CHAPTER SIX ;
"  two steps back,
                one step forward "

"   she would not show that she was afraid
     but being and feeling alone was too
     much to face, though everyone said
     that she was so strong what they didn't
     know is that she could barely carry on   "
✧   A LITTLE TOO MUCH
                shawn mendes!

Laurie stands at the entrance of her little sister's bedroom with a kinda guilty look on her face. Her shoulder is pushed into the wooden doorway and her lips are twisted sourly, watching as her mom tucks Cassie in. She pulls at her long fingers distractedly, sighing to herself because she knows she's destined for death as soon as Cassie is out.

Paxton got her out of the clink about an hour ago after a lot of paperwork and some likely shady deals or something. The car ride home was horrible 'cause Paxton refused to turn on the radio so the two just had to listen to Laurie's sucky humming for entertainment. Though, her humming lasted for about ten minutes before Paxton gave her a look that said she was either gonna zip it or walk home, and considering how exhausted she was feeling, she figured she rather would zip it.

Coming into the house was even worse as Maggie stood at the front door with her arms across her chest. Laurie did one of those awkward shrugs and offered up a 'whoops' before her mom shook her head and led her upstairs to say goodnight to Cassie. It's gotta be some kind of a guilt trip though because, as she stands in her little sister's soft bedroom light, Laurie feels even worse. The fifteen year old feels like she's let Cassie down; being what she always swore she'd never be.

"Hi Laurie." The small voice of her little sister brings Laurie's focus back on her small family.

"Hey Little Mama." Laurie bumps the side of her head against the doorway, "Sorry I'm home so late."

"It's okay." Cassie bends her eyebrows at her, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Cas, I'm fine." Her older sister forces a flat smile and a nod, "Get some sleep, okay?"

She nods back and, when she shifts in her sheets, the much-adored demon bunny announces, "You're my bestest friend!"

Their mom sits down on the side of her youngest daughter's bed, eyeing the freaky thing, "Are you sure you don't want a different toy?"

"No." Cassie replies quietly, "I love this one."

Maggie presses a small smile and she nods, "Okay. Well, get some sleep. I love you."

Their mom kisses the seven year old's forehead and, as Laurie turns to trudge downstairs, Cassie stops her, "Laurie?"

Laurie lightly spins back around on her heel, "Yo?"

"Is Daddy a bad man?" Cassie pushes herself up onto her elbows, asking the question as if only her older sister would know the answer, "I heard some grownups say he's bad."

Laurie's throat goes dry.

Is Scott a bad man? She knows her answer is no. She knows it. But he's ditched her so many times that it hurts. He's trying so hard to be there for them, though. She's stubborn and stupid, but she won't deny that. Her icy eyes feel a tad warm when she glances to her mom for an answer that she doesn't know how to give.

Her mom, despite how ticked she is at her, nods at her oldest in comforting understanding before softly stroking Cassie's hair, "No. Daddy just gets confused sometimes, you know?"

Cassie's little pink lips purse and she wisely nods before snuggling back down in her sheets. Laurie doesn't meet her mom's eyes as the woman shuts off her youngest's nightlight and then closes her bedroom door. Laurie taps her fingers against her upper thighs as she waits for Maggie to focus on her. And, when she does, boy, does Laurie regret it.

"Have you lost your mind?"

Now that is the most reasonable question she's been asked all evening. From being arrested to seeing Scott shrink down into a tiny little blip of nothingness, the fifteen year old feels like her mind has literally blown. She wonders if a person can die from so much shock. Nah, if it were to happen, the shock would cause a heart attack and she'd die from that. Considering that the shock of the moment period has passed though, she doubts she'd be fortunate enough to pass onto into the other world.

Darn shame.

Resigning herself to the fate of life on earth, Laurie heaves a groaning sigh and rubs her index finger hard up and down the center of her forehead, "Probably."

"We'll talk downstairs."

Maggie is already halfway down the staircase, and Laurie can do nothing but obey (albeit pretty reluctantly). She wavers on each foot until she reaches the last step, jumping down from the last step to the ground floor. By this point, Maggie is already sitting at the kitchen table while Paxton stands behind her with his arms folded across his chest.

Yikes.

"Okay." Laurie decides to start, figuring it's the best way to go, "First off, y'll people wanted me to start 'bonding', or whatever the horse pucky you called it, with Scott so, technically this is all y'll's fault!" Paxton and Maggie drop their jaws and look at her in disbelief, "Secondly, I am a minor and to hit me is to abuse me so please," Laurie winces away from them dramatically, "do not use physical force. I bruise easy and I might cry."

They show no signs of pleasure. No, no, they look actually pretty ticked. It turns out Laurie's calculation of starting off first was pretty far off base there. Paxton clenches his jaw, glancing out the dark window. Maggie just shakes her head at her, rubbing her forehead and sighing out a heavy breath. It's really Mom's reaction that gets Laurie down. She doesn't mean to get her upset like this! She really wasn't even thinking about Mom or Cassie when she jumped into helping Scott.

Egad, that's exactly something Scott would say.

Laurie scowls at her own thoughts, viciously shaking her head to knock that right out of her.

"Laurie." Paxton starts off measured before he snaps, "You are insane!"

"True." Laurie shakes a finger at her stepfather-to-be and nods tiredly.

Maggie sits in the chair across from her daughter while her hands wring on top of the table.

"I know you always like to test the limits but this is too far!"

Laurie's pearly whites grit at that, "Don't tell me what is too far."

"I will tell you what's too far! This is my house, my rules!"

"Ugh! Could you be anymore unoriginal? 'Your house, your rules!' Oh, please!" The fifteen year old scoffs and rolls her eyes, "I didn't know that when my mom said yes to the dress that meant I was buying into the ball and chain too!"

"Laurie LaRue Lang," Maggie goes all out with the whole full name thing, "This has nothing to do with my marriage; it has everything to do with you getting arrested! What is going on? This is nothing like you!"

"Oh, and what do you know about me?" Laurie squints at her mom, "I'm a teenager! I don't even know what is or isn't like me!"

Maggie just (once again) shakes her head at her, waiting until the girl hopefully comes back to her senses. Maggie thought she was getting better. Over the past few days when Laurie was apparently out there with Scott planning some insane heist, she seemed... well, as sappy as it sounds, happy. Fulfilled and content even. She smiled brighter and fuller.

But now she's stepped back into those same old habits again. She's doing it all again. Whenever anybody gets too close to the truth, she freaks out and calls herself some kind of a rubix cube of frazzled teenage hormones and angst. She's more than that. Laurie Lang is so much more than that, but she'll never admit it.

She wants to be not be seen as a freak, but she would die if she were seen as ordinary.

She wants to be successful, but she's scared if she tries her hardest, it still won't be good enough.

She wants to have more friends, but she doesn't want to put in the effort for people who'll just ditch.

She wants to be loved by and to have a relationship with her father, but she's scared to admit to even herself that she needs him.

She wants to be accepted, but she hates the idea of being boxed in by expectations and predictions.

No, she'll never admit any of that.

Never ever ever.

Besides, everybody knows Laurie only grows more indignant the more wrong she is.

As the silence stretches out, the fifteen year old throws out her hands and exclaims irritatedly, "What do you want me to say?! Sorry?!"

With quiet scoffs, Paxton and Maggie jut out their chins and their eyes dance around.

"Yeah!"

"Pretty much!"

Laurie huffs and spews, "Fine then! I'm sorry I got thrown into the big house! I'm sorry I stole! Definitely not gonna do that again! Or, at least, I'm not gonna get caught again." She laughs awkwardly and the adults look at her horror, making her groan, "That was a joke!"

"It's not funny!"

After a few seconds of silence, the girl lets out a sigh and she grows solemn as she looks at her mom, "I'm sorry. I really am."

"Where did Lang go, Laurie?" Paxton speaks up from the other side of the kitchen table.

"I ain't no snitch."

"Oh my," Maggie whispers as she pushes her face into her hands.

"He is a fugitive, Laurie, and it is illegal for you to hide information on his whereabouts and his escape!" Paxton says in a severe tone, putting his hands on his sides, "This isn't just breaking and entering or petty theft, this is the big time!"

Laurie feels her face pale a little, but, still, she offers a careless shrug, "Dunno."

"You 'dunno'? You were the only one with him in a six by eight foot cell, Laurie! How could you not know? How did he get out?"

Laurie throws up her hand and sighs, shaking her brown head, "You want the truth? Fine! He shrunk himself into the size of a little tiny ant and then, bye-bye birdy, he ran out of the cell like Mr. Invisible Man or whatever."

They both just stare at her with unamused expressions.

"You think that if I knew where he went I wouldn't tell you? He ditched me! Again!" Laurie's face is surprisingly warm as she snaps and then leans back on her heels, "Believe me, I hold no loyalty to Scott Lang."

Maggie's face is sad and disappointed as she stares at her daughter for a moment longer, "Alright, Laurie, it's really late. Go to your room. Get some sleep."

Paxton points a finger at her, saying seriously, "We'll talk more about it in the morning."

Laurie squints at them both, sassily replying, "Well then! I look forward to it." Before she reaches the house's staircase, she stops and turns back to face them, "By the way, Paxton, the joint you call your precinct has horrible customer service!"

Paxton throws his hands up at her, looking at Maggie who drops her hands on her hips, "Laurie!"

"That was the last one, okay?!" She turns up the staircase, mumbling, "Tough crowd."

"Kid..."

"I'm going, I'm going!"

As she trudges dramatically up the stairs, Laurie can hear Paxton and Mom sigh and begin to talk quietly. The fifteen year old's feet grow sluggish and her shoulders droop because she knows they're talking about her. Laurie tiredly steps over to her bedroom, her feet scuffing against the carpet as she moves through the doorway. She kicks off her shoes but doesn't bother taking off the rest of her clothes as she slides into her bed and slinks down in her blankets.

Laurie sits in silence for a few minutes, her eyes darting to the picture frame that still sits on her nightstand. Three years. Three years and she hasn't moved that downturned picture of her, Cassie, and her parents. Maybe it was like some sort of symbol to her, like an idea that while her dad still exists, she doesn't need him anymore. She's shut the door in his face and she's proud enough to show the world by leaving the picture facedown forever.

Her fingers stupidly shake as she reaches out for frame and carefully dusts the glass off. She coughs a little as the dust filters into her lungs and then she sets it upright. She stares at the picture that she hasn't seen in three years for a long second, taking in slow and heavy breaths. Snuffing a little, she reaches a hand into her pocket and pulls out the evidence bag that still houses her phone. She tosses the plastic ziplock onto the floor; her body beginning to bounce a little and her eyes beginning to blink quickly. She holds the glass screen of her phone to her ear and she listens to the dial tone with a reddening nose and stinging eyes.

"Hello? Laurie?" A not-at-all groggy voice responds, sounding alert and worried.

The fifteen year old girl smiles a little and croaks out slowly, "Hey Gordo, my nimrod, my buddy, my pal."

"Ah, there's the patronizing voice I know and love so much!" Laurie laughs a little before Gordo grows serious with a sigh, "Glory gracious, I'm so stinkin' happy you called! I was so freaked. You're out of the slammer, right?"

Her voice is abnormally thin and whispery as she responds, "Yeah. Paxton got me out. Can't say Scott is as lucky as me; he's on the run, you know."

"Yeah, I saw that on the news!" Gordo sounds like he's pacing his yellow rug in his bedroom as he pauses before saying, "I can't believe this! This kinda stuff doesn't happen to real people."

"You don't know that half of it." Laurie mumbles back, not willing to tell the whole truth of what happened over the phone.

The government is always listening, them or the Illuminati, you can never tell. Besides, she's not sure she should even tell Gordo. She's sure she'd sound mental. Really, the real reason is that she's not sure what sorta crap she and Scott got themselves into. She doesn't want to risk Gordo getting into trouble, if she can help it. He looks out of her so she does the same.

She scratches her eyebrow, saying scratchily, "Apparently, my time in the con college is not gonna go on my record or anything. Paxton worked it all out with his superiors. Talk about shady..."

He laughs a little, "Yeah. Shady." There's a small pause before her best friend asks in a soft and comforting tone that nearly makes her want to break down, "Are you alright?"

Laurie squeezes her eyes shut, not exactly answering the question as she whispers, "Can you just talk to me until I fall asleep? I-I," her voice hitches and she scowls into her blue pillow, "I'm stinkin' tired of being alone."

Gordo doesn't respond for a moment, maybe too in shock of hearing her say that kind of thing. She's never ever admitted to him or anyone else how lonely she is. She'll never complain about the things that matter, not seriously. She'll never say what hurts. But she is right now. And right now, she just needs her dad and a shoulder to lean on.

So, Gordo clears his throat and goes on in a confident voice, "Okay, yeah, you know I'm with you, you dork." Her eyes slowly slide closed and, as she falls asleep, she can hear her best friend finish, "I'm always with you, Laurie."

Ta-da! What did you think? Maybe a bit of a filler chapter, but we got o see some Laurie rebellion and analysis in there which I love giving for her. She's so complicated and real and I love it. What do you think of her character? Some serious family drama here! And how about Gordo? He's just the sweetest, isn't he? He is physically coming back along with some very important others next chapter so yay! Betcha didn't see an update coming, huh? Well, I suck and haven't update anything in what feels like a while. But I'm headed off on vacation tomorrow so hopefully a lot more updates coming soon!

Funny Thingamabob (as usual):