Jasper

I'm desperately trying to play it cool. Who would have thought I'd actually feel sparks when I kissed her? Is this why it was so important I had her as a friend? Did my heart somehow know deep down that this would happen?

It takes everything in me to walk out the door and back to the party. What I want is to kiss her all fucking day long. Wrap myself up in her and enjoy the moment because once this party is over, I'll certainly get a fist to the face.

I planned for him to draw Malia's name, but I hadn't planned for the fifteen minutes in heaven dare. I only asked him to fake like he pulled her name because I needed to have some time with her.

It didn't matter what anyone said, today I won something big. I won feelings for my sister's best friend.

Fuck me. I'm so fucking screwed.

I make it a point to ignore Malia for the rest of the party. I don't want Blair getting suspicious. I know she's confused. I'm confused too. I have no idea where to go from here, and I know I have to at least try to respect my sisters wishes.

As the party winds down and the people start to leave, I grasp the hand of a random brown haired girl and pull her to the dance floor. A slow song is playing, so I pull her against me and close my eyes.

In my mind, I'm dancing with Malia. Everything is perfect and Blair doesn't care that I like Malia. I hold the girl tightly, inhaling her scent as my nose buries in her hair.

Somehow, she even smells like Malia. I don't know if it's my mind playing tricks on me or what, but this feels so real.

"Meet me in my room tonight." I whisper.

The girl pulls away and I open my eyes.

Shit. It isn't Malia.

"I'm afraid that's not possible Jasper. Although, I would certainly love that."

I fake a sad smile.

"That's too bad."

I watch as she walks away and then I scan what's left of the crowd for Malia. I can't seem to find her. Blair comes up beside me and huffs.

"Stop looking for my friend. She doesn't want to talk to you. I don't know what happened in that room, but this changes nothing. She's still off limits." She's angry and I can't blame her. If I were her, I would be angry too.

Did Malia tell her she didn't want to talk to me? Did I fuck everything up kissing her?

My heart starts to pound violently in my chest and I walk away before Blair can notice just how panicked I feel. Everything I felt last night is washing over me again. Choosing her was supposed to fix everything, not make it worse.

I walk around the side of the house to be alone, and it's then that I see a guy pushing Malia against the house. It looks like she's trying to get away, but he won't let her go.

My blood boils and I run over to them. No one can touch her like this. No one but me.

I yank him off her and punch him three times in the face. Malia is screaming at me to stop.

"Don't fucking touch her." I yell.

"What the fuck Jasper?" Blair says, coming around the side of the house.

Malia looks from me to Blair and back again.

"Jasper just saved me Blair. This guy wouldn't leave me alone and I tried to push him away, but he was too strong. If it wasn't for Jas I don't know what would have happened."

I swallow and force myself to walk away. I want to do a whole lot more to that guy. Rage is burning deep inside me.

My phone pings in my pocket and I pull it out quickly.

How was the party? Wanna meet up tonight? Practice is over at 7. -C

This is just the distraction I need. Besides, I need to let her down gently. Apparently Malia was wrong when she said it was over.

Sure. See ya around 7:30. -J

When I'm done helping clean up everything after the party, I retreat back to my room.

Sitting on my bed, I think about everything that happened today. This year was actually a really good party. Four people were unable to complete their dares so we crowned four losers, Blair being one of them. We danced, we even got to enjoy a live band.

I have yet to open any presents, but right now I could care less about that. Right now all I can think about is Malia's mouth on mine. It lights me up inside. I don't think I've ever been that turned on kissing a girl. Yet that's all it was. Just kissing a girl.

That girl. The girl.

My heart felt so full in those moments. Everything else just washed away and it was just us there in my room. I wonder if she feels the same way about it. I wonder if she likes it as much as I did. Her whimpers seemed to say she did.

Hearing her say my name like that is so damn heady I feel like I'm on top of the world. I want to feel that way again. I want to hear my name on her lips so seductively like that once more.

Just thinking about it has me rock solid again. Fuck. I'm going to have a permanent stiffy whenever she's around.

I close my eyes, laying back on the bed and picturing it as if it's happening anew. I can feel her body pressed against mine. I'm so damn screwed.

I try to resolve the boner, unable to even get anywhere because all it wants is her. I can picture and feel it so perfectly, yet I still can't seem to get off. I should have allowed myself to do so earlier, instead of stopping every time I got close.

I had been afraid that if I let it happen she would be horrified. Now I just wish I had. I can't go see Cami with a damn tent in my pants. That would certainly send the wrong message.

I strip down to my boxers and wrap a towel around my waist, pushing out my door for the bathroom. A cold shower will solve this.

I can hear Blair yelling at Malia in the bedroom across from mine, but I can't make out the words. I step closer, listening.

"Tell me what happened in that room Malia."

"I told you, nothing happened. We just banged around on the walls and faked out moans so the emcee would believe it. It was awkward really, staring at your brother while faking a moan."

Good girl. That's my girl.

"I don't believe you. You came out of there with your face all red and a permanent blush for the rest of the party. What did he do to you? Tell me now so I can beat his fucking ass."

Blair was seething mad. I was almost afraid. Suddenly I was thankful I was going to see Cami. It would take all the suspicion off me.

"Jeez Blair. Seriously. Nothing happened. And you know what? Even if something did happen- which it didn't- it wouldn't mean anything."

Well, that will knock a guy down a peg.

My heart starts to pound inside my chest and I know it's time for me to walk away. I guess I got my answer. This afternoon had meant nothing to her. That's too bad, because it meant everything to me.

I want to cry as I step into the shower. Not just because it meant nothing, but also because the water is so damn cold my teeth are chattering. It seems to do the trick though.

I step out, basically a giant ice cube and quickly dry off. I hustle to wrap the towel around my waist and get out of here. I'm so ready to go drown my sorrows it's unreal.

Malia is standing outside the door. I jump and grip the towel harder. Her eyes run down the course of my body and back up again.

Fuck. So much for that cold shower.

I quickly side step her, running to my room before she can see the effect she has on me. The last thing I need is her knowing I get a hard-on from just her looking at me.

"Jas." She calls out. I ignore her.

I hear her sigh just as I close the door.

I rush to put on clothes, spritzing myself with cologne before making my way out of the room. Blair is standing in her doorway waiting.

"Where are you going?" Blair asks.

"I have a date with Cami." I say, hoping that it clears the air between us.

It doesn't.

"When you get home we need to have a serious talk. I mean it Jas." Blair's hands are positioned on her hips and her face is a mask of anger.

"Sure sis. Whatever."

I walk past her and glance into her room. Malia is sitting there staring at the wall. I have the urge to go to her and kiss her senseless, but that obviously cannot happen.

I quickly look away and make my way down the stairs. Before I can get out the door, my phone pings.

Can you take me home? -M

That's really gonna piss Blair off.

Yeah. Is everything okay? I thought you were staying until tomorrow. -J

I stand waiting for her reply by the front door. Only moments later it comes.

I'll be down in five. -M

I can hear shouting at the top of the stairs and I know Blair is loosing her shit. She probably thinks this is some kind of conspiracy theory for me to take Malia on a date.

"I don't want to stay B. You're angry with me and I haven't done anything wrong. Just stop letting into me before I walk away for good. I can't do this with you today." Malia shouts.

I cringe at those words.

Please don't walk away for good.

"You can't ever do this with me. It's always an excuse. What the hell is so bad in your life that you can't even talk to me about it huh? I know you only want to leave because Jas is going off with Cami. You were perfectly fine until he said that. News flash Malia, that secret crush you have on him, he will never return those feelings. Not ever."

I feel like I should go up there and break this up, but I'm frozen to my spot.

"This has nothing to do with Jas and you know it. You haven't stopped yelling at me since the party ended. You think I want to sit around here being yelled at because you're so damn jealous you can't bear to share me with anyone? News flash B, I have more friends than you. You aren't the center of my world."

I can hear the sadness in Malia's voice and I know that statement isn't true.

"Fuck you Malia. Just leave. That's what you're good at."

A door slams and then Malia comes rushing down the stairs. She's crying and I want to take her in my arms so badly it's overwhelming. Instead, I open the door and let her walk out ahead of me.

I start the car and look over at her. She's still crying. I reach across the center console and grasp her hand in mine.

"Blair will calm down and everything will be okay." I say, hoping to ease some of the sadness within her.

"I know." She sniffles.

I let go of her hand and drive her home in silence. I hate seeing her like this, and I don't have any idea what to say.

When I pull up at her house, she hesitates at the door. Her tear stained face turns to me.

"You should probably tell your girlfriend we made out. It isn't fair to her at all. If I knew she was still in the picture than none of that would have ever happened."