Then

You should know better than to think life plays in your favour more than once. If you're lucky, you get the one chance. But if you're extremely fucking lucky to a point where it's almost like you're leeching a bit of luck from the people around you, you might get a second. And a third.

On the third, however, you are very likely to miss. So when you're gambling away everything you've got, make sure you're already well acquainted with the feeling of loss.

The mirrors reflect the python tattoo along her spine all around the room, we were surrounded by venom. The sound of her stilettos against the marble is unmistakable, a gun firing off and the bullets ricocheting off the walls until she comes to a pause in front of me.

The viper settles herself on my lap, wrapping her arms around me like she is fighting the good fight and protecting the innocent with her jewelled limbs when really, she has bitten the entire deck of cards. They play her game. We all play her game.

"Now is not the time." She whispers in my ear, her scarlet nails tapping my lips. She knows there is a fight brewing in the air and the words in my mind will catalyse it all if I let them out.

"He can't end this here." The air was static with my own anger, the storm spinning in my mind. It was thick enough to coat my skin.

She hesitates. The viper never hesitated. The stack of chips on the table clutter to the ground.

She takes another long look at me, then pushes back, placing her hand on my chest and laughing like I've said the most amusing thing she has ever heard. "Baby, it was over for him a long, long time ago. This is our game now."

__________

Now

The sun was out and through the slight parting in the curtain I could tell it was too bright for the atmosphere inside the house, or in this room at least. Sierra's house was never gloomy; not when the sun's gone, not on the days the air suffocates us, and especially not when the world is falling apart outside. She made sure of that. It was a power only the people who have been through too much seemed to have.

I couldn't ever do that, though. Everything was always falling apart and gloomy around me. I didn't have to make an effort either, I just simply needed to stand there.

Calums warm breath fans my neck while he sleeps on top of me, his weight pressing me into the soft mattress in all the right places. My leg has gone completely numb and I wasn't sure if it was mine or his at this point. It felt like an endless day, but if we could remain like this for the rest of our lives, in this quiet, I would give a few limbs in exchange.

I attempt to quiet my mind for the millionth time, but it tugs in every other direction away from silence. I was never one to know what peace was like from within. I was running in circles around what Calum had said, the problem situated right in the middle of my mind and hard to look past.

A gambling problem. A freaking gambling problem? Calum has always struggled with addiction. He always claimed it was a result of growing up with his mother, in a world where you try something once and before you know it, it's become your vice. First, it was the cigarettes, then the other things before me that he refused to speak to me about. But gambling wasn't something I had even remotely thought of.

Why would gamblers be setting up fireworks in my apartment if he had already paid back their money? Why did they want revenge so badly? But then again, what did I know? I had initially assumed flowers grew out of the assholes of even the worst people I've encountered in my life. My judgement of character was awry.

Calum stirs, and I register that my body has gone tense with the direction of my thoughts. I relax my muscles, cradling his head under my jaw. I want him to stay this way, to sleep a bit longer and stay in a place where nothing bad could reach him.

I wanted this to last for-

"Rise and shine best friend! It's noon, wake up!" Sierra bursts into the bedroom and Calum leaps up so fast he elbows me in the stomach.

"Sierra!" I yell, clutching at my stomach. Her eyes widen before she quickly turns and backs out the door again.

"I'm sorry! I thought you were alone. Sorry! Very sorry!"

Calum sags back down onto the bed, heaving a breath. "I think I'm having a fucking heart attack."

I can hear Sierra muttering outside the door so I shake off the covers and get out of bed, moving towards the door and swinging it open. "We were awake but fell asleep again. We'll be down in a few." I tell her.

She smiles nervously at me, looking tiny in the darkness of the corridor, a purple silk robe tied around her petite frame. "I really am sorry. You guys didn't come down for breakfast so I thought I'd order a big lunch and wake you up."

I reach forward and pull her into a hug. "Thank you. I'm starving."

"Good, now put some clothes on and come eat." Sierra pats my hair and for the first time that morning I realize that I've only got my panties on.

"They are great boobs. Don't you think?"

"Yeah, but if you stay out here any longer like that you're gonna flash someone else. We've got a full house." Sierra turns to walk down the stairs with her warning, shaking her head with amusement.

"Admit they are great!" I call after her, walking back into the bedroom to shut the door.

"I've missed you!" I hear her yell as she disappears down the stairs.

I turn to with my boobs cupped in my hands to maintain a semblance of modesty and see Calum putting on some pants. "I love her, but she should never do something like that again. Fuck." He rubs at his chest, closing his eyes.

"She didn't know you were in here."

"You girls just flash each other your tits?" He asks, looking for his t-shirt and shrugging it on.

I stop in my tracks on the way to the bathroom. "You've never shown Luke your penis?"

Calum raises his eyebrows, "No?"

"That's a lie." I cross my arms over my chest, preparing to goad him. I wanted to hear him laugh. One of the few things I'll never forget as long as I live is his laugh.

"Why would I show him my penis?" He walks around the bed towards me.

"Why wouldn't you?"

"We have better things to bond over." He scoffs.

I rack my mind for something dense to say. Something that would surely make him laugh. "Anal perhaps?"

Calum rolls his eyes but bursts out laughing. "Please put a shirt on, you're making it very hard for me to keep down my heart rate."

"You know better than to tell me what to do." I step closer to him and his quips pause abruptly. My gaze drifts down his face and down to his neck where I watch him swallow.

"Yeah. But if we stand here any longer, I'll have to take all my clothes off again and I don't want to. We have things to do, in case you've forgotten."

My brain decides to completely ignore what he's saying. I tilt my head to the side, and he watches the straight ends of my hair brush the tops of my shoulders and breasts. "What?" I ask and his body tenses. I adored the way he reacted to me.

"We should go down before Luke bursts in here too." He looks away and I want to touch the strain in his jaw. The way it clenches under the smooth skin. The sleep in his eyes and the way his hair curled against his temples. This was a high I had missed, having him this close and attentive.

"Take your clothes off," I order and he begins to complain again.

"We have things to talk about and plans to make, now is not the," he lets out a frustrated sigh. "Montana, please."

I turn and amble towards the bathroom. "I'll be in the shower."

He curses. Muttering to himself before I hear the light thud of his clothes dropping onto the carpeted floor just before I turn the water on.

A/N:

I apologize to you with my entire heart for being gone this long. It hasn't been easy. Writing these characters felt like a chore and so I had to distance myself until I stopped feeling that way, until I started to miss them so much that I was begging them to let me come back home to them. We are here now, though and we thank you for your endless patience and love.

Happy Holidays! I hope 2018 is kind to us all.

All my love,

Rythma