NO ONE'S POV:

Scoops Ahoy

(Robin is listening to Russian as Erica rings a bell, trying to get her attention.)

Erica: Excuse me? Ahoy!

Robin: [sighs]

(She turns around & takes off her headphones.)

Erica: I'd like to try the peanut butter chocolate swirl, please.

Robin: No. No more samples today.

Erica: Why not?

Robin: Because you're abusing our company policy.

Erica: Where's the sailor man?

Robin: Sorry, he can't help you. He's busy.

Erica: Busy with what?

Robin: Spycraft.

(Cut to Steve, Dustin, & Y/N near the center of the mall & hiding behind a plant as Steve looks through some binoculars.)

Dustin: You see anything?

Steve: Uh, I guess I don't totally know what I'm looking for.

Dustin: (Y/N)?

(Y/N): All I'm seeing are people walking around the mall.

Dustin: Evil Russians.

Steve: Yeah, exactly. We don't know what an evil Russian looks like.

Dustin: Tall, blonde, not smiling.

(Y/N): So a typical movie villain?

Steve: Mm-hmm?

Dustin: Also look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing.

Steve: Right, okay, duffel bags.

(Y/N): Camo anything? Like pants?

Dustin: [sighs] Yes, camo anything.

(Steve looks at something.)

Steve: Oh, you've got to be kidding me?

Dustin: What?

(Y/N): You got something?

Steve: Anna Jacobi's talking with that meathead Mark Lewinsky.

Dustin: Dude, if you're not gonna focus, just give the binoculars to myself or (Y/N).

Steve: Aw, Jesus Christ, whatever happened to standards? I mean, Lewinsky never even came off the bench.

(Y/N): Like I told you, Steve, "bitch."

Dustin: Dude, you are the worst spy in history, you know that?

Steve: Stop, hey. Stop.

(He pulls on the binoculars.)

Dustin: Give me those.

(He takes the binoculars.)

Dustin: Besides, I don't get why you're looking at girls. You have the perfect one right in front of you.

Steve: Seriously, if you say Robin again--

Dustin: Robin.

Steve: No, don't. No.

Dustin: Robin, Robin, Robin.

Steve: Stop, no, no, no.

Dustin: Robin. Robin.

(Y/N): [softly] Looks like I'm the only one taking this seriously.

Dustin: Robin.

Steve: No.

Dustin: Robin.

Steve: No! No, man, she's not my type. She's not even...in the ballpark of what my type is, all right?

Dustin: What's your type again? Not awesome?

(Y/N): [chuckles]

Steve: Thank you.

Dustin: Hm.

Steve: For your information, she's still in school. And she's weird. She's a weirdo. And she's hyper.

(Y/N): Everyone's weird in their own way.

Steve: Yes, but still. I don't like that she's hyper. And she did drama. That's a bad look.

(Y/N): I think that's awesome.

Steve: And she's in band? No.

Dustin: Now that you're out of high school, which means you're technically an adult, don't you think it's time you move on from primitive constructs such as popularity? Like (Y/N).

(Y/N): Oh, I don't think I'm the best example for that because I've never really cared about popularity.

Dustin: Even better.

Steve: Oh, primitive constructs? That some stupid shit you learned at Camp...Know...Nothing?

Dustin: Camp Know Where, actually. And no, it's shit I learned from life.

Steve: Hm.

Dustin: Instead of dating somebody you think's gonna make you cooler, why not date somebody you actually enjoy being around? Like me and Suzie.

Steve: Oh, Suzie. Yeah, you mean, "hotter than Phoebe Cates."

(Y/N): Still a high bar.

Steve: It's up there. That Suzie. And, uh, let's think about how exactly did you score that beautiful girlfriend? Oh, yeah. With my advice. Because that's how this works, Henderson. I give you the free advice, you follow through. Not the other way around, all right, pea-brain? If she is anyone's type it's...

(He looks at Y/N.)

Steve: Oh, my God.

(Y/N): What is it? Why are you looking at me?

Steve: You like Robin!

(Y/N): What?! [nervous laughter] No...

Dustin: I was about to ask you about her, (Y/N). I approve.

(Y/N): Like I need your approval...wait--

Steve: That explains why you're at Scoops Ahoy so much. Of course it wasn't because of me. You were coming over to see the girl you like.

(Y/N): [sighs] Yes, I like her.

Steve: [chuckles] You're just like...[snaps finger] Mark Ratner from Fast Times!

(Y/N): I'm surprised you were able to remember a specific character's name.

Steve: Except instead of staring across at her from the theater, you're just coming over to where she works and chat up your best friend as an excuse.

(Y/N): That's...that's exactly what I was doing. Whoa. Unless you had your eyes on her first, Steve? I'll back off.

Steve: What? No! I don't like her.

(Y/N): Okay. Cool.

Steve: [chuckles] You're finally interested in a girl. I never thought I'd see the day.

Dustin: You guys can double date with me and Suzie.

(Y/N): You're getting ahead of yourself there, Dustin. [deep breath] I've been thinking about this for a while so I might as well tell you two. I'm gonna ask her out on a date. Movies then Burger King then...we'll see what happens.

Dustin: Aw.

Steve: Love everything you just said except for Burger King. What is up with your obsession with Burger King?

(Y/N): I don't see anything wrong with taking her to the best fast food place in the U.S.

Steve: You've only been in Hawkins.

(Dustin spots a man with long blonde hair, shades, & carrying a duffel bag.)

Dustin: Target acquired.

Steve: Where?

Dustin: Ten o'clock. Sam Goody's.

(Y/N): All right, I see him.

Steve: Give me that.

(He looks through the binoculars to see the man.)

Steve: Shit. Duffel bag.

(Y/N), Dustin, & Steve: Evil Russian.

(They follow the man into a Jazzercise studio where he's the instructor. Cut to them walking back to Scoops Ahoy.)

Steve: Yo, Robin, you're not gonna believe who Dustin thought was a Russian.

Dustin: You did too.

Steve: No, I did not.

Dustin: So did, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Nah, I'm pretty sure it was just you.

(Robin runs past them into the middle of the mall where she looks at Imperial Panda, Kaufman Shoes, & the clock that she figures out the time the code means is 9:45.)

Steve: Robin. What are you doing?

Robin: I cracked it.

(Y/N): Cracked what?

Robin: I cracked the code.

(Cut to the quartet outside in the rain, on a roof, & looking for a delivery.)

Robin: Look for Imperial Panda and Kaufman Shoes.

(Y/N): *blows water out of his mouth*

(Dustin sees some Imperial Panda boxes through the binoculars.)

Dustin: They're with that whistling guy, ten o'clock.

Steve: What do you think's in there?

Dustin: Guns, bombs?

Robin: Chemical weapons?

(Y/N): Some illegal shit.

Dustin: Whatever it is, they're armed to the teeth.

Steve: Great. That's great.

(One of the guards opens a room with a keycard.)

Robin: Hey, what's in there?

Dustin: It's just more boxes.

(Steve & Dustin fight over the binoculars & end up dropping them to the ground, alerting the guards. They duck behind some cover where Y/N sees...)

(Robin & Steve realize that they're holding hands & quickly let go. Cut to them walking down the back hallway.)

Robin: Well, I think we found your Russians.

(Y/N): Hey, Steve?

Steve: Yeah?

(Y/N): Mind if we hang back for a bit? I want to talk to you about something.

Steve: Sure? You two go on ahead, we'll catch up.

(Robin & Dustin walk on & leave them.)

Steve: All right, man. What's up?

(Y/N): So, I told you that I have feelings for Robin.

Steve: You did.

(Y/N): And I saw you two holding hands up there--

Steve: Okay, I see where this is going. We already had this talk, I don't like her. We were just scared up there, that's all.

(Y/N): No. It wasn't just that.

Steve: [groans] Did you smell her? To see if she's giving off those pheromones.

(Y/N): No but it'd be pointless now.

Steve: Why?

(Y/N): Because of the rain and we're wet. It throws off my nose.

(He places a hand on Steve's shoulder.)

(Y/N): It's okay, Steve. Really. It...wouldn't have worked between me and her anyway. She probably would've turned me down.

(He turns around & starts walking down the hallway.)

Steve: (Y/N)? [yells] (Y/N)!