"I'm nervous," I whispered to Holly as we walked through my home. We had just spent three hours together, preparing and practicing, and now it was time for her to go. It was time that I gave Ajax one of the greatest surprises of his life.  But I suddenly felt like I couldn't do it and I was terrified of letting him down.

"You have no reason to be nervous," Holly soothed, rubbing my arm when we ended up by the rather grand entrance of my enormous ski cabin. "You've done really well and we've practiced so much. You'll do wonderful," she encouraged. 

"Holly, you're leaving so soon?" Ajax asked, coming up from the basement. 

His eyes were red and tired looking. Adeline and Orion had allowed us to have a quiet day, away from royal duties. I had spent mine with Holly while he stayed up late, playing video games with Noah and it showed. Now, I just wished he had stayed in the basement a while longer, allowing my plan to go just as I structured it.

"She's going hiking," I lied. 

"Oh nice, where to?" Ajax continued.

Holly couldn't lie to save her life and I didn't want to be caught in a fib. I panicked. "Okay Holly, it was really nice to see you. I'll call you later," I rambled, pushing her out the open door. I shot her a nervous smile before I closed it in her face, knowing that she would forgive me for my anxiety when she asked me for details later. 

"Is everything okay?" Ajax asked, scanning me over with raised eyebrows. "You two didn't have a fight or anything, right?"

That was one of the things that I loved about Ajax. He had become surprisingly in-tune with me, able to read my emotions so well. But, like a typical man, he was never able to place their origin. 

"I made iced tea, it's sitting on the back patio," I said with a cheesy smile.

And just like that he was completely distracted. "It better not be that American iced tea. I wanted old school sweet tea or whatever you call it. If I wanted your bull shit excuse of iced tea I would just leave-"

"It's sweet tea, now come on," I interrupted, taking his hand in mine and pulling him along. After all of these months together I still shivered at his touch and the way he stopped talking told me he was just as affected. 

We ended up on the back patio. It didn't have the view that the balcony on the front did. We couldn't see mountains and ski resorts that had turned green and lush through the summer weather. But, this way, there was easy access to a dense forest and no railing to hinder me. In my head, I had planned us frolicking through the woods together, in a moment of romantic bliss.

"Is everything okay, Keiko?" Ajax asked, still sensing my nervousness. 

"Fine," I replied, sweeping my hand towards the patio table.

He poured himself a glass and began talking to me about a small war that a local pack was waging against a much larger pack. He shook his head several times and complained repeatedly about how overly violent American werewolves could be. 

I was only half listening to him. I used the other portion of my focus to listen to my body. I felt the length of my fingers and rigidity of my finger nails. I swept my tongue over my teeth, imaging them sharp and hard. Weapons. I thought of how the world would smell, so much more potent than now. 

"Keiko?" Ajax said, noticing that my eyes had shut and I wasn't listening to him.

It didn't hurt like the first few times. And it didn't take nearly as long. The cheap, old shirt that I was wearing fought for a brief second before the seams gave way. The shorts that I was wearing stretched, the threads fell apart, shredding all of my clothing as my body changed. I still had to grimace when my joints shifted and my bones cracked, but it was so fast now, a strong pinch of pain before it was all over. 

And I was standing on the stained wood of my patio on four paws, panting with a tongue dripping out of my muzzle.

"Keiko," Ajax gasped, staring at me with wide eyes.

Then he dropped to his knees in front of me, seeming only stricken for a moment. His eyes swept over my whole form, then he extended his hands towards me, seeming unable to do much else.

"Come here, sweetheart."

I took three shaky steps towards him and it occurred to me that, though I practiced shifting often with Holly, we hadn't ever tried to move that much. I looked very much like a baby deer. Having all these legs to coordinate was much different and much less automatic.

Ajax didn't care. As soon as I was close enough he was touching me. First, his hands found my cheeks, just holding me and staring at me with a slack jaw. Then he was stroking the fur between my ears. His fingers trailed up my ears, making me conscious of how they swiveled to find every sound. His eyes searched mine and I let him inspect me, enjoying the shock that I could give him as he touched and stroked my fur. He was moving like a vet checking me over and I let it happen until he took hold of my jaw and lifted my gums away from my teeth.

A low rumble poured from my chest, coming out without any force from my conscious mind. For a second I didn't even realize that I had made that sound.

"Alright, I'm sorry," Ajax laughed. "I just wanted to make sure that you were healthy as a wolf is all. I mean look at you, this is incredible. You haven't even tried to shift in so long I was wondering if you even could." He let out a breathy laugh, wrapping his arms around me and burying his face in my coat. 

And I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the glass doors.

It was a peculiar thing to look at yourself and see a wolf staring back. But there I was. Small with black fur covering the entirety of my body. I felt like I was unremarkable, but Ajax seemed completely enamored. 

"You're so beautiful, Keiko," Ajax murmured, running his fingers through my coat again. "This is what you've been doing with Holly all this time, isn't it? Here I thought you were just gossiping." Another hearty laugh filled the air. "Come on, let's run."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he was pulling his shirt over his head which made me stare.

But, while Holly and I practiced coming in and out of my wolf form, we hadn't practiced staying in it. One moment I was wondering if I could coordinate these paws well enough to run. The next I was lying on the hot patio, the sun shining down on my naked skin.

"Sorry," I croaked to Ajax who just gawked again. "I'm not super good at this whole thing yet."

Ajax grabbed his discarded tee shirt and helped me sit up before pulling it over my head. Despite the fact that I hadn't moved much I was suddenly very exhausted. Shifting took a lot out of a person, which made it all the more impressive that werewolves traditionally shifted to engage in combat. They must be so fit to do that. When Ajax sat beside me I melted into him, thankful for the support.

"Thank you, Keiko," Ajax whispered into my hair, holding me close. 

"Can you tell me about my dad?" I asked. I had decided to not ask for a long time. Some days I wanted to know, others I was appalled by the idea. Today, i felt emotionally balanced enough to handle it.

"Now?" Ajax asked.

I nodded. I was safe here with him. He was all I needed. Everything else was just minor details now.

I expected Ajax to dance around the answer. He was the king of keeping me in the dark. But he kept his promise. "He has another family, Keiko. He met his mate and they are together to this day. They have a son together now. From what I understand he has become alpha, and a powerful one at that."

There was a pause. I said nothing and Ajax didn't provide any more information. 

After a moment he asked, "Are you upset, sweetheart?"

Was I? I felt like I should've been. The man who was supposed to be my father up and left me and my mother. I couldn't imagine how different my life would be if I had stayed with my dad, if my parents had tried to fight the mate bond. Ajax and I would've had a completely different relationship in the beginning. 

But would I give Ajax up for anything?

No. Never.

I wasn't going to defend my father by any means. But I also wouldn't burn him at the stake.

"No," I answered.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Maybe how we got here wasn't ideal, but I wouldn't trade this life for any other. Would you?"

There, still recovering from my longest shift, I leaned against Ajax as I stared out at the dense forest before us. Our home. And his hand was resting on my bare thigh, letting me feel the intensity of the mate bond flood through me.

"I wouldn't trade this for anything."

~~~Distraction Section~~~

Hey y'all! How has your week been so far? The weather is getting better here, soon there won't be any snow which means that I can go for bike rides and long walks. But, what I'm really excited for is planting my bee garden! I bought a whole bunch of flowers that attract bees and am also making a little bee bath so the little fells have a place to cool off and hydrate. Plus, the garden is going to smell amazing.

Question of the Day: What if your favorite way to be eco-friendly? Remember, every little bit counts so no act is too small!