A/N: a story of self-discovery through fictional text messages. I just wanted this to be sort of heart-warming because that's usually what I like in life. So that's what I went for. so the "me" person is based on how I see myself as I don't any character as well as I know ..it's weird. The asking out thing was a last minute thing....well just read

11:00 PM
Me: Hey, u up?
Sky: Of course

Me: Do you ever just try to sleep and thoughts float around your head. Like they won't stop no matter what you do.

Sky: That happens to me all the time, dude

Me: It's happening to me right now

Sky: What are you thinking about, then? It helps to talk to other people, to let it all out and shit

Me: I am thinking about oblivion

Sky: What? Dude, are you okay?

Me: Yeah, I am okay. Not in the depressed sense. In the curious way. Like what will I leave behind when I am gone.

Sky: I am sure I will just leave a bunch of empty pizza boxes, dirty laundry and ton of books XD
Me: Well, that's what I am worried about. What if all I leave is just trash? People remember me as the trash girl who even in death left trash? I was thinking about what people will think of me and whatever I leave behind. What will you think of me?

Sky: It's hard to think about your death, dude. I am just gonna tell you what I think about you right now. You are a crazy chick who takes no bs from anyone. When I first met you I thought you were a very shy and naive person but boy was I wrong. You have a very dirty brain which makes me laugh about toilet humor and literal shit

Me: :)
Sky: What will you think? Of yourself?

Me: I don't know. I spend so much time thinking what other people think of me that I don't think about myself that often........I think that the person I was in life could have been better if I did not second guess myself so much

Sky: I agree with that but I don't want you to see your faults. I want to know what you think of yourself. If you were a person you were watching from say like a distance, like 24/7 reality TV l. What would you think about yourself?

...
Me: I....

Sky: Take a deep breath and think :)

Me: Well, I'll see a girl who likes to read books. A girl who was obsessed with Skyrim and fell asleep every night thinking of different AUs about Skyrim.

Sky: I was the one that got you into it and you loved it more than me

Me: Yeah....I see a girl who loves blue. A girl who is afraid of riding escalators because she fell down from one when she was six. A girl who doesn't like pink because her mother had a obsession with the color so much that every damn wall in the house was pink

Sky: I remember that...poor mister cuddles was dyed pink by your mom

Me: Yeah, at least now she is content in being her original color

Sky: and damn that cat looks cool with her natural black. And green eyes. Every time I come to your eyes she gives me grim reaper vibes

Me: XD

Me: A girl who loves to read books and the one and only who took a stack of books with her, considering them her most precious possession when a earthquake came

Sky: I remember that and you also spent quite sometime searching for your slippers while everybody else panicked

Me: Yeah and it was shame that I still didn't manage to find my slippers

Sky: a girl who get ideas for stories and books in dreams and whenever she goes to the to bathroom. Who keeps a pen and paper or her phone handy to jot down notes. She who dreamed a horrible dream where a giant ape was chasing her and turned it into a mystery novel

Me: Yeah I remember that. But for the record I loved that ape, Mr. Bananas may have been truly Bananas but he was cute

Sky: a girl who finds cuteness in the most terrifying of things

Me: Not always. I don't find u cute XD

Sky: That was unfair. Hump

Me: ok, OK, I was kidding. No need to get moody and sassy

Sky: You better be kidding

Me: Let's continue. A girl who loves art. Who transformed her scribbles into paintings of the whole marvel cinematic universe

Sky: Yeah, you whole wall is full of handmade posters of them. Sometimes I think I am not in ur room but in endgame instead

Me: :) Shame you didn't disappear with the snap XD

Me: A girl who was afraid of speaking to other people but once she does she doesn't stop. A girl who loved playing GTA because it was open world and took her far away from her own life and alps because she could blow up cars

Sky: don't forget the Sims. You played it a lot and you killed my character because he had low hygiene. Puff

Me: Well, that is accurate to real life. You smell nasty.

Sky: Hey

Me: OK Ok, did I hit a spot?

Sky: .....

Me: A girl who loves singing along to songs. Who loves slow music and a bit of soft rock

Sky: Yeah mainly Sufjan Stevens, James Arthur, cavetown, dodie, George Ezra, Billie Eilish and what was thar song? Can't help falling in love, yep a girl who is obsessed with it

Me: Yeah, yeah. I like a lot of artists and their
music. So what?

Sky: It's just that most people like one or two artists exclusively

Me: Well, it's hard to choose from so may great artists and I don't really want anyone to feel left out. So I have lots and lots of favourites

Sky: Maybe that is why you can never really give a short answer when someone asks you who your favorite artist is. Your answer is a list of the whole music industry

Me: That's an exaggeration. Say close to hundred. XD

Sky: And the same goes with books. You like John Green, Rainbow Rowell, J.K. Rowling, Jane Austen, Angie Thomas, Markus Zusak and I don't even remember

Me: You forgot Hank Green

Sky: Yeah him.

Me: I just like to keep my options open. I don't want to be defined as a girl who only likes this and hates that. I don't want myself to be one dimensional. I want to be a girl who likes this and this and this but doesn't really hate anything. Who do this but also does that

Sky: Damn, girl that was deep

Me: I am just really passionate about this

Sky: I can tell

Me: Now that I think about it I have so many escape mechanisms in my life. I don't like my life at all

Sky: I can relate to that

Me: But I am too scared or lazy to get the life I want because it will take a long time and still even if I try my hardest I might not get the life I want

Sky: I feel you

Me: Do you ever feel scared of trying because it might result in failure?

Sky: All the time but doesn't stopped me from trying. Failure is the worst case scenario but the worst worst case scenario is giving up before even trying. Trying means that you didn't give up even though you were scared. You made it through that fear and on the other side. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose, all that matters is that you try.

Me: ....Thanks, I really really needed that

Sky: also one more thing. Don't think a bit what people think of you, because they are too busy thinking about what everyone thinks of them. They won't really think about you because they are equally self conscious.

Me: Damn, Sky when did you become so intelligent?

Sky: I have always been this intelligent, you just
never noticed

Me: Say that to your SAT scores

Sky: Again with that! I told you I suck at Math

Me: But you're so damn intelligent

Sky: I am intelligent on a social level not on whatever the hell is going on in that quadratic thing

Me: Okay, okay I won't tease you now

Me: Damn, is it really 4:00 AM?

Sky: Seems like it

Me: Thanks, man. I needed this. Thanks for talking with me.

Sky: The pleasure is mine. But if you're free would you like to go out for coffee later today...
Sky: Like on a date

Sky: I..I really really really like the girl who is so many things simultaneously. Who has oceans inside her head, as she swims from one shore to another simultaneously. A girl who is not afraid to speak her mind. A girl who makes my heart flutter. A girl who makes me smile. A girl who is not afraid to tease me about anything. A girl who loves watching touching movies but cries the hardest blaming the directors for making her cry. A girl who cannot sleep without her blanket. Who was afraid of the dark but has gotten used to it. A girl I really really really like

Me: Oh..., you do know how to flirt. How could I say no to that? I'm in. And for the record, I really really really like the boy who stayed up all night with me and just talked through bullshit with me

Sky: Really? And for the record that was not bullshit :)

Me: Good night, sleep tight

Sky: good night, and don't sleep late. I am gonna pick you up at 11. Sweet dreams.