A/N this was originally a series so it is quite long! Once again it's also old.. so enjoy 😭

It was like every other weekend as I walked to the Stray Kids dorm room, knocking quickly on the door, only for it to open, Felix wrapping me in his arms.
"Hello sunshine." He said with a smile, kissing me on the forehead.
"Hello baby. I missed you." I said with a smile, kissing him on the cheek.
"I missed you too." He said with a grin.
Noise came from the living room, making him sigh.
He kept his arms wrapped around my waist as we walked into the room, where the rest of the boys were sitting.
"Hey Y/N! Glad you could make it!" Hyunjin smiled, patting the seat next to him.
Felix hesitantly let go of my waist as I sat down, right between Hyunjin and Felix.

Piles of party food and drinks were littered across the coffee table, empty shot glasses covering the floor.
"Did you guys start the party without me?" I pouted.
"That party was just Jisung stealing all the vodka." Chan said with a sigh.
Felix wrapped his hand around mine, making me giggle.
"Anyway, you guys want to start truth or dare?Our guest of honour finally arrived." Hyunjin said, glancing at Felix.
I felt him tense beside me, but I thought nothing of it.
"Yeah, alright. Seungmin, truth or dare." I asked.
"Dare." Seungmin smiled.
"I dare you to... hmm... kiss the hottest guy in the room." I smirked.
Seungmin frowned. "Can't I just kiss the only girl in the room."
Felix pouted. "No, you can't. She's mine."

Seungmin rolled his eyes, before pecking Jeongin on the cheek.
Jeongin narrowed his eyes at Seungmin, before hitting him over the back of the head.
"Ow what was that for!?" Seungmin yelled, rubbing his head painfully.
"You kissed me, you germ." Jeongin said.
Seoungmin turned to me with a pained look.
"Happy?" He asked.
"Very." I smiled.
"Hyunjin, truth or dare." Seungmin asked.
"Truth. I don't wanna have to kiss anyone here, thanks. No offence Y/N, but you're taken so.." Hyunjin said.
"None taken."
"Would you ever cheat..?" Seungmin asked.
"No, of course not. Why date someone just to break their heart and mess around with someone else. You're just wasting a precious persons time." Hyunjin said modestly.
Felix's arm was rested around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him.

Hyunjin turned to Felix.
"Felix. Truth or Dare." He said, grinning.
"Dare." Felix said boldly. "Can't be anything that bad." He shrugged.
"I dare you to let Y/N go through your phone." Hyunjin smiled smugly.
Felix just shrugged, passing his phone to me.
"There's nothing amazing on there. The most exciting thing would be looking at STAY's messages."
"I'll look at those then." I shrugged. There wasn't anything on his phone like he said.
I scrolled through countless messages from STAY, all along the context of wishing him and the members a lovely day, and how much they loved him and the rest of his group.

Han came and stood behind me, looking over my shoulder.
"Look through his actual messages." He suggested quietly.
Felix pushed Han back. "When did you get there..?"
"Like, just now?" Han said.
"The dare was for Y/N to look through it, not Y/N and Han." Felix said, crossing his arms.
"I agree with what Han said though. Look at his messages Y/N." Hyunjin said.
Felix just stared, before shaking his head with a smile. "It's all just boring conversations with you guys."

Then his phone dinged.
New message from Ashley.

"Baby. Who's Ashley." I asked, turning to look at Felix.
"She's just an old friend from Australia. Nothing to worry about, you're a lot more pretty my sunshine." Felix said smiling, tucking a hair behind my ear.
My heart pounded loudly in my ears, muting his voice.
I clicked on the message.
Felix tensed. "I think that's enough Y/N.." He said through his teeth.

I looked at the message, and my heart shattered.
It was broken.
"You cheater." I hissed through my teeth.

!!Mild Language Warning!!

Felix gritted his teeth. "Sunshine..." He started.
"I'm not your sunshine, Felix. You cheater, you fucking cheated." I exclaimed, tears stinging my eyes.
"Please let me explain-" Felix started.
"All the evidence is here, on your phone. You've broken my heart, you heart breaker." I said, my voice wavering as I felt the warm salty liquid trickle down my cheeks.
"Y/N, please, just let me explain it-" He said again, this time reaching for me, grabbing a hold of my wrist.

Someone slapped his hand away, pulling me into their own warm chest. Their heart beat was slow, calming, unlike the unsteady beating of my own, which was basically hammering out of my chest.
"Don't touch her Felix. You've hurt her enough." Hyunjin snarled, keeping me close to his body as the tears rolled down.
The rest of the members watched silently.
"If you just give me a chance to explain, it'll all make sense. I didn't mean to hurt you Y/N, you weren't meant to find out-"

I turned my head from Hyunjin's chest, staring daggers into Felix's eyes.
"I wasn't meant to find out? That's real fucking great, isn't it? You go and make love with some other chick and decide to just never tell me? If there's no valid reason, you're just an asshole. Even then it's still wrong. It's like Hyunjin said, why date someone just to break their heart and waste their time?" I cried, smiling weakly. "We've been together for years, Felix. This really hurts you know. But we're over."

Felix just looked at me with wide eyes, before they clouded with sadness.
"I'm sorry.." Was all he said before he left.
My heart sunk. I still loved him. Of course I did. I had supported him since Stray Kids debuted, I loved him with my whole heart.
But he still broke it.

A small part of me wanted to believe there was a valid reason for this betrayal, but deep down I knew that wasn't the case. He cheated, and that's all there was to it.
My body was trembling as I lay in Hyunjin's arms, tears streaming like waterfalls down my cheeks.
"It's okay Y/N.."
He stroked my hair gently with one hand, rubbing circles on my back with the other.
The gesture was simple, but it made everything that was dull so much better.
After a while my sobs faded, my eyelids closing heavily as I drifted into sleep.

3RD person POV
Hyunjin lay on the couch, rubbing circles onto Y/N's back soothingly, gently, making sure she didn't wake up.
Felix wandered into the living room, his face puffy and red from crying.
"Why were you crying, Felix. You did this to yourself. I told you I'd tell her eventually." Hyunjin scowled.
"There's a reason for this, but I don't expect Y/N to believe me.. I'm going for a walk.." Felix said slowly, turning and exiting the dorm, the door closing with a click.
Hyunjin sat there with a weak smile, before closing his own eyes as he fell into his own restless slumber.

It was what felt like barely minutes before he was being awoken by his leader, Chan.
His own eyes were puffy, tears still falling down his face.

"Wake Y/N up. Felix got in an accident."

Y/N POV
I was awoken by small shakes as Hyunjin shook me gently, his lips twisted into a slight pout.
"Y/N, come on. We need to go to the hospital, everyone else already left." He said gently, helping me sit up.
I rubbed my eyes, still half asleep.
"Did someone get hurt..?" I asked, my voice still thick with sleep.
"Yeah.. Felix did.."
My heart pounded.. Felix..? This was all my fault..
"It's my fault isn't it.." I said quietly, mostly to myself.
"It's not your fault, Y/N. Him getting hurt has nothing to do with you guys breaking up." He reassured me, helping me stand.

"Are you sure..?" I said, tears threatening to spill once again.
"Yeah, I'm sure, trust me. Come on.." Hyunjin smiled weakly, pulling me gently by my arm to the front door.
I slid my shoes on, and so did he before we walked off down the apartment hall, down the elevator, and to my car.
Hyunjin hopped into the driver's seat, pulling the car into gear. I hopped in, and we drove off.
The car ride sat in silence as we drove through the dark streets of Seoul, the car finally coming to a halt outside the hospital.

My breathing quickened as I exited the car, a low ringing buzzing in my ears as the icy wind lashed against my skin.
Hyunjin wrapped his arm around my shoulder, smiling gently before sliding his mask up. I did the same, since dispatch is practically everywhere.
We walked into the brightly lit hospital, his arm never leaving my shoulders.
Hyunjin kept walking down the halls, until he stopped outside one room. He pulled his mask down and was about to talk when the pit-patting of someone's footsteps interrupted him.
Another girl came running down the hall, tears streaming down her face, her nose running.

She stopped a few metres down, looking Hyunjin up and down.
Possibly me as well.
"Is Lee Felix in that room..?" She asked.
"Who might you be." Hyunjin asked coldly.
The girl placed a hand on her hip impatiently, wiping the tears quickly.
"The names Ashley. And you're Hyunjin. Correct me if I'm wrong." She said quickly.
So this was Ashley.
I looked her up and down. Her body was perfect, her makeup done almost professionally, her hair curled neatly around her face in waves.
Everything except her spoilt attitude was perfect about her.
No wonder Felix cheated on me...

At that moment the door opened, Chan looking outside at us, then to Ashley.
"You're here.. come in L/N." Chan said in a quick attempt to hide my identity.
"Don't bother Bang Chan, I already know who she is. Now if you'll excuse me-" She said, squeezing past Chan into the hospital room.
Chan mouthed a quick 'sorry' to me before moving aside, allowing me and Hyunjin to enter.
Felix lay half awake, half in a daze.
Ashley ran to his side.

"Lixie!! You're okay! Thank god!!" She exclaimed, her voice raising an octave as she spoke.
So she was one of those girls.
Felix blinked, looking at Ashley.
"Who are you exactly..? Are you a STAY?" He mumbled.
"Lixie.. I'm your girlfriend.." Ashley said with a frown.
The other members looked clearly uncomfortable with the girls presence, while I merely stood there watching.
"No you're not.. you're not my sunshine.." Felix frowned. He turned to Bang Chan, who was standing on the other side of the bed. "Hyung.. where is she.. where's Y/N?"

Bang Chan looked to Felix with a small smile. "She's standing by the door.. you guys got in a small argument.. that's why she isn't holding your hand right now, okay?" He said slowly.
"We got in a fight..?" Felix said, his eyes shining as tears started spilling in his eyes. He pulled his hands to his eyes, small sobs escaping his chest.
"I'm so sorry Y/N.. whatever I did I didn't mean it.. please don't leave me.." he cried, his voice slightly muffled by his clothes.

I watched with a heavy heart, before walking over to the edge of his bed, kneeling beside it and gripping his hand in mine.
Hyunjin watched sadly as I left his grip.
Ashley watched me and Felix with anger in her eyes, her expression ready to explode at any given moment.
Felix looked into my eyes sadly, smiling that same smile I loved.
The same smile that had broken my heart.
"My sunshine.. I'm so sorry... please don't leave me.." he whispered, his voice thick as the tears escaped his lips again.
"Do you really not remember what you did babe..." I spoke softly.
"Y/N.. the doctor said he may have temporary amnesia.." Bang Chan explained.

"I don't think I did anything wrong.. what did I do.. and who's this girl..?" Felix asked, pointing to Ashley.
At that moment Ashley fumed, letting out a scream.
"Stop acting like you don't fucking know me, Felix! It's all because she found out you cheated! You didn't like her anyway! So why lie right now to get her back!" Ashley yelled, her breathing heavy in anger.
Felix stared wide-eyed and confused.
"I think I'd remember cheating on Y/N. I think you've got the wrong guy. You can leave now." Felix said, his voice icy cold.
My heart hammered at his tone.
I'd never heard it before.

"I'm prettier than that bitch. You'll come crawling back, they always do." Ashley huffed, storming off.
Felix turned back to me, that icy coldness from before gone completely.
"You're not going to leave are you.. that girl was lying.. you know that, right?" He said gently, his smile saddened as he looked into my eyes.
I smiled gently back. "I'm not going to leave you, Felix. Your word over hers."
He just simply smiled, before sighing and laying back heavily in his bed.

"I'm tired.. I think I'll take a nap.." Felix muttered, his eyelids fluttering as he fell unconscious.
I stood up, walking away from the bed.
The other members all walked off, Hyunjin waiting for me.
I gripped his arm as we walked down the hospital halls.
"Just take me home.." I muttered.
"Of course, Y/N." Hyunjin smiled.
He drove me home shortly afterward, smiling as I walked up my driveway and into my house.

Locking the door behind my I trudged to my bedroom, laying down with a heavy sigh.
Footsteps rang through my house.

I lived alone.

Opening the door slightly, I peered out into the halls of my room.

Only to be met with the eyes of her.

A scream escaped my lips, and then the pain began.

Ashley threw my door open, grabbing me by the hair and pulling hard, tears threatening to form in my eyes at the pain erupting through my scalp.
I grabbed her wrist, twisting it quickly to hear a satisfying click.
Ashley groaned, releasing my hair and kicking my side, her face turned in a hideous frown.
"You disgust me. What does a disgusting bitch like you have that anyone would love. I need to get rid of you. You're stopping my happily ever after." She said, pulling a knife out of her coat's pocket.

I rolled out from under her, grabbing a vase and hitting her in the back, running down the flight of stairs.
I patted my pockets for my phone.
Only to realise I left it upstairs.
I heard footsteps coming from upstairs as Ashley came running down, knife in hand.
She lunged at me, her knife causing a graze along my cheek, scarlet drops trickling down as the blade made contact.
"Stop moving, Y/N. Only I can have him." Ashley smiled maniacally, grabbing my arm and pushing me against the wall.

I groaned as my head made contact, the world blurring and spinning.
"Don't kill me.. you know he would choose you over me.." I said with a sad smile.
"No, he wouldn't, because he's stubborn. So if I kill you here, he won't have anyone but me." She said, holding my arm with one hand, her leg wrapped around my ankle to keep me in place.
She grabbed the knife again, pulling her arm back.
I struggled under her grip, kicking at her with my other leg.

"Ashley.. you really don't need to do this." I panicked. "Once his memories come back, he'll love you again." I said, struggling again
"That's the thing, he won't. He always wanted you over me. Why would he? You're disgusting." Ashley said again, positioning her knife.
"I'll leave the country, anything, just please.." I started to beg.
My life wasn't worth much to Felix, so I didn't care about that.
I was just scared to leave the rest of Stray Kids alone.
"Stop begging, it's just adding to how pathetic you are." She exclaimed, using a fast amount of force to stab me in the stomach.

I felt queasy and sick as the blood trickled down, my knees giving out, making me hit the floor.
Ashley grinned wildly. "Take a nice long nap, Y/N." She said, watching as the blood continued the trickle out.
I held my hand against my side, the warm liquid turning my hand scarlet.
I felt like I was going to puke.
"Th-This is manslaughter. You'll go to jail." I stuttered, my eyelids fluttering, my heartbeat slowing.
"No I won't. No ones going to find you." She said, slipping the knife into her pocket.
A banging rang through the house as someone knocked viciously against my front door.
Ashley panicked, running to the back door and leaving.

My vision became blurry, the knocking drowning my low breathing and slow heart.
Then a loud crash was heard as the door was knocked off its hinges, crashing to the floor.
My eyelids fluttered one more time, before I passed out.

3RD person POV
The boy knocked harshly on the door, heart racing.
Something was wrong, he knew it.
There was no answer.
He scowled, stepping back slightly, before running forward again, ramming his shoulder into the wooden door.
It crackled under the force.
He did it again, and again, until it shattered, revealing the house.
He stepped inside.
"Y/N!!" He called out, looking around.
Then the scent hit him.
The scent of blood.
Running to the source of the smell, he found her unconscious, blood continuing to stream from the wound in her side.
He held a hand over his mouth, stomach lurching.
With a shaking hand he pulled out his phone.
"I need an ambulance.. someone's been stabbed."

The ambulance came quickly, his heart pounding as they pulled you away, blood still pouring, but the pace had slowed, along with your heartbeat and your breathing..
"Y/N.. I'm sorry I didn't come sooner.." He said sadly, tucking a long strand of his deep black hair behind his ear.
Tears began to stream down Hyunjins face as he sat in his car.
"If I didn't expose him, you would be safe.. I'm so sorry.." He said, sobbing.
He sat there for a long time.

Y/N POV
I awoke weakly, my head dizzy, my side aching as I slowly sat up in my hospital bed.
Dim orange light filtered through the room, the sun rising.
I looked around weakly, to be met with a few pairs of eyes.
"Hyunjin.. Chan.. Jisung... what're you doing here?" I said, sitting up with a groan, wincing as I pulled at my stitches.
"Don't try to sit up.. You'll open the stitches again." Chan stressed, running over to my side to lay me back down.
With a sigh I followed his instructions.
Flashbacks of last night hit me like a train, my mind whirring at the memory, my breathing heavy as I remembered her face, as I remembered the way her knife twisted into my stomach, as I remembered the way she grinned down at me as I bled out.
"Y/N. Calm down." Chan said, rubbing circles on my palm.
I tried to even my breathing, but every breath hurt.

Hyunjin came over, pulling me gently into his chest.
"Y/N. You're safe. You're not going to get hurt again.." He reassured, rubbing my back.
I cried into his chest, tears streaming down, the physical pain and trauma making my sobs loud and neverlasting.
"She- she stabbed me.. all to be with him.. yeah, I still love Lix.. b-but I'd rather be a-alive than die to b-be with him." I stuttered, tears soaking Hyunjins shirt, my side aching as I held him tighter.
Hyunjin rubbed circles on my back gently, playing with my hair.
"Who did Y/N.. was it Ashley?" He asked calmly, slowly.
I just nodded in response, gripping his shirt tighter.
Hyunjin turned his head to Bang Chan, nodding.
Bang Chan wandered off.
Jisung walked closer to the bed, pulling Hyunjin away slightly to look into my tear filled eyes with a smile.

"Hey, Y/N. It's not like you to cry this much. Cmon, wipe the tears, you'll get frown lines. You're alive, aren't you? That's all anyone could wish for. It'll heal. You're going to be okay." He comforted, tucking my messy hair behind my ear.
I smiled weakly, my tears slowing to a stop.
"You're right.. thanks Ji." I said, laying back down.
Hyunjin smiled, patting Jisung on the back. "Thanks." He said to him, before sitting down on the seat beside my bed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"What the hell do we do. The girl's insane. But until Felix is in a stable mindset we can't do anything." Hyunjin grumbled.
"He's still not remembering anything?" I asked.
"Yeah, he's still the same as before. I'll go check." Hyunjin sighed, walking off with a heavy heart.

3RD person POV
Hyunjin smiled sadly.
Y/N still loved Felix.
He had left his chance too late.
Of course she loved him. He was amazing. Everything he wasn't.
If only he had asked her out first, Hyunjin thought.
Then his heart wouldn't ache like this.
As he was about to open the door to Felix's room, he heard talking from inside.
Right, Bang Chan had gone to talk to him.
Hyunjin couldn't help but be intrigued, placing his head against the door to listen in.

"Hyung, I don't know how much longer I should keep this up. Y/N will figure it out, she's a smart girl." Felix said sadly.
"Felix, you want to get back with her, right? As much as it seems wrong I think it's the best for now." Chan said.
"I don't like lying though.." Felix responded.
"Ashley's dangerous, Felix. It's better if you stay like this, it might make her less of a risk. She tried to kill Y/N earlier. She's in the hospital room just down the hall."
"She's what now!?" Felix said, raising his voice.
"Ashley stabbed her in the lower abdomen, around her stomach." Chan explained calmly.
"Fuck! If I wasn't playing this stupid helpless act she wouldn't be here! I'm so stupid! How can I let this happen!" Felix exclaimed.

Hyunjin's heart hammered, his mouth in a frown.
So he was acting.
Without thinking, Hyunjin pushed the door open.
Felix looked at him in shock, Chan turning to face him as if nothing was wrong.
"Did something happen?" Chan asked.
"No, not at all. Can I talk with just Felix." Hyunjin asked, avoiding making eye contact with Felix, in case his eyes showed his anger.
Chan stood up.
"Of course. I'll leave you to it." He said, walking off.
Hyunjin went and sat in the seat Chan previously sat in, glaring at Felix.
"I know you're acting, Felix, so cut the bullshit."

Felix sat there, silently panicking, before smiling, glaring back at Hyunjin.
"Yeah, I am. It's to protect her." Felix said.
Hyunjin scowled. "No, it's not. You're just being selfish."
Felix just scoffed. "And you're one to talk? You stole my phone, logged onto it without my permission, went through the whole thing just so you could have Y/N for yourself."
"You were cheating on her. She's better off with me than you." Hyunjin snapped back.
"There's a reason. It was to keep her safe. Look what happened, she's hurt because of you. I could care less about Ashley. I care for Y/N. And because of you she's in danger." Felix scowled angrily.
Hyunjin just sat there silently, before getting up and walking off.

"I'm not going to tell Y/N, it'll hurt more if she finds out herself." He said, shutting the door.
Felix just sat there in silence, holding his head in his hands, pain erupting through his body, lungs aching.
"Not now.. don't act up now.. stay strong for Y/N, Felix. We'll get through this.. then you'll have to tell her, about Ashley, and why you're really here.." He whispered to himself, wincing in pain as his heart throbbed.
Hyunjin walked back into Y/N's hospital room with a sad smile.
"How is he?" You asked.
"The same as before." Hyunjin said glumly.
"Ah.." You said with a sad sigh. "His amnesia is going to be a problem.. you guys won't be able to perform any time soon.."
"Yeah.. he'll be okay though. Give him a week." Hyunjin said with a small shrug.

Y/N POV
"What accident did he even get into?" I asked.
"Oh.. he tripped into oncoming traffic. The car hit him in the side, his head heading the ground.. that's why he has amnesia. I think that's the story anyway." Jisung explained.
"So he got hit by a car..?" I questioned.
"Yeah, basically."
"That doesn't explain it though.. he doesn't look hurt.." I mumbled to myself.
I sat up, hanging my legs over the edge of the bed.
"I'm going to go see him." I said, jumping out and walking out of the room.
Hyunjin grabbed my arm gently, making me wince at the sudden jolt, my stitches pulling at themselves.
"Y/N, you should rest." He said, trying to pull me back to my bed.
"I'm fine. Let go."
He let go hesitatingly, watching as I walked off.

I walked down the hall, counting the room numbers.
I eventually came across Felix's room, opening the door with a gentle knock.
He turned to me with a gentle smile, sitting up
"My sunshine!! You're okay!  I heard what happened.. are you hurting? Come here." Felix said, patting the bed beside him.
I reluctantly sat down, wincing as I pulled at the stitches.
He played with my hair, us sitting in a comfortable silence.
"I'm okay. It wasn't that deep." I finally said.
"Ah.. I'll file you a restraining order, so she stays away from you, from us, okay?" He said, twirling my hair in his fingers.
"You don't have to, it's fine. Can we just not talk about her please." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose as panic began to fill me whole again.
"Of course.. I'm sorry.." Felix muttered, pulling me close to him gently.

"I'll protect you next time.. I promise." He smiled, giving me small pecks on the cheek, running his fingers along my arms, making me giggle.
Just like the old times.
"Felix!" I exclaimed through giggles.
"What is it my love?" He said, tracing his fingers up my back, making me shiver and giggle again.
"Stop!" I chuckled again, trying to pull away.
He kept me close to him.
"Hmm.. no." He said, kissing my cheeks again.
I felt my shirt dampening.
As I looked down, scarlet blood began seeping through my shirt, pain piercing through my side.
"Felix let go-" I said again, pulling away.
He let me go.

I got off the bed, pulling my shirt up.
The bandage was soaking wet with fresh blood.
I felt my knees wobble, my heart hammer, head dizzy as I slumped into the chair.
Felix watched with anxious eyes, hitting the call nurse button.
"They're coming sunshine.. don't worry.." He said gently, reaching his arm out to grab mine.
That's when I noticed how skinny his arms had become, how many IV plugs were attached to his skin.
It couldn't have just been a car accident.
The nurses came, rushing to Felix's side.
"Y/N needs help. I think her stitches split. She's a patient here too." He explained, pointing to me.
The nurse nodded, turning to me.
I held my shirt up, allowing her to remove the bandage and examine the stitches.

"They're not split, just a bit stretched. I'll pull it tight. This will sting." The nurse said, looping part of the string in a medical instrument.
I grabbed Felix's hand, gripping it tight as she tugged at the string, tightening it so it wouldn't break again.
"Try not to move too much. I'll leave a wheelchair in here for you to leave in." The nurse said.
"Thank you." I said as she placed the bandage back on, releasing Felix's hand from my grip.
The nurse smiled, before turning to leave.
I turned to Felix.
"Lix.. What accident did you get into?" I asked.
"I just got hit by a drunk driver. I'm okay." He said with a smile.
"Alright..." I said.

Felix looked around the room slowly, his eyes glazing as he zoned out.
Then he tensed.
"Y/N. Can I ask you a favour?" He said heavily, almost coldly.
I flinched at the tone.
"Yes, of course.." I said, worry filling my core.
"Please go home and rest.. I'll be home soon.. Can you ask Chan to come back? I need to discuss something with him." He said, his voice croaking and hoarse.
I blinked, standing up slowly.
"Are you okay?" I said, reaching out for his hand.
"Y/N. Please leave." He said, his voice gravelly.
I just stood there, before turning and leaving with a heavy heart.
Then I heard the coughing, the spluttering, and I turned, heart pounding, as I watched crimson liquid splattering the bed sheets.
The crimson substance spilling from Felix's mouth.

I turned around, instantly rushing to his side, warm liquid threatening to spill from my eyes.
"Felix!? What's wrong? Why are you coughing up blood!?" I asked, quickly hitting the call nurse button.
"It- It's nothing. I'll be fine, go home." He said, his voice thick and hoarse,
"No, I'm not going. What's wrong!?" I asked, the tears spilling down my cheeks.
"Y/N.. I'll explain later.. please.. go.. it hurts to talk.." he said, his voice raspy.
I gave him a kiss on the head and rushed out, calling Bang Chan.
"Ah, Y/N, what's up?"
"Somethings wrong with Felix.. he was coughing up blood, and he looked ghostly pale." I stuttered, half falling into the wall as pain erupted through my side.
"I'll be right there. Y/N, go back to Hyunjin and Jisung, they'll take you home. You'll rip your stitches."

With that he hung up, leaving me stumbling against the wall back to my room.
I entered to find Hyunjin and Jisung sitting in silence.
Jisung turned to me, standing up.
"Y/N, let's head home, okay?" He said, reaching for me slowly.
I just nodded, mixes of emotions and heartache hitting me hard.
Yes, he hurt me. But there has to be a reason.
Hyunjin helped me into the car, and we drove back to the dorms in silence.
When we arrived Hyunjin pulled me into his room, pointing to his bed.
"You can lay in here. The other members will sleep on the couch and stuff. Rest up." He smiled, before walking off and leaving me and my thoughts in silence.

The pain of the last few days finally hit. I lay in his bed and cried, huge tears slipping down my face, throat hiccuping, heart pounding in a melancholic beat.
"Why couldn't everything stay like the fairytale it was.." I cried.
"Then I wouldn't feel like there was a gaping hole in my chest.."
I cried until my eyelids felt heavy, as sleep overtook my senses.
Sleep was a painless medicine to this pain anyway.
My dreams were full of horrible images.
Of Felix bleeding, of Ashley stalking me, weapon in hand. Of Hyunjin jumping in front to protect me. Of his eyes turning glassy, lifeless...

I awoke with heavy breaths, heart aching, tears streaming down my face.
It all felt so real.
"Hyu- Hyunjin..." I sobbed, grabbing his pillow in my arms, squeezing it tight.
At that moment Hyunjin opened the door, looking at me surprised.
"You're awake?? Woah, what's with the tears. You alright? Hey, it's okay.." he said, rushing to hold me in his arms, rubbing my head.
"I had a nightmare... it was horrible.." I cried, staining his shirt with my tears.
"It's just a dream.. it's not real.. whatever happened isn't going to happen, okay?" He comforted me.
I just nodded, the tears slowing.
"Thank you.." I said, snuggling my head into his neck.
Hyunjin smiled gently.
"No problem..."
We stayed like that for the rest of the night, until we both drifted into sleep once more, still entangled in each other's embrace.

The next morning I woke up, a flustered mess as I pulled away from Hyunjin.
"Y/Nnnn, five more minutes.." he whined.
"I need to go visit Lix.. he wasn't well yesterday.. he coughed up blood, and could barely talk.. somethings wrong.." I said, pushing him away.
"I'll drive you.. you need some clothes, too." Hyunjin groaned, sitting up. He eventually stood up and rummaged through his drawers, eventually pulling out a pair of his sweatpants and a large tshirt.
I nodded a small thanks to him, before running to the bathrooms to get changed.
I came out to see Hyunjin making breakfast for the both of us.
"All the other members have already left, presumably to practice or see how Felix is doing." He said, explaining the silence I was drowning in.
"Ah.. alright." I said.
We ate in silence, before we walked to the car, driving to the hospital.

We walked to Felix's room, only to find him and Chan in a hushed conversation.
"Should we knock and head in..?" I whispered.
"I mean that's the polite thing to do.." Hyunjin whispered back.
"I can't tell Y/N, Chan. It'll break her. I still need to explain that Ashley had me blackmailed, but she thinks I can't remember anything." Felix spoke.
I felt my heart pound.
So he was lying.
What did he mean by being blackmailed?
Hyunjin froze beside me.
"Hyunjin, open the door, or move to the side." I growled.
He moved to the side hastily as I knocked the door down, staring Felix down.
"So you were faking it, huh? You better explain everything, now." I growled.

Felix stared at me wide-eyes before sighing.
"I'm really sorry Y/N.. I had to fake the amnesia, I thought you wouldn't talk to me otherwise.. But it also caused you more pain.. Ashley- she was blackmailing me.. she had videos of us together.. of us kissing, of us hugging, of us.. almost everything we did. If they got out your life would be impacted, dispatch would follow you, STAY would hate you, and you would be so pressured and hurt.. so I tried to make a deal with her.. I said I would do whatever she wanted.. and she forced me to date her, forced me to kiss her, to touch her, to love her.. I hated every moment of it. Dealing with her was a living hell. She was the embodiment of a petty princess, who always wants things her way, and I hated that. But I couldn't break away from her, because she'd release those tapes.. then she tried to kill you.. and I couldn't do anything, because I'm stuck here in this damned hospital due to this stupid fucking disease!" Felix explained, covering his mouth at the last sentence.
"As in disease I mean the accident, y-yeah.." He stuttered.
He coughed the same way he did yesterday, blood rising in his throat.

"Felix.. what disease are you talking about.. please don't lie to me this time..."

"Y/N.. it's just a cold.." he coughed.
"Felix, tell me what's wrong." I asked, grabbing his hand in mine, making eye contact with him.
Felix sighed.. "Alright..." He said, sitting up.
"It's been at least a year, Y/N, since I was diagnosed. The doctors said the arteries around my heart had hardened, making it difficult to breath. But I'm an idol, so I couldn't just quit my job.. so I ignored the treatment they had set out for me.. and it caused it to grow worse.. the muscles around my lungs began to harden too, which caused the coughing... I left it too long, Y/N.. I don't think they can fix me.. and if they can, it isn't going to be cheap.."

I felt tears sting my eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me.. we could've gotten you treated faster.. if money was the problem I could've helped." I said, tightening my grip on his hands.
"It's not that I didn't have the money, it's just I didn't want you to worry about me.." he said, avoiding my eyes.
"Of course I'd worry about you, Felix! I love you, and to think you're hurting makes me worried, of course it will!! Please don't hide things from me.." I said, the tears falling.
"I'm sorry.." he whispered, sobbing into my chest, the blood from his mouth staining my shirt.
"Don't apologise, Lix.." I said, crying into his shoulder.
The nurse walked in at that moment.
"If you'll give me a moment with Mr Lee, we need to run some tests." The nurse said.
I nodded.
"How much will treatment cost.. he's ready to start it." Bang Chan said, standing up.

The nurse fumbled with her trolley, handing a slip of paper to Bang Chan. He grimaced as we left the hospital room, looking over the bill.
"Ah, this is going to cost a lot. It's okay.." he said.
Hyunjin walked slightly behind us.
"I mean we have nine people's paychecks to work from, so it shouldn't be too bad.." Hyunjin said.
"I'll work overtime.. we'll get him back." I said, smiling weakly through the tears.
For the next few months the whole of Stray Kids were on hiatus, only doing important events as Felix was being treated.
I worked six of seven days a week, giving all my money into Felix's treatment.
He began to cough less often, and when he did it was less harsh, less harmful to him.
Everything was beginning to turn around.
After four months of treatment, he was allowed to come home.

As Chan helped him through the door of the apartment, I jumped into his arms.
"Baby! How are you!? You alright!?" I asked, giving him a few pecks on his cheek.
"I'm feeling better, thank you." Felix smiled, giving me a small kiss. He coughed slightly, but he smiled nonetheless.
We all sat around the living room, talking and messing around for hours.
Everything felt like normal, not including the few heart-breaking coughs echoing from Felix's chest.
Then there was a harsh knock on the door.
"I'll go get it!" I said, jumping off the couch, opening the door.
"Of course his sunshine is here." The girl grumbled, mimicking the word sunshine.
"Ashley.." I mumbled. "What do you want." I said sternly.
Ashley walked inside the apartment, hands in pockets.
"Ah, just thought I'd come talk to my boyfriend." She said, heading through to the living room.
I rushed to Felix's side, pushing him closer to the wall.

He scowled as he saw her, before coughing weakly.
"We put a restraining order on you. Leave or we'll call the police." Bang Chan said, grabbing his phone.
Ashley pulled out a knife, making me feel sick.
It was still slicked with a deep red stain.
That was what she had used against me moths ago.
She pointed it towards Chan.
"Call them, and one of you will end up dead. Preferably Y/N." She growled, walking through the living room, standing near me and Felix.
"Ashley, go away." He said gently, pushing me behind him, coughing gently.
"Hmm, no. You know, I still have those tapes." She cooed.
"Release them and I'll have you jailed." He scowled, his voice darkening.
"No you won't." She said with a grin.
Before I knew it, she had pushed Felix aside, making him stumble and knock into the wall, grabbing my shoulder and shoving me into the wall.

I felt my knees weaken again. It was happening. She was going to make sure I died this time, I know it.
Then she was pushed away, her body crashing to the floor with another, a scarlet-covered knife sliding across the room as she was held down.
Hyunjin pushed her head into the floor, narrowing his eyes.
"Call the police." He simply said.
The police arrived shortly afterwards, and Ashley was arrested.
When Hyunjin jumped at her, he was cut along his cheek, but it wasn't deep.
Ashley wasn't coming back.
That was a known fact.
Felix had watched everything with a pained face, before wandering off to his room, apparently to lay down.
But I had seen the blood on his hand, and my heart was pounding in agony.
I let him be for a few hours, before I went to check on him.
"Hey Lix, are you alright-"
I couldn't even finish my sentence.

Blood was covering his sheets, dripping from his mouth.
His hands were to his chest as he coughed, choking and spluttering.
I ran over to his side, helping him get the liquid out of his lungs.
"Lix.. I thought the treatment was helping.." I said, body trembling.
"I- It was.. I thought so too.. but suddenly my chest feels h-heavy again.." Felix said, coughing.
"Felix... let's get you to the hospital, come on.." I said, pulling him into my arms.
"No hospitals.. Y/N, j-just stay with me, okay?" He whispered, eyelids flickering.
I began to cry.
"I'm staying.. I'm not going anywhere.." I whispered, wiping the blood from his mouth.
"Good.. I'm so sorry I wasn't better.. all those months ago.. when I hurt you.. that was horrible of me.. I'm sorry.." he said, his voice barely a whisper, blood bubbling from his mouth.

"Felix.. yes, you hurt me, but that doesn't matter anymore.. my heart has healed over since then.." I said, my voice weakening.
"Ah.. that's good.. promise me something.. be good to them.. I don't think I was very nice to my members recently..." he said, his eyes turning dull.
"Lix.. you've been amazing.." I sobbed.
Felix smiled at me, touching my cheek weakly, before going limp in my arms, his body cold.
"I really wanted to grow old with you, Y/N, but I guess my heart was too broken to be fixed."