To defy Spandam. To defy and say stop to all this meaningless killing that you were ordered to do. Women. Men. Kids who just reached the beginning of adulthood.

You wanted to stay in the cabin forever. In your corner, in the darkness, where you belonged.

It doesn't matter how Shanks smile somehow brought a warmness in you. How easygoing and carefree he was as he talked, that you would not realize your own mouth moving to reply back with what he said. It didn't matter...when he said you're a good person...

Are you?

How can you even walk under the sun, in the light, when you've been hiding in the darkness for so long? With only the color red for company?

...would Smoker even forgive me? You thought, and it felt like your heart shattered at the question. But then you shook your head.

Smoker is Smoker. He always was by your side. Since the both of you met, since you told him you were nothing but a feared pirate's offspring and everybody hated you. He didn't care. He never did. Cause he's Smoker.

But...your eyes lowered. You imagined a disappointed looking Smoker gazing down at you.

It made you sad.

You're not sure if killing, even under orders, is a forgivable thing.

In your mind, it is not. You feel dirty. You want to stay in this bed forever. You didn't care that the ship's doctor said you need to walk around to get the blood properly flowing in your body. You didn't care at all. You shouldn't even be here! Shanks...why?

Why did he save a person like you?!

The door opened, and you snapped your gaze towards the smiling Straw Hat wearing Shanks.

"Ah, you're awake." He walked towards your bed, a smile still plastered on his face—why is he looking at you like that? With a warmness but carefree grin?

The next Yonko candidate sat in the chair by your bed, it's become his chair now with all the visits he's done though. His chair. Just to visit you.

"You know, it's not good to stay in bed all day. The doc told me you should be able to walk around at least a little bit by now. Or are you still hurt? It's not good to lie to the doctor you know!" Shanks chided, his brows slightly furrowed in concern.

Why is he looking at me like that? You thought, Like...like I'm not a monster

But you know you are.

You diverted your eyes from his face, looking to the side and clenching the bed sheets with your hands.

"I don't deserve to be here."

Shanks frowned.

"Here? In my ship? Of course you deserve to be here! Why not?" Your eyes turned half lidded, and you clenched the bed sheets harder. Your cap was by your side, not on your head since you were laying against the cushions. But you wish it was on your head now, cause you knew the expression you were forming...you didn't want Shanks to see it.

"No," you corrected, "To be here. As in here, in this world. I..." You closed your eyes tightly and then opened them to look at a solemn Shanks, "I should be dead."

At Shanks silence you continued, "I can't even face those people...it took me awhile to stop, you know. To just stop the blood, to stop the amount of red on my hands from increasing. Do you know how many people I've killed Shanks...?" You questioned, not really expecting him to answer either way. "Too many. I've killed people before, but not on a scale like this. Those people you saved...don't you think they will spit and loathe me? Hell," you gave a dry chuckle as you lifted a hand over half your face that was looking down, a fake smile on your lips, "I loathe myself. I wouldn't blame them. How many of their neighbors did I kill...? Friends? Relatives? Lovers?"

You bit your lip, already feeling the blood going down your chin from how hard you bit.

"...sons? Daughters...?" You added quietly, almost sounding like a croak. How pathetic are you? Why are you showing your weakness to a pirate?

Because he's warm, oh so warm, You internally answered. His laugh and voice calms you. That smile makes you want to break to a smile of your own. You want to laugh with him. Because you haven't laughed like this in years and he brings it out so easily. In those moments, he wasn't a pirate. But a man. A childish obnoxious and sometimes idiotic man.

Because he makes you feel you can be forgiven.

But I can't.

"Shanks...I can't go out and face those people. I can't—"

"You can." Shanks interrupted. It was so abrupt you couldn't help but look up at him and widen at his eyes.

His eyes were gravely serious, a frown marred on his lips that you haven't seen before.

"You have to. Don't hide, (Y/N). You're more than that."

You're...more than that? Than what?

Shanks spotted your expression and added, "You're no coward. I don't see that in you. So don't act like it!" Shanks criticized, and you flinched at his loud and hard voice. He hasn't yelled at you before. It was new. But is it true? Are you acting like a coward? But...you can't face them...

"Don't look like that. I don't care what you did in your past, I can care less." You widened your eyes but Shanks continued. Not missing a beat. "It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, it's what you did that day. When you stopped, when you said no, and almost died because of your morals." You couldn't look away from his coffee brown eyes now, you were in a trance. As his words hit you and continued hitting you.

"I didn't see a mindless marine just following orders. I saw a woman who didn't want to kill innocent people. I saw a woman who tried to defend them. I saw a woman who defied orders, even at the cost of her own life." Shanks had his eyes narrowed as he spoke, but then. You breathed in air in shock.

His eyes softened.

"I came to know that woman as (Y/N), who was no coward. And actually laughs when I tell the most stupidest of jokes." His voice was soft now, the voice you were used to. That you grew to love. Just listening to it...it made you start to think...

"You are no monster (Y/N). And never will be. A person like you," he put a hand to your shoulder and gave you a smile that made you want to break down crying again, just from his kindness, "can be forgiven."

Your chin gave a wobble, and Shanks squeezed your shoulder—with that warm beautiful smile, those kind eyes looking at you with care.

"Just try. Don't give up when you haven't even tried, (Y/N). Give it your all... And then you'll see, you'll see that it will work out."

Your eyes watered, so you closed them, and gave a nod towards him with a small smile.

And without you even having to look, you were sure a proud smile was on his face.

The mere thought made you smile wider.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you were finally able to walk on your own two feet and exit the doctor's cabin, all you saw were faces filled with happiness and merriment as you walked up to the railing of the docked ship.

They are...so happy.

You smiled a wide smile as tears threatened to fall, which you quickly wiped away. Geez, when did you become a crybaby.

You breathed in deeply in preparation. This is it. You're going to apologize. And if they don't accept then...you shook your head. At least you tried. Your eyes caught red hair, and were immediately drawn into it. Shanks was already staring at you with a calm smile on his face, giving a small nod towards you.

Yes. You can do it.

You have to.

And so, you climbed down from the ship with the ladder onto the shore of the island, purposefully making noise to catch the villagers attention. The villager's stopped talking amongst themselves and looked towards you, but you were already kneeling with your head on the ground.

"Wait...isn't that—?!"

"Wasn't she one of the marines that came to punish us for what we did?!"

"Oi! What's the meaning of this Shanks?! You trying to get us all killed?!"

Before the crowd got louder, you spoke.

"I am not here to harm any of you," you firmly said, loud and clear for everyone to hear, "I am here to...hopefully be forgiven."

And like a snap, the villagers words turned harsh and angry.

"Forgive?! Why would we?!" One man said, voice hard and throaty.

"We didn't do anything wrong! Why did World Government send you to us?! Just because we were thanking these pirates getting rid of those horrible bandits?" One woman said, and you think she was holding a child, for you heard whimpering.

You bit your lip.

"Just try. Don't give up when you haven't even tried (Y/N). Give it your all... And then you'll see, you'll see that it will work out."

You must try harder. You lifted your head up slightly to look at them from under your cap, trying to show them to will do no harm to them.

"None of you did anything wrong. None of you. No one deserves to be punished for helping someone." You answered, trying to keep your voice calm and soft. You know your words to be true, no one, marine or pirate or anyone, should be punished for helping. No one. "The World Government...sadly did not see it that way...but I am not apologizing for them giving the order." You raised your head more do they can meet your honest (e/c) eyes, so they can see you were sincere.

"I am apologizing for following said order. It was wrong...The blood of innocents and civilians should never be shed..." You clenched your hands around the sand beneath you, scraping your skin. "I...realized that, when I saw a child looking at me with fear in his eyes—"

"A child?!"

"You didn't kill a child did you?!"

"What's wrong with the World Government?!"

"Maybe we should handle her ourselves..." You heard someone said darkly, and some villagers began to get closer towards your kneeling form. You let them.

They can do whatever they want with you. You deserve it. You deserve many things.

You can take it.

You can take anything. Nothing is worse then hearing screams and seeing tears in the eyes of the people you've killed.

Nothing.

With Shanks, his crew members were looking at him and then back at you in concern.

"Captain," Lucky Roo spoke, "she's a marine yes but...from what you've told us, shouldn't we stop them?"

Benn nodded and looked towards Shanks, who was staring at the scene as the villagers drew closer to your non threatening form on the ground. "He's right. I don't think we should stand here and do nothing."

"Watch." Shanks simply said. The crew looked at each other in confusion, and then back at the scene.

"We should never have helped these pirates in the first place...we could've handled the bandits ourselves." A person close to your form spoke, and your eyes turned wide and you lifted your head.

"No!" You yelled, making the villagers flinch. "These pirates...are kind!" The Red Haired Pirates eyes widened, except for Shanks, who's smile was twitching wider. "Don't blame yourselves! The Government should've helped you in the first place, that's what our job is! Or at least what it's supposed to be! These pirates helped you! They defended you! Don't blame them! Don't blame yourselves either! If you want someone to have the blame," you smashed your head against the hard sand, "Blame me!"

"Kick me! Spit on me! Punch me! Curse my name! Tell me to smack my head against the ground!" You smacked your head hard once more, and you knew you got the villager's attention as they began to look at each other with furrowed brows. As Shanks listened, his own brows furrowed and a concerned frown was marred on his face.

"Do anything and everything to me!" You yelled, pleading with them. "Take all your hate out on me! For everything I've done and more! Do everything to me until you feel better!" You smacked your head once more to the sand, and you were sure by this point your head was bleeding from the scrapes because of the grainy ground of the beach shore.

This is how you will ask for their forgiveness. This is the only you think it will work.

They can hit you. It will be fine. It won't be as painful as what you've had to go through.

They can spit on you. That will be fine too. You would spit on yourself if you could, from all that you've done for the past six years, that will make you feel a little better.

They can blind you if they want. Maybe then you won't have to see people's pained and crying faces. Maybe then you won't see the people you've killed in your mind's eye. Maybe then...those red hands will be gone.

If they want to, they can. You deserve it.

You deserve it all.

You heard them whispering amongst each other.

"...is she really the marine that wanted to kill us? I don't understand..."

Marine? You? What does that even mean anymore?

What does the word 'Marine' even mean to you anymore?  What does Justice mean?

What does anything that you grew up and thought was righteous and good mean anymore?!

Does it mean anything?

"I don't know what marine even means anymore," you murmured, eyes dark, "I don't even know what Justice is..." You closed your eyes tight, your head against the ground. "Just do what will make all of you feel better." The villagers looked at each other, some a mix with confusion and worry. While others had a mix of shock but also anger. Thinking to themselves, that no matter what they did to you, it won't be bring their loved ones back. They just won't. Shanks frown deepened, not liking what he was seeing from some of the faces of the villagers and began to walk forward. Until he stopped and stared. A familiar boy was looking at you with concern, and looked up at a woman.

"Mommy...why is she doing that to her head? Doesn't that hurt?" The mother tried to shush the child and make him look away but he didn't want to, pushing his mom's hands away as he tried to take a closer look of you. He then widened his eyes.

"Y-you! You're the lady that saved me!" And innocent young voice said, your eyes widened and you looked up. Causing you to face the boy you saved, and that caused you to get in an argument with Lucci.

"I...you're safe...thank goodness." You whispered, thankful that no one managed to get him. The boy gave a wide smile and began to walk forward only for his mom to pull him back and whispering frantically to him. The boy frowned and pulled away from his mother and looked at all the villager's faces with confusion.

"Why are you guys looking at her like that? She saved me from the big scary cat that I talked about earlier! She's nice!" The boy stated, voice loud and full of trust. And you, with wide eyes and mouth open, was touched. The villager's eyes widened.

"You mean it was her?"

"She's the one that saved you? Than..."

The villagers looked at you, and then gave awkward smiles.

"Well, I guess someone who saved a kid ain't that bad." One man stated, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, and Shanks saved you, so that must mean you won't hurt us. There's no way he would if you did." Another said, more confident.

"If we should hate anyone, it's the World Government. Not you. You weren't giving the order after all." A woman said, stating what was on all the villager's minds. Knowing that you were just following orders and the true villain is the one who gave it.

You looked around, looking at how the villager's looks of hate and fear disappeared. Into looks of trust, at least a little, and sheepishness.

You...you always wanted to be looked like that.

You always wanted to be looked at by civilians with trust...and now...your eyes softened and a smile formed on your face as you looked at those wondrous looks. Those looks you've always wanted as a marine. You spotted Shanks already looking at you, smiling gently at you with a proud and kind gaze.

You instantly turned warm in the chest again, and smiled wider.

Shanks then pointed towards an area and then walked away. You got up to walk with him without missing a beat, completely trusting this man who simply loved the seas and made you feel like you've never felt in years.

.

.

.

^_^

Anyone can be forgiven Reader-San. For anything.

Like anyone can do anything they want, they just need to try. Never give up without even trying your hardest.

You'll see, it will all work out in the end. ^_^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Mask is off Silver Blood. Face your demons. . .

Ace is always there, dear Reader. Always.

My thanks to Hamfie for all of these. Wonderful author. And wonderful friend.

By another dear friend that I miss so. RinkuKuar. I'll never forget our conversations with each other. May we meet soon.

Votes
Main Pairings
Shanks: 100
Mihawk:106
Crocodile:50
Doflamingo: 37
Smoker: 59
Lucci: 34

Side Pairings
Kaku: 6
Paulie: 6
Buggy: 7

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THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS VOTED AND COMMENTED!! I APPRECIATE EVERY SINGLE THING FOR THE READERS WHO HAVE DONE SO!! XD

I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A NICE DAY/NIGHT!! XD