Dogs are great. Above is a picture of mine. (Sorry if it doesn't work. Wattpad can suck sometimes) His name is Zack. He is a purebred pug. He is five years old. I know, I know. You're totally jealous of me because I have the best dog on this whole planet.
I do wonder, however, what goes through his head. So I am going to make a list of things he is probably thinking.
"I am hungry"
"Is anyone going to give me any food?"
"YES THE HUMAN IS HOME SHE WILL FEED ME!"
"Oh no! There is a vicious beast inside of the television screen! I will save you by barking at it constantly!"
"There is another dog inside of the television screen. It is challenging my power. I must bark at it until it surrenders!"
"Let's play a fun game called leave the wet, soggy, slimy, bone where my humans will step on it. They will love that."
"Even better, let's go put it in their laps when they are watching TV. They will love that so much."
"LET ME SING YOU THE SONG OF MY PEOPLE AT 5:00 AM EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE SLEEPING"
"I am going to take all of the trash from the trash can, rip it to pieces, and hide it in random places all over the house. My humans will be so happy and proud."
"Oh good they are home. No they can find all of the trash presents I have hidden for them. They will most definitely love picking it all up."
"Let's play another fun game called crawl into the plant box and eat all of the vegetables!"
"Underwear is a fun thing to chew on. So are socks."
"Let's play the game where we start licking small girl humans legs when she is in the middle of Mario Kart. It will not throw her off at all."
"I know! I will leave all of my chew toys in the backyard and then drag them back in when they smell like butt!"
"I wonder what is hidden under the carpet/hardwood floor/bedsheets. I will dig a hole to find out!"
"One day I will catch the squirrels that run across the fence every morning. Until them I will just bark at them"
"When the human opens the door to leave the house, I should take that as an invitation to run out of the house and into the neighborhood. They will love chasing me. Especially if it is pitch black and pouring rain outside and small girl human is late to her chorus concert."
And that is an example of how stupid dog logic is.
-Sophie