STRINGS AND CHAINS

CHAPTER 34 - THE LAST CHAPTER

How would you spend your remaining time in this world?

Me?

I spent it with my friends and family.

After a week I told Raiden my choice, he suggested that I should go back home. I agreed. Hinatid niya ako ulit rito sa pamilya ko. And ever since that day, I spent my whole time with them. Hindi na ako bumalik ulit sa pag-aaral. I only had months or maybe a year to live so I planned to enjoy my time as much as possible.

For three months, I spent my time travelling the country. It was my wish and one of my bucket lists. I've never seen Raiden during those months. He told me he was busy with his work back in the Labyrinth. I understood. Magkano na rin ang utang niya kay Lauren. Ilang beses na niya itong sinuway dahil sa akin. Now that we both had time to finally do what we were supposed to do, we separated ways and worked on it.

I enjoyed my life and my time with my family travelling the country while he was busy doing tasks and missions.

Tinupad ko rin ang pangako ko sa magulang ko na babalik ako. At heto ako, masaya dahil kasama ko na ulit sila. Wala na akong pakialam pa sa natitira kong oras rito o kung gaano pa ako magtatagal, gusto ko na lang gawin ang mga gusto kong gawin kasama ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. At least, mamamatay akong masaya. Mamamatay akong kontento.

Kahit masaya ako, masaya sila Mama't Papa, hindi ko pa rin matatakasan ang kapalaran ko. I could feel it, how I was slowly dying. Mom asked me so many questions but I dodged all of it. I was afraid to tell them the truth. Pero nang sinabi kong gusto kong makasama sila at maglibot sa bansa, mayroon na silang hinala sa sitwasyon ko.

At 'yong oras na kailangan kong sabihin 'yon, hindi ko rin matatakasan 'yon. I had to tell them the truth.

We spend three days on a beautiful beach resort. It was a windy evening. I was standing on the door habang malayo ang tingin ko sa karagatan. Mom walked beside me. Inabot niya sa akin ang isang baso ng wine. Tahimik kaming uminom hanggang sa nagsalita si Mama.

"What's happening to you?"

My hair was completely white and some parts of my skin already wrinkled. Unti-unti na ring nanghihina ang katawan ko.

Lumunok ako habang nakatingin pa rin sa karagatan.

"I... I'm dying, Ma," sagot ko saka ako tumingin sa kanya.

I could see the pain and sadness on my mother's face but she just nodded. She completely understood what I gambled, what I did.

"I can see it, anak," sagot niya sa akin at doon na naiyak. She was crying for it was already evident on my body that I was dying and they could clearly see and watch it.

"Is there no other way to save you?"

"There is one," sagot ko at muling uminom sa baso ng wine. "Alam mo na rin kung ano 'yon, Ma."

"Maru..." Hinawakan ni Mama ng mahigpit ang kamay ko.

"Tell me again why you agreed to Lilith?" tanong niya.

"To come back, survive, and live..." I answered my mom and that finally made me cry. I burst into tears and Mom hugged me tightly.

"Why?" tanong niya ulit.

"So I can hug you and Dad again, so I can live with you again."

Huminga ng malalim si Mama habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko.

"So you'll do anything just to be with us, right anak?"

"But Mom—"

"Anak, we're old. This is a selfish wish but we don't want to see our girl to die first before us. You're still young, Maru. There's so much to this world that you still have to see and discover. I don't want you to die like this. So even if that's the only thing that can save you, so be it. We still love you and that's never gonna change."

I was so eager to be human again because I thought I bought shame to my family. When I saw Raiden's face when he saw me, I already made my decision that I would do anything just to be human again. I was afraid that my parents would not accept me. I was so afraid na may magbabago sa relasyon namin ni Raiden. I was so f-cking afraid but they never made me feel that I was unwelcomed. They did their best na hindi mangyari 'yong kinakatakot ko.

Raiden still love me human or not.

My parents still love me human or not.

"Is it really okay for you Mom? Even if turn like them, creatures that you kill?"

Tumango si Mama. "We already stopped, anak. We accept you no matter what or who you are. You are still our daughter, our one and only girl."

"Then do you accept him?"

Tumango ulit si Mama. "I've never seen you so happy. I can clearly see that he makes you happy. That's all what it matters for me, to see you smiling, Maru."

I cried in joy as I tightly held my mom that night. I kept whispering how thankful and happy I was.

"Thank you, Ma. Thank you so much."

It makes your life whole when someone listens and understands you.

I'm so grateful that I have these people who completely understand me.

That's enough for me.

***

After another set of months, I couldn't move my body anymore. I was too weak. I felt so heavy. I couldn't even breathe properly. My parents continued to take care of me even if it pains them to see me slowly dying. It was hard for them to see me like this. It was unbearable for them because they really couldn't help me. Even if ma-admit ako sa hospital, would it prolong my life? No. It was just the same. I would still die.

I spent my time staring at the ceiling, imagining my dreams when I was a child. I dreamt to be a successful businesswoman. I wanted to be the boss, the brain of my own company. I would focus on it until my company blooms in the market. I would be a big shot. I would be the CEO. And then after that puwede na akong magsettle. Mag-aasawa ako at magkakaanak. I would have a one big family. That was my dream before.

Pero ngayon...

Ano na ang mga pangarap ko?

I took a long breath and it was hard. Wala na. Ilang hingahan na lang 'to. Bibigay na ang baga ko at ang pagtibok ng puso ko.

I spent months thinking about the deal carefully. My mother's wish is for me to live, human or not. As long as I live, it's enough for her. Dad, too, believes that I deserve more than this. He couldn't let go his girl easily. They actually really stopped hunting for good. Whenever we encounter creatures during our vacation, they just snob it or lalayo na lang sa gulo as much as possible. But they said they can't really promise that they would not kill. After all, their names are known in the supernatural world. There would be time na sila naman ang hu-hunting-in ng mga nilalang na nakasagupa nila noon. And about my mom's family... isa pa 'yan. They were hunting mom and dad too. It was a miracle that they survived. At naipanganak pa nila ako sa mundong 'to at nabigyan ng normal na pamumuhay habang ang daming humahabol sa ulo nila.

Hindi lamang 'yan ang natitirang problema dahil nand'yan pa ang mga Liverton.

They wouldn't stop until they get the orb back.

Huminga ako ulit ng malalim. Tatlong hingahan pa. Kaya pa. May hinihintay lang ako bago ako tuluyang mamaalam sa mundong 'to. Hindi ko pa s'ya nakikita simula nang ihatid niya ako sa mga magulang ko. Hindi ko s'ya nakikita pero nararamdaman ko minsan ang presensya niya. He would just watch from afar. I don't know why he wouldn't get near me. He would frequently shift into dog, feeling ko. Malakas ang pakiramdam ko na minsan s'ya 'yong lumalapit sa aking aso. Tangina, natatawa na lang ako minsan sa sarili ko dahil kahit sinong aso ang makita ko feeling ko si Raiden 'yon.

I was just staring at the ceiling, counting my heavy breaths.

"Maru."

I finally smiled when he called my name. Naramdaman ko ang pagsampa niya sa kama. Tumingin na ako sa kanya. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko ng mahigpit at humalik sa noo ko.

"W-what... took you... so long?"

"I'm sorry I encountered lot of problems in Labyrinth, but I am now here."

"I can't... really... s-speak. S-sobrang hirap."

Tumango siya habang hinahaplos ang buhok ko.

"Save your breath and ask me the thing that you want to ask the most."

"Can you live... w-without me?"

He looked at me straight in my eyes and answered, "No, I cannot. I miss you every day. I am longing for your voice, smile, and touch. I miss how you would annoy me, call me, and take care of me. I gave you months to think about it carefully, hoping that you would change your mind. I also would love to annoy you and take care of you. Is it too much to ask if you could stay and let me do that to you until we die?"

"Now we're here. We finally reach the end. Now tell me, Maru, can you really leave me?"

Tuluyan na akong naluha at mas lalong naging mahirap sa akin na huminga.

"I—I miss you so so much... I can't—I can't—" I closed my eyes and tried to speak again but it was too hard. I was in pain, I couldn't breathe, and everything was so hard to do.

"Will you stop me from doing it?" tanong niya. I was just crying and holding him tight. I couldn't really answer.

"I love you, Maru. I would die every day if you're not here by my side, but I won't force you. I'll respect your decision. If you don't want it, I understand. Just remember that I really love you so much and I'll find you soon."

"Kiss me," I said. It was my one final wish and he did. He kissed me like there was no tomorrow. He tasted every part of my lips, touched every part of my body, and held me like a cherished baby. He was now on top of me until I finally let go.

I would leave the rest to him.

I took my one last breath and whispered to him, "Do what you have to do..."

And he did.

***

I WILL LEAVE THE REST TO YOU TOO.

FIN

06/29/19