"Maybe forever was a word meant just for memories, not people."

People with whom you once imagined and promised forever no longer exist in your life. just in your memories. and those memories are the most heartbreaking thing in your life. for some, memories are a boon. but for some, they are a curse. 

I am one of them. I believe memories are a curse. they are there to make you wiser, but more careful and sometimes even more disturbed. sometimes, memories are the reason you fall asleep with a huge smile on your face. but the other times, memories are the ones that make you whimper and sob through the night hoping the pain will go away and that no one noticed these tears.

you have every right to be hung up on those memories. on those moments. on those feelings. on those heartbeats. but they have an expiry date too. I decided the expiry date of my feelings is today. 10 years is a long enough time for them to expire. and if they don't, you can't keep them with you. not when they can't be used. you have to throw them away.

thus, I decided to go on a date today. my first date after 10 years. Park Bogum. He is a mutual friend of mine and seems like a good person. he asked me out on a date yesterday. I first wanted to say no. After all, I never went on any dates with anyone. no one. no one except him.

but he is not in my life anymore. has not been for 10 years. I should move on. at least try to. he must have moved on too. so I agreed after a lot of thinking. it is 5 pm right now. he is going to pick me up from my house at 7. I finish all my work and switch off my laptop. I leave the office and walk out of the building. all the employees bow to me.

I am the CEO of Kim Consolidated after all. I sit in my car and drive it to my house. I reach my gate and the door is opened by a guard. I park my car and as I am about to go in, I spot yoongi in his garden. Min yoongi has been my neighbour for 7 years. he is a good friend of mine. he is a music producer and also makes songs. 

He waves at me as he notices me. I go to the fence and wave back at him.

" so, taehyung.... what's new?"

" I am going on a date today" he looks at me with his mouth hanging open.

" what the fuck. in the 7 years I have known you, this is the first time I have seen you go on a date. what happened suddenly?" I laugh at his reaction and shrug my shoulders.

" what about you, yoongi? " I ask curiously.

"Nothing much. Do you remember I told you about my best friend? the one that lives in busan?" 

I think momentarily and reply, "The one you visit once a month? yeah. what about him?"

" he's finally agreed to come to Seoul. he is going to stay with me. I finally convinced him to come and stay here." I smiled and congratulated him for the accomplishment. then, after saying bye to each other, I go into my house and my room.

so, I am going to have another neighbour it seems. Yoongi has told me about his friend a few times. he lives in Busan and is not in a very good condition. he is not poor or anything. he is very well off. I don't know exactly why but yoongi is worried about him and so visits him regularly. 

I shake off the thoughts about this friend and go to my closet. I have no idea what to wear on a date. I decided to wear something simple after a lot of thinking. I wear a white T-shirt with a black coat on it, paired with blue jeans and white sneakers. Adding a small silver earring to finish the look, I see myself in the mirror.

this feels okay enough for a date, doesn't it?? walking out of my room, I sit on my couch in the living room waiting for bogum. I am nervous. what if the date doesn't go well? will I even enjoy the date and not think about HIM?

my hand travels to the necklace I am wearing and I hold it tightly while biting my lips, anxiously. the necklace is a simple silver chain with a ring through it. it is a simple yet elegant silver ring studded with a single small diamond. the diamond is so small that you might almost miss it but it holds great importance to me. this ring was gifted to me by him...

I am still carrying it after 10 years, not once removing it... doesn't seem like something a sane person would do, right? I am not sane anyway. the bell rings, snapping me out of my thoughts and what-ifs. I get up and open the door to see bogum standing at the door with a huge smile on his. 

I smile back at him and we both sit in his car, He opens the door for me like a gentleman. he is a perfect gentleman. everything I deserve. but will I be able to give him a chance? 

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- yours Amora