CHAPTER FOUR ;
"  burglary in the blood "

" and it's disgusting
   how little that you try
   the existential equivalent
   of pink eye  "
✧   DO BETTER
                 say anything!

The days that follow are filled with a beautiful montage of illegal activity.

Shady deals being made over convenience store countertops as Luis takes the dark gray case before he and Laurie give the shop owner a very cool and secretive nod. The restructuring of the brown van in a dim garage with Dave who knows a guy who knows a guy and Laurie almost trips and dies in. Casually walking down alleyways and swiping a security guard uniform with the Russian-esque man, Kurt. Mapping out the routes to the mansion on Laurie's phone and checking out some tech that's gonna be handy in breaking through the security systems. Oh yeah, and who could ever forget stealing a license plate with Dave from the Walmart parking lot?

All good times.

"Hey, how you know how to do that?" Luis asks the fifteen year old as he sets down a plate of whipped cream that maybe has a waffle underneath it.

Laurie glances up from where her hands are poised over an electrical charge. She has wiring tools kept steadily in her long hands and clear glasses protecting her eyes. She blows her brown hair that's falling from her top bun into her eyes and she gives a careless shrug to Luis who has moved back to the kitchen counter. Scott works beside her, working on his own piece of equipment, but it's stinking obvious that the man is wondering the same thing. For a fifteen year old that has F's in literally all her classes, the girl seems to be pretty smart when it comes to the tech work. And she knows that they're not accepting her noncommittal shrug.

"T'was bestowed upon me as a gift from the Heavens." Laurie looks dramatically up at the ceiling and allows her gaze to hold there as she slowly shakes her head in reverence.

"T'was what?" Dave asks from behind them, scrunching up his nose and cocking his head back so that he can look up to the ceiling as well.

Scott raises his eyebrows at his daughter.

Laurie finally gives a sigh before dropping her head back down and studying the electrical charge once more, "Internet."

Scott squints at Laurie in slight suspicion. There is still no way that a fifteen year old kid can know all of that just from the internet.

"Ah, I get you, Girl." Luis doesn't seem as concerned as he nods in understanding.

Laurie just hums and nods back before silently focusing on her part of the job again. It's been a busy couple of days as they all work on their own designated stations. Luis has been getting the tools, the Russian-esque dude named Kurt has been working on the undercover and computer-y whatever, Dave has been working on getting the group's van outfitted for this kind of operation, and Scott and Laurie have been figuring out the mechanics of how he's going to break through all of the locks and alarms once inside. It's the most effort the fifteen year old girl has put into anything in a long time.

To be honest, and God forgive her for saying it, she's kinda missed the feeling of hard  work.

Laurie's been doing her best to slip away from summer school as soon as the classes are out and she's been taking sick days from gymnastics to try to clear her schedule a bit. Making excuses to her mom and Gordo, who is also basically her mom, has been the hardest as they all know she's about the most antisocial person out there in the whole wide world. At first, she had tried saying she was going for walks or jogs, but who jogs for three to six hours at a time unless they're crazy? Nobody... which makes her job of coming up with random crap all the more difficult. All of this is kinda more work than Laurie had expected, but, then again, they are robbing some rich guy tomorrow night so it's understandable if it's a little bit heavy.

When Dave calls out to Kurt and makes the man leave the kitchen table, Scott glances over at his eldest with a still, rather thoughtful raised eyebrow. Laurie tilts her head a bit away from him, her eyes widening and her neck straining so she can avoid his gaze. She doesn't handle the moments when it's just them two well. She's readily warming up to his band of thieving friends, but it's still just too weird to casually be around the guy who ditched her for some money. It feels uncomfortable and she's a firm believer in staying constantly in her comfort zone. And Scott... well, he is so far out of her comfort zone that it's hard to even start to think about actually talking to him. No matter how much she may or may not want to.

"So," Scott starts off nonchalantly, leaning back in the kitchen chair to inspect his work.

Laurie peeks up at her father with a slightly twitching eye. There he goes. He's trying to get to talk to her again. He's trying to... connect. Ew, connecting. Why do parents always want to do that? Be friends, have long talks, understand each other's emotions. Laurie really can't help but feel that it's like, 'yeah thanks for birthing me out into this miserable world, it sucks just as much as your attempt at parenting'. But that's just her take on it. She irritatedly blows out a puff of air, seeing her still dangling hair flutter from her breath while she dreads the rest of his sentence.

"Where does your mom think you are if she doesn't know you're here?"

Laurie slowly eases up from her cringing. That wasn't too bad. She considers that question for a moment before deciding that it's a fair thing to want to know.

"Told her I got a job at Baskin Robbins," she shrugs, snatching at a screwdriver as she continues to work, "I've been memorizing all thirty-one ice cream flavors in my spare time to sound believable."

"Hey!" Scott perks up a bit, finally finding a connection that can maybe get her talking, "You said Baskin Robbins?" Laurie looks over at him in acknowledgement, making him go on, "I worked there!" His eyes roll as he bobs his head from side to side and sighs out, "Well, I did until they found out I had a record."

"Oh man," Laurie tsks, shaking her head in sincerity, "Baskin Robbins always finds out."

"Yes, I know!" Scott suddenly exclaims in exasperation, throwing up his hands.

Laurie widens her eyes at his reaction before Luis looks up and points at her, "See, what'd I tell you, Scotty? Mmhm, Baskin Robbins knows things."

"It's freaky." She agrees with Luis, criss-cross-applesaucing her legs on the chair.

"Do you," Scott struggles to find something else, "plan on getting a job later on then?"

She responds unenthusiastically, "Nah. I'll probably just end up living on the streets as some homeless wacko, holding an 'End is Near' sign."

Scott shrugs, "Sounds rewarding."

She blinks up at him, "Yep."

"How about college?"

Ugh, anything but that question. Adults don't seem to understand that the future is a vicious whirlpool of impending doom from which there is no escape and Laurie would just rather not talk about it before it swallows her up too.

Still, she answers the question in a rather irritated tone, "Homeless wackos don't go to college, Scott."

There's another pause.

"Listen, Monkey,"

Laurie glances awkwardly at the others in the dim apartment and she resists an embarrassed sigh, but her grip does get a little tighter around the screwdriver.

"Can you look at me for a second?"

She rolls her eyes up, frowning as she stretches out the word, "What?"

Scott lets out a loud sigh, not even caring if the other guys in the room can hear them, "I really want to talk to you, Kiddo." Her eyes dart to the side at his words. "Just... tell me what to ask and I'll ask it."

She makes a face, "So, what? You want me to spend time with you and make up the questions too?"

"Well, you clearly don't like the questions I have been asking."

She groans, throwing up a hand and jutting out her chin, "I don't know! Like, ask something that doesn't involve growing up! Try to get to know me as a person, not as some stupid lifelong plan!"

He considers that for a moment, pushing his lips out as he nods, "Okay. That's understandable. All right, so, how about your favorite color? Is it the same as before?"

Well, that certainly is basic.

"Still blue."

"Favorite food?"

"Ramin and Chinese takeout."

"Both very healthy choices." Scott chuckles, taking the screwdriver from her, "Best friend?"

"Gordo Makina. The king of the nimrods." She smiles fondly, "He's the nice one out of the two of us."

"And, uh, how about a boyfriend?"

All of the men in the room look over at her, waiting in anticipation. It's like all the sudden these guys have gotten super protective over her. Sure, her father and her father's friends are among the group, but that shouldn't make a difference! They barely know each other. And if there is anything Laurie Lang doesn't want, it's overprotective men following her around. She'd rather drown herself in toxic waste.

"No. Love is stupid. The end." She squints at Scott, speaking in a tone that definitely tells the man to drop it.

Her father winces, "Too far?"

"Definitely too far."

"Ok-ay then, how about... favorite memory with Cassie?"

Laurie's eyes widen, "I have to choose? Um, Ron Swanson, this is hard! Ugh, lemme think, all right, um... Oh! There was one time when she was still super little and I found her in the backyard with pebbles up her nose. She was so casual about it, but I was panicking because I was scared she was gonna suffocate or something. I didn't wanna tell Mom and make her worry so I tried to do all of these stupid things to make her laugh and snort it out."

Kurt peers at her from across his computer screen, "Did this work?"

"Nope. I kinda didn't take into account that people snort in not out... The emergency room was the next stop."

Scott squints at her, smiling, "Well done."

"Yeah, saving people from life-threatening situations is apparently not my skill set."

Her dad nods in personal agreement before frowning at the ceiling as he tries to come up with something else, "Hm... Ah! What about your favorite hobbies?"

"Oh. Um." She kinda blushes as she scratches her forehead, "I like plants. And bugs. And space, both outer and personal."

Scott laughs and Laurie gives a sort of sincere smile, feeling suddenly shy about it. Not a lot of people ask what a person's interested in. They just... don't. Laurie's not sure why, but she thinks that a person's hobbies explains a lot about them as a person. Figures Scott would ask that then.

"So, plants, bugs, space, lying to your mother," Scott's eyes suddenly get wide and he rushes to say, "Oh, hey, I'm not condoning you lying to your mother by the way,"

"Why not? You did it all the time." The words are out of Laurie's mouth before she even thinks about them and immediately she finds herself wincing.

Everybody's gotten really quiet all the sudden and she can feel her face flush with that ugly embarrassed pink tinge. God, they were doing so well. He was being cool about all of it and nothing was rubbing her wrong and everything was great. That is until Laurie had to open her big fat mouth. She has that awful tendency to speak before she thinks, and she was sort of hoping to avoid that when talking with Scott.

She lets out a small sigh as she apologizes with pursed lips, "Sorry. That was uncalled for in that moment."

Despite her assumptions that he'd be ticked or upset, Scott just chuckles and gives her a small smirk, "A little uncalled for in that particular moment, yeah."

Laurie smirks back, "Hah, yeah. I can use it later on, if you want."

"Sure. Sounds like a plan."

Laurie snorts and rolls her eyes.

She goes back to being silent, deciding that that's enough bonding time for now. Though, she does glance up at Scott for a brief moment, studying him as he gets distracted with his own work. Maybe Gordo was right. Maybe Scott should get a second chance. Sure, this isn't an exactly ideal situation, but, hey, you know, family bonding time. Then, as Scott catches her stare and glances up at her in blank confusion, she smiles.

♢ ♢ ♢

"No! No way! That was not part of the deal!"

Laurie sits in the back of the brown van with her knees pulled up to her chest and a black backpack strapped over her shoulders. Her face is tight and her lips are scrunched into a frown and she's definitely scowling. And her father is definitely scowling back. Sitting in the driver's seat, Dave has his cheek pressed to his knuckles as he boredly stares out the window. Luis just awkwardly watches out the back window while Kurt swings back and forth out on the telephone pole outside of Laurie's window. They've been going at it like a ping-pong match for about six minutes now and Laurie is not doing so well.

How does one convince their father to let them tag along to actually break into someone's house?

God, why didn't she do a google search before showtime?

Laurie huffs, still trying to convince him, "The deal is I keep my mouth shut and you let me tag along. This is part of the tagging along portion, if you remember."

Scott sighs in frustration, shaking his head and looking out the windshield.

"And, look, I've prepared!"

The two of three stooges in the car look at her, but Scott doesn't.

Laurie holds up her hands and wiggles her black-covered fingers, "I'm wearing gloves!"

"Hey, that's good!" Luis shakes a fist at her happily.

She beams before frowning back at Scott and finishing pulling hair up into a top bun, "So, are we ready or do you want me to run off and call Paxton?"

Scott just sighs and shakes his head, "Fine." She barely resists a smirk before he points his own black-gloved finger back at her, "But you follow my lead and you don't tell anybody about this."

Laurie zips her fingers across her sealed lips, "Nope, not anybody. Zip, zilch, nothing, nada. You got it."

Scott rolls his eyes and shakes his head once more, adjusting his backpack over his shoulders.

Kurt suddenly pipes up in his funky Russian accent, getting them focused back on the job as he still swings from the telephone pole outside, "Landline's cut, cell signal's jammed. No one will be making for distress call tonight."

"All check," Luis taps his ear comm.

"Check."

"Check."

"Check," Laurie chirps at the end, trying hard to not sound so giddy but completely failing.

Scott just sighs at her once more, blinking off into space.

"Hey," Luis seriously turns to the two of them as Scott bumps Laurie's knee to get ready, "if the job goes bad, you know I got your guys' back, right?"

"Don't worry," Laurie begins.

And Scott finishes as he pulls up his hood, "It's not gonna happen."

The father and daughter slip out of the van seamlessly, closing the door before they walk briskly towards the tall fence that outlines the large, towery mansion. The two still in the van remain serious until Scott and Laurie have reached the center of the road before they start chuckling at them.

Luis grins over at Dave, shaking his head a little, "Hah, I love it when they get cocky."

With determination set onto their faces, the two get a running start and then leap up onto the wooden fence. They grip grip tightly on the edge before gracefully spinning their bodies around and then dropping over the other side without making a sound.

"Dang!" Dave pulls back in shock at their skills.

The father and daughter make their way through the dark backyard, Laurie sticking close to Scott's back as she remembers the outline of the plan and his crazy strict orders. They move down the brick made staircase before they step into the dewy grass, moving along the edge of the window-filled house. They both slowly peer up at the second story window that just happens to be their entrance.

Scott glances over at his daughter, whispering, "think you can make that?"

Laurie scoffs, mimicking, "'Think you can make that?' Psh, please."

The girl immediately goes for it, leaping up onto the ledge of the window and pulling herself up before bouncing again. She reaches the next ledge, leaning over to slip her hands around the pipe that follows up the wall. She barely even holds onto it before making a soft grunt as she leaps over to the next window, landing on the final window ledge with a near silent thump.

Scott watches in surprise before shrugging, "Well done."

He quickly follows up behind her, moving just as skillfully and carefully as his daughter. She presses her back to the window as Scott does the same, taking off his backup to begin working on the breaker that is stuck to the house's upper wall. As Laurie glances down at the grass so very far down below, she thanks the high heavens that she's been in gymnastics all these years and is used to these stupid crazy heights.

"How's it going?" Laurie whispers over, peering around his black shoulder to see him close the breaker's small door.

He answers her by announcing to everyone, "Alarm is dead."

"Nice."

Once Scott gets the window open, he slides in first and waits for Laurie land down into the plush carpet beside him before continuing on. As they move through the heavily cluttered library and then down the tall hallways, Laurie can't help but feel rather cool that she's doing all this. She laughs a little to herself as the others go on with their serious burglar lingo or whatever.

Scott glances back at her, "Hey, you okay?"

"Me?" She straightens as they begin to descend a big oaky staircase.

"Who else would I be talking to in here?"

"Oh," she begins whispering back, "Well, yeah, I'm cool. You know, it's just..."

Scott tilts his head to the side, "Just what?"

She shrugs before giving another wheezing laugh, "I've never robbed anybody before."

Scott just heaves out a sigh and rolls his eyes, "Good Lord." He moves on, speaking to the others over the comms, "All right, we're moving through the house."

They reach the bottom of the staircase before glancing around.

"Aha!" Laurie slides across the wooden floor and picks up a keychain with a mini tank on it, wiggling the keys at Scott, "Useful?"

"I'd say." He snatches them from her before swinging open the door that they've learnt will lead them down to the basement.

Laurie's legs hurriedly jog down after Scott, peeking over his shoulder to see as he slides the key into the hole. The door then slides open and another weirder door is there behind it. With a face, Laurie reaches a hand over his shoulder to lift up a strange plastic hatch to reveal something that makes the both of them groan internally.

Scott leans down to look at it better, whispering, "There's a fingerprint lock on the door."

"It's got what?" Luis sounds shocked, "Ernesto didn't tell me nothing about that. Ah, man, are we screwed?"

Scott thoughtfully looks down and then off to the side, "Not necessarily."

"Wait really?" Laurie asks with wide eyes.

He's suddenly brushing by her and hurriedly moving back up the staircase again. She throws out her hands at him as she follows behind, staring after him in irritated confusion. He moves directly into the kitchen, clearly knowing exactly what he's looking for. He begins digging through the kitchen drawers until he pulls out a roll of tape, super glue, and a small metal ring. He quickly sets to work on the wooden island, solely focusing on his task as Laurie just stands there with her hands still sprawled out.

"I'm sorry, but you wanna tell me how the farfignewton are you going to fake a," she goes silent as she watches her father stick the tape to the door handle, lifting a print before he begins to make a glue imprint of it. "Oh wow." She steps closer, speaking in awe before she remembers her bitter and casual facade, "Hey, I mean, good job. That was kinda smart."

"Thanks." Scott replies quickly before grabbing her arm and leading her back down to the finger scanner, "Come on."

Laurie watches with baited breath as he presses the glue imprint to the scanner. The thing beeps, scans, and then a green light flashes and the door unlocks.

Scott glances down before whispering, "We're in."

"No alarms have been triggered. He's in like the Flynn."

Laurie opens her mouth to correct his slightly altered phrase, but she just rolls her eyes and gives up. No purpose in correcting him anyway. The final door slowly creaks open and the father and daughter carefully step in with anticipation clearly ingrained onto their faces.

This slowly fades away into an open-mouthed gaze at the sight before them. Instead of some grand prize, they are met with yet another humongous safe that is black and covered in silver bars, locks, and pins. Laurie makes a face at it, breathing tiredly as she rests her gloved hands on her hips.

"Oh, man," Scott grumbles to himself, stretching the word out in disbelief.

"What?" Laurie raises an eyebrow, glancing from the safe to Scott.

Luis pipes up, questioning along with the girl, "What is it?"

Scott sigh a breath before twitching his head to the side and frowning a little, "Well, they weren't kidding. This safe is serious."

Laurie looks back at the thing in suspicion. Serious? Come on, this thing looks ancient. It really cannot be as difficult as getting into a stupid fingerprint lock, right?

"How serious are we talking, Scotty?"

He replies like they should know the severity of his answer, "It's a Carbondale."

"Okay, a Carbondale." Laurie repeats with a shrug. "So?"

"It's from 1910." Her dad explains, slowly sauntering over to the safe, "Made from the same steel as the Titanic."

"Wow," Luis breathes before quickly asking, "Can you crack it?"

"Well, here's the thing;" Scott runs his hand down and tops the front of the safe as Laurie watches still kinda in awe of him, "It doesn't do so well in the cold," he glances at Laurie before looking around the room, "Remember what that iceberg did?"

The fifteen year old's eyes widen, remembering the movie, "Oh, no, Jack!"

"Yeah, Man. She right. It killed DiCaprio."

"Killed everybody."

"Did not kill the old lady... She still throw the jewel into the oceans."

Laurie pauses before scrunching her face and nodding off to the side in agreement. Scott doesn't pay her any mind as he briskly begins moving through the room. He moves all around her, grabbing different items from the basement shelves and then from his pack as his mind works a million miles a minute. Laurie can't do much but just spin in a circle to watch him work. She always knew her dad was smart, but it's kind of cool to see him in his element. Well, it's also illegal, but the point is that she's learning that he seems to do his best work when there's pressure and he has to think his way out. Scott suddenly rests a rounded device to the safe's metal door and, with a look on concentration on his face, drills into the steel, creating a quiet hum.

Laurie quickly snaps out of her impressed daze to step over and be by his side, "Hey, hey, what can I do?"

"Grab that air mattress." He nods over his shoulder to one of the shelves, "Start blowing it up?"

"Got it." She nods firmly, following his instructions with an expression that matches her father's

It's a flurry of motion as the two move around each other, one following the other's quick instructions so they can get the job done. They, honestly, and surprisingly, work pretty well together. Laurie guesses she just thought that if Scott ever tried to tell her what to do, she'd just spontaneously combust and that would be the end of it. But, for some reason, as he tells her to hang up a comforter from the rafters and pour the water into the main lock, she doesn't feel bothered or even close to being annoyed. He sprays nitrogen gas into the lock after she steps off to the side before he checks his watch and gives her a nod.

They both gracefully jump over the air mattress that Scott kicks closer at the last second. They both duck behind the wall near the hanging comforter, letting out quiet and tired breaths. Peering around the bricks to watch their work show its fruit, Laurie grabs hold of his shoulder to balance herself.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Laurie poured water in the locking mechanism and I froze it with nitrogen." Scott explains with a heavy breath, "Ice expands."

"Ooh, metal doesn't!" Laurie whispers in realization, tapping the side of her nose in understanding.

"Mmhm," Scott hums back, holding his wrist up to still keep track of how much time is left before the safe goes ka-bloom.

"What are you doing now?"

Scott looks back down at his watch and Laurie leans over his arm to look as well, "Waiting."

The thing groans and whines as a white haze grows over the metal like an infection. The safe then begins to expand and then bolts are shooting off the thing, smacking into the comforter and missing their faces by mere centimeters. The safe gives one final and mournful moan before the bars completely snap and the safe comes cascading down onto the air mattress with a loud bang.

"He-ey!" Laurie cheers as she steps out from behind the comforter.

Scott gives a small nod, curving his lips down, "Nice."

They both jump back over the fallen icy door and practically dive into the now open safe only to be met with the most disappointing thing ever.

"What the carp?" Laurie whispers as her eyes widen and her face falls in disbelief.

"What is it?" Luis' voice gets more excited with each option, "Cash? Jewels?"

The father and daughter look around quickly as if they're not quite ready to believe what they're seeing just yet. It's a tiny gray room that is disgustingly empty. Some old bottles of red and blue liquid are dusty on the shelves while white and teal blueprints hang from a pole on the wall. Then in the center of the room is a boring metal table with a boring and weird gray, black, and red suit and helmet lying on top of it. Laurie takes in a sharp breath, her lips pulling apart as she stares at it.

Scott struggles for words, "W-w, there's nothing here."

"You have got to be kidding!" Laurie says in a high and angry voice, pulling at the sleeves of the suit.

"What did you say?"

"I-it's a suit!"  Scott replies in a shocked and aggravated voice while he grabs at the weird helmet.

"What?"

Quizzically picking the suit up and staring at it, he sounds disgusted as he tells the rest of the group, "It's an old motorcycle suit."

"There's no cash, no jewelry, nothing?"

Laurie slaps her hand to her forehead, breathing out in frustration. All of this work and for nothing! They have spent days trying to do this and all they can get out of it is some stupid suit? She purses a frown, feeling upset for herself until she looks over at her dad. It's weird what she feels in her chest then. She feels... sympathy. Oh man, she feels so bad for him. He needed this money to be able to pay for that new apartment and then for child support; all to just see Cassie again. And now they have nothing and even less time. 

"No." Scott smacks down the helmet, trying to look anywhere but at his daughter, "It's a bust."

The guys on the other end of the line all sigh, feeling just as much regret as them.

"I'm really sorry, Scotty," Luis pushes out a breath, "I know you needed a score."

Scott just nods with a distant look in his eyes, pursing his lips down at the suit.

"Hey?"

He glances up at Laurie as she stands across from him, awkwardly rubbing her gloved fingers against the edge of the table.

She gives a weak and apologetic shrug, "Sorry, Dad."

He gives her a sad half smile. He really does feel like an idiot, like he's let her down all over again. He's never been overly proud of the one thing he's good at when thinking about Laurie and Cassie. But now that Laurie was here and involved, he did want to succeed. He just kinda wanted to show her that he was good for something, that he could actually follow through on something, anything. Turns out he can't even steal things well anymore.

"Not your fault." Scott finally shakes his head before hurriedly bundling the suit up, "All right. Come on, Laurie, let's get out of here before somebody notices."

She quickly agrees and follows her dad up the basement staircase only to stop for a brief second. She looks back over her shoulder at the empty safe with a deep frown.

There's no way that can be all there is.

This was either some kind of a trap...

Or that suit...

That suit is worth something.

AHHHH! So the suit is finally in the picture and Laurie is getting into this mess deeper and deeper! What were your thoughts? We're getting to know Laurie more and she's still warring herself about how to feel about Scott and now Pym knows about her too. This was a bit of a filler chapter, I know, but it was essential to the story and the next chapter is so much better, I promise! I have written up different bits of the next one so expect it soon! AND HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW ANT-MAN AND THE WASP TRAILER?! So excited!

Also! I wanted to give a shoutout to the incredible Ariadoney for helping me with the new title and cover ideas for this story! It's been needing a change. SO, thanks girl!

Alrighto, give me your thoughts! Vote, comment, and follloooow!

Funny Thingamabob:

Is all he does is dance or what?