Minjeong's mind is a mess. She's battling whether she should go for it or not. She raises her hand to start reaching, but then a part of her brain screams.

"Stealing is a crime."

She scoffs and ignores the voices in her head. And again, the words were repeated, a lot louder this time, along with a harsh pull she felt on her arm.

"Didn't you hear me kid?" the man sounded mad.

Minjeong frowns and just stares at him.

"I could report you."

"I'm just hungry, I wouldn't plan to steal anything if I'm not desperate." she reasons out.

The man gazes her from head to feet. His orbs soften, he must have realized Minjeong isn't lying, just basing on how untidy her clothes are.

"How old are you?" he inquires.

"Fifteen."

"Did you run away from your home?"

"It's kinda obvious that I did." Minjeong shrugs and hides her shaking arms behind her. "It's been few days since I left."

"And you haven't eaten since then?"

"I did, I had some money but now, I don't anymore."

He lets out a heavy sigh. "Follow me."

"No."

"I'm trying to help you."

"I don't even know who you are, I won't believe shit." she refuses.

"I'm Eros. I own this shop."

"More reason I won't be letting you drag me, you could send me to some youth care center, I don't want that."

Eros crosses his arms on his chest while frowning. "You're unbelievable. You're bluntly accusing someone you don't know."

"I didn't have a nice childhood, you can't blame me." Minjeong firmly replies. "And I don't trust a man, let alone someone who caught me while I was going to steal."

"I am not just any man." he walks closer, enough to trap Minjeong. "I'm the god of love."

Minjeong squints. She raises a brow and stares at the weirdo in front her. "I should leave." she decided.

"You don't believe me?"

"No one would." Minjeong answers. "Mister, you sound like you haven't eaten for months that's why you're blabbering nonsense."

Eros smiles. Minjeong doesn't know why but she felt the chills running through her body. He snaps his fingers, and in a blink, they are at a unfamiliar place. A tv is playing at her back, Minjeong doesn't remember seeing an aquarium at the shop. She figures out, she's already at a different place.

Must be the hunger. Minjeong chants in her mind.

"This is my house."

She scans the area. The kitchen is at the right side from where they're standing, she could also see the close doors, presumably the bedrooms, in front of her. Minjeong gulps. This can't be real.

"H-how is that possible?"

"I told you, I am not just any man."

"No. I must be hallucinating." she shakes her head hard.

"Minjeong." Eros calls her. That made Minjeong stop, she didn't reveal who she is, how did the man know her name?

"Who the hell are you?"

He smiles, a softer one this time. "I am Eros, and from now on, you're under my care; that if you'll agree." he pauses before continuing in a serious tone. "So, what will your decision be?"

She didn't answer.

But, Minjeong didn't know by then, that dealing with a god comes with a price.

—

"This is bullshit Eros. How can she fall in love with me?" she's in the state of confusion, anger.

"Good question. I can agree with that." he says.

"Ughh! You're not helping! You're the god of love, can't you do something? She shouldn't be loving me."

Eros shrugs. "I guide people's relationship, not force them to fall out of love."

"There must be a way. Jimin can't stay in love with me. I'm leaving, she can't—" Minjeong wants to shout in frustration. "Why is her string red? Fuck!"

"Hey! Language!" Eros warns.

"I am just pissed!" She slams her hand on the table, causing the god to be startled.

"Minjeong."

"Yes. I'm sorry." Minjeong calms herself for a second before approaching the god himself.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Give me your notebook. Let me see the names."

"Not possible."

"Eros!"

"I already told you, you can only see this once you've become one of us, well not really a god, but you get what I mean." Eros stands from his seat while replying nonchalantly.

"What if I don't want to anymore?"

The playful aura Eros exhibited a while ago turns dark. He stares at Minjeong with so much intensity making the girl to take a step back.

"A deal with gods is something you can't unbind, mortal." Eros' voice echoes. "You should have guarded your heart better. You shouldn't have fallen in love as well."

—

For the nth time, Minjeong feels her phone vibrate. Jimin has been sending messages throughout the day. The woman must be worried because Minjeong didn't go to school.

Jimin:
Where are you?

Jimin:
Just answer me and I'd stop bothering.

Jimin:
Please?

Minjeong's chest tightens. She truly doesn't deserve this angel. A deep sigh escapes her mouth before she places the phone back to her pocket.

"I'm sorry, Jimin." she whispers to herself, thinking it would be enough as an apology, though she know it will never will.

—

On her way home, Minjeong stumbles onto someone she didn't want to see anymore before. She tried her best to walk faster, she hopes the old lady didn't recognize her during that fleeting moment.

Yet she assumed wrong. A familiar voice calls her name, so much longing that it almost made her facade to crumble, almost.

"Minjeong."

Minjeong turns her body to face the woman. "Mom."

Tears immediately swell in her mother's eyes. Minjeong has to look away to stop herself from crying as well. All these stupid emotions, they were the primary reason that Minjeong accepted Cupid's offer after he explained what she could get from the deal. Imagine living in a world where you won't get hurt anymore, that would hers after she completes the deal. Whenever Minjeong feels tired, she would only say 'just a little bit more and she'd have the life she wants' that's her excuse for everything. But then Jimin exists, and now, Minjeong thinks it's crazy, but hurting still must not be bad after all.

—

"I'm in love with someone." She chuckles after sharing. Minjeong doesn't know why she's telling her about Jimin, they are still not okay but her mother is there, and she badly needs someone to listen to her.

They are at a park. Her mother holding the drink Minjeong bought for her. They skipped the part of hi and hellos, the 'how were you all these years', Minjeong doesn't want to ask, even if she wanted to know.

"That's good. Tell me about him."

"Her." Minjeong corrects.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't—"

"It's fine." Minjeong inhales deeply, a smile hinting on her lips after thinking how beautiful Jimin is. "She's the best person I've met. I-I don't know how to explain everything."

"Sometimes, words are not enough to express how much a person means to you. It's fine Minjeong." Her mother nods and reaches for her hand. "But why are you saying that is such a sad way? Does she not feel the same?"

Minjeong shakes her head. "She does. But I messed everything up and she deserves so much better."

"My dear child..." her mother pats her head gently. "I'm sorry for not being with you all these years. I'm sorry for being selfish. I should have been with you, to guide you, to make sure you'll be okay. I'm sorry for everything."

The tears she's keeping escape. Honestly, she doesn't care anymore. Minjeong tightly clings onto the woman and embraces her. "I'm sorry too, mom." she cries, for everything that she had missed, and for all the time she will be losing.

—

Somewhat, Minjeong's glad her mother didn't ask deeper. It's a complicated situation, an unbelievable one. They spent the last minutes together with Minjeong walking her mother home. The house is not as big as Jimin and Minjeong's shared apartment, but her mother was so proud to share that it was bought by her father, how he is now a changed man and how he keeps on asking if there's any news about Minjeong.

Her heart warmed. Leaving her family must be the wake-up call that they needed to fix their lives.

"It's getting late, I need to go." Minjeong says.

"Your father is still at work, he might here soon." It was an indirect message but Minjeong gets what her mother wanted to say.

"I'm sorry, I just—I promise to visit this weekend." She offers when she sees the disappointment on her mother's eyes.

"Okay." The old lady smiles. "I am so happy to see you, Minjeong." She was pulled into a hug, with sobs and tears.

"Me too, mom." she replies.

Before leaving, Minjeong notices the very sturdy red string on her mother's wrist. She smiles. Loving and staying with someone are two different things, it's not just emotions, staying is a decision.

—

Minjeong didn't expect to see Jimin on the couch, with the TV still on when she arrived home. She thought Jimin would stop waiting for her, after all, she didn't say anything about the confession and ignored the girl for the whole day.

She doesn't know where did she go wrong. Minjeong has always been careful. She notices when someone is showing a bit more of a platonic love. She's quick in rejecting people because she didn't want to hurt them in the future.

Yet she missed Jimin's.

The first time she realized she felt different around Jimin, Minjeong was terrified. She hates the idea of loving someone, she can't be that stupid, she can't be the same as her mother. She kept on denying the emotions, she played it cool, Jimin doesn't feel the same anyway, she's going to be fine.

At least that what she thought.

Because all this time, Jimin has been in love with her. And the feelings she assumed she had burried a long time ago came out running like a flood after the girl confessed.

She's still a fool, madly in love with her.

"Hey...When did you arrive? Have you eaten?" Jimin stirs from her position and rubs her eyes that are half close. "Wait—Are you crying?" hands cup Minjeong's face instantly.

Minjeong chortles, but a sob manages to get out. "I'm sorry. Please, go back to sleep." she retracts herself.

Before Minjeong could walk away, Jimin tugs her back with so much force that caused her fall on the couch. "What happened?"

"Nothing. Don't worry. I'm fine." Minjeong lies.

"Minjeong. I know you."

She smiles and hangs her head low. "I met my mother today." Minjeong conceded.

"Really? Did you talk to her? How are they?" Jimin sounded so excited, it could be mistaken that she is the child instead.

"They're doing good. And yes we did talk. I also promised to visit them this weekend."

"I'm so proud of you! I am so happy!" Jimin suddenly hugs her. "What did you talk about with each other?"

"Just life things." Minjeong timidly answers. She's too shy to confess that they have been talking about Jimin to the girl herself. Not to mention that their position as of the moment isn't really helping to make her think straight.

"Jimin-ah," she softly says and slowly untangles the girl's arms from her.

"Sorry." Jimin sheepishly retracts.

They're filled by silence again. Both of them refusing to break the awkwardness. Minjeong's eyes landed on Jimin's wrist. The red string is still very much alive, floating, as if looking for the other where it could tie itself.

It's sad, really.

"Jimin, we can't be." She musters out a voice in the middle of quietness.

Minjeong wanted to take it back the moment she saw the hurt Jimin's eyes are reflecting. It took so much courage to stop herself from doing something she would regret.

She hopes Jimin wouldn't ask. She hopes she'll just leave, that Jimin would just let it go and forget about it.

"Why?" Jimin softly asks. "Do you love someone else?"

Minjeong wanted to lie and say yes, but that would too cruel, she can't hurt Jimin like that.

"No. It's just that—"

"You don't love me." It was a statement rather than a question.

Instead of answering, Minjeong chose to be silent. Not everything requires a reply. Sometimes, not knowing things is for the best.

And Minjeong's feelings for Jimin is something that she should keep to herself, for the rest of time.

____

my heart is breaking— ITS BREAKING

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