When I woke up, everything hurt. And I mean everything. My arms and legs. My ribs. But most of all, my head hurt. Probably because I hit it so hard.

I tried to sit up, groaning and wincing as I tried to get my eyes open. I gasped in pain as any movement sent a shockwave of pain through my body. I was pulled back down gently and my head was resting on someone's lap. I reached up and gingerly rubbed my eyes. Ow.

I managed to get my eyelids to function to see I was laying down in someplace dark and cramped. The light from the flashlight on my phone illuminated the blue-tile interior of the elevator. I made out two blurry forms of people in front of me and muffled voices. Were they crying?

I made out muffled voices and made out faint words like "blood" and "broken" and "dead". Well, I certainly wasn't dead, though I didn't know how.

I lifted my hands to rub my eyes and soon enough, I could see again. I don't know how long it took, but I could. Cisco was looking at me with wide eyes and Caitlin was somewhere behind me. I was moving, but I wasn't walking. My lower half of my body seemed to be paralyzed, yet my arms were able to lift. My shoulders protested suddenly and my arms fell down into my torso. I groaned softly in pain, flinching.

I began to regain feeling and amongst the pains I registered there was an oxygen mask on my face. The hell...? Wasn't I still in the elevator? I felt so tired, but something in me was pushing to keep me awake and alert.

"W-What happened...? We still in the elevator...?" I croaked and I heard a bustling of surprised voices. My eyes opened and closed weakly, but I still couldn't see straight.

"I..." Caitlin began and looked at Cisco. Her eyes were filled with tears.

She was dead. How is she alive? I heard her voice, but her lips didn't move.

"No. We're not in the elevator, Mads." Cisco says gently, looking between me and Caitlin. "We're in a hospital, but there have been random power outages. There's one going on right now. You-"

"What? How long have I been here?" I asked, wincing as my head spun and I wrapped an arm around my ribs, a tear sliding down my cheek.

"Only an hour." Caitlin said, gently wiping the tear off of my face. "Look, Maddie. This is going to take a lot of faith in us to believe this, but...when we brought you here, every bone in your body was broken and you... you were dead."

I paused. "Dead?" I frowned. "But... that doesn't make sense. All I felt was tired and like I was fighting sleep..."

"Yes. Dead. As in gone forever." Cisco said, voice cracking. "Did you see a white tunnel? Please tell me you didn't..."

"What? No. I didn't." I wince and rub my arm and it begins to feel warm and I freeze.

I look over at Caitlin and grabbed her hand and said seriously, "Take me back to S.T.A.R. Labs."

"What? Maddie. You just got here and I can't just-"

"Caitlin. I'm not asking. Now take me back to the lab."

"I can't. It's... completely destroyed, Maddie. We went in the elevator, but the blast made a sonic wave that shattered everything inside."

I remained silent and looked at her. "And... Ronnie?" Her eyes brimmed with tears and I reached over and latched onto her hand, squeezing it even though my whole arm hurt. I coughed slightly. "I'm sorry, Cait..."

She wiped her eyes and I wiped away mine with a shaking hand and asked, "Where's Harrison?" They looked at each other and I became gripped with panic, my heart beginning to race. "Guys. Where's my dad?"

"We... don't know." Cisco finally relented. I felt my eyes water.

"You...don't know?" I managed hoarsely and tears slid down my cheeks.

"No. We don't. Maddie... it exploded and... a lot of things happened. Just... take it easy, alright? Rest up." Cisco said gently and took my other hand. "You can start helping us out when you're better. You need surgeries- a lot of them. I-I don't understand how you're even moving, Maddie. We need to get some things done." He said, pulling the blanket up around me more.

"Wait... aren't you guys hurt, too?" I asked, my eyes already drooping. There was something sharp in my arm. I could make out some nurses walking back and forth.

They shared a look, then Cisco patted my shoulder and said, "We'll tell you later."

I watched them leave, then sank back into my pillow.

The hospital.

I could have sworn we were just in the elevator shaft.

What was happening me?

******

******One Month Later******

One month after the explosion, I took a vacation from my job at the CCPD, not knowing when I would return. They told me I should rest. That a normal person didn't walk around only a month after being crushed by a an elevator door.

I had pushed Cisco and Caitlin out of the way before it happened. I had no idea how I was alive today, but was thankful I had pushed them away in time.

The explosion not only hurt the city, but it took away many lives, including Ronnie's. Caitlin didn't smile as much anymore, and Cisco kept to himself.

They found Harrison a week after I entered the hospital. He would be stuck in a wheel chair for the rest of his life.

I sat at my desk at home, filling out paperwork for a temporary release from duty at the CCPD while I recovered when a knock came at my door.

I put my pen down and picked up my crutch, using it to steady myself as I slowly hobbled over to the door and opened it.

Standing in the doorway were Iris and Joe. I smiled through gritted teeth and her eyes watered as she pulled me into a gentle hug. I moved my one free arm around her waist and hugged her back.

She wore a pretty floral dress, tall boots, an infinity scarf, and her hair was neatly curled, as if she was going on a date. I wore sweatpants, a ratty college t-shirt, and my hair was in a messy bun.

I also had thick bandages wrapped around my torso, and a splint going down my entire left leg. Basically, I looked like a hot mess and it was nothing unusual for me.

Iris released me gently and asked, "Maddie... are you ok?"

I looked down at myself, then looked at the crutch I held, then back at her, and replied, "I'm being put back together- slowly- but I'll be ok."

"May we come in? We brought you some dinner." Joe said and I smiled.

"Yes. Of course. I haven't exactly had any visitors other than Cisco and Caitlin since the explosion. Sorry. My apartment's rather messy." They step inside and I turn on the light in the room that doubled as my kitchen and living room, and tried to fluff the pillows, but sucked in a sharp breath as I moved too fast and my ribs screamed in pin.

Iris wrapped her arm around me and gently stopped my hand.

"Maddie. You can't break every bone in your body and then expect to be able to clean your apartment. We came over to help you out." She said and helped sit, guiding me over to the armchair.

I smiled at my friend and Joe set the dish covered in tin foil on the kitchen counter. "All it needs is to be warmed up." He smiled at me and I slowly sank into the armchair, although I was hesitant. Joe and Iris sat down on the couch and I leaned my crutch against the arm of the chair and Iris pulled up the footrest. I sat back into the pillows and adjusted my leg to be more straight, adjusting the metal poles of the splint with a few clicks. It was held in a straight position by the full splint and wrapped up tightly. Bandages covered my foot.

I smiled at my friends and realized someone was missing from the West household.

"Where's Barry? Is he still working and doing CSI things like always?" I smiled to myself. "Or did he go to Starling City again? I know I've been in and out of surgeries for a while, but I didn't think he'd not visit me at least once."

Joe and Iris looked at each other with pained expressions, and my smile vanished. Fear gripped my heart and I leaned forward and said, "Please... don't tell me he's..." I couldn't finish the sentence and I felt my heart begin to beat too hard in my chest and tears filled my eyes. "No... I've lost too many people. Suffered too much. Barry... is he alright? He made it away from the explosion in time right?"

"Hey, hey, Maddie. Come here." Joe said and stood and moved over to me and pulled me into a hug as tears began to fall down my cheeks. "Barry is fine. It's ok. He's alive." He said and pulled away to wipe my tears away. "When the particle accelerator exploded, it caused a storm that produced a lightning bolt that struck Barry. He was at CCPD. He's been in a coma for the past month." Joe explained gently.

I leaned back into the chair, wiping at my eyes and sniffled. "Thank God," I breathed. I released a shaky breath accepted the tissue Iris passed to me, then said, "Where is he now?"

"At the hospital."

"Then let's go see him." I say, and begin to get up. .

"We can't. The doctors won't let us. His heart..." Iris explained and I frowned.

"His heart keeps stopping and then beating again. We don't know why." Joe finishes.

I remained silent. "I had to give up my job at the CCPD. I went to funerals in a wheel chair for ten of my friends and fellow engineers, and missed several more for my surgeries. My father will never walk again. The doctors don't know if my leg will ever be the same again. Barry is in a coma. And all of this happened because of the particle accelerator I helped build and plan." I bit my lip. "This is all my fault."

"Alright, Kennedy. Listen up." Joe began, using his serious-boss-detective-voice and I stopped short. "What happened with the accelerator is not your fault. It was an accident. A big accident, but everything is ok now. You couldn't have known that the thing was going to blow. You couldn't have known any of this would happen. Don't beat yourself up over it." He rested a hand on my good knee and smiled at me. "Now. Let's get that casserole in the oven, eat dinner, then we can take you to see Barry. How's that?"

I nodded stiffly and turned to look at Iris and asked, "Could you help me change while your dad does that?" She nods and says,

"Of course." She helped me get up and walk into my room and I sat on the edge of my bed.

"Alright," she said, going through my wardrobe. "Let's have you stay in those sweatpants, alright? They're the only things that will fit over that massive cast. Take off that shirt. It's got holes in it."

"Yes, ma'am." I replied and slowly and tenderly pulled it off. I sat in my wrapped up torso and sports bra, and when she turned around, she dropped the shirt she was holding in shock. I blushed. "I look terrible... don't I?"

"Maddie..." She said slowly, eyes wide.

"Iris, what? You're freaking me out." And then I looked down at myself.

The bruises and scars from countless surgeries that once covered my entire torso- across my collar bones and shoulders and chest- were completely gone.

I tentatively touched my ribs, and winced a little, but they didn't hurt nearly as much as they had...

"Iris...?" I asked slowly. She swallowed hard.

Oh my gosh. She's healed... I heard her voice say.

"What?" I asked.

"I didn't say anything." She replied seriously.

"Yes you did. You just said 'Oh my gosh. She's healed'. I'm not stupid, Iris."

She stared at me. "I didn't say that out loud..."

My eyes widened. I leaned forward and snagged a sweatshirt I left on my bed, pulled it over my head without a second thought, then said, "Iris? Do you think that instead of going to the hospital after dinner, you could drop me off at S.T.A.R. Labs?"

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"I just need to speak with a few people. And don't say a word of what you saw, alright? To no one. Not even Joe. Not until I figure out what's going on."

But that's just it.

I had no idea what was happening to me.