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.....

If he only knew things would end up like that, he wouldn't have...

If only he knew...

Kakashi! 

Which would be better? This shirt or that one?

He could have spent more time with him. 

He could have hung out with him more. 

Well, Kakashi...

It looks like your losing. Well then, let me end your misery. 

He could have pretended losing more in your games.

Be it shogi, mahjong, or a simple game of cards. 

If you just finish this paperwork before nightfall, you could have gone home already.

Instead, you're reading erotic books? 

He could have wasted all the time he had.

So he'd worry about him more. 

It's really nice to be free, isn't it?

You can do anything you want to be.

He could have held his hand more. 

Saying that he will support him no matter what. 

It must be nice being smart and strong. 

You won't have to overthink. Just do. 

He could have pushed his back.

Bracing against adversaries together. 

But instead...

Lord Sixth? Have you seen [Male Name]?

He hasn't been here since six days ago. 

Lord Sixth. It's about your assistant, [Male Name].

He's not answering his phone lately. Is there something wrong?

The unexpected, the unimaginable, the unwanted. 

It came crashing in like a truck on steroids. 

K-Kakashi! It's about your assistant!

His neighbours began smelling something foul from his apartment.

And when they came in to investigate...

He... He...

[Male Name] never shared his own pain and suffering; he always paid more attention to him. Save for that one time, he never showed a sad face. He always shined with a smile. 

When Lord Sixth rushed from his office down to the apartment building several blocks down, a sight he never wanted to see again waited for him. 

First, it was his father. Next, Obito. Then, Rin followed. His teacher was the fourth. It was lucky enough that Gai didn't join the fiasco. 

But the same luck didn't visit [Male Name]. Seeing his friend cold and lifeless, dangling on his living room thanks to a makeshift rope made out of scarves knitted together. He thought no one had to die anymore. The world has become more peaceful than it was tens or even hundreds of years ago. 

Kakashi fell mad. Mad at himself. He was the closest one to the male. He was always the first in mind when the other wanted to hang out, to waste time. He should have realised there was odd with the strained smiles and blank eyes he witnessed from time to time. He should have. 

The service lasted for four days. People from within and outside the village shared their condolences, especially to the Hokage who stood in despair, every single time, in front of the coffin his friend was in, whenever he was there. 

A day of the discovery of [Male Name]'s body, Kakashi returned to the scene and found a diary underneath a pillow. It was worn out and filled from cover to cover. It had a lot of information, from the owner's failure in walking on water to the owner's grief about not being able to support anyone during the Fourth Shinobi World War. 

He was very determined to help. However, there was a restriction. 

He wasn't a ninja. 

He never succeeded in his Ninjutsu lessons. If there was an achievement, it would be [Male Name] embarrassing himself in escalating levels. He couldn't even hold a kunai properly without getting injured. 

He later focused his attention elsewhere, hoping he could forget the tears he shed and screams he yelled. Sadly for him, selling fruits, knitting hats, or delivering mail wasn't enough to fill the void. In the end, he tried to get close to the job he wanted, despite not really being able to throw a shuriken properly. He applied to be one of the administrative staff for the new Hokage. 

Later, Kakashi recognised the male while the latter was busy organising some books in a shelf. In the Hokage's eyes, the previously timid and lonely kid became a bright and cooperative adult. 

As a child and before his father's death, he tried to close the gap between him and [Male Name], feeling sad every time he saw the latter kicking stones on a riverside all by himself. However, when the tragedy fell, he also lost view of everything around him, and he was mentally cursing himself for that. 

It was only when he became a Jounin when he heard about [Male Name]'s current status: a dropout of the Ninja Academy and an errand boy of various shops and stalls in Konoha. Still, he had no motivation to approach the male. 

Now that he had everything settled, now that he had grown more mature, he wanted to continue what he wanted to do. 

So, he asked [Male Name] to be his personal assistant. Little by little, he had grown attached to the male. Never did he realise that the kid whom he saw with no one back then was actually an interesting person. The way he laughed, the way he scolded, the way he pouted, and the way he smiled, they always made the Copy Ninja's days brighter, though he really didn't admit it to anyone. 

"Kakashi-sensei... Did you expect this to happen?" It was Naruto. 

"He never told me anything, even after I told him everything I had," the male grieved, biting his lower lip in agony. "If only I paid closer attention."

During the actual burial, not so many people were there. It was only those the deceased's workmates, some acquaintances, and Kakashi who sent [Male Name] off. Even then, Kakashi tried his best to stay strong, though he miserably failed. 

.....

In [Male Name]'s stead, Shizune stood as Lord Sixth's assistant until the latter's departure. 

No one expected that it took years before Kakashi was able to return to his old self. From time to time, he did visit the friend's grave, contemplating on why the latter never said a word to him. He would end up shedding tears at the end, but he also spoke to the grave. 

He would never let the same thing happen again. 

If there would be other people around him who could be potentially hiding things that should be better off shared, he will make it happen.

Though it may be out of character for him, he'll lend an ear, a shoulder, and make time. 

Just so it would never occur once more. 

.....

1,074 words (Achievement unlocked)