"Rosa Diaz, where are you?" Her voice was strong and demanding. Almost like that was a threat more than a question:

"You can hide from me all you want but when i find you, you'll regret the day you were fucking born."

Rosa stayed put. She was scared, petrified even. She didn't mean to stay out past her given curfew, but she lost track of the time. The last thing she wanted was to upset Jocelyn again, make her worry even more. But here they were. Rosa had yet again disappointed her girlfriend and she was now going to suffer for it. She deserved it. She deserved to be used as Jo's personal punching bag until she was bruised and broken. Rosa Diaz was a useless, unlovable failure who deserved to be punished for that.

"Rosa, baby, come here please. I just want to talk. Make sure you're okay."

She cared about Rosa even when she Rosa repeatedly let her down. Jocelyn loved Rosa and was the only person who ever would. Who else would want someone so depressing and disrespectful in their life? Rosa was lucky to have Jocelyn. Rosa loves Jocelyn. Jocelyn loves Rosa. Jocelyn loves Rosa. Jocelyn loves me. Jocelyn.

Rosa stood up from the small space between the bedside table and the wall. She took a deep breath and followed her girlfriend's voice. Jocelyn loves me. She repeated it in her head to remind herself of it. Opening the door, Rosa was met with Jocelyn's furious glare. She loves me.

"How could you do this to me? Leave me waiting up. Not answering your phone! I thought you were hurt!" She loves me.

"Jo, I'm sorry. I-" Rosa was interrupted.

"I don't want to hear it!" Jocelyn snapped. "You should be ashamed of yourself, Diaz." Rosa hung her head:

"Look at me when I'm speaking to you!" Jocelyn yelled and punctuated her sentence with a powerful slap.

Rosa sat up in a cold sweat. She looked around frantically, reminding herself it was a dream. It wasn't real, she was okay. She sighed and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Rosa hated the nightmares. They just reminded her of why she was so incapable of love. They just reminded her of how the woman lightly snoring behind her would soon walk away and not look back. She'd had the best night in a long time with Gina, but even so, she knew she couldn't drag Gina down with her. She knew she had to tell her that she didn't want to see her again.

For the first time since she fell for Jocelyn, Rosa was starting to see past the awkward dating stage. She desperately wanted this to be it. For Gina to be the one she could finally move on with. But she'd just let her down too. She would accidently stay out too late and upset Gina or Gina would get down on one knee and Rosa would have to disappoint her. She so badly wanted to hear Gina call her her girlfriend, say she was hers, but it just wasn't realistic for Rosa to date anyone. She was a sinking, burning ship that drowned everyone in her decent.

Wiping her tears, Rosa got up and padded her way through her apartment. She leaned against the kitchen counter as she pulled a draw open. It took her a minute, but after some routing, Rosa found her emergency cigarette stash. She slid a lighter off the counter into her palm and made a beeline for the back door. Rosa was fortunate that her apartment came with a balcony. As rough as Brooklyn could be at times, the view in the middle of the night from Rosa's sixth floor apartment was nothing short of breath-taking.

Carefully lighting the cigarette, Rosa rested against the bars separating her from the considerable drop she would endure in their absence. She hated smoking but sometimes she just needs some relief. She took a long drag and felt her whole body relax as she inhaled. Sighing, she looked out over the city.

"Rosa?" As quickly as she'd relaxed, Rosa felt herself seize up. She slowly turned her head to see Gina stood there, drowning in Rosa's own shirt. Despite the chilling air, the smaller woman stepped outside and made her way over to Rosa. "Are you okay?" She placed a hand on the small of the latina's back.

"Not really," Rosa didn't lie. She didn't know why she just told the truth but for some reason it just slipped out.

"What's wrong? You can tell me to fuck off back to bed and I'll go but I'll listen if there's anything you need to get off your chest." fuck. Why was she so nice?

But still, yet again, Rosa told the truth. "I don't think we should see each other anymore."