JHANVI

I open the door and try to smell the familiar scent. But I smile slowly as I walk inside. He is not here to give me the familiar scent. I stand near the wall and look at all the picture frames. Nikhil is not present in most of the frames, it is me. I was his sun.

"You are my sun, Jhanvi,"

The pictures kind of tells the timeline of Nikhil's life. There is him sitting on his father's lap when he was 3 years old and his mother holding his newborn brother, Gautam. Then there is him being graduated. He has me sitting on his lap and he is laughing as I blush because there were so many of his relatives around us and since it was immediately taken after our marriage I had the bridal glow.

He has a picture of me kissing on his cheek. Him holding our baby. That is it. That is Nikhil's life. That's all it was.

I wipe the tears as soon as it runs out of my eye. I don't want to start crying. I promised to stop.

A knock on the door distracts me from the pictures to door. Neetu Sharma, Nikhil's mother smiles at me as she enters the room. She stands beside me and looks at the photos. We stand there for a good few minutes before she holds my hand.

"My son had always been happy. He was happy as a teenager. Happy as an adult. Perfect as a son..."

"Perfect as a husband..." I finish the sentence as I touch his face on the picture of him holding Adi. "Perfect as a father,"

"Yes," She says and holds both of my hands. "His loss is unfathomable but he lived his life. And he was happy. While it might be difficult at first, we are supposed to be moving on. At first, we act. Then slowly time will heal the heart and mind. Because Jhanvi, time is what keeps everyone going forward. I thought I won't be able to live in a world without my son but now I can because I realized I'm what keeps my son alive. His father, his brother, Adi and you. We keep him alive in us.

And it won't be wrong if we move forward. It doesn't tarnish Nikhil's memory and we are not cheating on him. You understand what I'm saying,"

I look down as I let the tears out.

"You are our daughter Jhanvi. Now we have only Gautam, you and Adi. Gaurav and I live for your happiness. So, live your life beta. Cherish it,"

Driving back home from Nikhil's parent's house, all I can think about is Neetu Ma's words. I look at Adi as he lies down in the backseat and plays with a Rubik's cube.

In other words, she asked me to move on and not feel guilty about it. She is right about everything she said. We are what keeps him alive. I'll share him with Adi who will pass on Nikhil's memories to his children one day.

Maybe, I'll move on. As she said, according to time.

I park in the driveway of Diya's home and get out of the car. Adi jumps out and runs to ring the doorbell. He is having a sleepover with Ryan and he has not stopped showing his excitement from morning.

"You didn't take your bag," I remind him and he runs to the car to take his bag out.

Diya opens the door and Ryan sneaks in and hugs Adi. Adi gets shy and he blushes as he hugs him back. Diya and I laugh as we walk inside with them.

"Let me ask once again: Can you handle both of them?"

She smiles as she pours juice for me. Adi is with Ryan in his room and they are not getting out soon.

"I will manage. I'll have help. Ved is going to come over to help me bake the cake for Liya's birthday party tomorrow and then he is sleeping over."

"Isn't he studying in Bangalore?"

She shakes her head. "No, it's Rahul. Ved is waiting for his NEET results. I really hope he gets it this time. He has worked so hard and he deserves it, considering how far he has come,"

I nod. I remember Ved had some addiction problem but he has been clean for years now and I know how much Diya cares for him. He is a good kid if he's in her good book.

"Where is Rehan?"

"Oh, Dad is planning to build a hospital in a village and Rehan has gone there to meet some people. Dad wanted to send Sanjay, and Rehan wanted the same, but he didn't. He said Sanjay needs to be home more now,"

Is it because Sanjay is building a relationship with his ex, again?

"So, is his girlfriend coming to the party tomorrow?"

Diya narrows her eyes at me. "Whose girlfriend?"

"Uh—" I can't find words. "Sanjay's?"

"Sanjay doesn't have a girlfriend..."

"Oh," I shake my head. God, why did I have to ask? I hope there is not a seed of doubt planted in her mind with my question. "I simply asked because... I thought you said the other day..."

Diya shakes her head as she realizes what I mean. "I didn't say they were together. I hope they end up together but they never will. He told Rehan, he wants to hear nothing. I think he is still not ready to be on amicable terms with Anvi,"

I take her words in and it makes a lot of sense. He didn't call me that night because he did not want Anvi to see him hurt, he called me that night because he wanted me there. He wanted me when he was hurt.

SANJAY

I look up at the ceiling and groan as Mom checks my arms and face. From the corner of my eye, I can see Jiya, my sister capturing everything on her phone. I look at my Dad and sign him to come forward. He shakes his head but he takes a sigh and pulls Mom from me.

"Leave him," Dad says calmly.

"Leave!" Mom roars. "Look at him. Are you even going to ask what happened?"

"What happened Sanjay?"

I look at Mom and if I tell her I was drunk she will kill me. I look down at my hand and mumble. "I was in a road accident."

"Liar,"

I shot a glare at Rahul. "You mind your own business,"

I pull Mom to the side and develop an accident story for her. She believes 80% of the story and narrows her eyes at me for the most part. At the end of our conversation, she sentences me to stay with her for the next two weeks. I didn't argue much because I know she is doing it to see me every day.

I open the door of my bedroom and I'm in shock at the sight. There is nothing in the room except for the nightstand. The beige walls made me remember how angry I was that day just before Dad told me he has cancer.

"I left it for you to decide,"

I turn around to see Mom and she passes me a smile as she links her arm with mine. "You are restarting your life, right? You should begin from here. Your room. Your world."

I nod at her and she stands on her toe to kiss me on the forehead. I chuckle as I lower down for her and she hugs me laughing. "You used to cry in anger when you couldn't reach up to hug me. And look at us now! You don't even have time to hug your mother,"

"Mom!"

She laughs. She has the most gorgeous laugh. From childhood till four years ago, everyone used to tell me I have her laugh. Now I have forgotten, when was the last time I had laughed out loud.

"You go and purchase furniture when you feel okay. Dad will give you the money. Till then you can sleep in the guestroom,"

"I can pa—"

"You might be grown 6ft but you're still that boy who cried every time a mosquito bit him. So, your father will pay for the furniture." She turns around and walks away giving me no chance for arguing.

I go to the guestroom and lie down on the bed. It might be the medicines but I feel sleepy so I turn my phone on silent and fall asleep.

The vigorous shaking makes me open my eyes. I groan and cover my eyes with the pillow when I see Liya. She pulls the pillow away and when I try to use my good hand as a shield, she holds it down.

"Liya!"

She narrows her eyes at me and I try to glare back but I lose. She was the only girl child in the house before Jiya or Rhea was born. So Rehan, Rahul, Ved and I had to include her in all of our activities. The activities include kicking, fighting, punching, cursing etc. At first, she used to stand in a corner and watch me and Rehan fight with the neighbouring kids or Rahul and Ved with their friends. But soon she started to make fights of her own. We were forced to teach her how to fight back so that she doesn't get hurt. Because if she gets hurt, it was us who would be in trouble.

"What do you want?"

"I heard you got into an accident," She has an amused smile on her face. "Liar. Whose punching bag, were you?"

I pull my hand back and sit on the bed with my back against the headboard. "They are going to wish they were dead,"

She widens her eyes with excitement. "Are you going to hit them? Oh my God! Can I come!"

"Chup chap ek kone mein baito,"

"Oh, come on!"

"Why are you here Liya?"

"We will be back on this topic but listen," She waves her hands excitedly and I frown. "I was planning to recreate a picture of us all when I was a child. It includes the four of you, boys, then Jiya and Rhea and me."

"I'm not going to stand in trousers or shorts for you to show the world."

She hits me on my right arm and I yell. She takes her phone out and shows me the picture. "See, everyone is well dressed. It was taken for my birthday dinner when I was eight."

"I know I was there, remember," I tell her and she hits me again. "Stop that," She hits me again. "Liya. I don't like it,"

"What, you can be others' punching bag but not mine?" She laughs. I put my arm around her neck and let her struggle as I look at the picture.

I remember the birthday party well. It wasn't a party, it was just a dinner with our two families which happens once a month. Liya wanted everyone to dress up otherwise she would cry. Badepa couldn't handle that so we all dressed up. The boys were in suits and somewhere that night, Rehan and I lifted her to throw her in the pool. Rahul and Ved joined just in time for the picture to be clicked. We were standing in the poolside so Rhea and Jiya were included in the picture because they were inside the pool in the swim tube.

"I'm so going to throw you in the pool tomorrow," I grin as I unwrap my arm from her neck.

"You wouldn't," She gets up from the bed.

"Oh, I will,"

"What is that classic Benz model your Nana has?"

"Why?"

"So that I can tell him who broke the headlight,"

"You wouldn't," My Nana is the scariest man on earth. Even though Mom say I got the temper from him, I would never try to get on his bad side.

"Oh, I will," She grins as she stops by the door. "And buy me a nice birthday gift,"

She leaves and I shake my head with a smile. I can't blame her. She grew up watching me and Rehan. I take my phone and there are a few missed calls from Kiaan, from work. I call him back and then lie down to sleep again. It's four in the evening and the curtains are not closed. So, I walk to the window to close it when my eyes move to the swing on the lawn.

I see him sitting excitedly on the swing and trying to push it forward. He can't so he gets down and pushes the swing forward but now he is not able to jump and sit. I smile and walk out. I walk faster. I slow my steps when I realize I'm running. My brain silently prays for no one to see him, so that they don't help him.

i lost my grandfather a few weeks ago. please include him in your prayers.

thank you for reading.