CHAPTER NINETEEN.
It's exhausting watching you
even breathe.

JUNIPER.

I barely slept a wink that entire night. The wind, nor rain didn't ease up, meaning we couldn't leave the plane until it did. And it raged on through the entire night, only beginning to ease when the sun came up.

              My eyes felt heavy, like they could slip shut at any point. But I couldn't allow myself to rest. If I did, it would feel like I was giving up on my sister—and I couldn't do that. I couldn't sleep not knowing if she was okay.

Most of us had been awake through the night, the storm being too loud for us to get any sleep. So, by the time the sun came up, everyone slowly began getting out of the plane, ready to see the damage of the camp. When I stepped off the plane, hot sunlight immediately hit me, making me blink back as I placed my feet firmly on the wet ground beneath me.

                   The camp was in a complete state of disarray. Whatever we hadn't had enough time to collect was strewn across the dirt, toppled over and blown away by the high winds. Our campfire was wet and the limber we'd had sitting beside it was soaked to the bone too, meaning we would have to wait until it dried out before we could use it.

                  "Well, shit," Imani breathed out from beside me. "There goes the campfire." She grumbled, walking to examine the wet firewood with a frown on her face, hands on her hips as she crouched down. Even Imani knew we needed the firewood to be dry before it could be lit and it looked like Ivy's teachings were paying off.

                     "Alright, everyone," I spoke up, marching forward. Heads turned to me, looking in confusion that I of all people were addressing them—like I was fucking Lennon or something. "We have to head out. We can't waste any daylight. We have to find Lennon—"

                   "And Ivy." Kitty snapped over me, earning a flat stare on my behalf.

                  "If you let me finish my sentence I was just about to say that," I said, annoyance in my tone. Kitty was really testing my patience. I inhaled sharply. "But like I said, get your shit together. I'm not leaving them out there any longer thinking we've abandoned them—we have to find them." I insisted, my voice holding some kind of authoritative tone I wasn't even aware I had. Maybe Lennon was rubbing off on me.

                    "We'll find them." Ethan assured me, stepping in line with me. I titled my head, looking up at him before giving a firm nod.

                  Ethan hadn't left my side the entire night, not even when he was shaking from the cold. I had put my blanket over him when he had fallen asleep, wrapping it over his shoulders before returning to my previous stage of staring at nothingness with my arms wrapped around my body. I had tried to blame Ethan when we had lost Lennon and Ivy, but with the more time that passed, I had come to understand why he had done it. And I was grateful to have him by my side when I was feeling at my lowest—even if we didn't exchange any words.

                     We all packed our stuff, some of us complaining whilst others went about it silently. I was taking no prisoners. Everyone was coming with me, even those with injuries. I wasn't Lennon, I didn't give a shit if they were hurting—they were going to help me find her. And Ivy too.

"Umm," I heard Hattie begin to say from beside me as she spun on the spot. "Guys, where's Coach?" She spoke up, a worried look on her face as she looked at the clearing around us.

My lips parted. Somehow, we had all been so caught up in Lennon, Ivy and the storm that we had completely forgotten about Coach Stratford. Not that it was hard. I often forgot that he was with us since he was always quietly brooding—he was easily forgettable. But even his own team hadn't noticed his disappearance until the following morning. Did that make all of us terrible people?

Evie put her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide in horror, "How did we forget about him?" She looked to her sister, her eyes beginning to glaze over. It was clear that Evie was the type to care about everyone—even her Coach with a shitty attitude problem. But part of me wondered if he had always been like that, or if that was a new personality trait that came with losing the woman he had claimed to love.

I found myself glancing across at Ethan who was standing with his head low, hands bunched into fists. It was obvious he hadn't forgiven Coach Stratford for having an affair with his mother—and I couldn't blame him. It was a rough thing to come to terms with, even more so in our unique situation. His mother was no longer here to blame and that meant he could shove all of his blame onto Coach Stratford.

"Shit," Nora hissed through her teeth, tangling her hands through her wiry hair. She turned, looking at the faces of her teammates. "We have to find him, right?" She asked them, her blue eyes searching their faces.

I began shaking my head, "No, that's not the plan—"

"They're right," The voice that spoke in agreement with the Devils surprised me, because it was Ethan. I turned to face him to see that he was still looking at the ground, his shoulders rigid. "I don't like the bastard. But he's a human-being. If he's lost or hurt, we can't just leave him out there." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Perhaps I was too selfish, because if I were in Ethan's shoes, I would have let Coach Stratford fend for himself out there. And that was exactly why I wasn't leadership material.

Kitty, unable to help herself, let out a scoff, "Says the guy who pummelled his face." She commented, though I was sure she had said it quietly enough that it was supposed to be a backhanded comment towards her sister. But we had all heard it; including Ethan.

Before any of us could say anything, Hattie bet us to it, "Shut the fuck up, Kitty." She snapped, turning her gaze towards the girl with sharp eyes, her blue gaze piercing. My lips parted. I didn't know Hattie had that in her. But just when I thought Kitty would fly off the handle and go ape-shit on her own teammate, she let out a sigh and waved her hand dismissively.

"Whatever you say, Hattie." She said and I furrowed my brows. From what I had witnessed, Kitty didn't give a fuck who she was arguing with. She seemed loyal to her teammates, but she still didn't hold back when it came to them. But Hattie seemed to be a whole other story, somehow, she managed to calm the girl even when her words were harsh.

Deciding that wasn't what was important, I clapped my hands together, "Alright, we'll search for the three of them. But we're sticking together, none of that splitting up bullshit, alright?" I looked amongst them, earning multiple nods.

"Okay, let's fucking go."

LENNON.

"Ivy, I'm telling you—we've been this way already." I was calling after the brunette, trudging after her through the thick mud caused by the storm. It had been like that for a while. Me endlessly following Ivy who insisted she knew where she was going, even though it was obvious she didn't, whilst she stormed ahead of me as if getting close enough would give her some kind of disease.

"No, we haven't. You only think that cause you haven't paid attention to your surroundings." Ivy quipped back, marching ahead of me, her sneakers sliding in and out of the mud beneath her. From behind, I could see the dirt stuck to the back of her legs and her back and imagined I was exactly the same. From what I could see, we were both covered head-to-toe in the substance.

"I have been paying attention!" I exclaimed defensively, momentarily taking a look around. I stopped in my tracks. "Look! I know we've been here because I remember that tree—"

Ivy stopped, spinning on her heels to face me with exasperation, "You do not remember that fucking tree." She argued.

"I do!" I insisted. I pointed at it. "Look at the bark. I distinctly remember it because it looks like Shrek's face—look, on the bark, can you see it?" Ivy stared at me as though I was borderline delusional—or maybe just straight up delusional. And maybe I was. It had been hours since we had woke and began walking around in the scorching heat and I was dying for a drink of water. Maybe I was severely dehydrated and hallucinating.

"Lennon, I'm telling you—we haven't been this way." She insisted, refusing to ever be wrong, which only got on my nerves.

I narrowed my gaze, "Can you ever, like, actually admit when you're wrong? Or does that not come with your default settings?"

"Nope. Cause I'm never wrong." Ivy retorted with a bitter smile.

"Sure," I drawled out, beginning to stroll around her as she turned her head to follow my movements. "Just like when you said the Devils were going to beat us—"

"We were going to beat you before that storm rolled in." Ivy spoke over me, her hands clenched by her sides.

I turned, giving her a closed smile, "Sure," I agreed once again in my previously condescending tone. "In my opinion, that storm saved y'all from getting your asses bet." I said with a careless shrug.

Ivy let out a hollow laugh, "That storm didn't save us from shit. I'm stuck out here with you—alone. Which is literally my worst fucking nightmare, having to be alone with Miss Malibu fucking Barbie herself." She said with a scoff, moving to brush by me, making sure to barge her shoulder into mine.

I tilted my head, following after her, "Aww, you must think I'm really pretty." I teased.

Ivy stopped, "Everyone thinks you're fucking pretty, Lennon. It's not some well-kept secret," She grumbled, turning to stomp ahead of me as I struggled to keep up. "It's the personality that's the issue." She added, making me screw up my face. I would much rather she had just called me ugly than attack my personality—because what the hell? I was a ray of fucking sunshine in contrast to her gloomy so-called-excuse for a personality.

"The hell's wrong with my personality?" I demanded, hurrying up to step in line with her. Which only seemed to annoy her more.

"Let me see," She drawled out, pretending to mull it over. "You're fake. Narcissistic. A massive people-pleaser—like honestly, Princess, it's exhausting watching you even breathe," I blinked back. I'd heard that before—but from June. 'It must be so exhausting being you' she had said to me. Ivy continued on. "Everything you do has some kind of ulterior motive, you don't just do anything helpful unless it works in your favour—"

"Wow," I cut her off, throwing my head back with a laugh. "You have really painted me out to be the villain in that warped mind of yours." I said, shaking my head in disbelief. I had known Ivy didn't like me, but was that truly what she thought of me? Because I couldn't find it any less true.

                   Ivy threw her hands up, "You just can't stand to not be the one in control. That's the only reason why you're doing all of this, trying to be the leader—"

                   "I'm not trying to be anything," I spoke over her, glaring sharply at her. "If you want to take over then that's fine by me." I snapped, settling my hands on my hips. I could feel the sunlight baring down onto me, making me agitated, along with my hunger and thirst.

                   Ivy laughed, "If I did that, you'd pop a fucking blood vessel." She quipped back at me.

                    "Try me," I tested, taking a few brave steps towards her. "How about once we're back, we take our roles as team Captains once again? You lead the Devils all you want. I'll be responsible for my own team." I bargained, looking her up and down.

                      "Sounds good to me." Ivy said, sticking her nose in the air before marching off ahead of me once again, leaving me shooting daggers at the back of her skinny neck.

                      We walked again—this time in a deafening silence. The only sounds I could hear were the birds in their nests, crickets chirping and droplets of water dripping from the leaves above us. I had kept myself in deep thought, just to keep my mind awake. My head was pounding, no doubt from the wound I had suffered—but I couldn't slow down. We had to find our way back to camp.

                      We were walking on flat ground, Ivy, as usual, many steps ahead of me when I felt a wave of nausea wash over me. It made me stumble slightly, losing my balance as I brought my hand to my head. My skin was sweating—and it was hot to the touch. My insides were churning, my head thumping, rattling against my skull so hard it felt like it could crack. The pain was blinding.

                    Realising I had fallen behind, Ivy had turned with a heavy sigh, "Hey, slow-poke, what's taking you so—" But she hadn't had the time to finish her complaint when I tumbled to the ground, my feet giving out from beneath me. "Shit." I heard Ivy hiss under her breath but I didn't hear her footsteps approach as I sat on my knees, gripping my head, as if it would help with the pain.

                 Ivy was in front of me, on her knees too. She was trying to talk to me but I couldn't hear anything she was saying—all I could hear was the ringing in my ears, like a hundred telephones had began ringing at once in my mind. It was deafening.

               My hand trailed to the back of my head, touching the spot where it ached the most and when I pulled back, I could see fresh crimson against my fingertips. The wound on the back of my head was bleeding again—and at an alarming rate.

                   Ivy was suddenly hauling me up, moving me towards a tree and I grabbed hold of it, trying to hold myself up. My blood smeared against the bark as I struggled to keep my eyes open—just as the sky began growing dark again, just as it had the day before.

                    I could hear Ivy more clearly again and she was asking me questions, crouching in front of me, holding me up by the shoulders, "Lennon, can you hear me?" She was asking, her eyes desperately searching mine as I tried to keep them open but all I could do was blink over-and-over again.

                     Ivy helped me sit down against the tree, putting my side against it as I dug my nails into the bark. I couldn't even feel the rough edges of the bark slipping under my fingernails, all I could feel was the pain in the back of my head, slowly moving all around my skull.

                    Ivy was whipping off the shirt she wore over her black sports-bra, bunching it up, "Lennon, lift your head." She demanded and I did as I was told, bringing my head away from the tree and allowing her to press the material to the back of my head, soaking up the blood I could feel dripping down the nape of my neck.

                  I stared straight ahead, my eyes suddenly picking up on something red a few feet away from us, tucked beneath bushes, "Ivy... do you see that?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper as I squinted my gaze, trying to get a better look, but everything was blurry.

                  "Don't talk right now." Ivy tried telling me but I shook my head, bringing my hand up to put it over hers that was clutching the bunched up shirt at the back of my head.

                  I grasped her fingers, pulling her hand away and using it to point in the direction I was locked on, "Can you see it?" I asked her again, praying I wasn't hallucinating—because if I was, then what I was seeing would have been a pretty shitty hallucination that would only give me false hope.

                   Ivy followed where I was using her hand to point, and then her body perked up. Within seconds, she was on her feet and rushing towards the First Aid Kit I had caught a glimpse off in the bushes. The closer she got to me, the more I realised it was real—somehow, we had managed to find one of the First Aid kits; and at a time we needed it most. It felt like the craziest coincidence of all time—maybe even more so than two generations of Pirates ending up in a plane crash.

                   Ivy crouched down in front of me, spilling open the contents. I was looking all around me as it got harder for me to see. For some reason, I had convinced myself that I was about to die. And if I was, I wanted to be able to see something beautiful—perhaps the trees above me, or the birds soaring above the jungle.

                  Ivy was suddenly grabbing at my face, turning me to look at her. I took her in, searching her face all over. Up close, I noticed that she had a small scar on her upper lip which was slightly jagged. It wasn't noticeable by any means, but for some reason, I was scanning her face like it was the most important thing in the world. Despite not wanting to admit it, Ivy was gorgeous, with tan skin, dark-brown eyes and high cheekbones. And looking at her made me feel not so bad in that moment.

                     "Lennon, I need you to stay awake," Ivy was saying to me, her hands caressing my face. "Please, just stay awake." I tried to nod as she tilted my head to the side, pushing my gaze away from the view of her face and towards the bark on the tree.

                   My brows furrowed together as my eyes landed on the blood I had smeared across the bark—only, that wasn't the thing that caught my attention the most. What did, was what I had smeared my blood over the top of. There seemed to be some kind of engraving on the tree, looking like it could have been created with some kind of sharp object like a knife. It looked like a full moon, with two crescent moons on each side—that was the best way I could think of describing it.

                 My heart dropped at the sight of it.

                 Not because it meant there had been people on the island once—but because I knew that symbol.

                 AUTHORS NOTE.

                another late update! but i hope the wait was worth it!!

                 — taylor xx