the sauna test

♛

"That keycard opens the door, but unfortunately, the Russian with this keycard also has a massive gun." Dustin explained to the group. All five sat around the table, listening to Dustin as he voiced every possible detail that described the sketchy base. Just moments earlier, Dustin had been scoping out the area on top of the roof, using binoculars to get a closer look. "Whatever's in this room, whatever's in those boxes, they really don't want anybody finding it."

"So what your saying is.. there's no way in." Ben shrugged, basically deciding to himself that Dustin's scoping was the end of the situation. But he was so very wrong.

Scarlett thought for a moment before sitting up in her seat, "He never said that. There has to be some other way in.. Like a chute, or a tunnel?"

"Well, you know." Steve blew his hat back into form, dropping it on the table and leaning forward. "I could just take him out."

Everyone sat in silence for a moment, processing the stupidity that had come out of Steve's mouth. "Take who out?" Robin was the first to speak up, completely skeptical.

"The Russian guard." Steve confirmed as if it were obvious, causing Ben to stifle a laugh and cover it with a cough.

"To dinner?" Scarlett quipped. "Because I know you're not about to fight that Russian guard." She had to laugh, immediately stopping as soon as she noticed his expression. "Oh.. you're serious."

"What? I sneak up behind him, I knock him out, and I take his keycard. It's easy." Steve listed his plan, and it was seemingly solid to him, although everyone else knew he was missing one big factor that would surely cause him to rethink.

"Did you not hear the part about the massive gun?" Dustin said what everyone was thinking, but Steve seemed unphased.

"Yes, Dustin. I did." Steve stared at him as if he had seven heads. "And that's why I would be sneaking." He made his two fingers walk across the table, providing a visual aid for Dustin.

"Ah," Dustin nodded. "But please, tell me this, and be honest. Have you ever actually.. won a fight?" He asked Steve, multiple 'oohs' rising up in the room.

"Okay, that was one time-"

"Twice." Both Scarlett and Dustin were quick to shut Steve down, humbling him more than ever before. "Jonathan. Year prior?" Dustin specified.

"Yeah," Ben winced. "Tough, dude. You got beat up by Jonathan Byers." Ben reached over and pat Steve's back sympathetically, earning a glare from him.

"That doesn't count." Steve wasn't willing to accept the embarrassment, especially not in front of two girls who were definitely not impressed.

"Why wouldn't it? Because it looks like he beat the shit out of you." Dustin pointed out. He was right, and Steve left with more bruises on his ego than on his face. And that's saying something, there was a lot of bruises on his face. The two boys immediately began arguing, the quarrel becoming more chaotic by the second.

Suddenly, Robin shot up out of her chair, rushing out of the break room and scooping the money out of the tip jar. As Steve called after her, she had a few simple answers for him. "I'm finding us a way into that room, a safe way! And, in the meantime, sling ice cream, behave, don't make Scarlett and Ben do your job, and don't get beat up. And Scarlett, I'm so sorry I'm leaving you to babysit. I'll be back in a jiff." She saluted, dashing off to who knows where.

Steve turned to Dustin, who was in the middle of licking Steve's scoop. "Oh, dude. Come on, not my scooper." He snatched it from him, placing it right back in his pocket.

"You didn't even wash it." Scarlett shuddered, disgusted at what she had just witnessed. "I'm never buying ice cream from here ever again."

"I'll wash it! I'll wash it." Steve threw his hands up in surrender before swirling the scoop in a cup of clean water a couple times. Glancing up at Scarlett, he noticed her disapproving look and immediately retreated to the back to fully wash it.

"You are so incredibly gross, Steve." She shook her head, her gaze falling to Ben and slapping away the finger reaching into the cookies and cream. "That's so unsanitary, Ben."

"So unsanitary." Dustin agreed as if he didn't just lick an ice cream scooper, crossing his arms. The irony in his statement caused Scarlett to flash him an insanely forced smile.

Robin had been gone for nearly an hour now, leaving the four inside Scoops to sit around, occasionally sell a cone, and play Go Fish. "Hey Scarlett, do you have an ace of spades?" Ben dragged out slowly, nearly asleep as he held the cards in his hands. This was their tenth round of Go Fish, and of course it was getting quite boring.

"Nope. You already asked me that, like, last round." Scarlett sighed, kicking her feet up onto the table. "Go fish."

"Well maybe you drew one out of the pond!" Ben suggested as he pulled a card out. "No way! It's not your lucky day, Scarlett. Because I am winning." Ben triumphantly slapped his brand new ace of spades cards onto the table to join his other two pairs, putting Scarlett down one pair.

Suddenly, Robin barged in, followed by Dustin and Steve. "It is fascinating what twenty bucks will get you at the County Recorder's office. Starcourt Mall. The complete blueprints." Robin presented the map on the table, knocking the cards to the ground.

"My game!" Ben threw his arms up, a baffled expression on his face as Robin just shrugged. Grumbling to himself, he leaned back in his seat.

"Not bad." Dustin shot a grin at Robin as the group gathered around the map eagerly.

"So this is us, Scoops." The redhead pointed at a small section of the map which just so happened to be the very place they were standing. She then drags her finger across the map to an even smaller room, "And this is where we want to get."

"I mean, I don't really see a way in?" Steve mumbled as he stared intently at the map.

"Maybe if you stared harder." Scarlett joked at a whisper, causing Steve to stifle a laugh. "There's not, though.."

"If you're talking exclusively about doors." Robin finished her sentence, Scarlett nodding happily as she'd seen it as well. Robin moved the first map out of the way to reveal the ventilation systems.

"Air ducts." Dustin caught on, looking between the two girls with a gummy smile on his face. "Ohhh.." Ben snapped, finally realizing what they were talking about and getting on page with everyone.

"Took you long enough." Scarlett whispered and flicked the back of her friends head.

"Exactly." Robin replied to Dustin, marching over to get a marker. "Turns out, this secret room needs air just like any old room. And these air ducts.. lead all the way here." She drew a line from the secret room right to Scoops. Everyone's eyes trailed right to the vent located above their heads, a triumphant expression on each and every one of their faces.

Just moments later, Steve stood on a ladder with a flashlight, staring into the vents. "Yeah, I don't know, man. I don't know if you can fit in here. It's like.. super tight."

"I'll fit. Trust me. No collar bones, remember?" Dustin grinned, taking Steve's spot on the ladder.

"Um, excuse me?" Robin exclaimed, a puzzled expression on her face.

"Oh he's uh.. Yeah, he's got some disease. Chrydo.. uh.. It's chrydo, um.. something." Steve tried to sound out.

"Cleidocranial Dysplasia." Scarlett helped him out, bumping his side as she looked up at him with a smile.

"Yeah.. that." He grinned down at her, immediately looking away as he felt his face heat up. "He's missing bones and stuff. He can bend like Gumbo."

"You mean Gumby?" Robin pointed out the mistake, her eyes narrowing on him as if she was searching for a reaction.

"I'm pretty sure it's Gumbo." Steve stammered, placing his hands on his hips.

"It's nottt.." Ben dragged out, shaking his head at Steve, who shot him a look.

"Steve, just shut up and push me!" It seemed everyone had forgot Dustin, who sat stuck in the air ducts, trying to wedge himself in further but was unable to.

Steve rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Okay, I'll push ya." He grabbed a hold of his feet, trying to shove him in. Scarlett moved next to Robin to enjoy the show that was about to air.

"Not my feet, dumbass. Push my ass." Dustin yelled, leaving Steve confused. "Touch my butt! I don't care! Come on! Harder! Push harder!"

Scarlett bursted into laughter as she watched the scene unfold while both Robin and Ben observed with furrowed brows. "You're playing with my legs." Dustin complained.

"I'm not playing, I have terrible footing." Steve replied as Dustin screamed once again. Scarlett was sure the entire mall could hear him just from the vents. "I'm gonna just shove you, ready?"

ding! ding! ding!

The three not captivated by the air ducts turned their attention to the front, where Erica Sinclair stood, requesting service. "Ahoy, sailors! All hands on deck! Ahoy, come on. Get over here and serve me some samples."

"I know that bossy voice anywhere." Scarlett sighed, poking her head through the window. "Stop being so demanding and maybe you'll get a sample or two."

"What are you doing here? Don't you have a job?" Erica shot back, a smidge of confusion in her tone.

"Val's got it. What are you doing here anyways?" Scarlett questioned, knowing Sue would never let Erica come here alone, plus she never heard them discuss it, only Tina's house.

"I just wanted to come and enjoy some ice cream, is that so bad?" She batted her lashes at her cousin, causing her to groan and turn away from the window.

Robin had been scheming the entire time. "Erica.. I have a proposition for you." She grinned, motioning for Erica to follow her to the back.

She hesitated but followed, and upon entry, Robin handed her a flashlight. "Can you fit in there?" She pointed to the vent. Erica shot her a look before climbing up the ladder and observing the interior.

"Hmm." After a few moments, Erica finally climbed down. "Yeah, I don't know."

"You don't know if you can fit?" Dustin replied in confusion.

"Oh, I can fit." Erica said shortly. "I just don't know if I want to." Scarlett felt quite against the idea, her cousin being put in danger.

"Are you claustrophobic?"

Erica snickered at Robins statement, "I don't have phobias." Scarlett knew she was lying, Erica was scared of the dark, Nyctophobia.

"Okay well, what's the problem?" Steve asked her.

"The problem is, I still haven't heard what's in this for Erica." Erica stated very loud and clear.

Soon enough, all six of the Scoop Troop members sat in a booth, surrounded by dishes and cones of ice cream. Steve slid a perfectly made sundae over to her, to which she slid right back. "More fudge, please."

"Erica!" Scarlett scolded.

"What? This is my payment." Erica shrugged, causing Scarlett to groan. "Go on." Erica waved Steve off to fetch more fudge. Steve hesitantly left the table, unhappy to be following orders from a ten year old.

Robin pulled out the map of the air ducts, a new path drawn on. "Alright, you see this? This is the route you're gonna take. Then we just wait till the last delivery goes out tonight. Then you knock out the grate, jump down, open the door."

"It's simple really." Ben added as he continued to eat the ice cream that he had scooped himself.

"Then you find out what's in those boxes?" Erica asked, receiving an immediate response from Robin. "Mm hm, and you say this guard is armed?"

"Yes, but he won't be there." Dustin affirmed.

"And booby traps?" Erica asked, Ben letting out a short laugh as the rest sat quite confused at her statement. "Lasers, spikes in the wall? You know what this half-baked plan of yours sounds like to me? Child endangerment." She said clearly, making sure to look at everyone at the table.

Now it was Scarlett's turn to speak up. "For the record, I am completely against this idea, I do not stand with child endangerment." She threw her hands up in surrender, earning a glare from the table members.

"We'll be in radio contact with you the whole time-" Robin began, but was immediately cut off by Erica.

"Ah- ah- ah!" She shook her finger in Robin's face. "Child endangerment!" Scarlett groaned, slapping a hand to her own face and dragging it down.

"Erica?" Dustin waited for her to turn towards him. "Uh, hi. We think these Russians want to do harm to our country. Great harm. Don't you love your country?"

Erica thought for a moment, "You can't spell America without Erica." She sipped her milkshake as the gears in Dustin's head turned.

"I get it!" Ben stifled his laughter, elbowing Scarlett. "AmErica. That was kind of smart." Scarlett grinned at her best friend, rolling her eyes. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but she loved him anyways.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Oddly, that's totally true. So.. so, don't do this for us, do it for your country. Do it for your fellow man. Do this for America... Erica." Dustin tried to convince her as she continued to slurp the condensation out of her cup.

"Ooh! I just got the chills." Dustin grinned at Erica's statement. "Oh yeah, from this float, not from your speech." She finished plainly, watching his smile drop.

"Damn." Ben grimaced as Scarlett covered her mouth, everything in her fighting back the laughter.

"Know what I love most about this country? Capitalism. Do you know what capitalism is?" Erica asked, everyone nodding. "It means this is a free market system. Which means people get paid for their services, depending on how valuable their contributions are. And it seems to me, my ability to fit into that little vent is very, very valuable to you all. So, you want my help? This USS butterscotch better be the first of many. And I'm talking free ice cream for life." Erica argued, eating the cherry on top to finish.

Scarlett groaned once again, sending her head down onto the table, definitely not fully agreeing with this plan, but also understanding she was the only one who could fit.

♛

back at it.