NOBODY FUCKING LISTENS ANYMORE
NOBODY!
EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS GONNA FUCKING END FASTER.

EVERYTHING...
EVERYTHING IS GOING FUCKING SHITTY

1:GLOBAL WARMING
2:CORONA
3:RACISM
4:SHOOTINGS
5:PRESIDENT VOTING
6:SCHOOL
7:SUICIDE
8:MURDERS
9:KIDNAPPINGS
10:RAPISTS
11:ANIMAL ENDANGERMENT
12:TREES
13:DEPRESSION
14:ANXIETY
15:CAR ACCIDENTS
16:ANIMAL ABUSE
17:CHILD ABUSE
18:DRINKING
19:THEORIES
20:OPINIONS

I COULD GO ON FOR FUCKING EVER.

I've never been so... *Starts crying* ashamed of humanity than now
...
I lost my cat.
My mom is barely home.
My dad is gone.
D thinks I think of him as a dad
My brother called my sister a slut
My brother called me a downer
I stopped being friends with someone from kindergarten.
My online friend barely talks to me.
My brother keeps saying I'm fine.
My anxiety.
My suicidal thoughts.
My hateful voices are coming back
I tell myself I'm a disappointment and a downer in the mirror on purpose.
I don't know how to cry unless I make myself feel bad.
People are looking at me in public weirdly
I'm a feminist.
Men are fucking rude sometimes
My little brother and grandparents want to talk to me.
My eldest sister, I've never heard or met her before.
I haven't seen my second sister in years
We're moving away again
The only reason we have periods is to get pregnant, even if we don't want to.
Our oceans are getting filled with garbage
My mom lost her friend in a motorcycle accident
My brother is always complaining "where did mom go" "of course she's not home" "how the fuck do you forget" "where were you" "get off the tv" "fucking peasant" "shut up" "oh your fine" "you don't have anxiety" "we don't have food in this place"
David and mom are talking shit about each other

I have so many fucking thoughts I can't say because....

I'm just a fucking human kid....
Who has daddy issues, hates confrontation, writes about how sad my life is, complains how bad humanity is turning...

And out of all of it....

I'm a human kid....
... I heard that humanity was bad.
..... I didn't believe it.
Then I did.
...

Out of one thing, in all of my life.

From the day of my birth to right now, sitting in bed crying while wanting to die ...
....

I always thought I believed something was bad about the world and humanity.... But it got worse when I saw it in person....

... This entire year has been the worst year I've lived....

... I saw my first dead body.... It was a car ran over I saw out the window of my school bus with it's parts out.
I witnessed my best friend get called "fucking weird" in public by a teenager.
I got rocks thrown at my ankles by someone at school and went two days limping, my brother being an ass still.

....

...
But if I died, nobody who is doing this stuff is hearing this.
Nobody would pass this on.
Nobody would speak after me if I died.

The people who are murdering aren't gonna hear this.
The people who are fighting with/against abortion aren't gonna hear this.
The people who are trying to protest aren't gonna hear this.
The people who are abusing aren't gonna hear this.
The people who are shooting aren't gonna hear this.
The people who are trying to recycle aren't gonna hear this.
The people who aren't bothering to wear a mask, who are talking shit, who are fighting, who are screaming, who are yelling, aren't gonna hear this.
And the people who are standing by, acting like this is normal, like it never bothered them, aren't gonna hear this.

.....
....
........ I'd rather die than live in a manity that can't even stop and understand or care.

... We might as well have killed ourselves....