Rosy:

I wake to faint sounds and open my eyes to glance around and see which of my sons is sneaking into the bedroom. But it wasn't one of the boys, it was Micah packing.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Micah whispers glancing my way as I sit up. I pout as I see him slipping several shirts into a duffel bag before reaching for his underwear drawer.

"I thought you were leaving in the afternoon," I say softly not wishing to wake our sons sleeping in the room down the hallway.

"Been a change of plans. Dwayne and I leave at first light," Micah says gently.

"Come back to bed so I can say goodbye to you properly," I coax in a soft sultry voice.

"When I'm finished packing," Micah says gruffly as he grabs a handful of socks and stuffs them into the duffel bag hurriedly. I laugh softly as I climb from the bed, my nightie is a whisp of black and red lace that hangs from string like shoulder straps and stops barely an inch or two below where my knickers would have been if I were wearing any.

"Hey Big Spender," I purr softly as I slink towards Micah. " Whatcha got cookin'? Hows about cookin' something up with me?"

"Stop it," Micah growls quietly but the glance he sends my way is heavy lidded with interest and I lick my lips making his eyes darken with desire even as he looks away.

"I need to finish packing," Micah almost groans as I run my hands down his left arm from the point of his shoulder to his elbow and then along his forearm to his wrist. I lean close and press a kiss to his biceps before nipping gently at the muscle beneath the skin. I lick and suck down his arm to his elbow slowly as he hurriedly packs the last of his clothes. My hand slips onto his flat stomach and I can feel his abs tense as I run my hand lightly up and then over his ribs. My fingers find a nipple and I duck beneath his arm as I slip my arms around his waist.

"Hell woman," Micah groans as my lips find the nipple through his t-shirt and I nip at it before sucking strongly. He groans as he puts his arms around me and pulls me close, already I can feel he is primed for me as he presses his hips against me and a hard bulge nudges against my lower stomach.

I drop to my knees suddenly hungry for the taste of him and my hands shake as I free him from his shorts and underwear. I lick the head of his cock before moving lower to lick from the base of his cock back up to the head before swirling my tongue around the head. A low groan comes from Micah and I swirl my tongue around the head of his cock again, I open my mouth wide and suck strongly. I concentrate on taking him into my mouth and throat without gagging as I begin bobbing my head up and down.

I feel Micah's fingers burrow through my long hair as he grasps my head while I love him with my mouth. His breath comes in soft pants and moans until finally he pushes me away with a grunt before pulling me to my feet so he can kiss me hungrily. An instant later I feel the bed beneath my back and my nightie rips beneath his impatient hands as he kisses his way down my body.

"That's ... three this ... week," I pant breathlessly as his mouth finds my folds and my entire body vibrates as he laughs against me.

"Well sleep naked," He says gruffly before licking and kissing in earnest. I gasp and I am soon writhing helplessly as my body quickly ignites beneath his touch. I am almost coming when he flips me onto my stomach and rubs my bottom.

"I said I needed to finish packing," Micah says huskily. I yelp into the pillow as he slaps the firm round globes beneath his hand, he delivers half a dozen slaps with enough power to sting sharply and I know it will smart for a while. His fingers delve between my spread thighs and I get up onto my knees eagerly despite the remaining sting from his slaps. I am not disappointed as he takes me from behind, the contact against my bottom smarting and hurting, adding to the erotic sensations as he reaches beneath me.

I smother my squeals of pleasure against the pillow as he takes me hard and fast. I come quickly and press back against him eagerly but he pulls out and flips me onto my back making me gasp in surprise. He moves up over me hooking my legs over his shoulders as he moves into place, I gasp and whimper as he claims me in one long hard thrust. His lips find mine as he pounds into me. I feel another orgasm welling up in my lower stomach but can't do anything other than try to move beneath him.

"I thought you said we were leaving at daylight!" Dwayne snaps from the doorway.

Micah jerks against me, tenses and shudders hard against my body sending me over the edge with him. I feel him groan against my neck as his body shudders again and I gasp and arch my back as pleasure shoots through me.

"Get the fuck away from this room Dwayne!" Micah yells as he turns his head. I feel the vibrations go from his body into mine where he is locked firmly inside me. I hear tense voices and then movement at the doorway.

"Everything okay in here?" Steven asks from the doorway.

"I need to get my legs down Micah," I pant softly. "I can't stay like this too long."

I hear Micah growl softly as Steven approaches the bed, I turn my face away as I feel a hand slip behind my far knee and suddenly the leg is free for me to lower it to the bed. When both legs are free I am silent as Steven leaves the room and I bite my bottom lip to stifle any sound as pleasure shoots through me as Micah shudders.

"I don't know if I should spank you for starting this, or give Dwayne a black eye for interrupting when he did," Micah growls against the side of my neck before licking and kissing his way up to my earlobe. I turn my head and we kiss long and deep, Micah swallowing my whimpers when he shudders against me again. I turn my head and I listen to the birds singing outside heralding the new day as I lay in Micah's arms. I close my eyes and whimper in pleasure and Micah's soft grunts tell me he is enjoying this delay in his leaving earlier than originally planned.

When Micah finally slips from my body I hold him close and kiss him deeply. His lips are hard on mine and he pushes me away after a minute or two.

"I need to have a shower," he says gruffly as he rolls away from me. I cover my eyes with an arm as I sigh and try to will my tingling body to stop. I hear the sound of the shower start to run in the bathroom and blink at the ceiling several times before smiling.

"Well you are going to be away overseas for nearly three weeks Micah Williamson," I say quietly. I don't bother with clothes as I climb out of bed and walk into the ensuite we had installed in the master bedroom. I enter the large shower cubicle with Micah and he turns towards me startled, I smile as I reach towards his groin and I watch his eyes darken as he slowly lowers his head to kiss me.

The boys are still asleep when we get out of the shower. Micah quickly dresses for his business trip and I pull on a loose top and soft shorts. I follow him to Steven's shiny black ford falcon XR6 parked in the driveway of the homestead and stand in the shadow of the veranda as the sun rises in the east. Micah puts his suitcase and duffel bag in the boot with Dwayne's luggage and I glance at Mikkarl who is getting into the back seat of the car. He will bring Steven's car back from the airport when Micah and Dwayne catch their flight overseas. I hear Steven walk out onto the veranda but I don't turn my head to look at him, all my attention is on my husband as he walks towards me.

"I'll be back in twenty four days," Micah says firmly as he takes me in his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck and cling to him almost desperately as we kiss, I bury my face against his neck for a few seconds as I breathe in his scent.

"A day to get there, a week to visit with your fathers family then the meetings with the Alphas ..." I recite the itinerary I know by heart but Micah silences me with a finger on my lips.

"I have my return ticket already but if I can get home any sooner I will," Micah promises and I nod silently. He gives me one last kiss before lifting his head and I know he is looking at Steven over my head.

'Keep an eye on things while I'm gone," Micah says sternly.

"Yes Boss," Steven says confidently.

"I'll be here all the time," Sam says and I glance at my oldest brother.

"Stay safe," I tell Micah as he releases me reluctantly and turns towards the car. The need to be with my husband is strong but with establishing our new Clan at the homestead now it has been fully restored demands one of us remains behind. And since I am still breastfeeding Wynn as well as looking after Terry and Dacey it made sense I remained here.

"We'll take the boys camping on your mountain when I get home," Micah says referring to Mount Warning, the mountain in my territory. The mountain I felt drawn to whenever I roamed in cat form.

"I'll hold you to that," I say with a laugh refusing to be sad that we will be apart for the first time since we were married. I watch as Micah and Dwayne get in the front of the car, Micah behind the wheel and Dwayne in the front passenger seat.

"And Steven," Micah says with a lazy glance at his best friend. " Try to stay out of my wife's bed."

I feel heat flood my face and I know I am blushing as Micah's gaze sweeps over me and I hear Steven laughing at Micah's dry tone. Micah and I have been married nearly fifteen and a half months and though Steven had been allowed to sleep in the same bed with us on several occasions there had been practically no intimacy between him and I. The car starts with an almost silent purr and Micah waits for maybe thirty seconds before letting the car glide smoothly down the driveway. His right arm appears out the drivers' window for a few seconds and I lift my right hand as well. I watch the car disappear around the curve of the hill and slowly lower my arm with a soft sigh. The early morning songs of the birds soon fill the silence left by the departure of the vehicle and I hear Steven and Sam shuffle on the veranda behind me.

"I'd better go inside," I say quietly. "The three boys will be waking up soon and will be hungry."

I frown as Wynn whimpers and turns his face away from the cup I try to hold to his mouth. I smother my sigh of irritation and look up in relief as Sam walks into the kitchen.

"Can you take Wynn and give him his cup of milk please?" I ask with a tight smile.

"Anything wrong?" Sam asks as he lifts Wynn out of my arms, sits down and settles the restless child on his lap before reaching for the cup of milk.

"I don't have much milk this morning," I say softly. "He must have woken up in the early hours of the morning and had a drink,"

Sam doesn't give me more than a passing glance as I move away to get myself a glass of fruit juice. I pour a large glass full and return the container to the fridge before sitting down at the far end of the table to watch my son drink his milk easily for Sam.

"I've noticed you've been giving Wynn a cup of milk at night before bed as well the last few days, maybe the week since Micah left." Sam says evenly and I lift my gaze from my son to look at Sam's face. His eyes are serious and watchful and I glance back at Wynn.

"My milk is getting less and less," I admit levelly.

"Have you thought to ring Beth or Marissa?" Sam asks.

"I rang Doc three days ago when I realised how little milk I actually had," I say with a faint sigh. "He said it's normal and it's just my milk supply cutting back with Wynn eating solid food. In another six or eight months he'll stop drinking from me. Within a three to four month time frame Micah and I will be planning another Kitt."

"It'll be good to have another little one around," Sam says with a grin. "I take it that's why you sat outside talking to Micah on the phone for two and a half hours the night before last night."

"Yeah," I say with a fond laugh at the memory. "As much as we love the boys we can't wait to add to our family."

The sound of feet and paws on the veranda then the screen door banging makes me look towards the doorway with a fond smile. Even before they come into sight I know Steven and Mikkarl will be following Terry and Dacey, one or more of them in cat form. Terry is in cat form, a gangly black kitten with a white diamond splashed in the centre of his chest and Mikkarl close behind in cat form. Dacey appears a normal boy and I stand up as he rushes towards me. Without conscious thought I extend my left arm and as he gets closer he grabs my hand with both of his hands. I curl my arm up as if lifting weights and smile as Dacey literally climbs up my left side with his feet before letting go of my hand to throw his arms around my neck. He quickly uses his hands and feet as he crawls around to perch up high on my back, almost on my shoulders.

"Oi Dacey! Your mother is not a tree!" Sam reprimands him.

"Steven gonna tickle me!" Dacey squeals with glee and clings to me as Steven gives a mock growl in human form and pretends to try to grab Dacey to pull him from his perch.

"Mum! Mum!" Dacey squeals and Wynn gives an excited scream.

"Mummum! 'Teven!" Wynn adds his childish voice as Terry yowls.

"Steven Willoughby! Stop being terrorised by my children immediately!" I say with a laugh as Dacey manages to climb onto my shoulders and wrap his legs tightly around my neck.

"Dacey! Legs!" Sam orders immediately as I raise my hands slightly. Dacey quickly loosens his grip and pats the top of my head with his hands gently but firmly.

"Sorry Mum," Dacey purrs and I pat one of his chubby little legs.

"Try to remember next time," I reprimand gently.

"At the rate the boys are growing you will have to stop letting him do that soon," Steven remarks. I glance at Wynn and Terry who is changing back to human form, both boys are in the tall range for their ages and I know Dacey will be tall and solidly built just like Jakob Perkins had been.

"No I want them to stay kids as long as they can," I say softly.

"It won't be tomorrow," Steven laughs and I stick my tongue out at him. Steven gives a purely male growl and I roll my eyes as I look away, ignoring the way my body tightens at his blatant admiration. I catch a whiff of the strong odour that clings to my left arm as I brush my hair back out of my eyes and wrinkle my nose.

"What have you two boys been into?" Sam demands and I realise the smell has just hit him as well.

"Dead wallaby," Mikkarl says with undisguised glee as he straightens up onto his legs in human form. I glance at him and notice faint smears on his chest and realise that at least he and Dacey had rolled in an old carcass.

"Yuck! Go use the outside shower now!" I order as I help Dacey swing down from my shoulders. I watch the four head outside and shake my head as I refuse to think about my sons being allowed to do such a thing.

"Shower for you too," Sam says and gets to his feet, settles Wynn on his hip and puts the empty cup on the sink. I catch sight of the smile on one upturned corner of his mouth and shake my head as I head for the shower in the ensuite. Apparently a tom rolling in disgusting smells while in cat form is acceptable behaviour.

I glance up at the nearly full moon as it comes into clear view above the tops of the trees as I hold the mobile phone to my ear and listen impatiently to the sound of ringing on the other end. There is a click and then Micah's voice as the call goes to message bank. I grit my teeth as I fight the urge to simply hang up, the customary beep sounds and I speak as normally as I can.

"I need to speak to you," I say quickly. "No emergency but ASAP Micah." Reluctantly I end the call and head back inside from the rear of the house. The lounge room is oddly quiet and I glance in to see Steven glaring at one of the new toms he had helped Micah choose to fill out the ranks of the Warriors. I look to Sam who is just inside the door where Sasha sits between him and Mikkarl and I raise my eyebrows.

"Anything I should know about?" I ask quietly.

"Nothing the Chief warrior can't handle," Mikkarl says with satisfaction as he watches his brother.

"If there's going to be any rough stuff take it outside," I say evenly as if disinterested. "I don't want anything getting broken or knocked over."

"Mike and Jackson were just about to head off to the Longhouse for the night, weren't you." Steven says, his voice heavy with authority.

"I'm happy to go into Murwillumbah and pick up a new TV tomorrow if I'm not needed," Mike says getting to his feet as his partner Jackson gives Steven an irritated look before doing as Steven ordered.

The trill of the half forgotten phone in my hand draws my attention and I smile as I recognise Micah's ring tone. I am already headed back outside, the problem inside forgotten as I press the accept button and lift the phone to my ear.

"Hallo Beloved," Micah says before I can even speak. I laugh lightly.

"How do you even know it's me and not someone else watching my phone?" I ask with a purr in my voice.

"Lucky guess," Micah laughs and then groans softly. "Damn I miss you Darling,"

"Not as much as I miss you," I nearly moan and I feel tears fill my eyes.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?" Micah asks. I open my mouth to speak to him I'd had what I was going to say all planned out. How I was going to say it, but suddenly my train of though dissolves and my mind flashes back to my evening shower ...

The cascade of water from the showerhead is slightly warmer than my body as I step beneath the spray. My skin is highly sensitive for some reason and I sigh in pleasure as I turn around to let the water run down my back before stepping completely beneath the spray to wet my hair. I take my time working shampoo through my long hair and enjoy the sensation of the water running over my scalp as I rinse it. The foam of bubbles slides down over my chest and I automatically raise a hand to help rinse it off. My nipples tingle and tighten under the light brush of my fingertips and I groan softly, my body coming to life as I cup my breasts and massage gently. My body is telling me how much it misses Micah and I run my hands down over my sleek ribs and flat stomach to the curls that conceal my feminine mound. I open my eyes and take a moment to open the shower screen and check that I locked the bathroom door before returning to my shower and the exploration of my body.

My body is in the perpetual state of arousal it has been in for the last two days and I run my fingers between my slick folds taking my time to explore what feels good. I am already very slick and wet as my fingers find my entrance and I stop for a moment as I feel the moistness that comes from my core. I pause for a moment as sudden nervousness makes my stomach churn and then I run my fingers through that moistness and carefully bring my hand up to my face to sniff my fingers.

The rich scent of my arousal is on my fingers but it is the undertone of spicy cinnamon that catches my attention. I quickly reach down with my other hand and run those fingers between my folds before lifting the hand to sniff to double check ...

"I'm coming into season," I say breathlessly into the phone then look around to make sure no one is close by. "I need you home Micah!"

I hear Micah take a sudden sharp deep breath and he exhales with a groan. My entire body tightens and I feel the moistness start to seep from my core once again as my breasts grow heavy and tingle.

"I'm hanging up and getting the first available flight home," Micah hisses. "I'll call back with details."

I swallow my groan of disappointment as he hangs up but I try to calm down knowing he will be doing as he said and booking the first available flight home. I become aware of the low drone of voices out the front of the Homestead and walk around the side to see what is going on. I stand back in the shadows and watch for a minute or two. I soon work out that Steven is making it clear to Clint, Jackson's younger brother to stay away from Sasha. I glance around the group of eight warriors. Jackson and Mike as well as Clint and Brian are four American toms who have come over to Australia to learn first hand how our society functions. I am just about to turn and walk away when the phone vibrates in my hand before giving its loud shrill demand to be answered. I lift it to my ear as I answer the call, my body tensing as my breasts get suddenly heavier and the nipples tighten as they demand attention.

"Hey Darling," Micah's voice growls softly in my ear and I feel my entire body come alive as if he were standing here beside me. I feel the sudden rush of

moistness between my thighs and have to grit my teeth to avoid moaning with desire into the phone. I stumble in the dark of the shadows and I stop, surprised to find myself slightly breathless.

"Hey," I say breathlessly into the phone. Suddenly I feel the warmth of a blush spread over me and a giggle threatens to bubble up out of me but I swallow it.

"The first available seat is three days," Micah groans.

"Three days? And nineteen hours flight time home ..." I feel tears of frustration well in my eyes. "That's going to seem like a lifetime,"

"The flight leaves early morning " Micah says in a tight voice. "How long before you go into the ... damn! There's no cage at the homestead! Go visit Mitchell and Jazzy, they'll be glad to see everyone and I know Jazzy will only be too happy to see ..."

At the mention of the word cage my mind congers up images of my mountain and suddenly I long to run in the bushland there. A quiver runs through my body and I feel the warmth of a sigh brush through my parted lips as my cat longs to be free and running on our mountain in the first rays of light of a new day. I tighten my grip on my phone and force the image and sensation of cold steel bars into my mind bringing myself back to reality. I become aware of Micah rambling on about Jazzy and Mitchell and realise he must have taken my silence for reluctance.

"Okay," I say and laugh into the phone. "I'll do as you asked."

I walk towards the back entrance, laughing and chatting to Micah as I go. I sit on the back step once the phone call is over, my body is tingling and buzzing as I sigh and lean forward to rest my wrists on my knees. It is nearly half an hour before I hear Sam's footsteps come to the door behind me.

"How you doing?" Sam asks quietly as he slips outside to sit on the steps beside me.

"I'm fine," I say with a shrug. I gaze off into the night sky trying to find the right words to explain to Sam why I am about to ask to visit Jazzy and Mitchell when I had been so adamant about staying here at the Homestead while Micah was in America.

"I got a call from Micah," Sam says breaking the silence. I feel the smile of relief that creeps onto my face.

"He spoke to you about making sure I go visit Mitchell and Jazzy?" I ask.

"Yeah," Sam says as he puts his arm around my shoulders. "Being in the cage won't be as bad this time, your husband will come and join you in there." His voice is reassuring.

"I want to take the boys for a run as cats around the house in the morning before we leave," I say with a smile.

"We can arrange that," Sam says with a laugh and gives my shoulders a quick squeeze.

"What are we arranging?" Steven asks as he walks up to the back door. Steven nudges Sam in the back with the door until Sam moves out of the way so the door can open and Steven can come outside. Steven immediately sits in the spot Sam had been in and looks at me with a grin. A low growl comes from Sam and before I can blink Sam is reefing Steven from beside me and pushing him away from the steps.

"I'm going inside!" I snap, my mood suddenly turning angry. I am not in the mood for arguments around me. I get to my feet and head inside quickly. I check on the three boys hoping they are asleep in their beds, Dacey lifts his head and I see the shiny evidence of tears on his cheeks. I move to the side of his bed and sit down as I stroke his hair soothingly.

"What's wrong Dacey?" I ask softly so as not to wake Terry or Wynn.

"I want Daddy," He sobs as he sits up to throw his arms around my neck. "Is him lost? Is that why him not come home?" Dacey's words cut at my heart. I hate to see any of my boys in distress.

"Come with me," I say softly on impulse. I push his blankets back and help him from the bed, lift him onto my hip and carry him to the kitchen. I find what I am looking for in one of the small cupboards above the bench and take a single white candle from a packet, find a tall glass candleholder and a box of matches. On the front veranda I place the candle in the holder and help Dacey strike a match to light it. We sit the candle in the middle of the small metal table and stand back to watch the small flickering flame for a few minutes.

"See that candle," I say softly. "That is a come home we love you, candle." I tell him gently. Dacey looks away from the small flame to look up into my face for a moment before looking at the flame once more.

"How wool Daddy see it?" Dacey asks solemnly. "He a long way away,"

"Well that candle is magic," I say softly. "When we light that candle Daddy will feel it in his heart and know to come to us wherever we are."

Warmth fills me as I remember Harry telling me something similar many years ago when the absence of my mother had been too much for a growing girl to bear. Only back then it had been, 'Mummy in heaven will seen this candle burning and she will know it is her little girl saying 'Hallo, I love you.' So look for the brightest star in the Eastern sky and that is her, waiting for the day she can be with you again.'

I look down at Dacey, he is staring at the candle with a serious look on his face. He glances up at me and gives a solemn nod as he reaches for my hand.

"I go to bed now," Dacey says seriously.

"It might take Daddy a few days to get home, he is very far away." I warn him gently.

"Is 'kay," Dacey whispers as we near the big room he shares with his brothers. "Him love us, him come home."

I have to smile at the very self-assured tone of his voice as he makes his announcement. It only takes a few moments to settle him in his bed and I pause in the doorway on the way out to glance back, he is already sprawled out with one arm above his head, asleep.

The dew is wet on my paws as I walk onto the short grass surrounding the Homestead. The sky in the east is still bright with the colours of dawn and I look longingly towards the silhouette of the mountain behind the house. I rotate my ears as I hear the faint sound of paws trotting towards the door onto the veranda, a mass of dark furry bodies tumble out the door as it bursts open beneath eager paws. Terry and Dacey race down the steps tripping each other over and tumbling in a tangle of furry legs and tails onto the dusty ground beside the steps.

I watch them as the pile of black fur separates into two little bodies once again. Terry with his smoky charcoal coloured fur and startling white diamond on his chest. And Dacey now a handsome black that glints blue in the sun with white on his neck like a collar, on both front paws and halfway up his right back leg. Dacey trots into the sunlight with smooth feline grace, gone are the clumsy gaits of a young kitt. Both my older boys are growing up.

I prance forward and briefly touch noses with both boys before darting off inviting them to play. We dodge and dart around the flower gardens I have established, Terry looking comical as he pauses to peer between the tall stems of sunflower plants that are topped with large golden yellow blooms. I can hear the native bees buzzing as they feast on the pollen and in a couple of nearby trees King parrots call indignantly. I allow both boys to catch the tip of my tail as I hide behind low beds of zinnias, only my tail visible.

Mikkarl and Sasha join us in cat form and we venture over near some of the out buildings. A game of hide and seek starts and Dacey is trying to find everyone using the simple tracking by scent techniques I have been teaching the boys. I turn my attention towards the Homestead as an unfamiliar sound reaches me, I freeze then head towards the Homestead as fast as I can go. I can hear the high-pitched yowling of a terrified kitt!

Sam is coming down the steps from the veranda, a wriggling dark form in his hands. I can tell it is a kitt and while he holds it by the scruff of the neck with one hand he tries to support its wriggling hindquarters with the other hand. He drops it the last fraction to the ground then turns and sprints for the front door. I screech my outrage, my ears are pinned back against my skull and I literally see red.

"Rosy no!" Steven is yelling. "It's Wynn! It's your kitt!"

I don't need his words, something inside me had recognised my son's distressed cries even though he has never been in cat form before. I come to a halt at the bottom of the steps and let out a roar that would do Micah proud as Sam slams the screen door behind himself. I growl threats at him before turning towards the small quivering form crouched halfway between the bottom step and the nearest flowerbed. I give several soft murmurs and watch as my son hisses fearfully before flicking his small rounded ears towards me. I murr at him once again and he lets out several high-pitched anxious chirps, I call softly and suddenly Wynn recognises me.

Slightly cloudy eyes meet mine and I feel a warm flood of love and the need to protect him at all costs flow over me. I see the recognition burst into flame in his eyes and Wynn stands up on unsteady legs, I purr encouragingly and watch as he takes several wobbly steps towards me. I walk over to him and begin to lick Sam's scent from Wynn's soft kitten fluff. A low purr rumbles from my son's chest as I clean him and I lay down obligingly when he snuggles close and nuzzles my side. I pause for a moment and look around making sure the area is safe for my son before he suckles. My tail flicks in lazy contentment and I eye the toms that are standing around the perimeter in a circle of security. I glance at Steven where he is at the side of the house changing into his cat and I flick my ears as I hear the sounds inside the house that tell me Sam is doing the same.

A soft meow of enquiry from Sasha has me laying my ears back and I get to my feet to face her as she edges closer emitting half chirps. Wynn nuzzles against my under belly still feeding and I move so he is near my hind legs as I bristle at Sasha. She sniffs towards my nose then creeps forward on her belly until she is lying prone almost beneath my front feet. She has a look of wary delight on her feline face as she watches my son feeding. Finally she withdraws and heads into the Homestead with Terry and Dacey following her.

Sam comes walking down the steps slowly with a kind of regal dignity and I get to my feet arching my neck, body and tail as every single hair stands on end. A low warning growl rumbles up from deep inside me as I stand protectively over my son. Sam chuffs softly as he approaches me, he stops just before his nose touches mine. I can see my eye filled with violet fire reflected in my brother's eye for a moment before he turns his head leaving the curve of his neck exposed to me. A low growl comes from Sam and I look past him to see Steven approaching with high stepping excitement. Steven snorts but comes no closer as he watches Wynn and me intently. I lay my ears back flat on my head and pull my whiskers back as I hiss savagely at him. I feel my lips draw back over my teeth in threat and a sense of satisfaction fills me as Steven backs up a couple of steps. Mikkarl moves to stand beside his brother and they both call enticingly to me. I snarl then turn and gently pick Wynn up by the scruff of his neck in my mouth and head for the front door.

I curl up on top of the mat in the boys room in cat form with Wynn nestled happily against my side, I curl my tail around to lay over him and rest my chin on the floor as I watch my young son begin to fall asleep. Whimpers and soft meows escape him as he slowly changes from cat to human form for the first time. I nuzzle his sleeping form and look up as Sam pads into the room on velvety paws, I lay my ears back but don't object as he sniffs Wynn. Sam curls up on the other side of Wynn and I stay where I am for several minutes until the sounds of the others outside lures me away from my sleeping son.

My approaching heat has made me restless and I trot off the veranda and down the front steps as I watch Steven and Mikkarl playing catch with Sasha and the two older boys. Steven leaves the game to walk towards me in a smooth flowing glide, I wait until he has almost reached me before I leap away and race for the crest of the hill behind the Homestead. I reach the top only to spin and face him, I allow him to almost sniff my nose and then I am off down towards some of the out buildings as fast as I dare to go. I glimpse Mikkarl angling from over near the new garage and gather myself for when he almost intercepts me. Instead of changing direction I leap high over his body and land smoothly on the far side avoiding the tangle as Steven collides with Mikkarl.

I disappear in the old log shed, bounding up the stacked bales of hay to leap onto one of the thick rafters. I creep along it until I am perched above the open door and watch as Steven and Mikkarl trot inside the building. They halt as they let their eyes adjust to the gloom, the stack of hay bales at the rear of the large shed is the focus of their attention, I tense the moment Steven steps towards the pile. I let them get halfway to the back of the building before I gather myself and drop from the dark heights near the roof. I land with a solid thud, my well-conditioned muscles absorbing the shock of my leap before I am racing out into the sunlight. It takes me a couple of strides to clear the shadow of the building and as I race towards the stream at the bottom of the pasture I know my coat glows with the soft sheen of rosettes almost hidden beneath the inky black.

Behind me I hear both Steven and Mikkarl call to me but it feels like I am flying as I skim across the ground. It is strange how I seem to feel each individual muscle working with every stride. I feel almost electrified and vibrantly alive as I race silently over the sandy soil near the stream. The ground feels solid and cool beneath my paws then I am splashing through the shallow water to the small lushly grassed mini-island midstream. I spin and turn to face the way I came and lift my head as I watch the two toms racing towards me. Steven is in front and slows as he reaches the stream, his head is lowered slightly and his chin drawn towards his chest as he approaches me expectantly. A deep soft chuffing sound comes from him and I tremble with excitement as we sniff noses. The cold wet pug of his nose brushes the hair around my ear as he inquisitively sniffs my head and then neck. His whiskers brush my shoulder and he lowers his head as he sniffs along my underbelly back to my hindquarters.

Excitement makes my stomach churn as I lift my tail and let him sniff beneath it. His soft chuffs start again but this time there is a more commanding tone to them and I shiver as he runs his nose up my spine towards my front shoulders. A paw brushes against the side of my shoulder and I spin away from him to face him, he settles back onto all four paws and gives a series of soft rumbling calls. Shock and excitement fills me as I realise he had just tried to mount me, his continued behaviour informs me is aware that I am coming into heat and good old mother nature is making us both forget about Micah.

Cold reality washes over me. Micah and I are hoping to conceive a kitt and here I am flirting with Steven! Nearly letting him mount me! Mortification spills over from my human half to my cat half and I lay back my ears as I snarl viciously at both toms. I continue to growl and hiss threats as I step delicately through the water and onto the sand not far from Mikkarl, he darts a nervous glance at his older brother and backs away. I snarl at them both and mock charge Steven before turning and fleeing towards the Homestead.

The warm water cascades over my heated body washing away the sweat, dirt and debris from my run. I duck my head beneath the spray and water runs through my hair and over my scalp but it fails to soothe me as my arousal bubbles just below the surface. I groan as I lean my head forward letting my forehead rest on the cool tiles of the shower cubical while water runs down my shoulders and back.

"Let me help you,"

At the sound of Steven's words I whirl around startled, I hadn't heard him come into the ensuite. I open my mouth to tell him to go away, to leave me alone, but the words are slow coming and then he is beneath the spray and kissing me. I moan softly against his mouth, the contrast of his warm strong body against my breasts, stomach and thighs and the cold hard tiles at my back is almost intoxicating. I find my arms slipping up around his neck and my body arching into his. I feel him press a muscular thigh between mine and I move my feet further apart to accommodate him. My nipples tighten into hard buds as they press against his chest, I can feel each breath he takes. One of his hands skims my lower back and then cups my butt to pull my hips hard against his making liquid fire deepen the burning ache deep in my inner most depths.

I moan softly against his mouth again and his hand leaves my arse to slip between us, his fingers slip between my slick folds and my legs almost buckle as he finds my clit. I know I shouldn't be letting him do this as his mouth brushes my ear before finding my neck to nibble down its side. His fingers dance over my slick nub making me gasp and tremble.

Just another moment and I'll stop this, I tell myself even as I turn my head to nip at his shoulder. I press my mouth against his shoulder biting him in warning even as my body arches into his. An answering growl comes from his throat and he grasps the hair on the back of my head with his other hand pulling my head back exposing my throat to his mouth a few moments before spinning me in his arms so I face the wall. The cold tiles make my nipples bead into impossibly hard nubs and I rest my forehead against the wall as I feel my hips being pulled back against his. A hand skims down over the sensitive skin of my stomach and I find myself widening my stance. Pleasure shoots through me and I lift one leg to brace my foot against the side of the cubicle as his fingers find my passage. Steven quickly sets a rhythm, his fingers pumping in and out as his thumb rubs my clit and I gasp through an orgasm that leaves me weak and trembling. I am aware of the shower being turned off and then Steven carrying me into the bedroom. The sound of ripping foil brings me back to my senses as quick as a bucket of ice cold water would and I look up from where I lay on the bed.

Micah ... Steven ...A sick feeling fills my stomach, I know instantly Micah would hate Steven and I having sex but accept my behaviour.

"No," I say in a trembling voice as what I have done begins to really hit me. Steven looks up from putting on the condom to meet my eyes and I look away as shame burns a warm path across my skin.

"I can't do this to Micah," I say forcing strength into my trembling voice.

"Micah won't like it much but he'll understand," Steven says. I feel him climb onto the bed but not touch me as he watches me. "He won't hold it against us."

"We're hoping for a kitt. I can't do anything to jeopardise that," I stumble over the words trying to spare his feelings. I listen to his strained breathing, I can smell his arousal, smell the heavy muskiness of his body. A very masculine growl comes from his throat and suddenly he is leaning over me, his breath brushing against the skin of my neck making it tingle. Making the empty ache of arousal start once again.

"You want it as much as I do," Steven says as he nuzzles the side of my neck. My breath hitches and my nipples tighten beneath his exploring fingers making me bite my bottom lip.

"Micah is my husband, my soul mate, my everything. I want him, not just any tom. I'd never be able to forgive myself for betraying him like this," I say sharply. I glance at Steven nervously not sure if I am going to have to fight him off and I am just in time to see the hurt and humiliation flicking across his face. A sharp hiss and Steven rolls away from me, gets to his feet and stalks from the room slamming the bedroom door viciously on his way out. I roll onto my stomach and bury my face in a pillow but the faint lingering scent of Micah makes my body throb with arousal once again. I groan and head for the shower to wash the smell of my heat and climax away.

I step beneath the flow of water and reach for my shower gel as I think back. I noticed my heat was starting two days ago, day eight of Micah's business trip. Two days and he will be on a plane and heading home to me. I sigh and rinse bubbles from my skin as I think about how excited Micah is, the chance for a kitt, our kitt. Anticipation hums through me at the thought, a kitt born from our love. A sliver of guilt edges its way into my thoughts, I shouldn't have let things go so far with Steven. I push the guilt away as I turn off the water and reach for my towel, I don't want to think about the way my words had hurt Steven. Later, after my heat is over I'll sit down with Steven and talk with him, make him understand. I walk into the bedroom to find Sasha stretched out on my bed with a magazine.

"Mum, Lana and Kyle are going to visit at Mitch and Jazzy's while we're there." Sasha says without glancing up. I have to smile, my youngest sister shares my strong sense of modesty while Lana had quickly become at ease with the casual nudity while changing forms.

"That will be nice," I comment as I get dressed.

"Mum said it's not often she gets to see all four grandsons together," Sasha announces.

"Steven will enjoy getting to spend time with his son," I say as I stretch out on the bed beside my sister. I playfully jostle her, pushing my head against hers as I try to look at the same page of the magazine as her. Sasha laughs and grabs the magazine to roll it up in her hand and bop me on the head, I give a soft growl and tickle her ribs making her squeal and kick at me.

"Speaking of Steven everything okay?" Sam asks from the doorway. "He just left here like someone lit a fire under his tail."

"Other than he is an arrogant, pig headed, testosterone driven male?" I ask dryly. "Nothing,"

"You shouldn't have flirted with him and Mikkarl then," Sam says evenly. I eye my brother up and down for a moment, it doesn't surprise me he has guessed the basics.

"The boys and I are packed to go! You?" I ask angrily as I get off the bed.

"Of course," Sam says evenly and walks to where my bags are waiting to be taken out to the vehicle.

"I'm not useless!" I snap grabbing up my two bags. "I can carry my own stuff!" My temper is simmering just below the surface and my brother's calm, even manner is getting on my nerves. I pause to grab my necklace and wedding ring from the dresser by the door, slipping the ring onto the long chain then slipping the chain over my head. The filigree work on the silver pendant and the ring are cool against the skin between my breasts as it rests close to my heart. I flick one hand under the thick long mane of hair that tumbles down my back, the ends curling thanks to it still being damp. For a moment I contemplate pulling it back with a hair-band but I dismiss the idea, liking the way it feels hanging down over my shoulders and back.

Outside the morning is still young and I pause at the top of the steps to look across the neat rolling green grass growing thickly on the hillside. I can see a small mob of kangaroos feeding at the very edge of the trees, soon they will retreat into the tree line for the day. I head down the steps and head for the three vehicles parked on the gravel driveway.

"Can I give you a hand?"

I glance at Clint where he is checking the oil level of the van with the child safety seats in it. Clint is watching me hopefully but I give a quick shake of my head as I put my bags into the boot of the van.

"I'm right thanks," I say brushing his enquiry aside.

"It's a nice day for travelling," he offers as he walks along the side of the car to where I am. I glance at him remembering that he and Sasha seem to be developing an interest in each other.

"Yes it is," I agree.

"I had better go see if anyone needs a hand to bring luggage out," Clint says, gives a slight nod and heads for the Homestead. I watch him walk away, he doesn't stand out in looks but he has been a hard working, loyal addition to my clan. The crunch of quick footsteps on gravel makes me turn my head and I see Steven stalking towards me briskly.

"Flirting with the tom your sister likes?" Steven asks sharply. I roll my eyes and look away. I don't want to get into an argument with him, I know he is still smarting over my earlier rebuff.

"Sam will be driving the van," I say evenly. "You, Clint and Brian can escort Sasha."

"The arrangements stay the way I made them until I change them!" Steven snaps tightly. "I am Chief Warrior and it is my job to protect you until Micah returns whether you like it or not!"

"I am not putting up with your surly mood!" I snap as I turn and walk away. I can hear him following me and excitement curls in my stomach as arousal throbs through my veins once again. My footsteps ring almost hollowly on the veranda and then I am inside out of the bright sunshine. Sam glances up from my sons' bedroom doorway and I send him a frown as I pause beside him.

"I swear, I am going to decapitate him!" I snarl before stalking in to retrieve my wallet off the top of a set of drawers. Wynn squeals and I pick him up, he nuzzles against my chest then pushes away from me with an irritable grizzle. Awareness prickles over me and I know Steven is in the doorway watching me but I refuse to look his way.

"Okay, this is the last of the stuff for the boys," Sam says. "Come on Terry, Dacey, you can carry your pillows."

"I'll put Wynn in his seat," I say and walk past Steven without looking at him. "I want to double check the adjustments to the five point harness."

"Sam a quick word," Steven says behind me.

Outside Wynn chuckles as a pair of butterflies dance over the flowerbeds. He claps his hands as he watches them then turns his head to look into my face.

"Flutterfly Momma! Flutterfly!" Wynn says excitedly.

"B. B. Butter. Butterfly," I say slowly and clearly.

"B flutterfly!" His childish laughter makes me join in and I am smiling as I stop beside the van. Mikkarl looks up from where he was adjusting the drivers seat of Steven's XR6. The sunlight glints off the fancy key ring that hangs from the keys in the ignition and it hits me, the solution of how to escape being in a vehicle with Steven during the trip to Mitchell and Jazzy's. A way to avoid any chance of being alone with Steven, to make sure I didn't give in to the urge to let him satisfy the escalating desires of my heat.

"Mikkarl can you come here and make sure Wynn's seat is buckled in properly? I should have thought to check before bringing him out here." I say forcing myself to smile and keep my tone even.

"Sure thing," Mikkarl agrees easily. "Got to keep our littlest clan member safe,"

"Sure do," I say glancing into the van to make sure nothing on my face gives away the rising nervousness inside me. I know I can do this. It's only a relatively short drive and I am more than capable of looking after myself. If I am clever I can even time my arrival to be just shortly before Micah's return, no chance of me succumbing to temptation.

I step aside so Mikkarl can lean into the van and check the seat. When he steps back and turns around with a smile I let him lift Wynn from my arms. A moment of fear for my son's safety hits me but I brush it aside, Wynn is perfectly safe with Mikkarl. I step back as Mikkarl turns towards the van, the gravel doesn't make a sound beneath my soft sneakers and stealthy steps. Just a few more steps as Wynn squeals and giggles in Mikkarl's face as he leans close to secure my son in safely.

I chew a piece of jerky as I sit on the bonnet of the car and watch the activity in the camping area below me. I had parked the car back in the shadows of the trees that covered the hillside above the Andrew Drynan Park several hours after leaving the Homestead. Three bags of food and water sit on the backseat but a burning restlessness has kept me on lookout duty on the bonnet.

Several families were scattered around the camping ground, adults lounging around in camping chairs while children run around screaming. The aromas of different evening meals cooking drift up from the grounds towards me and I pause in chewing my jerky for a moment. I watch the two large dogs running around in circles down near the creek as there owners come into view as they walk towards where there camp is down in one corner far from where I am. One dog keeps pausing and staring up towards the tree line as if it can feel my eyes on it but I have my doubts because of the distance.

A distant hum becomes a loud roar as a group of trail bikes comes into view on the road. Engines rev as the bikes slow down past the entrance of the park. Slowly their noise fades into the distance, a low throbbing roar that lingers in my blood long after the sound has ceased. I catch sight of a black and white willy wagtail where it sits on a branch not far from me scolding me in its high voice. It bobs and wriggles in its dance, it's thin tail wagging from side to side with the vigour of its motions. I lick my lips as I watch it and laugh softly when several little fairy wrens bob up and down inquisitively. The blue-headed male watches me, his head turning from side to side while the dull brown female sits nearby placidly. I track the movements of the wrens from the corner of my eyes as they dart around the branches. The willy wagtail moves onto a higher branch and I give a soft murmur when it flits away.

The coming sunset tinges the clouds with oranges as I slip from the bonnet of the car and head down towards the open ground at a walk. I cover the ground in easy steps unbothered by the odd stone here and there. The people are gathering at tents and fireplaces to eat and I move past them as I head down towards the creek on the other side of the road. My keen hearing can pick up the distance lowing of cattle and the melodic sound of running water. When I reach the waters edge I look across the clear stream in the deepening shadows and take a deep breath. I can smell the sharp scent of dog urine nearby and wrinkle my nose in distaste. I walk along the bank watching the water, looking for signs of any fish in the stream. I want to hunt, I don't want to eat food from packages. I want meat that tastes of life, not plastic or metal.

The deep throaty throb of a motor catches my attention and I stop as I turn my head and listen for a moment. I curse under my breath and head back the way I came but I have walked further than I had realised. I break into a run over the rough uneven ground, dodging bushes and leaping small boulders. I race along the worn track near a hole where people had been swimming and then up towards the road. I am just in time to see Steven's car speeding away from the park entrance and the New South Wales border.

"No!" I yell in disbelief. "Damn it! Damn it all to hell!" I hiss angrily as I watch the vehicle disappearing from sight. In the vehicle is my wallet and supply of food as well as the jumper I had bought to help keep warm over night.

"Oh hell," I mutter. "Steven is gonna kill me for sure now!"

For a moment I consider checking to see if any of my stuff had been thrown out of the vehicle but I know it is very unlikely. I glance up at the camp grounds but I have no wish to approach any of the people there so I turn and head so that I am walking towards the border of the two states and back in the direction I live. Night descends as I walk and soon I am watching for somewhere to spend the night. Not much further on the road runs through unfenced pasture and I have no intention of walking through a paddock with cattle in it in the dark at night. I find an old shed back away from the road filled with hay bales as well as loose hay. I climb to the top of the bales and carry some loose hay up until I have made myself a bit of a sheltered space to rest for the night. I strip my clothes off and change into my cat form before stretching out and lying down to sleep.

Sleep doesn't find me as I lay concealed in the shadows of the hayshed. My ears flicker back and forth as I listen to the sounds of the night fretfully. Cicadas sing in the trees lining the nearby creek and every now and then I lift my head to smell the night air. The dark forms of cattle move out in the open pasture as they graze in the moonlight, I feel saliva fill my mouth and I swallow hard. I fight back the need to feast on flesh still warm from life as I watch the moonlight glinting off the large horns of several beasts. The small forms of calves dart and weave among the adults and I move restlessly. As the eastern sky begins to lighten with the coming day I doze fitfully as little shudders tremble through my muscles.

The sound of magpies squabbling wakes me and I bound to my feet with an irritated snarl. Several magpies take flight from the tree out to the south of the hayshed and I growl as I watch them making their way to the trees by the stream. There are no cattle in sight as I leap down from my nest and brazenly stalk across the open ground towards the water. Somewhere in the back of my mind I am aware I am acting rashly but I don't care as I walk towards the rocky creek bed with loose swinging strides. I stop near a large tree and reach up with my front paws to scratch my mark deep into the bark before turning, raising my tail and spraying the trunk with urine.

The thick pungent smell fills the air and I move to the next tree to repeat the process. Deep in the back of my mind a voice tells me I should not be advertising my presence or my heat so openly and brashly in this area but the fullness of my heat urges me on. The rocks at the creek bank are cold and smooth in the early morning sun as I walk across them before wading into the water belly deep to lap at the cold water. I change to my human form as I stand in the water and lower myself into the running water seeking relief from the heat and tension humming in my body.

The icy cold water raises goose bumps on my flesh and makes my nipples bead into hard needful little buds. I sit on the streambed and scoop handfuls of water up to tip it over my shoulders letting it cascade down my body. I tip my head back as the heat inside me simmers making the cold of the water nearly unnoticeable. The need for sexual release consumes me and one of my hands finds its way down my body to the nest of curls between my thighs. I tremble and shudder beneath my dancing fingers, the sensations they tease forth are everything and not enough. I find myself crawling out of the water onto a large flat rock that is warming from the rays of the morning sun. I stretch out on the tepid surface as I shudder through an orgasm.

I rest for a few moments to catch my breath before I raise both hands to my breasts. I tease and twist my nipples with my fingers whimpering as my body flares to life once again. I slip a hand down between my thighs to play with my clit as I wriggle and writhe on the rock. My breath comes in desperate little pants as I struggle to find release, another orgasm ripples through me making me whimper and bite my bottom lip. My fingers don't stop and a third orgasm follows closely after the second. I stop for a few moments catching my breath before my fingers are busy on my breasts and clit once again. The juices of my desire coat the inside of my thighs and the rock beneath me is becoming slick from them. The pungent odour fills the air around me rising from the now warm rock as I shudder and twitch through more orgasms.

"Well I'll be ..." The voice startles me and I look up from where I lay on my warm rock. At first I only see his silhouette as I look up through the haze of my need. Slowly he moves closer, I can hear him taking deep breaths, I know he can smell my heat, my need. I see his face clearly as he comes to a halt at my feet, his eyes are huge and dark from lust as he gazes down at me.

"Please ..." I whimper. Please leave me? Please help this burning ache inside me? I'm not sure what I am begging for, what I want.

I struggle as he descends on me, I roll onto my stomach as I try to crawl away. Or am I merely making it easier for him to get me onto my hands and knees as he frees himself from his jeans? I don't know which it is, I only know the relief his physical possession brings as he enters me. Inside my head a little voice is chanting 'Micah I'm sorry' over and over as I bite my bottom lip and push back against him, my body needing his in the lust of my heat.

They say you don't hear the sound of the gunshot that kills you. I guess it's true. I didn't hear the vehicle or the sound of tyres in gravel until afterwards. I didn't feel the pain either, well not at first. I had been running from Drew, my shame, my self-loathing. It only took less than half a second, Micah calling to me through our connection, telling me he was home.

"Honey I'm home!"

The instant I had felt him in my mind, felt his call ... I had known whatever the outcome, whatever came of my stupid mistake, we could work through it. There was nothing our love could not over come. Not even my arrogant, stupid, misplaced sense of being able to look out for myself on my own. Just for a moment I must have been distracted, just a fraction of a second, that's all it had taken to miss hearing the vehicle that had hit me.

A large black cat comes into view, a thin silver thread glints between us in the night. The silver thread pulses softly as his strength flows from him into me. He stands nearly motionless in the dark, only a slightly tremble in the muscular front shoulders and haunches reveal he is no statue. Slowly his head drifts lower, he jerks it up but it is clear the effort costs him. Gracefully he lowers himself down to lie on his stomach, his front legs stretched out. Gradually his chin lowers to rest on them. If I had been able I would have looked away but my sight is gone and my strength is failing, only his strength and life force flowing into me holds me here. And I can feel him slowly growing weaker.

"I love him," the words echo on a sob in my head. "I can't do this to him." A gentle hand strokes my shoulder. I can't see it, can't feel it, but a child knows the touch of a parent.

Do you want to live? Her words come out as a purr and I long to turn my head towards the beautiful cat I know is my mother, but here in my human body I am unable to move.

Suddenly I want to tell her that I don't want to die but I don't want to live at the cost of Micah's life. I don't want to see him die but I have trouble even just getting the words to form in my damaged brain. There is no way I can voice the words. I'd rather die than cause him one more moment of pain or anguish.

I feel Jeddah's sorrow and feel her looking into my sightless eyes, looking into my soul. I feel her searching my mind, I know the exact moment she becomes aware of the small flickering life beneath my heart that is struggling to survive in my weakening body.

Which life do you value more?

I long to cradle and hold the small life inside me as love for my child wells up inside me. A feeling of understanding flows into me, Jeddah understands, my mother once felt this deep unconditional love for her children. The memory of another's hands on my body flashes through my mind leaving the pain of my betrayal.

Micah will understand ... The words drift through my mind unbidden.

"But I'll never forgive myself." If I were able to I would cry out the words as the pain from the thought crosses my mind. No, I will never forgive myself for stealing this chance of fatherhood from Micah. The first kitt to be born into our marriage should come from our love not from the lust of my heat. Suddenly I am desperate for this link between us to be severed so Micah never has an inkling of my betrayal.

Do it now, do it now, do it now, I chant the thought in my head.

At first there is just a slight sense of a slight weight lifting and then I become aware I am no longer connected to Micah. There is nothing left but a void where he once was. Gradually I begin to feel my body once more. My breath comes in shallow pants as my body struggles to continue to breathe, survive. Insects crawl on my skin, making it itch but the most disconcerting of all is the pressure that slowly builds in my head. Just like the thick headedness of tiredness at first, but it quickly escalates to searing pain and pressure that makes me believe my head could burst.

I struggle to remain calm, to be brave, but fear grows inside me. I know I am dying, but I don't want to die alone.

You are not alone my child. Your mother and I will stay by your side. Harry's voice fills me, soothes me, but the pain of Micah's absence within me lingers.

I don't know how long I lay there struggling to live as I slowly die. Despite the terrible damage to my head I am cognitive as I drift in and out. I know the shadowy forms beside me are not merely ghosts of memories, they are the essence of two beings who once existed as I do for now. Gradually it becomes harder to breathe and the educated part of me knows it is due to severe blood loss and swelling around my brain. My awareness begins to grow foggy and I am lost in memories of climbing trees, laughing with the abandon only a child secure in a parents love can.

I come around after having drifted into unconsciousness, I become aware that I can hear and smell more clearly, that I can feel my body properly once more.

"Here, let me moisten your lips," For a moment I don't recognise his voice, and then it all floods back.

My heat. Him. Us. Running from the horror of what I had done ...

Mother? I seek her reassurance in my terror. The word echoes in my mind and surprises me as I try to turn my head in search of her. I sense her presence and then her reassurance washes over me without a sound.

"What does this mean?" The words don't leave my lips but I feel them reach her. Feel her smile in my mind as she strokes feather light fingers across one side of my face.

I am sorry, the powers that be have decided to ensure you live ... Jeddah's words wash over me. The knowledge I have lost my bond with Micah, that he must believe I am dead overwhelms me. The fact that a male has found me and what that means... Everything in me shudders at the thought of a male other than Micah touching me. I know from my own experience he will not be content to hand me back to my family. He is a stray, a rover/a wanderer. I can smell it on him.

I don't want to live if I am to be with him, I can't, not knowing how it was to be with Micah ...

I feel cool hands cup my face. I feel, I sense, Jeddah peering into the eyes of my soul. There are no words as she searches to make sure I mean what I say. The pads of her thumbs brush back and forth against my temples as if she could ease the terrible pain in my head.

I loved you from the moment I sensed I was carrying you ... For a moment the image of a face like mine, eyes like mine, filled with love and wonder gazing down into my eyes forms in my mind. Harry laughing as he swings me at age three onto his shoulders as I stop and look around as the unmistakable musky odour of werecat fills my senses. How I had looked around with interest. Scenes from my childhood and teenage years flit through my thoughts, happy memories, none of the fear and pain that had seemed to fill my life all too often.

Only the good for you my daughter...

Some of my first glimpses of Pete as a werecat, the thrill of knowing I wasn't alone. Living where I could roam my mountain, Mount Warning, at will, those good times in college and my friendship with Lilly but always returning to my house beneath the mountain that felt like my home. That first time I had seen Micah, our first kiss as I had stood at my vehicle. Mitchell and Sam, the strong pull that was there from the first time I had seen them. Jazzy and the toms flit through my mind nearly too fast for me to recognise. My three boys - Terry, Dacey and Wynn's, their faces smiling up at me so trustingly. The white diamond on Terry's chest, the way Dacey had developed of climbing up my side, Wynn's smoky eyes his first time as a werecat ... Micah's face as I had gazed into his eyes on our wedding day ... I am lost gazing into the depths of his eyes.

I gave you life, now I give you the only gift I have left ... peace.

White-hot pain pierces my head between those thumbs at my temples and I hear my whimper echo around my mind. My scream wells up in my throat but I can't make a sound as the pain flashes through my brain like a bolt of white light. I suck in a breath to scream out my agony but I can hear nothing over my heart pounding in my ears. I feel a coolness brush against my forehead, almost as if someone had kissed me. The pain stops abruptly and the image in my mind is of Micah's eyes smiling into mine. I feel him curl his body against my back as he spoons me, his arms slip around my ribs holding me. Suddenly I am no longer scared as I lay cocooned in his arms, gazing into his eyes ... I feel my heart beat once, twice ...