Shay.

In the six months Shay had been back in Paris, she had received no less than ten letters from Benjamin Patterson. Shay had only ever answered two of them. She tried to be polite, so as not to offend him, but the man was insistent. She sat with the latest letter in her hand thinking about Mr. Patterson. He was a pleasant man, not unattractive. Medium height, ginger hair with light brown eyes and freckles. His face was happy and he had smiled a lot.

On the night of her birthday, he was quiet. However, he had laughed at Edmond's jokes and silly antics even though he hadn't contributed a lot to the conversation. Shay had decided he was shy. These were qualities Shay liked in people because that's how she was, a little shy, not liking attention to be placed on her, but still not afraid to speak up for herself. She was happy and smiled at all sorts of things, a little beetle trying to right itself, or the most beautiful sunset. Life and all that it had to offer, was worth smiling about in her opinion.

She looked down at the letter in her lap. Did she like Mr. Patterson enough to allow him to court her when she returned from Paris? He had written to ask her if she would be happy for him to do this, and if so, he was going to ask her father's permission.

Shay's heart thundered. She felt sick in the stomach, because she honestly didn't want this. She liked the man. He was friendly and seemed honourable. She never thought of him unless a letter arrived, and when they did, her hands shook, and his letters always made her feel like she wanted to cry.

Hannah thought it was wonderful that Mr. Patterson was paying her attention. Hannah had dreams they would marry on the same day and live in houses that were side by side. This was not the life Shay wanted.

She wanted to take care of sick and abandoned animals. Her dream was to learn to help them recover, perhaps travel to nearby farms and help cows and horses give birth to their calves and foals. To find ways to improve these animal's living conditions. There was nothing else for it but to be blunt and tell Mr. Patterson she was not yet ready to be courted. Perhaps in a few years she would be, and he would be the sort of man she might like as a husband. However, as Hannah had said, Mr. Patterson was looking for a wife and wanted one as soon as possible.

Shay lifted her writing set. Honesty was the best policy.

"Oh my god!"

Shay lifted her head from her dreadful task and stared at Hannah. "What is it?"

"He's asked me." Hannah beamed and lifted her head. "Edmond has asked if he can officially court me when we finish school." She gasped, covered her mouth with her hand, and shook the letter with excitement. "He says, if I say yes, he will ask Papa, and after I come out, he will do all the proper things one does when courting a lady. Then perhaps after six months he will ask for my hand and if Papa approves, he will then put up the bans." Hannah did a little wriggle on the bed and squealed. "What do you think, Shay? Isn't he wonderful?" When Shay didn't show any excitement Hannah stopped smiling and peered at her. "What's the matter? Aren't you happy for me?"

"Yes." Shay nodded her head and smiled. "I'm sorry, my mind was somewhere else. I'm very happy for you, if that is what you want."

"Of course, it's what I want. I will be almost eighteen when we return and probably eighteen and one half when we marry. It's all going to be perfect." She stood up and swirled around with the letter pressed close to her chest.

Shay couldn't help but smile. Every time Hannah received a letter from Edmond, she danced around the room with it.

"You're smiling though I don't believe it's your normal smile." Hannah stood in front of Shay with her hands on her hips. "What's the matter? Tell me."

"I think perhaps Edmond has told Mr. Patterson of his intention, and has thought it was a good idea." Shay lifted her letter. "Mr. Patterson has asked me the same question. He has asked if I would allow him to court me when we return home."

"Oh... Shay... that's wonderful." Hannah's face lit up, and then she frowned before saying, "Isn't it?"

"No." Shay hung her head. "It's not. Now I have to write to him and disappoint him."

"Shay." Hannah lifted her sister's chin to find tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"I don't want to disappoint him. It hurts to be rejected. I cannot say yes to something that I do not wish to do." Shay dabbed her eyes. "I am writing to tell him no, and then I will write to Papa to tell him of the situation, which I know will disappoint him too. I'm not like you, Hannah. I wish I was, but I don't want to marry. I never have. I want to dedicate my life to animals."

"Yes, I know." Hannah knelt in front of Shay. "You do what you must. Papa will understand, and Mr. Patterson will just have to accept it."

Poor Shay.  It must be so hard to be put in that position.  Is she doing the right thing to reject Benjamin Patterson?

Picture taken from LetterPile.