20th Century teacher: Today, we will be learning about the gilded age. Anyone know what guild is?

     Tommy: It's like good, but not really.

     Teacher: Okay, well in this time, there were thoughts about whether the U.S. was really as good as it was perceived to be-

     Tommy: *cutting her off* So you know when you get a long john and you're like yeah this is a normal long john and then you bite into it and your like ew that's nasty! What is this stuff?

     Teacher: *looking quite dazed by his comment* Tommy, just for you we will make the Gilded Age the Filled Donut Age.

     Dante: Dang, he's making history by the minute!