Our lives were coming to an end.

Or rather, that's just how it felt as the end of high school approached.

I couldnt care less about my classes, the people who I saw everyday that effortlessly avoided my existence.

I couldnt care less about the campus, untidy and unkempt in most places, with no real place to escape the sneers and dissapointment.

But I didnt want the end of a bad thing to take the best thing I'd ever had away from me.

This.

This boy who had sat in this spot beside me for years.

Whose dark hair was starting to grow back at the roots. It was subtle, and hardly noticeable, but it was the small return to early sights that brought me comfort.

We were back in that field, that strawberry field, after what felt like years.

We'd long stopped frequenting the grounds as we got busier and busier over the years, and our sacred place began to die.

But even so, the air still smelled sweet and I could still hear the faded laughter of our past. The grass still tickled out interlocked hands.

We sat together, close, in the darkness, not speaking a word.

I think we both shared the fear that neither of us wanted to talk about: that after tomorrow, we'd lose what we'd tentatively built for so long.

And, in that sense, our lives were coming to an end.

We'd known each other so long, that at this point our lives were fused with the other's.

Two friends that had not a memory without each other.

But now, we weren't just two friends. We were too far gone to be friends anymore, and it was too late to return to something so simple. We'd done too much, said too much, but never the right words, somehow.

We'd grown apart because of how close we'd been.

I should have been happy.

Happy that our first kiss hadn't been our last, that my love had been only fueled by his intimacy over the years.

But I wasnt, because if my wishes coming true meant that I might have to lose everything, then I could be happy being nothing to him.

Nothing, but a friend.

My hand unintentionally squeezed his now, and his didn't hesitate to hold mine a little harder.

The moon was out tonight, full and golden, burning everything exposed with its glow. It took everything in me to not wonder how Clay looked under its cold shine.

"Come on, let's go back to your place"

I was being pulled to my feet, returning the grin that was in those happy green eyes in front of me.

We ran down the hill to his car, still beat up with its loud engine.

We laughed and sang too loud to the radio, time slipping over the hours as we drove everywhere.

Eventually, we arrived at his house, blanketed in a glowing silence. He opened my door and helped me out, pressing an embarrassed kiss to my cheek, before bounding ahead and leading me to his door.

My hand was locked tight in his.

We fell into the same footsteps of our ten, eleven, and every other self we had embodied.

Giggles, loud and quiet were unafraid to bounce across the walls as they had done for years. Practiced footsteps ran up the steps without landing on the creaky boards, and no joke needed to be spoken for loud laughs to need to be stifled.

Closed door, large room that had filled my vision too many times. Coordinated footsteps navigated the way to the roof, slipping and sliding over shingles that were trusted and sturdy.

And then we sat, close, in the darkness, without a word needing to be said.

My smile was gone now, even if I felt happy.

Because as much as we were starting to grow close again, our lives were coming to an end, and worlds would collide when the sun set tomorrow. And then everything would be changed.

My eyes were beginning to slip closed, and my body instinctively moved my head to rest on Clay's shoulder. 

He wouldnt mind, I knew. I'd just say it was a last-time thing tomorrow. 

I looked up at the sky again, to where the moon was temporarily obscured by a few wispy clouds, undoubtedly jealous of its magnificence. 

The stars I'd looked at as a child were gone now, taken away by pollution and the weight of responsibility, the need to do more and ruin everything in the process.

I looked at Clay, studying him, wishing I could hear what he was thinking.

"Goodnight." It was just a whisper, a word that had been said by everyone in the world. But it was different here, when he was saying it just for me, in the world we had created. 

A large hand was lifted to my back, and a tender touch pressed into it, repeating circles to lull me into a sleep.

Eyes closed now, dreams awaiting, my mind waited for one last thing.

It was only after a few minutes, that I was content, a soft kiss being pressed to my forehead, and a gentle smile alighting my features, one. Last. Time.

And our lives were over.