To say I was a 'good student' would be far from the truth.

I was always on edge, nervous, and constantly bottling up emotions. I was scared of everyone. On top of that, I was always unable to function in class due to several reasons such as:

1) My hearing aids don't let me focus on one voice. So like, you know how you can tune out someone else if you stop focusing on them? Yeah, I can't do that. My hearing aids amplify everything unless I turn them off. Basically, I had to listen to an entire class and not just the teacher.

2) Bullies taunt me, and, because I couldn't tune them out, I would just have listen to them saying things that made my blood boil all class long.

4) ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) is great for individuality. It is NOT a good thing for someone in school. Basically, the teacher says 'sit down', and your natural instinct/desire is to stand up, argue, or sit down in some unexpected way. If you don't do any of those things, you're going to have a headache for the next hour (IDK why, but like my conscience is a part of my ODD, and it basically berates me until I have a headache - it sucks).

5) Anxiety makes me overthink everything. Plus, I'm jumpy/don't like enclosed rooms/don't like large groups of people/don't do well in social situations/don't react well to being in close proximity to people who bully me. So yeah, every thing I do I constantly over think, and I'm basically inwardly panicking the entire time.

5) Simulated ADHD is just like regular ADHD only I can't take medication for it. I literally cannot focus or stay still for long periods of time. My mind has developed hyperactivity so that my brain can handle juggling trying to understand people, constantly being on guard, controlling anxiety, controlling ODD, regular movement/thoughts/reactions, and controlling quickly changing emotions that are enhanced by several disorders.

So yeah. School was like drowning in the river Acheron while in Tartarus. For those who don't know what that means, Acheron = river of pain and Tartarus = Hell.

That is, until I started going to smaller schools.

The first day I went to a small school was the first time my mom saw me smile in a week. She commented on it and I shrugged it off at the moment. Now I realize why she was so shell shocked - I had never smiled after school before. I always trudged to the car, beaten, tired, and sore. This time, I had practically skipped to the car with a wide grin.

So... yeah. That's how much public school sucks.