Malia

I was in awe. Who knew Jasper Jacobs could produce such magic with just his voice and his fingertips. It was breathtaking. Moving. Life changing.

But who was that girl? Was it me? When did he write it? How long has he had feelings for me?

I had no idea the answers to these questions, but the one thing I did know- I had just fallen even more in love with him. Hopelessly, irrevocably in love with him.

The look on his face while he played- he loves it. He basks in it. The music is a part of him. I want to feel the way he feels when he plays his music. I want that same joy that spreads over him as he looses himself in song.

"Jasper I mean it, that was truly amazing." I say, laying my head on his chest.

His heart is beating fast, a long drawn out thump followed by quick repetitive thumps.

I let my fingers trail across his stomach to the exposed skin around his waistband. His shirt had risen up, showing off his perfect abs when I knocked him to the sand.

"Thanks sweetness." He murmurs. "It's one of my most treasured ways to pass the time. Probably the only thing I've truly enjoyed for a while now. I'm really glad I could share it with you."

We lay in silence for a while, him holding tightly to my waist while I play with his rock hard abs. It's amazing being with him like this. I forget all about my troubles with Blair.

"Can I ask you something Malia?" He asks.

I can hear his heart speeding up again. I lean back on my elbow, gazing up at him in the pale moonlight. The ocean swells around us, the only sounds the crashing waves as they pull the tide into shore. The white light spills across his face, the shadows contouring his elegant features.

Dear God he's beautiful.

"Anything." I breathe.

A slow smile spreads across his face as he too leans on his elbow to face me.

"Why didn't you answer Blair's question?"

Anything but that.

"What question?" I ask, knowing exactly what question he is referring to.

"Do you love me Malia? Have you loved me all along and I was just blind to it?" He bites down on his lower
lip, the tell all sign that he's nervous.

"I didn't answer because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings." I say, opting for the truth.

I didn't want to hurt Blair's feelings.

"What if I told you I wanted to be with you- for real, no games?" He bites his lower lip again and I reach up to pull it from between his teeth.

I can't think while he's doing that. I can't even seem to breathe. My fingers linger, tracing the outline of his mouth with my thumb.

Did he just say what I think he said?

"It isn't smart to go there Jas. Can't us being friends be enough?" I jerk my hand away, looking back out to the ocean. It's black in the moonlight, almost scary like it's depths are a gateway to death and destruction.

I already know the answer.

No.

"What if we were made for each other? What if I love you?"

He loves me?

My inner cheerleader is at the top of the pyramid, preparing for a dismount. She throws her pompoms in the air and cries out, I love you too!

But it isn't enough.

"Jas, please." I say, knowing that it can't ever go farther than this, no matter how much I want it to.

"Friends don't kiss the way we do Malia." He says, pain evident in his voice. I want so badly to erase that pain.

"I love kissing you Jas. I love being with you, here like this. I'm even considering doing this on a regular basis- but this, this is all it's ever gonna be between us." It's all I can do to say these words. So untrue yet so real. I could never sacrifice my friendship for a what if.

"So the answer is no then." He sits up, digging the toe of his shoe into the sand. He almost looks like he expected this answer. I fight the urge to scream YES! THE ANSWER IS YES! at the top of my lungs.

I have no idea what to say. He just offered me exactly what I've been wanting for seven years, and stupidly I turn him down.

"I'm sorry." I finally say unable to find any other words.

He's quiet for several moments, then he looks at me and smiles. That panty dropping, gut wrenching smile.

"It's okay Malia. I'll take you however I can have you for now. Besides, I have the rest of our lives to prove it to you that I think we would be great together. You can't resist all this forever." He grins and makes a motion down his body.

I punch him on the shoulder and laugh.

"You're too cocky for your own good."

Jasper makes a noise in his throat. It's manly and deep. It sends shivers through my body straight to my core.

"Yes sweetness, my cock is very good."

Oh my.

I turn away, hiding the blush on my cheeks. I swallow, unable to retort.

I'll bet it is.

Jasper grabs my hand and brings it to his lips, laying a gentle kiss to the back of it. He yanks, forcing me to look at him again. I can only hope that the blush on my cheeks has faded.

"Want to watch the sunrise with me?" He asks, laying back on the blanket.

"The sun doesn't rise for three more hours." I say, laying back down beside him.

"I guess we'll just have to find something to pass the time then." He wriggles his eyebrows and gives me a sexy smile.

"How about you play me another song." I say, sitting up with an emotionless expression on my face.

"One more." He says, sitting back up and picking up his guitar again.

He immediately starts playing, and I instantly recognize the song. I know exactly why he has picked it. It symbolizes everything we've been through together.

"Breathe in for luck,
Breathe in so deep,
This air is blessed,
You share with me.
This night is wild,
So calm and dull,
These hearts they race,
From self control.
Your legs are smooth,
As they graze mine,
We're doing fine,
We're doing nothing at all."

I join in the song and sing with him. It's probably the single most happiest moment of my life. Scratch that, it is the single most happiest moment of my life. Nothing, and I mean nothing at all compares.

"My hopes are so high,
That your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
To break or bury,
Or wear as jewelry,
Whichever you prefer."

His voice takes on a lighter tone as he starts the second verse, and I watch him sing so passionately. His eyes are pressed closed tightly, and his face is a mask of pure happiness.

"The words are hushed lets not get busted;
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe from the hour and all the stupid questions
"Hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear
So we can get some."

I join back in with him, screaming out the chorus as I lay my hand softly on his knee.

"My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry,
Whichever you prefer."

We both go into the ending verse, looking into each other's eyes as we sing our hearts out.

"Hands down this is the best date I can ever remember,
Always remember, the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights,
The scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
And this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
And let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
And you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it,
That you meant it, and I knew,
That you meant it, that you meant it."

He sets the guitar back down, pulling me into his lap and tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"That Malia, is our song. I only wish that I had written it for you." His lips meet the corner of my mouth and my heart swells so tightly I feel like it might burst right here, right now.

"I don't care Jasper. God you know me so well. How do you know me so well?" I'm flabbergasted at how deep that truly goes. He's the only person who ever cared to look deep enough despite my insistence to keep it hidden.

"Years and years of observing you like a science project. Now that I say it out loud, it doesn't sound very sexy at all." He laughs, and I join in, falling back to the sand with him.

His arms wrap around my waist, holding me tightly to him, and I know that no matter what, Jasper is it for me.

The only problem is, I can't have him.

If Blair really loves me, she'll want me to be happy won't she? Even if it means that Jasper is what makes me happy?

We lay, huddled together kissing, until the soft orange glow starts to peak over the horizon. It is only then, that we let go of each other and watch the sunrise.

"This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life." I whisper, awed at the way the orange, yellow, and pinks blend together to form a curtain of beauty behind and over the pale blue ocean.

"Yeah, it is."

I turn to Jasper and he's staring at me, with no inhibitions, and I know that he isn't talking about the sunrise, he's talking about me.