Ok friends!  Here it is, the next chapter.  This one makes me swoon and makes me cry ugly tears.  It was a difficult one to finish and I may come back and do edits in the future.  I hope you enjoy it!  If you do, please comment and vote!  Thank you to all of you for your support and kind words.  I appreciate it so much! 

Fan Art by Alice (found on Zerochan)

Song List:

Flesh by Simon Curtis

Foolish by Forest Blakk

Everything I Need (Film Version) by Skylar Gray

At least Wang Xian still got drunk in the same manner as before.  When he awoke, Wei Ying answered his question, knowing that his words were like the wind and would be lost once they left his mouth.

"I left a special person behind a long time ago in search of something I thought I wanted.  I went looking for a place where I truly belonged, where no one would hate or fear me for things they thought I did.  I wanted to forget them, forget their looks of distrust and anger.  I wanted to be loved, unconditionally.  I wanted to find love and, hell, maybe even start a family of my own."

Wei Ying's eyes became distant, his mind wandering, visions of what might have been flashing before him.

He let out a big sigh. "After searching for years, I came to realize that he was my home, he was my family.  He was everything I needed in life.  He was the one who loved me unconditionally and I was too stupid to see it.  So, I returned and.......we were happy for a while, weren't we?"  Wei Ying asked with a trembling smile.  His drunken gaze fixed on Wang Xian who didn't know how to answer so Wei Ying lowered his head in anguish.

"But, then he disappeared and now I'm terrified that I will never see him again.  Never hold him in my arms."  Wei Ying's breath hitched in his chest.  "Never be able to tell him......I love you.

Tears streamed endlessly down Wei Ying's flushed cheeks, landing softly on his black robes. His sobs were silent as he finally realized how much he had lost and might never get back. 

Wei Ying's glistening eyes looked up at Wang Xian who had moved to stand directly in front of him.  What Wei Ying saw destroyed him.  A single tear sparkled in the corner of Wang Xian's eye before falling gracefully down his cheek.  Wei Ying had never seen him cry before. It was as if his words had carved away at the hard exterior until there was nothing left but raw emotions.  He was the reason this strong man was in pain, pain he had put him through many times but was never there to see the aftermath. 

Wang Xian moved even closer until his legs were touching Wei Ying's.  Wei Ying could feel the heat emanating from Wang Xian's body and it was intoxicating, more than the wine that filled his stomach.  He closed his eyes as his mind and heart warred with each other, each fighting for control of his exhausted and drunk body.  He couldn't......shouldn't......it wasn't proper.  He had no right.  He should just leave now, even though the sun had set hours ago.  He couldn't take advantage of someone who didn't know the truth and would remember nothing in a few hours.

"I'm sorry." Wei Ying blurted out.  "I have to leave.  I need to......"

He stumbled off the chair, his world spinning out of focus.  Before he fell, Wang Xian lifted him and pushed him back into the chair.  Wei Ying held his aching head in his hands.  As he stared at the floor in front of him, he saw Wang Xian's knees hit the boards with a loud thud.  Wei Ying raised his head slowly and was captured in Wang Xian's primal stare.  That look pierced through his morals and sent him over the edge.

Their lips crashed together, fierce and painful.  It didn't matter who kissed whom first, it only mattered that it happened.  Wei Ying groaned into Wang Xian's mouth, the vibrations causing Wang Xian to grow harder under his robes. Their tongues battled, each wanting to dominate the other. Their hands frantically caressed and grasped each other in a tangle of need.  Their scents combined into one, their hearts melting together. 

Wang Xian's lips moved down Wei Ying's neck, biting hard then licking softly leaving trails of desire in their wake.  His large hands removed Wei Ying's upper robes, pushing them down harshly as if everything was taking too long.  He bent lower, his tongue swirled one erect nipple that was now exposed, his teeth nipping lightly but wanting to do more.

Wei Ying's mind was now gone, lost in the touch of the one kneeling before him.  Lost in his memories of the past.  His back arched begging for more from Wang Xian. Untying the long red ribbon and letting it fall to the floor, Wei Ying buried his fingers in Wang Xian's now disheveled hair, fisted it with both hands, and pulled him closer, demanding to be ravished.  But it still wasn't enough.  He pulled Wang Xian's head away from his body and gripped his chin in his slender fingers, leading him to the bed. 

They fell in a tumble, Wei Ying under Wang Xian's larger body, both grinding against each other like wild animals.  Wang Xian again turned his attention to Wei Ying's nipples, licking and biting the one he hadn't pleasured before while pinching the other until it was red and sore.  But Wei Ying's moans only grew louder with every prick of pain his body experienced.  He needed to feel this pain because he knew it would not compare to the pain that was awaiting him.

"More......harder." he ordered into Wang Xian's ear.  And Wang Xian obeyed.

He violently ripped Wei Ying's lower garments from his trembling body and devoured the sight in front of him.  His golden eyes touched every inch of Wei Ying's naked body. A low growl escaped his throat as he lowered himself back down onto the wriggling form under him.  As he sank his teeth into Wei Ying's soft flesh, his right hand reached down and grabbed Wei Ying's erect shaft, giving it a harsh twist. 

Wei Ying's body shuddered. He enveloped Wang Xian, still asking for more.  All conscious thought was erased from his mind, his self-control gone.  He was nothing but pleasure and pain dissolving into one emotion.  Wang Xian's strokes on Wei Ying's manhood became faster and smoother, Wei Ying's own fluids coating it, making it slick.  A few more precise twists and squeezes and Wei's body ignited and was consumed with fire.  Nothing could be more perfect.  No one could be more perfect.

Wei Ying placed both hands on Wang Xian's shoulders, gently turning his upper body, asking silently for him to switch places with him.  Now on top, Wei Ying's desire took full possession of him.  Desperately, he removed Wang Xian's robes.  He started placing feathery kisses on Wang Xian's neck and chest before moving lower.  His warm breath sent chills throughout Wang Xian's muscular body, his skin prickling.  Wang Xian's hands grabbed Wei Ying's shoulders, applying pressure that would leave bruises but Wei Ying didn't feel them as he continued moving down Wang Xian's long body.

Wei Ying's wet tongue circled the tip of Wang Xian's iron hard shaft first, teasing him before his velvety mouth sank down his impressive length, taking everything in the first time.  The loud moan that escaped Wang Xian's throat almost sent Wei Ying over the edge again but he regained control, wanting to make Wang Xian feel all the pleasure Wei Ying failed to give him in the past. Wang Xian's body was paralyzed, euphoria coursed through his soul.  His breathing became erratic as his fists clenched and unclenched in the sheets.  His hips strained against Wei Ying's arms that held them down.  With each heavenly movement of Wei Ying's mouth, Wang Xian's yearning for Wei Ying's body grew until he could not contain it anymore. 

Wei Ying felt the salty release in his mouth and swallowed it easily. He wanted every part of Wang Xian to be his this night. Satisfied, he crawled up the bed until he was lying next to Wang Xian's languid body, his head resting on his chest.  He listened to Wang Xian's heartbeat slow and become regular as he drifted off to sleep. But, as Wei Ying laid there, a cold realization crept into his mind.  He quietly found a soft cloth to clean them off and then lovingly placed a blanket over Wang Xian's sleeping body. 

Wei Ying stayed on the bedside, his thoughts a jumble in his mind.

'How can I bring you back?  You are so happy here.  This is the life I wished for both of us to have. Together. No monsters.  No scheming mad men. No rules.  No.......pain.' he paused, stroking Wang Xian's head.  'I wish I could stay. But my suffering will always follow me and I......I can't put you through that. Not again. I love you too much. So, I will let you be happy. Even if it means I can't share it with you.'

Wei Ying dried his bloodshot eyes, left the bed and dressed. He was about to walk out the door when he heard Wang Xian's breathing become rushed, his face shadowed in fear.  He began to toss in his sleep, his nightmare becoming more real.  Whimpers of 'no' and 'stop' made Wei Ying's heart pound. What had happened to him to make him so afraid? Who had done this to Wang Xian?  His anger raged inside him.

But he held in his anger in check. There was nothing to do about it. Yes, Wang Xian would have nightmares but maybe they would fade over time. And, having some nightmares were always better than Wang Xian being by Wei Ying's side, protecting him, dying for him because Wei Ying put him in danger. No! Wang Xian would live to a very old age, get married, and have lots of children to love him unconditionally.

Wei Ying sat on the bed next to Wang Xian, trying to calm him.  When nothing seemed to help, he remembered what Wang Xian had told him earlier and he started to sing their song.  Wei Ying's angelic voice filled the house and, within seconds, Wang Xian returned to his peaceful sleep, a tiny smile gracing his lips.  

Wei Ying continued to sing for as long as he could until his voice became only a whisper. Feeling confident that the nightmare was gone, he placed Wang Xian in a proper sleeping position to make him more comfortable. Wei Ying brushed the hair out of his face and stared at the god-like man in front of him.  He knew Wang Xian would wake soon and Wei Ying didn't think he should be there when he did. It was better if he left now, without the goodbyes.

He took one final look at his sleeping beauty.  Bending down to give him one more kiss, he whispered, "I will always be here for you.  Live the life we should have had.  Be safe.  Be happy, my Lan Zhan.  For both of us."

Without another look, Wei Ying silently slipped out the door, his gaze missing the single tear slipping down Wang Xian's face.

Excuse me while I wipe my tears away. After finishing this chapter, I realized my story has taken on a life of its own, so I'm not really sure where things are going from here.  I have a rough idea and I know the pieces will fall into place as my fingers create words but please be patient with me if my next update takes a little longer.  Thank you again! 

"To play a wrong note is insignificant; to play without passion in inexcusable."   --Beethoven