It had been a whole month and Jack still hadn't spoken to her. Shay lay on her bed looking up at the ceiling. After breakfast she was going to search him out and sort this once and for all. She sighed and wondered what she'd done to have him get sweet on her. She certainly hadn't flirted.

Shay smiled and turned her head to look over at the next bed where Hannah lay sound asleep. She supressed a giggle, Hannah had been practising in the mirror every night to try and improve her skill at flirting. As far as Shay could tell, it hadn't looked any better. Aunt Rebecca didn't pull the stupid faces Hannah did, to get Uncle Thomas to smile at her. Shay decided it must be something that happened without trying. Like it was inbuilt, and only the person you were meant to marry was aware of it. She wondered if that was how Jack got sweet on her. Had her inbuilt flirting been happening all this time and she wasn't aware of it? Was she supposed to marry Jack? Shouldn't his inbuilt flirting make her sweet on him?

She thought more about this flow of questions. Aunt Rebecca gave Uncle Thomas dreamy eyes all the time, except when they were debating. Even then, their eyes sparkled at each other like they were speaking without words. Lily and Bailey also had a way about them, though it was more reserved than Uncle Thomas and Aunt Rebecca.

Shay was sure she hadn't flirted with Jack. She liked him. She liked him a lot. He was wonderful with the animals. Doyle was teaching him how to be a farrier and said Jack was certain to take over his position as head groomsman when his time came. Shay sighed and climbed out of bed. She needed her friend back.

She found Jack in the stables cleaning up manure with a shovel. "Do you want me to help you?" Shay took hold of the rake and stepped in beside him.

Straightening, Jack looked down at her and scowled. "No." He seized the rake handle and tried to jerk it out of her hand. She held on tight. "Shay. Let it go and get out of here."

"No." Shay tugged the rake toward her. "Why are you being so mean to me? I never did nothing."

"Don't do that." Jack yanked the handle his way.

"Do what?" Shay attempted to bring the rake her way. He held it firm.

"Speak with slang. You're a lady now, and you know the word should be anything. I never did anything. In fact, it should be, I haven't done anything wrong." Jack jerked on the handle of the rake again as Shay let it go. It whacked him in the head. "Damn you, Shay!" He crouched down and clamped his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I didn't mean it." She knelt beside him and pushed her hand into his hair. "It was an accident. Let me see." Shay tried to tilt his head back.

Jack grabbed her by the wrists and shook her. "Stop it! I told you not to touch me." He ceased shaking her, but continued to hold onto her forearms. "You can't do that, Shay. Not anymore."

For some reason his sad eyes made Shay cry. Soundless tears escaped her lashes. "Why?" Shay gulped and stared at him. "I don't understand why you're so cross with me. I didn't mean to make you sweet on me. I didn't mean to flirt."

Jack's rage left him. This is why he adored her. She was so pure and beautiful. He let go of her hands and cupped her face with his palm. "I know. It's not your fault." He sighed. "You and me is different now, Shay. You're a lady. One day a gentleman will marry you and it kind of hurts me to know that, so you have to keep away from me." He cocked his head and twisted his mouth in a wry grin. "I don't even know why I got sweet on you. Skinny runt you are, with no breasts, and you have the stubbornest streak I ever did see. Worse than a mule you are." He stood up and pulled her to her feet. "I'm sweet on Polly now." He glanced at Shay's chest. "At least she ain't as flat as a washboard and she lets me touch her." Jack nudged his head toward the door. "Go on. Get out of here and leave me alone."

"But we're friends." Shay clasped her hands together. Tears now streamed down her face. She took a step toward him.

"I said get, Shay. We might have been friends once, but not anymore. You gotta stay away from me. Polly don't like you being near me. She's a woman and I'm a man. You're just an ugly skinny flat chested runt." He turned her to face the door and gave her a shove in the back. "Now bugger off, and leave me alone!"

Shay stumbled. She didn't understand any of it. They had been friends for two years. He had taught her everything she knew about animals, and she missed him terribly. Shay righted herself and turned to face him.

He shoved her again and stamped his foot. "Leave! Shay! Now!" They were the hardest words Jack had ever had to say. He bit down the urge to grab her and hold her against him. "I don't like you anymore, Shay. Get that into your stubborn head. We are no longer friends." Jack lifted his hand and pointed to the door. "Get! You scrawny little cow!" He watched her bolt for the door and disappear out of sight.

Jack slumped onto the floor, rested his arms on his knees and hung his head. His torso heaved. There wasn't a thing he could do to stop it. The pain was so intense it burnt deep in his chest. Tears rolled down his face. She was beautiful in every way. He loved her so much but knew she would never be his. The only way to live with any kind of peace was to make her hate him. One day he'd love another. At least that's what his mother kept telling him when he visited on his day off. Jack wiped his eyes. What the hell was he doing? He was a man for Christ's sake and men didn't cry.

*

Shay ran to the stream and crossed on the stepping stones. She followed the path beside the river to the deeper pool where she threw herself down on the soft grass and fallen leaves. Jack hated her. It hurt so much. If getting sweet on someone caused you to hate them, why would anyone get sweet in the first place. Shay couldn't understand it. She hid her face in her arms and cried.

When she woke the sun was directly above her. She sat up. Her face felt hot and swollen. She couldn't go home while she felt as she did, because Uncle Thomas would ask her what had happened, and no matter what, she would never tell anyone about her fight with Jack.

Shay took off her slippers, tied her skirt into a knot at her thigh, and then stepped into the cool water. She splashed her face. Jack said he was a man. While Shay waded, she thought about this. He had gotten much taller and some days his chin was covered in stubble. This happened to Uncle Thomas too, so she guessed Jack was a man. Perhaps growing up caused you to get sweet on others. She was a half score and five. Did that mean she was grown up? She didn't feel grown up, even though she now bled, and Martha said that meant she was a woman.

Shay thought about Jack telling her Polly was a woman who had breasts, which she let him touch. She bit down on her bottom lip. Polly let Jack touch her breasts. Is this what grown-ups did? Pulling out her bodice, Shay peered down at her small mounds. They had gotten bigger but certainly nowhere near the size of Polly's. Shay scowled. Jack said she was as flat as a washboard. That wasn't true. She studied her chest some more. Polly's were huge, Hannah's were somewhere in-between. Not as big as Polly's, but not as small as her own. Shay sighed and patted the fabric of her bodice to her chest. Who cared what Jack thought about the size of her breasts? She didn't care. If she had her way, they could stay as small as they were for as long as they liked.

She splashed more water on her face. It trickled down her neck and wet the lace on her blouse. She giggled. Mrs. Freeman was going to have a fit. Her skirt was wet too and dirt and grass stains showed at her waist. Shay puffed out her breath. Uncle Thomas would scold her for missing her deportment lesson, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now. She stepped back onto the bank, untied her skirt and pulled on her shoes. Time to face the music.  

Poor Shay, losing Jack as a friend.  

I guess Jack has done the right thing.  What do you think?

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