5...30...42... I think to myself as I put in the combination for my locker. I tug on it harder and harder each time, but every day it just gets more difficult to open. The hallway's empty except for the kid's in my last class. My science teacher always lets us out five minutes early, but no one tells her. I mean, I have an excuse not to at least.

I glance up and down the hallway to see anyone who might be able to help, but no one's there that I feel comfortable going up to. I try again with my impossible locker and tug on it as hard as I can, but I fail. I start to get nervous that I'm not going to be able to open my locker, and I'll miss the bus, and I'll have to call Chester, and then I'll have to wait for him to pick me up, and what if it starts raining and he's not there? Oh gosh, do I have an umbrella? My palms start to sweat, and I wipe them on my jeans. Okay, clear your mind, it's going to be okay. Try one more time. I twist and pull, and finally the locker door pops open. I sigh, relieved of all the anxiety filled thoughts I was thinking a second ago. As kids start to file out of their classrooms, I turn and put my books down next to me.

Slam! I'm afraid to turn back around. I just know my locker's closed. I just know they're standing right behind me. I don't want to look, but I have to. I have to. I turn reluctantly.

"Was that your locker?" Ava's standing there with Meg and Nat right by her side. She know's it's my locker, but she's acting dumb. She is dumb, but that's besides the point. "Was it?" she persists, a cocky undertone in her voice. I look sheepishly down at the ground. I know I shouldn't. I should stand tall and face them courageously, but I can't help but look down.

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" Meg asks.

"Shut up, Meg," Ava elbows her.

"Yeah, Shut up, Meg," Nat elbows her even harder. The three of them stand there for a couple of minutes. I see Lara pass by but she's deep in conversation with some other girl and doesn't see me. The three of them stare me down without leaving, and now it's more awkward than intimidating. Grace, whose locker is next to mine, or more importantly the one they're blocking, taps Ava on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," she says and Ava whips her horribly crimped hair around and slaps Grace in the face. She spits the hair out of her mouth and points to her locker.

"Oh, well then. Bye Charlie! Nice chat. We're best friends right Charlie?" she smiles like the idiot she is. I don't let my eyes respond with the aggravated no that I really really want them to, but instead I just stare deadpan into her eyes and wait for them to leave.

"They're the most annoying people ever, don't you think?" Grace asks as we open our lockers, mine still stuck. I nod and smile a little. "You need help there? Put in the combo and I'll pull," and we do just that. I smile in thanks and start to pack.

I start down the hall to the bus exchanging smiles and rude glances with others, but I try and keep my head down most of the time.

I climb the stairs, show the bus driver my pass, and plop down in an empty seat. Almost the entire bus is full, and I'm still sitting alone. Suddenly, I see Lara out the window rushing towards the bus, and I laugh a little at her clumsiness. "Sorry I'm late Ms. Scof," the bus driver scolds her harsher than she needs to, and Lara scans the bus for a place to sit. I feel a hand on my shoulder, "Hey Charlie, can I sit here?" I look up at her kind face and nod my head and smile sweetly. I lift my chin, close my eyes, and smirk, trying to show her that she can sit next to me any time she wants to without having to ask. "Oh, I know, I just was thinking that maybe you wanted to sit alone today." I love how some people get me immediately, like Lara, she didn't even stutter or think about what I was trying to communicate. She just understood me. Only Chester and Lara really do that, but I'm sure Tyler would.

Gosh, I miss him. He didn't have to learn how to understand me because his death was the reason I stopped talking. We would talk for hours and laugh and just sit in that sibling love. He'd slip away after I was supposed to be asleep. He'd think he was being sneaky, but I knew where he was going. I knew some days he might not come back, but he always did. I knew.

"So, do you want to hang out later?"

I nod no.

"Why not?"

How the heck to I put "I can't because Chester's friend is staying with us and I have to stay and meet him" into a facial expression?

"Um, do you want to write it down?" she laughs because she sees me thinking. Lara grabs a piece of paper and a pencil out of her backpack and hands it to me. I write it down and she responds, "Oh, that's fine," she puts the paper and pencil away and takes out her earbuds and her phone. The rest of the bus ride is silent between us except for the faint Troye Sivan coming from her earbuds.

I nod to the bus driver as I get off the bus and start walking down the street. Lara waves excitedly from the window, and I laugh a bit.

I unlock and push open the door and start up the stairs, my several keychains bouncing and jingling as I climb past the floor with the bathroom and the laundry room, past the empty floor, and to the kitchen and the living room. I open the busted door as much as I can and slide in. Chester smiles at me welcoming me inside waving one hand so cheerfully. I wave shyly at Chesters friend who's sitting with him eating some chips and salsa. "Charlie, this is Howard, or How."

"Hello there! Nice to meet you," he says in the corniest, loudest, diction filled voice. I'm taken aback a bit and raise an eyebrow. I look over to Chester and try to hold back my laughter.

"Um, How, she's not deaf, nor is she three," he says and starts to laugh a bit too.

His face turns red and he slumps in his chair, rushing his hands through his already messy deep brown hair. Visibly upset with himself he chokes the softest, "Sorry."

I smile warmly showing him that it's okay. This awkward introduction isn't new to me. I get it a lot.

"I bet you do," and I nod. I'm a bit surprised at his quickness.

Chester looks back and forth at the both of us more surprised than me and finally spits out, "Oh! Wow, that was oddly quick for you to understand what she was, you know, 'saying'."

"Oh, I barely even noticed she didn't say anything." I smiled at Howard and nod toward Chester telling him I'm going upstairs. I set my stuff on the couch and head down the hall to the stairs.

"See How? She's not so bad!" I hear Chester tell Howard.

"She's nice, and you're right for once: you can understand her," his voice trails away as I go up the stairs. I pass the bedrooms and up the last small set of stairs and open my sliding door into the largest room in the house. At least Aunt Cassandra was nice and let me have her old room when I moved in. It has the largest, most elaborately detailed skylight in the ceiling. It opens with a secret string behind the old Vampire Weekend poster stuck on my wall. A small ladder would pop down, but I don't really need it. If I stand on my bed I'm tall enough to reach it. Other posters with my favorite bands are scattered across the light tan wall space that isn't completely covered by bookcases and shelves holding various stuffed animals.

I plop down on my bed in the center of my room and let out a big sigh, feeling anxious about absolutely nothing as always. Just breathe I tell myself over and over again until the panicky ache in my stomach finally deteriorates. I lay there silently for a while only to get up and get a book. I'm not sure what the title is until I start back up again reading where the bookmark directs me to. It's a book out of the "Septimus Heap" series, but I can't place which book. Probably Flyte. After flipping through pages and pages for hours, I finally bring myself to get up and pull the string behind the Vampire Weekend poster. I hop up out of the skylight and onto the roof. The vivid skyline of the city only a few streets away greeted me as I sat down where I usually sit on the roof. Usually I like to sit and wait for the Sun to "kiss the towers" as Tyler put it. A couple days ago Chester found me up here and sat next to me for a while. Gosh I love him. Tyler, him, and I were really close. Today I wanted him to sit with me, but I knew Howard was here and he had to stay with him. I don't deserve the attention anyways. Everyone always has more important things to do, and I respect that. I accept that. Loneliness isn't a great pain, more like a close yet poisonous friend you can't shake, but somehow you don't want to.

I lay my head back and gaze as the Sun begins to pucker its lips and lean in, preparing itself to kiss the buildings and then slip away beneath the sky. I wonder what it's like to slip away beneath the sky, escaping everything. My breathing slows and I close my eyes. For a couple minutes I lay there in the soft, familiar silence, watching stars pop up revealing themselves to the darkening sky.

"Charlie? Dinner's here! It's just pizza. I got the vegetarian, y'know, the kind you really like?" I look down at Chester through the glass and push down on the door. I realize how empty my stomach is and willingly join him and Howard.