C: "B is a sack of shit!"

A: "HEY! That's my sack of shit you're talking about!"

B:

——

A: "Sorry, the ice cream shop was calling to make sure they got my order right. Where were we?"

B: "Overthrowing the government."

A: "Ah, yes, please continue with your input."

——

B: "I thought you died!?"

A, who was just revealed to be immortal, absolutely done with everyone's shit: "Sometimes I wish I would."

——

???, after seeing Izuku with the LOV (AU where Izuku and Tomura are chill cousins/brothers): "Is Midoryia a villain?!"

The LOV, knowing damn well how powerful Izuku is: "We fucking wish he was 😭"

——

A: "You look like shit."

B: "Thanks I feel like it too!"

——

"Take a grand look at the floor before you become a bloody mop."

——

"Oh would you look at that my fucks to give just ran out, don't come again!"

——

"Bitch got the IQ of a brick wall."

——

A: "I will skin you alive and make you my own personal bodysuit."

B: "Yea okay"

A:

A: "I will kidnap everyone you love and care for, skin them alive, and make THEM my personal bodysuits."

B: >:o

——

"I will disconnect your WiFi, don't test me."

——

Bridesmaid: "Hey I'm sure he's great in bed!
Bride: "You'd know how good he is wouldn't you?"
Groom: *sweats nervously*
Bridesmaid: 🥲
The groomsmen/Rest of bridesmaids: 😶
Guests: 🤠

——

"I need like, 4 hours of old fashioned electric correction therapy to unhear that bullshit"

——

"Proof that I am essentially a partially blind dumb blonde without my glasses:
I saw my containers I use to put my lunch in and one was darkly colored and I paused and leaned in to look at it cuz I thought it was a brownie or something"

——

"Fuckin' burnt poptart. You are as useful to me as a burn poptart. And I never eat burnt pop tarts."

——

"One of the voices in my head: "Die."
Me: "Who tf you think you talking to??"
That voice: "

——

"I found this wonderful thing called a fuck to give! Except I lost it a long time ago.."

——