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"I think it will help me move on, but not in the way that I need," Her mouth opens before she even has time to think of the question. It felt like her body was stiff, and the only thing Elena can feel is a burning sensation to adhere to Caroline's demands. Her entire body was warm although she could hardly tell if she was still breathing. Her mind was in a fog, but one thing she could focus on was Caroline's prying hands digging around for answers.

"Deep down, are you sure that you want to move on?"

"Caroline, this is wrong." Caroline puts her finger up at Bonnie, trying to keep her concentration.

"No," Elena doesn't hesitate, answering at the same time Bonnie speaks to Caroline. Both of them should have been shocked to hear this answer, but they weren't.

"Elena, they aren't coming back. The other side is gone. They're gone." Caroline simply speaks this time, not compelling her to believe it even though she doesn't think Elena will listen to the words without it.

"You don't know that. Bonnie could--"

"No, Elena," Bonnie turns her to look in her eyes, trying to make her understand, "it's not the same. I can't do anything to upset the ancestors again. They're already pretty pissed at me for Expression, and I'm trying to get them to trust me."

She doesn't realize that she is crying until Bonnie becomes blurry. She turns away from her, not wanting them to see her this way, but they both put their hands on her shoulders at a weak attempt to console her. "It hurts." She chokes out, the sobs coming faster. "I-I can't..." She feels like her chest is caving in again as she takes a deep breath, choking out a sob right after.

"It's okay. We know." Caroline speaks, wishing that she would just take her offer already. She can't stand to see her best friend this way.

Elena finally turns to look at them, shaking her head, "You don't. I feel like I'm never going to get better. Every time I turn around, someone I love dies. I wake up and it seems like there is a big weight on my chest." She speaks in between sobs, but they are both patiently waiting and glad that she is finally letting them in.

"It's only been a month. It's going to get easier," Bonnie tries to reassure her, but Elena's mind is finally set. The pain is too much, and it is only going to get worse. She lost two people that she was in love with...on the same day.

She shakes her head, the tears still falling down her face, "I-I can't do this anymore. Caroline's right."

"I am?" Caroline and Bonnie share a look, knowing exactly what Elena is agreeing to.

"I thought I could get through on all the good memories, but it hurts too much. Those are the same ones that are making my heartache," She walks over to her diary, ripping out the pages that she wrote about Stefan and Damon. From the first day that she met Stefan to the most recent one today. "One day, I might want to remember everything, but..." She scoffs, throwing her hands in the air, "Care, you're right. I have to find a way to start living my life, and I can't do that if somewhere in the back of my mind...I'm waiting for them to come back."

Her two best friends watch as she goes through her drawers takes out a sweatshirt and some pictures, walks over to Bonnie and hands them to her. "I'm trusting you to keep these somewhere safe. To explain everything to me. Only then will I decide if I want the memories back. I know you don't approve of this, but can you pretend?"

Bonnie sighs, taking her belongings, giving her the best fake smile she can, "I'll do my best."

Elena turns to Caroline, wiping the tears from her face, trying to calm herself down. Caroline gives her a look, "Are you sure?"

Elena nods, and her eyes glide past Bonnie nervously biting her nail, and allow her focus to be back on Caroline, "You can always bring the memories back. I need to start honoring their memory, not wallowing in it."

Caroline straightens her back and takes a deep breath. She doesn't even know how long this will last, as she doesn't have a 'normal vampire diet', but she wasn't about to tell Elena that now.

Caroline looks into her eyes, focusing on every word she is saying as she starts with, "You never met the Salvatore brothers,"

a/n:

this is a short story so things will happen quickly haha.

a small trailer for this story is attached too if anyone wants to check it out!