It's a clear starry night in the countryside filled with crickets chirping. The scorching heat from the day has subsided and is now replaced by a comfortable warm breeze in the air. Tonight, both boys snuck out of bed to sit under the stars, laying side by side on top of stacked hay bales in the far corner of the field. Their only source of light being Arthit's old hand-cranked flashlight sitting beside him.

"Oon, how many stars do you think there really are?" Kong doesn't know why he asked such a silly question but he finds himself doing silly things these days.

"Billions? I don't know. Definitely more than we can count, so don't even try," Arthit replies happily before taking another bite of his strawberry.

Kong glances over at Arthit with a little smile, watching him eat and slurping the juice in the little light. He hopes Arthit will always be this happy.

"Hey, what are you looking at?" Arthit turns to his side to face Kong.

"You. What else is there?" Kong leans over to give him a kiss. He likes the taste of Arthit's soft strawberry tasting lips. They're quite addicting.

Arthit's breath hitches as Kong leans into him and he gently clutches onto Kong's shoulder. It's not his first kiss anymore, but it's still very new to him. It's still very exciting and he's still very nervous every time their lips touch. They've kissed at least once every day since their first time. And now he tries to remember to breathe when they kiss but he still feels like he needs to catch his breath every time it's over. Will it always be like this?

Kong smiles and speaks against Arthit's lips, "you taste like strawberries."

"Yeah? You taste like cigarettes." Arthit squints from Kong's bangs tickling his face.

"Hey, you get a taste without actually smoking."

"You're really not going to let me try it?" Arthit asks with a pout that Kong can't really see with the little light behind him.

"No." Kong leans back chuckling softly.

"So stingy." Arthit leans back too, staring at the stars and enjoying the calm again. "You know, someone once told me that when people pass away, they become stars so they can watch over their loved ones."

Kong takes another drag of his cigarette, "do you actually believe that? That's only something they tell a child."

"I know, but a part of me wants to believe that. I want to believe my nana is up there. At least that way I can still see her."

"Mmm...I wish I could still see my Ma too," Kong admits out loud for the first time since his mother has been gone.

"I'm glad the wound is healing nicely and it doesn't look like it will scar over your Ma's name." Arthit looks over to Kong's bandage. It's been ten days since that eventful night. It still amazes him how Miss Sue and his Pa actually bought their story that a hung tool shelf in the barn had fallen on Kong and caused all those bruises and a cut to his arms. And of course, they really did yank a shelf off to make it look real. Phew.

"Me too." Kong looks over to his mother's name on his arm.

"Can you tell me about her? You don't have to if you don't want to. I understand." Arthit lays to his side to face Kong.

Kong stays quiet for a moment collecting his thoughts. Where should he even begin? He's never really talked about his mother to anyone before.

"Mmm...my Ma was beautiful and kind. She was very innocent like you. You remind me of her sometimes."

"Hey!"

"What? It's a good thing." Kong chuckles, staring at a particularly bright star. "She was only 18 when she married my Pa who was a salesman just out of college. My Pa was in the countryside selling some miracle grow crap to all the farmers around here. My grandpa wasn't convinced so my Pa asked to stay here and demonstrate the product. Well, you know, plants don't exactly just grow overnight. So my Pa stayed and met my Ma. They fell in love I guess, and when my Pa had to leave, my Ma insisted on leaving with him. My grandparents were against it but they couldn't stop my Ma from leaving.

When they got to the city, my Pa's parents were also against them being together because they were still so young. So my parents moved out on their own and struggled a lot. My Ma got a job at a bakery to help out with money but her boss turned out to be a major creep so my Pa made her quit and didn't let her work again. And soon she was pregnant with me and she really couldn't work. My parents didn't want to have me out of wedlock so they quickly got married without any family blessings. My Ma hadn't seen or spoken to her own parents until I was 1 and she brought me to this farm. Because back then, they didn't even have a telephone here. My Ma told me that they had to drive to the town center to use the payphones or borrow from the closest neighbor with a phone."

"Mmm...that must have been really tough for her." Arthit tries to make out Kong's profile in the dark.

"Yeah, and my Ma didn't really have friends to talk to because she was stuck at home with a baby while people her age were just beginning to explore the world and enjoy their youth. Older people only pitied her and talked about her behind her back. So my Ma kept to herself for the most part. I knew she was very lonely."

"But she had you and your Pa," Arthit adds.

"Yeah, but at that point, my Pa was working two jobs to support the family and he barely had time to do anything else. But my Ma and Pa were stupidly happy and in love. So it was fine for a few years, and my Ma would come back to visit here as often as possible."

"That's good then."

"Well, I eventually had to start school and my Ma had to stay home alone all the time. And she was only able to come to visit during my summer break, like now. My grandpa passed away when I was 4 and that's when Aunt Sue hired Uncle Dan to help around the farm. I do remember him carrying me around in a basket." Kong smiles at the fond memory.

"My Pa never even carried me in a basket. That's not fair, you know?" Arthit pouts. He and Lizzy didn't move to the farm's cottage until their nana passed away when he was 12.

"Hey, if you can find a basket big enough to hold you, I'll carry you. Okay?" Kong chuckles and ruffles Arthit's hair.

Arthit pushes Kong's hand away, "whatever. Go on with the story."

"Well, on top of me going to school, we also moved a lot because of my Pa's work. So it really was near impossible for my Ma to make real friends. Even I had trouble making stable friends. Every year I had new classmates. So my Ma and I were like each other's best friend in a way."

"And your Pa," Arthit adds again.

Kong takes another drag before continuing. "It was great when he was at home. My Ma would smile all day and night when he was around. They looked so in love but Pa was too busy to stick around most of the time. He eventually started his own business and got even busier. So our house kept getting bigger and nicer, but we saw him less and less. And whenever I got mad at my Pa for not being around, Ma would always tell me that Pa was doing all this for us." Kong sighs.

"Your Ma was so understanding but you sound like a brat."

"I was not. I used to have near perfect grades. I used to save all my test scores and report cards just to show my Pa when he came home. I really wanted him to be proud of me and praise me because that's when he spent the most time talking to me. He would tell me he's working really hard to build a big company so that one of these days I can take over and take care of him and Ma. And then he can finally travel the world and spend time with Ma." Kong takes a deep breath to control his emotions at the memories coming back to him.

"Everything was more or less the same up until I was 10. My Pa was always busy and my Ma was still lonely. Nothing really changed except my Ma started losing a lot of weight and she was tired all the time. I remember she would cook a table full of dishes and only eat three bites. I didn't know what was wrong and I was worried because she was like that a lot. So I called my Pa to hurry home because something was wrong with Ma."

"Did he come?" Arthit asks anxiously.

"He did. He came back the very next day taking the first available flight."

"And then what?"

"It was like a fucking miracle. Ma was all smiles once she saw Pa come home. She ate fine and felt fine."

Arthit frowns. "Oh, did he think you were lying?"

"Obviously. He gave me a lecture about how wrong it was for me to make him worry like that and I shouldn't exaggerate or make up stories."

"Did he punish you?"

"No. He left the very next day. And soon Ma's condition got worse. So she eventually went to see a doctor. Turns out she had cancer, ovarian cancer to be specific."

Arthit gasps, "Oh my God."

Kong puts out his cigarette with one of Arthit's strawberry stumps.

"At first, she tried to keep it from me. I only noticed she had a lot of medicine to take. She told me they would help her gain her appetite back. But I didn't see her eat more even with all that medicine, so even the 10-year-old me knew something was wrong. So one night I copied down the names of her medicines when she was taking a bath and I looked them up on the internet and found out the truth."

Arthit starts to feel his eyes tear up so he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand hearing Kong's voice tremble. He could imagine the shock and devastation of a 10-year-old Kong. "What did you do?"

"I immediately called Pa of course. And do you know what he said to me?" Kong rumbles in a near growl that has the kid shriek back a little.

"What?" Arthit asks even though he doesn't think he will like what Kong's about to say.

"He said he already knew about it. He knew! And there's nothing we can do about it. He said Ma just needs to follow the doctor's orders and take her medicine. Can you believe it? He said he fucking knew! He hadn't been home for almost two months when I called."

"How could he? I can't believe it."

"Well, believe it! That's exactly what happened. And then he told me that I needed to be a good boy. I must keep my grades up so Ma can focus on getting better and not worry about me. He didn't even mention when he was coming home." Kong wipes away an angry tear. He can still remember that call like it was just yesterday and how hard he threw his phone on the floor that made it shattered into pieces.

Arthit sniffs and lays a calming hand on top of Kong's chest, "and then what happened?"

"My Ma spent the next five years in and out of the hospital fighting an uphill battle. Every time when it seemed to be getting better it only came back with a vengeance later. I began to be afraid of the doctor saying there's 'good news' because they always turned 'bad news' at the end."

"What about your Pa? He really didn't do anything?"

"He came back on days when Ma was doing better. He stayed home a little more but the moment it got tough, he always had to leave."

"What about you?" Arthit stares at the other wistfully knowing that the other is holding back tears even in this darkness.

"I had spent those five years with my Ma in and out of the hospital. I never wanted her to feel alone, so I spent every moment I wasn't at school with her, no matter if it was at home or the hospital."

"What about Miss Sue? I remember she left for the city a few times."

"Yeah, Aunt Sue came to visit three times. The first visit was when Ma was admitted to the hospital for the first time, but Aunt Sue couldn't stay long because she had to come back to take care of grandma who was also very sick at the time. And later when grandma passed away, my Ma couldn't even make it to the funeral because she was in the hospital. On the second visit, Aunt Sue also couldn't stay long because something happened to the farm.

But she got a cellphone and called my Ma a lot and that made her happy and feel less lonely. I was grateful for that. On her third visit, it was also her last visit. Ma was in critical condition, it had spread all over her body and into her lungs, she was in a lot of pain and she was trying to say goodbye to Aunt Sue over the phone but Aunt Sue told her she needed to hold on and wait for her. Ma fought really hard to stay for Aunt Sue." Kong's voice cracks and Arthit reaches for his hand.

"I remember Aunt Sue came the very next day and she had frantically tried to find Pa. But Pa was overseas and there were no flights coming back right away."

"Did he make it at the end?"

"No, he didn't! He was too late, like always. But he should have been there way before it even ended. He had no business marrying my Ma if he didn't want to be there for her when she needed him."

"I'm sorry, Kong." Arthit wraps an arm around the other and lays on his chest. No words can express how much sorrow he felt for the other.

Kong closes his eyes, letting silent tears fall to the sides of his face. He can't believe he's crying but he can't seem to stop. So instead he wraps an arm around Arthit, allowing himself to find the comfort he didn't know he needed.

~~~~~~
AN: Sweets, this chapter got way too long and I had to split it. The next chapter will be a continuation of this scene. Arthit will learn even more about Kong. 😢

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

*This is a song I feel that fits Kong's mother, and I couldn't help but want to share it even when this story has long ended. Loving someone so much is scary but is it better than to never loved at all? How much is too much?

Curtsy,
Lana ❤️