The dress was too confining. The air felt like liquid. She had been at the convent for only three weeks. The black dress absorbed the sun's heat as she sat on the bench. She felt unreasonably hot. Her stomach churned unpleasantly.

The garden was silent but she wasn't alone. She was almost never alone. Sister Abigail stood a few feet away glaring at her. She expected an answer. Elle didn't know what to say.

Elle was supposed to be in seclusion because of her father found her to be to wild and uncontrollable. He had sent her here in the hope that she would choose to marry the man he had picked for her.

"Rachel?" The nun said using the fake name Captain Talbot had came up with.

"No." Elle said honestly. "I will not marry him."

"Such willfulness is unbecoming in a woman of your age." The nun said coolly. "You seem to have no idea of the opportunity you have been given. Sir Talbot Alexander James is a very wealthy man. His family are titled. His mother is friends with the dutchess of Lichin. His father controls the vast majorities of land in Lil' Susi. Talbot Alexander James  will inherit the title on his 40th birthday." She gave Elle a considering look. "Do you have any idea how many would trade places with you?"

Elle rolled her eyes at the woman. She didn't have to fake her contempt. For a nun, the woman was a sob. She seemed to care more for money and titles then most of the people Elle had ever met.

Her stomach felt heavy. She wanted nothing more then to go inside. She didn't care that they all looked at her like she was a child. She wanted out of the heat. She wanted a cup of mint tea to settle down her stomach.

Elle had heard the story of Talbot Alexander James. He was a minor noble of some sort. He had a falling our with his family around ten years ago after the death of his elder brother. Rumor said that he seldom had contact with the family. Other rumors said he left to find his own fortune. Some said the family never had contact with him or that he died a year after his brother.

But there darker rumors as well. He had supposably killed his brother so he would inherit the title, he was banished from the family because he squandered thousands of pounds on women, drink, and other debauchery on a daily basis. The family refused to substantiate any rumors maintaining that he would inherit title as was custom.

Elle had no idea why Harv had used Talbot Alexander James as her supposed intended. She admitted that the similarity between the nobles name and the captain had struck her as amusing. The captain hadn't been amused. He had sat behind the desk glaring at Harv then Elle.

"You couldn't have used someone else?"

"Not really." Harv told them. "There is always some rumor circulating about him so no one knows what is true or simply rumor. It's not likely that he'll come forward to dispute the claim." He grinned. To Elle it looked like he enjoyed the look on Talbot's face. Talbot looked sea sick. Impossible but he still looked it. "His family have ignored every rumor made in the past two years. The priest at St. Sebastian knows who you are he wouldn't spread rumors but nuns, the gardener's, kitchen staff can't be counted on not to slip. We needed a cover."

"And if," he narrowed his eyes at Harv, "Talbot Alexander James hears rumors of his impending engagement and doesn't enjoy being the subject of more rumors?" His voice had held a threat.

Harv laughed. Elle looked at each of them. She sighed. "You should have just told him the truth." She mumbled. "But I'm sure the letter has arrived and there's nothing to be done about it now." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Both men now looked at her. "The Captain has a point Harv. I've heard rumors about the man. Not many of them are flattering. He may not like being the subject of more when the reality has absolutely nothing to do with him."

The comment caused Harv to bark another laugh. The captain pinched the bridge of his nose, squinted his eyes closed and groaned.

"Enough." He said. "It's too late. The letter has undoubtedly arrived. The nuns expect to meet Elizabeth, the unwilling intended to the estranged Talbot Alexander James." He scrubbed his fingers through his hair.

The meeting had continued as they instructed her on her fake background.

She was free to choose any reason she wished to as to why she was apposed to marrying him. So now she spoke up. She told another truth as she found it hard to lie to a nun, even one she didn't like.

"Why would I agree to marry a man I don't know? I've heard rumors.  Money, titles, and friendship with a duchess mean nothing to me. I want to love. I don't want to be a man's property or obligation." Her voice grew stronger with each word as conviction settled in her heart. "When he looked at me I want to see that he loves me. I want to be at his side because he wouldn't have anyone else. I want to feel like I do when I'm-," abruptly she stopped realising what she had almost confessed. Her heart pounded. No. She silently wailed.

She was in love with Captain Talbot. Her stomach twisted. She clutched it. He could never know. It would be to humiliating. The man could barely stand her. He found her repulsive. She groaned.

"Rachel?" The nuns voice sounded far away. Elle was to deep in her own disturbing thoughts to reply.

She loved him. Her reaction to his touch made so much since now. Had she always loved him? She thought back but she couldn't say for sure.  She remembered what she felt as he kissed her. Suddenly she was bombarded by the feel of him pushing her away. Her heart twisted. Tears spilled from her eyes.

This is so horrible. The pain too much. Had she always loved him? She couldn't remember if she had known. If so she hadn't realized what it really meant. Loving someone who didn't love you back.

She was vaguely aware of someone pulling her up from the bench. Blindly she follow them as their hands guided her over the crushed stone path. Her stomach jolted. The jolt caused her to stumble as she heaved up the lunch she had eaten hours ago. There was a cry of alarm. Something tugged her hair from her face.

A few moments later the air cooled. They had entered the building. Muttered voices swam just outside her consciousness. They had no form or meaning to her as her world spun. Unhindered tears streaked her face.

She would never be able to face him. She would never be able to see her friends, feel the ocean on her face as she sailed over the open sea. She would never again feel pride as he nodded his head and said she had done well. Pain was so much worse when it wasn't physical. There was no bandage that could fix this.