Cas slept until the first knock of Sam's knuckles sounded on the door. Dean answered it, letting Sam and Jess into the apartment with a forced smile. Sam returned it and made room for Jess, who was carrying a large casserole. Cas was still in the bedroom and neither Sam or Jess asked where he was. They just made their way into the sitting room after putting he casserole on the counter.

Dean lingered by the doorway of his bedroom, not sure if he was supposed to go in and get Cas or just wait until he came out. The decision was settled when Cas emerged from the door, clutching a book to his chest and sporting a slightly dazed look.

Dean took his hand as soon as Cas set the book on the counter next to the casserole. Castiel gripped Dean's fingers tightly as he went to face Sam and Jess's smiling faces. Sam stood up and hesitantly inched toward Cas, glancing quickly at Dean to see whether Cas was going to jump him if he got too close.

Something burned in Dean, at that Sam thought that Cas was something that might go off it he got within firing distance. Cas wasn't a frightened animal or whatever. He was Cas and Dean didn't want Sam treating him like he might explode if he was so much as touched.

Dean had never been more grateful for Jess when she got up from the couch and pulled Castiel into a tight hug. Castiel tensed up briefly, but then he relaxed into Jess, burying his nose in her hair and gripping her tightly.

When she pulled away she said softly, "Hey, Cas." Her eyes crinkled when she smiled at him. "How are you doing?"

"Better," Castiel replied, smiling wider.

Sam pulled Castiel in for a hug and Castiel hugged him back tighter than he had Jess, then he went to sit down in one of the chairs that sat across the couch, saying, "Please sit."

Sam and Jess sat on the couch and Dean padded his way over to stand behind the chair Cas was in. It was too quiet for his liking, although Cas seemed pretty at ease with just sitting there and watching Sam and Jess, who were both tapping their fingers on their knees.

"Well this is awkward," Dean mumbled, before he realized that he'd said it out loud.

To his surprise, Castiel let out a bark of laughter and turned his face upward so he could look at Dean. There was more light in his eyes and it made Dean grin like a fucking idiot. Without thinking he bent down to place a kiss on the tip of Castiel's nose, noting the little sigh he got in return. He would have gladly climbed into the chair and onto Castiel's lap, but Sam coughed, reminding him that his brother and his sister-in-law were both watching him nuzzle his boyfriend, who was grinning up at him with a genuine smile that made Dean's insides flutter like someone had released a bunch of butterflies in his stomach.

Dean settled for just holding Castiel's hand instead, so that their intertwined fingers were resting on Castiel's shoulder as Castiel turned to address Sam and Jess, "How are you two doing?"

"We're fine," Sam replied.

"Everything's going well with the baby?" Dean asked, absently stroking his thumb over Castiel's as his eyes flicked to Jess.

Sam nodded enthusiastically and Jess made a face before looking down at her stomach and saying, "Don't tell me I'm showing already."

Sam laughed and took Jess's hand in his, whispering something into her hair, which earned him a smack on the knee and a giggle from Jess. Dean looked down at Cas as he watched Sam and Jess. He was still smiling and it made Dean smile as well. Cas was doing such a good job, hell he was doing fucking great for having thrown up just the other night.

There was another brief silence and then Dean noticed that Sam's eyes were focused on the chair that Cas was in, specifically on Dean's hand. Dean's eyes darted down to his and Cas's fingers and oh, the wedding ring.

Dean instinctively raised his other hand to cover the band, covering Cas's fingers as well. Castiel looked up at him with confusion and Dean's eyes flitted back to Sam who was smiling knowingly. Jess crossed her arms, tapping her fingers against her forearm as she said, "Okay, what's going on?"

Sam didn't answer her, instead he just crossed his own arms, gave Dean a pointed look and said, "Is there a little announcement you'd like to make Dean?"

Dean licked his lips and looked down at Cas, who was watching Sam with confusion. He shouldn't feel so nervous about this. He was so fucking happy that he was engaged to Cas, but he didn't want Sam to know for some reason. This was a special thing between him and Cas and after all the shit that had happened in the past weeks he just wanted to have this, to have the knowledge that he and Cas were going to have that happy ending after all.

Castiel's grip tightened on his hand and Dean could see recognition in his face. Castiel gave Dean a small smile before turning to Sam and Jess and saying, "Dean and I are engaged."

Jess's eyes went wide and Sam just smiled smugly while she said, "That's, oh that's great! When?"

"Last night," Dean answered, moving his hand so that he could finger the ring.

Jess's face split into a wide smile and she asked, "Have you guys picked out a date yet?"

"Not yet," Castiel answered, shaking his head slightly. He tapped his free hand against his pants. "Although I have a feeling it will be a ways down the road what with me still... recovering."

"You look great to me," Sam commented, giving Castiel a genuine smile.

Castiel's shrugged and leaned back in the chair a bit more, resting his cheek against his and Dean's fingers. Dean brushed his thumb against the hollow of Castiel's cheek, which was smooth thanks to his shave earlier. Dean preferred the light dusting of stubble that usually littered Castiel's cheeks, but he wasn't complaining, especially not when Castiel keened into the touch like a cat, nuzzling against Dean's fingers as Sam and Jess began talking about honeymoon destinations that would be great for Dean and Cas.

Dean leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of Castiel's head as Jess began talking animatedly about France as a good place to go. Cas just shook his head in response and said, "We've already decided that we're going to Disneyland."

Sam snorted. "Disneyland?"

"Yeah, Disneyland," Dean retorted, "Gotta problem with that?"

Sam put his hands up and Dean heard Castiel stifle what sounded like a laugh before he pressed his lips to Dean's fingers and then said to Sam and Jess, "Do you want anything? Water?" He looked up at Dean. "Are there a few beers in the fridge?"

Dean nodded and then looked at Sam and Jess. "Want me to get you guys some?"

"I'll take one," Sam said.

"And water for me," Jess told Dean. She got up. "But I can get them. You just rest, okay Dean?"

Dean lowered his eyebrows, but Jess put a hand on his chest and practically pushed him down onto the chair that Castiel was sitting on, which was easily big enough for two if you squeezed. Dean opened his mouth to tell her that he could get the drinks, but she shushed him and he gave up, slumping down against Cas as it suddenly hit him how tired he actually was.

Castiel's arms came to wind around him and Dean pressed closer to him. He was surprised when Cas squeezed him tightly and then rested his chin on Dean's head. He hadn't expected that kind of strength in Castiel's limbs. It seemed that Castiel was getting better by the minute and Dean hoped that it wasn't a show he was putting on for Sam and Jess.

Sam excused himself shortly after Jess left, stating that he was gonna go warm up some of the casserole and bring Dean and Cas some. Dean watched him go into the kitchen and then he turned to face Cas. He pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's lower lip and whispered, "You doing okay?"

Castiel nodded. He leaned his forehead against Dean's. "I'm still tired, but I really am feeling better."

"Thank God," Dean breathed.

He pulled Cas in for a kiss that quickly escalated into Dean trying to work his tongue as far down Castiel's throat as it could go. He knew that he'd said they should take it slow, but he wanted to be back in their old routine, wanted Cas to flip him over the arm of the chair and fuck his brains out. But he knew it was still way too soon for that, but French kissing like porn stars was a good start.

Dean pulled back so that Cas could take a deep breath of air before capturing Dean's lips again. They broke apart quickly though when Jess came back into the room, carrying two beers and a glass of water. She offered the beers to Dean and Cas. Dean took one, but Cas shook his head saying he wasn't thirsty.

Dean took a long sip of his beer, swallowing and gritting his teeth as the liquid went down. He hadn't had a beer in what seemed like forever, which was surprising. When problems arose he usually coped with alcohol, but the entire time he'd been caring for Cas he hadn't even entertained the idea of grabbing a bottle of Jack to wash away the pain of watching Cas not eat.

His entire thought process through the last week had been Cas. Make sure Cas is sleeping, make sure he eats, make sure he's still breathing when you wake up. It'd been fucking hard and now he realized that he was so exhausted that he didn't even know how he was keeping his eyes open.

The beer had put him into a sleepy state and his head lolled against Castiel's shoulder as Sam came back into the room toting plates piled high with macaroni casserole. He handed one to Castiel, who grabbed it and began shoveling it into his mouth, much to Dean's surprise. Dean lifted his head and whispered into Castiel's ear, "Don't go too fast, remember?"

"I'm hungry," Castiel replied through a mouthful of macaroni.

Dean grinned and kissed the underside of Castiel's jaw before snuggling against him again while Cas continued stuffing his gullet. Dean just hoped that he wouldn't be flushing macaroni down the toilet later that night.

A fork piled high with macaroni appeared in front of his face and Castiel's rough voice asked, "Did you want some? It's really great by the way, Jess."

Jess beamed and smiled into her water glass at the compliment and Dean's smile grew wider. He leaned forward and took the bite of casserole from the fork, chewing contemplated and yeah, it really was great. He smacked his lips in appreciation and told Jess so. Jess smiled broadly.

They made small talk while they finished their casserole and then Sam and Jess made to leave. While Jess was giving Castiel the recipe for the casserole, Sam pulled Dean aside and said quietly, "So Ellen called me." Dean's jaw clenched and Sam continued, "She told me that you're gonna be working hours at the Roadhouse."

"So what if I am?" Dean retorted, suddenly defensive.

Sam put his hands up. "I'm not saying that you shouldn't, Dean!" He put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "I know why you're doing it, and I'm glad that Cas is getting better, but just don't overdo it, okay?"

"I know what I'm doing, Sammy," Dean growled, "I can take care of myself."

"I'm not saying you can't," Sam said quickly, "I'm just saying that I don't want to get a call that you've keeled over on the way home from Bobby's due to exhaustion."

"That's not gonna happen."

Sam sighed. "Just promise me that you'll keep your health in mind as well as Cas's, okay?"

Dean looked over to where Cas and Jess were talking and smiling. Cas was doing so much better, but he knew that that didn't mean that things were going to get better. Money was going to be a problem and Dean was already fucking tuckered out, but he wasn't about to tell Sam that.

He just nodded and said, "I'll be fine."

Sam gave him an unconvinced look, and then went over to take Jess's hand. They both said goodbye and hugs were given again and then the door clicked shut behind him. Castiel sighed heavily and practically fell into Dean's arms when he padded over to him.

"Tired?" Dean asked, his lips in Castiel's hair.

Cas nodded and asked, "What were you and Sam taking about?"

"Nothing," Dean said quickly. He wasn't ready to tell Cas that he wasn't going to let him go back to work and that he'd be taking on another job because of it.

Castiel seemed to have different ideas as he pulled away so he could look Dean in the eye and say, "Tell me, Dean. I have a feeling it wasn't nothing." Dean bit his bottom lip and shook his head. "Dean," Castiel warned.

Dean took a deep breath and finally said, "I took on a few hours at my friend's bar. It's nothing too strenuous, but I know you're not going back to work anytime soon and we need the cash and I really don't want you to go back to Heaven and Hell."

Castiel's brow furrowed and Dean ducked his head so he wouldn't have to look at Cas's eyes. He hadn't meant for that last part to slip out. He wasn't in charge of Cas and if Cas wanted to go back to his old job then he shouldn't stop him, even if the thought of Castiel stripping again made his stomach churn.

"Dean," Castiel said in a tone that was entirely too level.

"No," Dean blurted out before Cas could say anything else, "You're not going back to your job. Not after what happened. You're gonna go through college and become a teacher."

Castiel's eyes went soft and he voiced reality, "Dean even with you taking on an extra job there's not going to be enough for me to go to college."

"There will be," Dean snapped, grabbing Castiel's wrists to stop him from cupping his face, "I'm gonna find a way. It's gonna be fine, we'll work it out and you-"

"Dean," Castiel yelled as Dean started to ramble. He wrenched his wrists from Dean's grip and angled Dean's face so that he was looking directly at him. "Dean Winchester," Castiel said in the voice that belonged to Emmanuel and not Cas, "It is going to be fine, but understand when I tell you that I will go back to work once I've fully recovered. I won't go back to Heaven and Hell, but I'm not going to let you work yourself to death when I can help. I don't need to go to college. We can just pool our incomes and maybe buy a house with a white picket fence and that will be that."

"No," Dean whined, pressing his nose into Castiel's palm, "I want you to be happy. I want you to get your degree and teach those kids about classic lit and educate them cos you're so good and-"

Cas cut him off again, this time with a finger to his lips as he said, "Dean, I am happy. I'm happier than I've ever been and it's not because of some college degree. It's because of this," he motioned between them, "because of you."

Dean looked at him and the tears that had been stinging at his eyes finally spilled over. Castiel brushed them away and then pulled Dean in for a tight hug. Dean sniffed and clutched Cas to him. He didn't deserve this. Cas was too good for him, too perfect. He needed to be under the hood of a car for the rest of his life, not in the warm arms of his fiancé. His fucking fiancé for God's sake.

"Shhh," Castiel murmured against Dean's hair.

Dean sniffed loudly and then said softly, "Why me, Cas?"

Castiel pulled Dean in for a rough kiss that left them both breathless and then he said, "Why not? I love you Dean."

Dean shook his head. "But I don't deserve you."

"Don't you say that," Castiel said loudly.

Dean couldn't help but think back to that morning so long ago when he had said the same thing to Cas, back when those words had been tugging at his tongue, and now they had said it to each other so many times. Dean meant it each time, and he knew Cas did too, but he shouldn't have this, he shouldn't have Castiel's strong arms around him, or those lips kissing away the trails of tears that still stained his cheeks.

"Dean listen to me," Castiel said softly, rocking a bit, his arms still around Dean, "I love you and I don't give a flying fuck about the shit you think you put me through because it's not true. You're the reason that I want to wake up in the morning."

"Cas please," Dean whined.

He didn't want to hear this. He wanted Cas to tell him to get out, to take the ring back and tell him that he wasn't worth it. But Cas didn't. He grabbed Dean's hand and dragged him into the bedroom, practically throwing him onto the covers before he straddled Dean's waist and locked their lips together.

Dean could taste the salt from his tears on Castiel's lips along with the lingering flavor of the macaroni on Castiel's tongue. He surged up into the kiss, hands fisting into the sheets as he tried to keep them off Cas in fear that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from gripping the other man so hard that he would leave bruises. It was still too soon for them to go at it like they used to. Sure Cas was feeling better, but that didn't mean Dean could ask him to fuck his brains out.

Castiel suddenly grabbed the edge of Dean's t-shirt, yanking it over his head and throwing it off the bed along with his sweater. He pressed their chests together and his hands came to grip Dean's shoulders tightly. Dean gasped against the column of Castiel's throat as Castiel ground their erections together.

"Cas," Dean gasped, "Cas I don't want you-"

"Shut up," Castiel hissed. He silenced Dean by thrusting his fingers into Dean's mouth and ordering, "Suck."

Dean did, moving his tongue over the digits and making a show of filling the air with the sounds of spit squelching around skin. Castiel groaned loudly and Dean didn't know how both their jeans were suddenly gone and Castiel was pushing him back on the bed and humping him furiously, their clothed dicks dragging together in the way that Dean had missed so much.

Dean groaned loudly and jerked his hips up. Castiel's ass was right above his cock and he could feel his dick brush against the crack of Cas's ass, even through their boxers. Castiel bit his lip and then he was dragging his boxers down and Dean's afterward before settling on top of Dean to grind against him properly. Dean bucked up again as Castiel's lips sucked at his pulse point. They were going too fast, Castiel wasn't ready.

"I'm fine," Castiel gasped as Dean made to tell him that they should stop. Castiel buried his nose in the crook of Dean's neck, whimpering, "Dean please. Please just..."

"What do you want?" Dean asked, rubbing his hands up and down Castiel's thighs.

"I want you," Castiel gasped, "I want you now."

"Then take me," Dean said, running his lips down Castiel's jaw. He flicked a finger in the direction of the nightstand. "It's in the drawer. Just be sure, okay?"

Castiel let out a little breath of air and then Dean heard the sound of the drawer being yanked open. Castiel's heat returned shortly afterward and Dean jerked a bit as cool, slick fingers worked at his hole. Castiel slid one in and then two, going faster than usual, so that Dean had to take deep breaths to adjust to the sudden breaching of those long digits.

By the time Castiel had four fingers in Dean, they were both panting hard and Dean was dying for it, for the feel of Cas in him again. "Cas, now," he gasped, "Fuck, please do it now!"

Castiel's fingers left momentarily so that he could slick up his own cock and then he was sliding into Dean in one fluid movement and making them both cry out. Dean gripped Castiel's shoulders. It had been so long, but fuck did it feel so right. Dean was full again and he threw his head back and screamed loudly, not even caring that the neighbors five floors down could probably hear him.

Castiel made a strange sound and then he was pulling out and pushing in again with the strength that Dean didn't think he possessed anymore. He lifted his hips off the bed to try and make Cas hit that spot inside him, but instead Castiel slid out again, and Dean cried at the loss. Then Castiel was flipping Dean over and pinning him to the bed.

Castiel leaned over him so that his chest was to Dean's back and Dean gasped as Castiel fucked into him particularly hard, snapping his hips against him, the sound of skin slapping echoing through the room. Dean gargled Castiel's name and he felt Castiel's lips on his shoulder, and then his teeth as Castiel bit down hard on Dean's shoulder before thrusting into him so hard that the entire bed shook.

Dean cried out and clutched at the sheets. Castile put a hand on his head, pressing his cheek into the bedspread as he pistoned his cock into Dean's ass once more. Dean's dick was pinned underneath him and he could feel the wetness of his precum. Castiel's grip on Dean's hair was becoming painful, but he was hitting Dean's prostate with each thrust and both sensations were overwhelming.

Dean sobbed into the sheets and then he was coming, soaking the comforter, Cas's name a plea on his lips. He could feel Castiel's release soon after, warm, coating his insides before Castiel went completely limp on top of him. He didn't even bother to pull his limp cock out of Dean for some while and then finally he rolled off him, landing beside him and taking deep breaths.

Dean reached a hand out to him and intertwined their fingers. Castiel gripped Dean's hand tightly and then brought it to his mouth, kissing each of Dean's fingers, lingering on Dean's ring finger before pressing his lips to the cool metal.

"Didn't think you were up for that yet," Dean said softly as he inched closer to Cas so that he could snuggle into his side.

Castiel let out a small laugh. "Me neither. But fuck did it feel good."

"You're telling me," Dean breathed. He threw his other arm over Castiel's waist and kissed the jut of Castiel's hipbone, muttering against the skin, "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Dean," Castiel replied

Dean didn't know when they fell asleep, but the sunlight creeping in through the window woke him the next morning. He smiled when he saw that Castiel was still lying next to him, curled into his side, breath beating against the fine hair of Dean's stomach. Dean dragged his thumb down the dip in Castiel's spine and then kissed the top of his head, letting his lips linger in Castiel's hair.

Castiel stirred awake, blinking up at Dean with unfocused eyes for a few seconds before he smiled and leaned up to kiss Dean slowly, their tongues dancing lazily together. When they pulled apart Dean said, "You sleep okay?"

Castiel nodded. "Better than I have in weeks."

"Glad to hear it," Dean whispered against Castiel's lips before kissing him again.

They spent the morning lying in bed, just talking quietly about how Dean was going to have to go back to Bobby's next week and he'd be at Ellen's some nights. They spent some time brainstorming for new jobs for Castiel and then Cas made the call to Heaven and Hell. Balthazar was disappointed that Castiel wouldn't be coming back, but he didn't say much more on the matter.

Dean made them a brunch as Castiel flipped through the help wanted ads in the paper. He soon had several circled in red marker and, after calling a few, had an interview set up at a bookstore a few blocks away from Dean's apartment. Castiel seemed to have gotten better overnight and he told Dean that all he needed was to get his mind in the right place. Seeing Sam and Jess had definitely helped and Dean went online to buy them the best baby crib he could find for Jess's baby shower, even though it was still a ways off.

The rest of the week passed quickly and Cas grew stronger each day. He was eating like a teenager and each night he'd slam Dean down onto the bed, saying that he had weeks of sex to make up for. Dean would let him do whatever, taking each thrust and bite with small groans because he had his Cas back again and those blue eyes burned with life each time Dean woke up to them staring at him, crinkled slightly by Castiel's wide smile.

Cas got the job at the bookshop and he was making good money. Mostly because the women that came in appreciated the hot new clerk who always wore fashionable cardigans and tight jean's that framed his ass. Dean often came to visit him when he had a break from Bobby's, if not just to glare at the ladies whose eyes' followed Castiel as he bent over to take books off the bottom shelves.

The nights at the Roadhouse were long, but Dean didn't mind because he got to come home to Castiel's arms and his lips, warm and wonderful. Eventually Dean stopped taking hours there. Castiel's income at the bookshop and his from Bobby's were enough to tide them over with a little to spare and he wanted his nights back so that he could spend them fucking Castiel against every surface of his apartment, where Cas had moved into permanently.

That little house with the picket fence that Castiel had talked about was a far off dream that Dean kept at the back of his mind. Castiel would often bring it up late at night while they cuddled after a few hours of rigorous sex. Dean was adamant that they would get it one day, along with Castiel's diploma.

They picked out a date in August for the wedding and it was the happiest day of Dean's life. Both sides of their families were invited and Dean had to stop Gabriel from making a toast every five minutes to the "great sex that my baby bro and his blushing bride have ahead of them". Sam and Jess's little girl, who had been born a few months before the wedding, was the perfect little angel as Jess rocked her while she watched Sam trying to do the moonwalk during the dancing. Dean nearly split his side laughing at his giant of a brother butchering Michael Jackson's signature move.

The night ended with Castiel shoving Dean into the cab that was waiting for them and then pinning him against the seat of the cab, kissing him soundly while the driver sped off toward the airport. Their flight was spent with hands intertwined and Castiel's head on Dean's shoulder. Dean smiled every time Castiel glanced down at the golden band on his ring finger while their plane made its way to California.

Disneyland was everything they wanted and more. They amassed a rather impressive collection of pictures kissing on each ride, a few of which they bought solely for the reactions of the people around them, especially the time that Cas had thought it would be funny to grind the heel of his palm into Dean's crotch. Dean had yelped loudly and the people in front of them had turned with equally appalled expressions right as the camera had snapped.

They spent way too much money on souvenirs and batteries for the camera, but they had to document everything, especially the kiss in front of Sleeping Beauty's castle. They had to ask a passerby to take it and Dean surprised Cas by sweeping him off his feet and spinning him around while they were lip locked. That picture was Dean's favorite of the bunch and he immediately made it his phone background as soon as they got back to the hotel, right before he fucked Cas with his Mickey Mouse ears still on.

They were both pleasantly sleepy on the plane ride back and they fell into bed that night, ignoring the messages from Sam on Dean's phone in favor of fucking slowly. Castiel let Dean slowly sink into him, muttering lost words against his shoulder as Dean groaned into his neck. They continued to make love through the night and woke the next morning to sticky sheets and a lost pair of pants, which didn't turn up until a week later when Dean finally looked higher than the knobs of his wardrobe and found them hanging from the top of it.

As the weeks turned into months, and months into years, that dream of the house and Cas going to college drifted into more of a pleasant dream than a possible reality. Money wasn't tight, but it still wasn't enough for that dream to happen. That didn't stop Dean from searching for ways to earn extra cash. He even bought a couple of lottery tickets for the hell of it.

Surprised couldn't even describe his amazement when he actually won with one ticket. The overall haul was a hundred thousand dollars and Dean actually fucking squeaked when his numbers came up on the television screen. He didn't tell Cas right away though, he wanted to wait.

He took Castiel out to dinner at the nicest restaurant and broke the news to him right as Castiel was taking a sip of his wine. Castiel spluttered and when Dean reassured him that he wasn't kidding Castiel actually got up and slid into Dean's lap in the middle of the fucking restaurant to kiss him firmly on the lips. Needless to say they were asked to leave after that, but they didn't care. Dean was still on cloud nine when he called Sam to tell him later that evening. Sam's amazement was seconded only by Jess whom Dean could hear screaming her congrats from the other room.

Dean gave Sam and Jess some of the cash and used the rest to put Cas through online college. Castiel aced all his classes and when his diploma came in the mail the first thing he did was swoop Dean up in a bone crushing hug and then give him the best kiss he'd had since their wedding night. The diploma was placed on the mantle next to the picture of the kiss in front of the castle and Dean put an arm around Castiel's waist, drawing him close as they looked at it.

"I'm so proud of you," Dean whispered.

Castiel leaned into the press of Dean's lips against his neck and later that night, as they lay basking in the afterglow of sex, Dean flipped Castiel over so that he could kiss his way down the inky feathers that spanned over the back of his husband. He said those three words with each kiss and when their mouths finally met Castiel whispered them back to him. They worked their way under Dean's skin until they were falling from his tongue again, and he knew he was never, ever going to get tired of saying them.