For once

I just want the demons

To just

Shut

The

Fuck 

Up!

I'm sick and tired

Of all this bullshit 

I'm going through

I'm sick of feeling unwanted

Un-needed.

I'm tired of feeling like a fucking bother

To everyone I talk to

Like I'm the annoying friend

Who never shuts up.

Who won't leave anyone alone

Who shouldn't have ever been born

No one can prove me wrong

Though.

Everyone knows I'm a bother

That's what they tell me

Who else do I have to believe?

Everyone else just leaves as some point

Because I drive everyone away

To the point where I'm screaming for help

And they won't turn around and listen!

I've already lost a few close friends

Why not lose all of them

I'll be here for them

But they won't be here for me.

That's how it always goes

So

I turn to my demons

They feed my brain

And eat my body

From the inside out

Tearing it to shreds

Until there's nothing left.

If I'm lucky

They go

But no matter how much I pick myself back up

They always come back

And knock me back down

Tear me up

Leave their remains

So I slowly become one of them.

It's a daily process

That I hide behind a simple smile

Giggle

A simple 

I'm good

Just tired.

Everyone falls for it

Every 

Damn

Time

Because they think I'm better

But I'm not

I need someone to talk to

I'm ten fucking times worse than I was a month ago!

No one notices

No one cares to notice

I'm tired of it

I'm tired of feeling so fucking alone

I'm tired of feeling unwanted!

I'm tired of feeling at all

I want to go numb

That way

I can't feel the pain

Of the demons inside me

Of the things I'm being fed

Of the people leaving. 

Why can't I be numb?