L I V

Weeks had passed since I last saw Van. Maybe Adi couldn't notice I know what she was doing, but I did. I knew she was still trying to set me up with Van so that we could meet, and maybe talk. I had been seeing him multiple times since we saw each other the night Adi got 'lost and honestly, I didn't know what to feel about it. Was I happy I got to see him again? Scared? Annoyed? I wasn't sure. 

Though, I'm certain about one thing: I would avoid him as much as possible. Nothing good comes from being with him. 

Ayaw kong mabalik ang dati.

It was a scorching-hot Monday while I was walking back to my condo. Tanghaling tapat kung tawagin ng iba. Morning shifts were done, and my shift was different from Adi's and the rest so I  decided to go home. My head felt like it was being squeezed continuously on a hydraulic press machine; it hurt so bad. Kulang na lang ay magpagewang gewang ako sa daan habang naglalakad. Mabuti'y kaya ko pang maglakad nang maayo kahit papaano.

Siguro nga'y epekto ito ng mga tambak na aralin at gawain. It wasn't new for me to get headaches like this. As far as I knew, I always get dizzy every time I was stressed, but somehow this felt different. It wouldn't be surprising if this developed into something worse as soon as I get home. Something like a fever. Kailan nga ako uli nagkaroon ng lagnat? 

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang makita ko ang entrada ng aking condo. Binilisan ko ang aking mga hakbang patungong elevator dahil habang lumilipas ang bawat segundo, pakiramdam ko'y babagsak na ako sa sahig. 

I hurriedly press the button where my unit was. Waiting for the elevator to bring me there, I leaned my head on the wall. It looked like it would take me long to reach my floor as more people were coming inside. God knew how much I was fighting the urge to puke there and then. 

I screamed inside when I saw the number of my unit's floor. Finally, I was here. I dashed through the halls which seemed like a bad idea; it only made my nausea worse. The tiles of the floor came into twos, the doors doubled in number, and my vision spun around as if there was an earthquake. Not holding much longer, my knees gave out. Luckily, before I dropped down, I saw my unit number. 

Maybe resting here for a while would be a good idea? 

I fixed how I was sitting; I crossed my legs and leaned my head against the door. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I closed my eyes. What a day it has been. 

After minutes of resting in front of my condo's door, I heard footsteps directed toward where I was. Baka ung kapit-bahay ko lang 'yon. 'Wag niya sana ako husgahan ang magtanong kung  bakit ako nakaupo't nakapikit sa harap ng pinto. 

My curiosity grew when I couldn't hear the footsteps anymore. The person didn't even walk past me. 

"Excuse me, but what are you doing Liv?" 

My eyes shot open when I heard that familiar deep voice echo in the hall. What is he doing here? Pa'no niya nalaman na nandito ako? Coincidence ba 'to or what?

Wala akong nagawa kundi titigan siya't dahil na rin hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko. I was just thinking of avoiding him as much as I could. Funny how life works; the more you don't want to see them, the more you do. How am I supposed to avoid him at this rate?

Naningkayad siya para magpantay ang aming mga mata. Humapay sa gilid ang kanyang ulo habang tinititigan ako. "You're taking a nap in front of my unit." 

What. 

My eyebrows met in confusion. I didn't know which information should I process first: the fact that he said that it was his unit or the fact that he lived here. 

In the same condo and on the same floor. 

 "What do you mean this is your unit? 2106 is mine," I responded which only made his lips twitch upwards. "What? Is something funny?"

I heard the sound of heaven as he chuckled lightly. "No, that's not it. It's just that...That room is 2107," he said, pointing up. "2106 is beside mine. Napabaliktad mo yata."

I checked to see if he was right, not bothering to stand up. Even when I was sitting, it was clear the sign said 2107. Sa lahat ng unit na pwede kong mabaliktad, sa kanya pa? 

I bit my lip lightly, not sure how to respond to his reply. "Right. I'm sorry about that," was all I could say. I quickly stood up with one thing in mind: I need to go. But daggers shot straight into my feet, causing me to stumble down and lose my balance. As cliche as it sounds, I felt his arms wrap around my waist as he tried to prevent me from falling further. I backed away as fast as I can; I couldn't stand the feeling I get with his touch. 

"Are you okay? You look pale..." he remarked.

I brushed it off and walk past him as I replied, "I'm fine."

"But you felt hot--" I heard him say before I shut the door of my unit. I leaned my back against the wall and let the events that happened earlier sink in. 

Bakit dito pa siya nakatira? Should I just move out? Or should I just tell him to move out? No, that would be unreasonable. Gosh, we won't see each other that much, will we?  

Having enough of the endless thoughts that kept flowing in my brain, I sauntered to my bed and flopped myself down. 

Hindi ko namalayang ako'y nakaidlip hangga't bigla akong nagising sa katok na bumulabog ng tulog ko. Sinubukan kong tumayo at doon ko lang natanto na mas lalong lumala ang nararamdaman ko ngayong nakapahinga ako. Halos hindi na ako makatayo nang tuwid at makalakad nang maayos papunta sa pinto. Ngunit nagpatuloy ako.

Nang makarating ako'y dali-dali kong binuksan ang pinto. Bumungad sa 'kin ang nag-iisang taong kailangan kong iwasan ngunit laging nauuwi sa wala. 

There he stood in his plain white tee, hands in his pocket, and a plastic bag dangling around his wrist. "You're sick," he stated, obviously. He handed me the bag which seemed to have a Tupperware full of food. "I mean just in case you're sick," he added, his other hand finding its way to his nape. 

I didn't resist the food he offered me. Maybe I could use some help. I couldn't even straighten my posture, what more if I cook? 

I mumbled a whispered 'thanks' as I get the plastic from him. I was about to close the door when he spoke again. "Sure ka bang wala kang lagnat? Have you taken your temperature?" he said, trying to put the back of his palm on my forehead. I wanted to brush his hand away but I couldn't. Wala na rin akong energy para magtaray. 

Feeling my mouth dry, I just shook my head. I didn't think I was that hot until I felt his skin on mine. I wondered why blood was rushing to my face I felt his touch. It's the same feeling I felt when he caught me in his arms earlier.

I closed my eyes as I drown in his warmth. I wasn't sure what was happening to me. Around me. It felt good but at the same time, I felt like disconnecting from reality. His voice became muffled as I tried to decipher what he was saying.

One thing I knew, I could no longer feel my feet on the ground. 

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