Time warped. Without Nit's steady ticking, minutes turned to hours, and hours back to minutes, with no way to track any of it. When her sobbing subsided, Tabby was left raw and emptier than before. The room was otherwise silent.

Midnight and Conrad no longer spoke, perhaps resigned to silence when she turned unresponsive. Betrayal. It was the worst kind of hurt. She'd always thought pain to be the worst. But no. This hurt more. To be forced to sit with them, down here after what they'd done. She didn't want to listen to their explanations, hear their excuses. Likely they had already gone through, in painstaking detail, the reasons for keeping things from her.

She knew what it was like to keep secrets. She'd kept plenty. But this? This was...perhaps unforgivable. These weren't little, harmless facts. Conrad had known her father's identity all this time. She'd been content to fulfill her end of the bargain, but how would that have changed had she known her father was the heir to the throne? That she was a bastard princess of Candela? That wasn't a secret to be lorded over her.

And Midnight? Training with Ghost? She thought of their relationship together, master and apprentice. So what if he never knew his master's true identity? The time they must have spent together, as damaging as Midnight had often made it sound...she shook her head. He could have told her once things had changed between them. Once they'd grown closer, he could have told her.

Now what?

Her tears dried up. She took a deep, steadying breath, trying to clear her head. Trying to think the way she'd been trained to.

Edwin had given her a choice, but was it really a choice? No. It was a non-choice. No matter the decision, Midnight and Steiner would die. She was delusional if she expected a better way out of this. They couldn't save her. Not this time. Not when they were in deep shit—shit they'd stepped in for being dishonest. Would their truths have changed things? Would they be here if she'd known?

Maybe she should kill them. While the thought of watching them suffer was tempting, and maybe they deserved it, she couldn't bear it. She couldn't bear to watch it, to hear them scream. Deep down, she cared—too much. Even if they'd hurt her, you didn't stop caring about someone—loving them, even—if they betrayed you.

She ground her teeth together. Her humanity was showing, and she hated it. Hated these feelings that made her question everything. Made her feel...helpless.

Edwin knew she couldn't bear it, to see them hurt. He knew about the bonds they'd formed. Knew they could be used against her. He'd wield them as the sharpest blade, drawing blood.

She swallowed against her dry throat, regretting that she hadn't accept the water Edwin had offered. The cup sat on the tray, half full, in the corner of the room where he'd left it. She stared past Nit's broken body, doing her best to avoid the pile of mangled parts.

"This is all my fault," she whispered at last. Her voice cracked.

"No, it's mine." Steiner spoke first. "I dragged you into this. I thought I had it all figured out."

She whipped her head around to look at him. "Yeah? Well, you didn't, did you?" He opened his mouth—"Don't. Don't speak. I don't want to hear it. Either of you. Just...don't." She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her head back, another tear dropping from her closed eyelids.

She fucking hated tears.

She thought of Midnight, thought over everything they'd shared the past few days—the happiest days of her life. Something she thought wasn't even possible. Happiness she'd garnered amidst all this fucked up shit where they were plotting to kill the High Mask who turned out to be Candela's king. How was that for reality?

But she couldn't help it. She couldn't help her thoughts of him. His hands on her body. His lips, gentle when she never imagined it possible. The way he'd made love to her. Light! She didn't think she could let him go.

But she had to. They were fucked. And there was nothing she could do about it.

She glanced at them. Her tracking gaze froze. There was blood dripping on the floor beneath Steiner. "Are you...hurt?" she asked, voice cracking.

"It's nothing." He tried to shift, winced, then looked away.

"He got shot," Midnight said.

"And you?" she asked. Midnight shook his head. She exhaled, not that it would soon matter.

"So you killed him? Maltby?" Midnight gazed at her. She nodded. "I knew you would. I'm sorry it didn't go according to plan. I'm sorry for...for everything."

She shook her head. "I should have listened to you—when you insisted we drop the pursuit and leave. You should have explained why you were so eager to defect. We should have..." She couldn't bring herself to finish.

All said and done, things had panned out the way they had. That was the reality. There was no changing it.

The door opened, making her jump. Edwin strolled into the room, his mask in place, torch in hand. Her heart flared at the additional presence of light, like the addition of a warm friend, coming to join their party. He thrust it into one of the empty sconces on the wall. Her eyes lingered over it, begging it for strength. Strength to get through what was to come. There was more dread than when she'd faced Reaper. At least then, it was just her. She could handle her own pain, but could she handle Midnight's? Steiner's?

"Now, my dear, have you made a decision?" He stepped forward, using his foot to flick Nit's broken pieces aside, scattering them.

She flenched. Her heart squeezed tight as her gaze lingered over the parts. "I am not your dear," she said, eyes snapping up to his. "You will never be my father—you gave up that right the day you gave me away. And I will never serve you. You'll have to kill me." In that moment, she realized that she was ready for death. To die for something bigger than herself, just like Clora had done. She hardly deserved to live after all she'd done, anyway. But she would die knowing she had chosen a side. The correct side. Knowing she'd strayed from neutrality and done what she could. It wasn't much, but it was something.

Midnight gave a pleased grunt beside her. He would take the torture if it meant preserving her dignity. So would Conrad. They would do that for her, no matter what had happened. No matter the secrets they'd held.

She thought of Clora—of Clora's sacrifice. Clora died rather than choosing to kill for the Spectrum. She would finally do the same, even though it had taken years to reach the same decision. Even if it meant watching her enemy torture two people she cared about. Better Midnight and Conrad than Elias. Poor Elias. Would he weep when he learned of her death? She only hoped he might be proud, knowing the choice she'd made in the end. And Clarabel. She'd never gotten to reconcile with her. Never earned her forgiveness. Perhaps in death Clarabel would grant it.

Edwin sighed. "That's too bad. But I respect your decision. Rat?" A masked spect stepped into the room. "Start with Deadlock first." Edwin pointed at Conrad. "Find out where Albert is. In fact, as soon as he volunteers the information, the truth, you can kill him. Maybe that will motivate him to speak up."

Edwin helped himself to the pitcher of water and leaned against the wall to watch behind his mask, arms crossed.

The world was silent for a time, but not for long. Rat worked fast. The sound of Steiner's screaming soon echoed through the chamber, chipping away at her heart, piece by piece. She couldn't look at him. Was this how he'd felt watching her whipped?

"Tabby," Midnight begged for her attention. She found herself gazing into his eyes, if only to lose herself in the depths of his emotion. Another scream left her flinching. She almost turned to look at Steiner, knowing Rat was focusing on his leg wound where he'd been shot. "No, Tabby. Look at me. Don't...don't turn around. That's it. Just keep looking at me." She nodded, eyes wide, following his orders. It was second nature after so many years, to listen to him without question, no matter what he'd lied to her about. That kind of control was something engrained within her, something she'd never get away from. And right now, she thanked him for it.

Steiner kept screaming, but he refused to give Prince Albert's location. Then his screams fell silent. He'd passed out; she knew it even without taking her eyes from Midnight.

"Stop." Edwin's sudden interference left her sagging in relief. "No use in assaulting an unconscious man. Go to Midnight."

She went still. "No..." she whispered, eyes still locked on Midnight's. Her breathing came in shallow gasps.

"Don't watch," Midnight said. "Look away."

"No, no," Edwin tsked. He came up behind her and forcefully turned her head, pinning it in Midnight's direction. "I think she should watch. Rat?"

Rat moved into position, taking hold of Midnight's hand, pressing it against the armrest of the chair. He plunged his dagger straight into Midnight's pinky finger, lengthwise. Straight through the bone. Midnight groaned through gritted teeth. Rat moved on, doing the same to each subsequent finger. Still, Midnight cried out through clenched teeth. But he didn't fight against the bonds—a show of his true strength. She realized in that moment that she loved him, if love was even possible for someone like her, and she'd never get to tell him. Not in the way she wished she could. Every muscle in his body bulged, taught against the onslaught.

Pride she never knew existed welled up inside of her. But she couldn't look away. She watched in horror, her eyes wide. Watched as the strongest man she'd ever known was reduced to tears and pain and weakness. Her stomach churned. This wasn't something she could handle. Beside her, Steiner's head still sagged.

A heavy breath burst through her chest. Enough! She couldn't bear it anymore. This burden was too much. "Please. Please, stop. I...no more. I'll...I'll give you what you want, Edwin." Was this how easily her father could manipulate her? Love was a blade...

Edwin came around to face her. A smile twisted his features. "I'm not so sure I believe you. I'm not so sure you'd be...faithful." Midnight chose that moment to lose consciousness. "Tsk tsk. It looks like we must halt for the moment. Rat?" Rat hesitated, looking at both of his unconscious victims, then nodded and stepped away.

They left the room and shut the door behind them, leaving her to her tears. Blood was a steady stream from their wounds. She trembled, unable to control her muscles. If they lost much more blood, they'd die. Her gaze darted over them, assessing. Rat had gone easy. No missing hands. Not even a missing finger. Not yet.

"Mid—" She stopped herself. If she woke him, his pain would only be worse. Same with Steiner. Let them sleep. Let them feel whatever reprieve they might.

Her brain hammered against her skull, made worse by the tense muscles in her jaw. She clenched her teeth so hard they'd probably crack. Her muscles ached, but still, she pulled against her bonds, trying to squeeze her hands free, her feet. The ties cut into her wrists, cutting into her circulation. She let out a low scream as she tugged again. Nothing.

With a mind of their own, her eyes darted around the barren room. There was nothing here. Nothing. Not even their left over items. Even if she could get free, a locked door would bar her escape. She had Nit though, or what was left of them. She could use Nit's pieces to pick the lock, to make it out into the corridor beyond, and whatever waited. Even if Nit's prism was drained, hidden beneath a scrap of metal. But her companions? They were in no shape to move, to travel, to fight. And she couldn't leave them. Wouldn't leave them. If they died, she'd die right here with them.

***

Her head snapped up at the sound of an opening door. There was drool on her chin. She wiped it against her shoulder, blinking. She'd dozed off. How long had it been? Hours?

Midnight and Steiner were both awake. They gazed at the wall, seeing but unseeing. Eyes glazed. Resigned. They would take their punishment. But she knew Steiner would never talk. He was too much like her.

Unless...unless Rat went to work on her. Then they'd both be talking. If Edwin tried to hurt her, they'd tell him anything and everything he wanted. She'd survived torture once—a mild form of it that didn't result in any dismemberment. Ghost wouldn't be so generous this time.

Rat strode forward, Ghost on his heels. "Have a nice break?" he asked, directing Rat back to Midnight's sagging form.

"I already told you," she said, trying to sound more convincing that before. "I'll do it. I'll do what you ask. Please, don't make them suffer."

"Tabby, don't—" Midnight.

"Clean deaths for my loyalty," she said to Edwin. "I promise to serve you. Whatever you ask of me."

"I see. Well, if that's the case, it will be you who wields the blade. You must kill them for your freedom. Is that something you're prepared to do?"

She blinked at him, her stomach rolling. A lump formed in her throat; she swallowed it down. "No," she said. She was naive to think he'd believe her—that she would serve him. As if on cue, something new inside her clicked into place. "No. I'm done killing for you. Never again."

"Just as I expected. I've grown used to getting my way. Once I shatter you, you'll be mine anyway. And I'll still get the immense pleasure of shattering them too."

"You were never going to give them clean deaths, were you?" she hissed, her face transforming with fury. "You just dangled it like a lifeline."

Ghost shrugged. "I was curious to see what you'd say. But no. The Spectrum should have broken you when you were a child. Clearly we failed. With all of you."

Rat moved to Midnight's other hand, readying his dagger. Her eyes darted between Rat and Edwin. Desperate. She refused to believe this was it. The end. Refused to accept it. Something inside her snapped free. Something she never realized was tethered in the first place. With it, the light in the room flared, as if moved by an invisible wind, as if it felt her despair. Edwin didn't notice. He was too intent on Rat's movements, eyes locked on target.

Warmth trickled through her. She glanced at the wall sconces, eyes widening. They seemed to pulse with every beat of her heart. "True users, those who were Light Touched, didn't need prisms to control light." Elias's words came floating back to her, a phantom whisper on a phantom wind. Her chest swelled at the thought of him, calming some of her ire. The light flared again, as if feeding off her emotions. And she knew—in this very moment, she knew. She knew that this time it would work. It had to.

"Edwin." The decision to use his name was deliberate. Rat froze, knife inches above Midnight's other hand. "How about you go fuck yourself?"

Wrists bound, she clenched and unclenched her fist, pulling with everything she had. A blast of pure white filled the room, so quick, it took no more than a split second. Without closing her eyes, she let the awareness of every visible wavelength in the room filter through her, keeping Midnight and Steiner safe with the violet sphere she filtered out, focusing on her white burst. A boom followed, shaking the walls of the undercroft, knocking dirt free. She gasped, feeling it patter down against her protective sphere. An instant later, the light faded. Ghost and Rat were on the floor. Unconscious.

Midnight and Steiner gaped at her, still half-delusional with pain. "You...you..." Steiner sputtered, eyes wide. "You fucking did it?!"

Still bound and pain ridden, this was probably a dream to them.

Flicking her fingers, she guided streams of light into Midnight's wounded fingers, healing them from where she sat. It felt...easier now, to control it. That didn't stop the growing headache. He watched with an open mouth, unable to believe what he was seeing. She went to work on Steiner next. He hissed as the shards of bullet fell from his leg. Then she summoned a jagged piece of Nit's metal body from the floor, controlling it with light as she set about sawing her bonds. They only had seconds, if that, before Rat and Ghost woke up. She all but fell from the chair, crawling forward on hands and knees. She did the same with Midnight and Steiner, slicing their bonds.

"We have to go," she croaked.

Conrad lunged for the dagger in Rat's limp hand. Midnight went straight for Ghost, searching him, pulling out and pocketing the prisms he found, and a couple of daggers. She was too busy with Nit, sobbing over Nit's pieces, over their broken body. Nit would have been so proud to see her. To see what she'd done. She'd reverently gathered up all their pieces into a pile, every last spring and cog, ignoring everything else around her. She took Nit's prism and set it atop the pile.

"Leave it," Midnight said, hand on her shoulder, eying the pieces before her.

"I can't. I won't." She stripped off part of the skirt beneath her maid's uniform, thanking light that Edwin hadn't bothered to strip any of them. Using the fabric, she filled it with Nit's pieces. She folded and tied it into a bundle. Using another strip, she fastened the bundle securely around her waist.

When she next looked, Steiner had already slit Rat's throat. "Tabby, you deserve this more than me—us." He handed her the dagger.

Ghost stirred, groaning. She swallowed, nodded, then took the dagger and straddled his chest. With a flick of her fingers, she pulled his mask away. His eyes fluttered open. The moment his wide eyes fell on hers, fear transformed his features. True, genuine fear.

Steiner and Midnight peered out into the hallway, cracking the door, occupying themselves to give her privacy. "We'll clear the corridor and return in a moment," they said.

"Going to kill me, Tabby?" Her father's eyes raked over her face.

"Yes," she choked. This was it—the moment she'd waited for. Even if it had turned out far different than she'd imagined.

"You don't sound very certain. We would make a great team, the greatest team Candela has ever seen. You're my first born. We could be a family again. First borns are heirs now that my father is dead. All I need is to reinstate you. Candela's princess. Wouldn't you like that? You could give up your assassin life, if you so wish. You want that, don't you chick-a-boo?" His words snaked around her, wrapping about her body. Suddenly she was four again, sitting in his lap, listening to him read fairytales. She could feel his scratchy beard tickling her cheek. "Don't you want to be a family again?" He rasped as her dagger pressed more firmly into his neck. A hesitation, then his eyes narrowed. "Is that a no?"

A storm of clattering footsteps, boots pounding on the stone corridor, and shouts, echoed beyond her. Then—riffle fire. She ignored it, focusing on the monster before her. A sneer transformed her features as she gazed down at him. Too long. For too long had this man haunted her like a fucking specter. No more.

"Tabby!" Midnight's voice in the corridor gave her pause. "We're out of time!"

More riffle fire.

Midnight and Steiner backed into the room, shoulder to shoulder. The door blasted off its hinges. A huge boom left her ears ringing. She blinked. Blinked again. The room spun around her. Edwin's fist collided with her temple, catching her off guard. Time was up.

She felt her kill slipping through her fingers like sand, there and gone, leaving a grainy, dirty feeling behind. The world lost color, faded, then spun around her as Edwin flung her away. She scrambled to stand. "I've got you," came Steiner's voice, grabbing her waist, pulling her gently through the room. Chaos exploded around them. Palace guards streamed in through the doorway, some going straight for Edwin—their king. "It's time to go," Steiner added.

"No! I—" She hadn't made her kill.

Bursts of light and gunfire swarmed her. Midnight's rage filled cry brought her back to herself, back to reality. "Steiner!" he shouted. "Get her out of here. Now! I'll hold them off." They were surrounded. The fear of being trapped, caged once more, washed over her, frigid and alarming. She'd been so close to freedom, and then she'd hesitated. That hesitation had cost them.

Not again. Never again.

She snapped into action. Pulling light to fight against the guards.

Steiner's arm, still around her waist, dragged her backwards, out of the room. She ignored her throbbing temples, pulling light to keep them protected. "Where's Midnight?" she screamed over the den. "Midnight!" She called for him.

"We cannot wait. We must go!"

"No, we have to—"

"Midnight can take care of himself, Tabby." Steiner pulled her along, dodging fire from the solders filling the corridor. He flenched against her—a bullet wound. They'd be destroyed if they stayed another moment. She looked back towards the room as the doorway shrank in the distance—the chamber bursting with colored light—willing Midnight to emerge. He didn't appear.

A sharp pain exploded in her leg, tilting the world on its axis. Another bullet—this time her and not Steiner. With one final look at the room behind her, she screamed, turning her rage-filled attention to the soldiers bearing down on them, blasting them out of the way with what little white light she could find.

And then they fled.